Knowing Me Knowing You

by Mandy Baggot

  ‘Well Philip’s taken all the children down the park so they can burn off some energy. Cyrus is here today and he’s been driving me mad. He isn’t just whispering now, he’s stamping his feet as he does it which all but drowns out what he’s trying to say completely,’ Hermione informed.

  ‘Hang on I thought Philip was away. I wanted to borrow him remember and you said no and made an excuse.’

  ‘Change of plan, he’s going relic hunting in a few weeks now. One of his team had an unexpected birth, two months early, baby boy, small but doing well. Anyway, it isn’t as if the ancient treasures are going anywhere.’

  ‘So was Bethan good? Didn’t wake? Not up too early? Did she eat all her breakfast?’

  ‘She was an absolute angel, as always.’ Hermione reassured.

  ‘Oh I’m so glad. Thanks so much for having her Mione, can I settle up with you next week - it’s just it’s not pay day until the twenty fifth,’ Kate spoke a little embarrassed.

  ‘Don’t be silly, I don’t want paying. Last night wasn’t child-minding, last night was babysitting for a friend and I won’t hear any more about it,’ Hermione insisted.

  ‘Thank you,’ Kate replied.

  ‘How are things financially if you don’t mind me asking?’

  ‘Fine, I won a hundred pounds remember,’ Kate answered, hiding her eyes.

  ‘I’ll read your tea leaves,’ Hermione threatened.

  ‘Things are tight but I’m managing. Must stop booking escorts though, it isn’t cheap,’ Kate replied.

  ‘Well, I have to say, I’m disappointed. I read the runes and I read the cards and they told me that last night was going to be the start of something for you,’ Hermione said with a sigh.

  ‘Oh it was, it was the start of my investigation into whether or not the Lady Dragon wears a wig,’ Kate said excitedly, a wicked smile crossing her face.

  ‘What?! Oh tell all!’ Hermione said, clapping her hands together in delight.

  Nine

  Kate’s head was still thumping that evening when she put Bethan to bed. Although Philip had worn the children out at the park, Bethan had demanded game after game of hide and seek in the garden when they had got home. Trying not to die of boredom when her daughter hid in the same place was usually challenge enough, but it was infinitely worse when you felt like death.

  ‘Mummy,’ Bethan spoke, reaching up a hand and pulling at Kate’s hair.

  ‘Time for sleep now Bethy. Give Mr Crisps a cuddle,’ Kate spoke, handing her daughter her favourite bear.

  Mr Crisps was so named because he was a limited edition bear from a crisp manufacturer. Just three tokens plus postage and packing. Bethan had been having a lot of bargain treats lately. Matthew had bought her a Steiff bear when she was born. It had been a show of wealth and he had told everybody and anybody about it. But the bear was sat on top of the wardrobe, still in its box, not played with. Kate thought it had an angry little face and she was terrified of Bethan swallowing the button from its ear.

  ‘Teddy crisps,’ Bethan said and hugged the bear into her.

  ‘Night, night darling,’ Kate said and stroked her daughter’s hair, watching her eyes flicker closed.

  Bethan laughed and smiled and Kate turned off the light and left the room. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before descending the stairs. She knew what was waiting for her.

  Her laptop was open on the table and next to it was a pile of urgent bills. There were almost a dozen. Electricity, water, gas, telephone, mobile phone, internet, council tax etc. etc. There was a demand for almost everything.

  Kate bypassed the invoices, opened the fridge and took out a box. Tonight it was chilli con carne, ready in three minutes. She slipped off the sleeve, pierced the container and put it in the microwave. She set it to cook, opened the fridge and took out the bottle of wine she had bought on the way back from Hermione’s. Italian tonight, on a BOGOF, twelve percent but as she had two for the price of one she wouldn’t feel too guilty if she had to open the second bottle.

  She hurriedly opened it, poured herself a glass and drank half of it in one desperate gulp. The headache seemed to ease instantly.

  She sat down at the laptop and began to go through the bills. She clicked onto the internet and logged into her bank’s website to check her account. She knew she had saved two hundred pounds to cover the urgent bills plus there was the seventy five pounds Matthew paid into her account every Friday for Bethan. Hopefully it would be enough to pay everything that needed to be paid. If not she would be back to a diet of tinned soup and Value bread for a week.

  She clicked into her account information and the details came up. There was just the two hundred pounds in the account. Kate furrowed her brow and clicked into the statement of transactions. There had been nothing paid into her account from Matthew since the previous week. There was also a direct debit due to go out the next day.

  The microwave beeped to inform her it had finished cooking the chilli. Kate looked at the account, totted up some figures on the calculator and stared at the screen. She couldn’t afford to pay the bills. She could put some on her credit card but that was building up too, what with early evening trips to the wine section of the supermarket and paying for Elite Escorts. But that apart, why hadn’t Matthew’s standing order gone through?

  As she was reheating the chilli she telephoned the bank, hoping against hope that there was some technical fault their end or that she had missed a bank holiday or something. But there was no explanation and there was no fault with her account. The money from Matthew hadn’t been received and there was nothing stuck in the electronic system.

  She didn’t know what to do. She really needed the money, but that meant phoning Matthew. She couldn’t phone him. She hadn’t spoken to him since just after he left. He had phoned about a week after his departure, while she was still moping at home in front of CBeebies, cornflakes in her hair and an undressed Bethan on her lap. He’d given her his address and phone number and told her he had set up the standing order. He hadn’t asked about Bethan, in fact he hadn’t even mentioned her name. The entire correspondence since had been through their solicitors and very quickly the divorce had come through. There had seemed little reason to interact at all after that.

  Kate took out her address book from the drawer of the dresser, found the entry and stared at it. Matthew Baxter. Her husband’s name in her address book in her handwriting, just like every other entry. It was just his details but seeing his name conjured up so many images. Maybe she was overreacting; it was obviously just an oversight. Maybe the money would be there tomorrow or in the week. She didn’t want to phone him, she didn’t want to hear his voice. She was afraid of what hearing it would do to her.

  She picked up the phone. She put it down. She took a deep breath and composed herself. Why did thinking of him still do this to her? She was divorced from him; he had left her and Bethan. He was part of her past and nothing more. He had abandoned them. She snatched up the phone and dialled in the number. It rang and she waited, holding her breath.

  ‘Hello.’

  The sound of a woman’s voice shocked her and she didn’t know what to do. Should she hang up? Who was this woman? Should she speak? What should she say? She cleared her throat and tried to compose herself.

  ‘Oh hello is, er, Matthew there please?’

  ‘Who’s calling?’ the woman asked in secretarial tones.

  ‘It’s Kate.’

  There was complete silence at the other end after she had said her name and she could tell the mood of the woman had changed. It was an almost hostile silence until she eventually spoke.

  ‘Matt, it’s her.’

  Her?! Kate had never been referred to as a ‘her’ before. A ‘her’ was someone despised; ‘her’ was a reference you would use if you were speaking about someone playing the part of a mistress to your adulterous spouse. But she wasn’t a mistress, she was an ex-wife and she was the injured party here. Kate cringed and felt angry and upset at the
same time, tears pricking her eyes. She didn’t want to be doing this but she had to, for Bethan.

  ‘Hello,’ Matthew’s voice spoke.

  Kate’s heart flipped just hearing him and she was mad at herself for feeling that way. He had a nice voice, soft and low, sultry even. And she used to love the way he laughed, a mellow, deep laugh like his vocal chords had been soaked in honey. She hadn’t spoken and she needed to.

  ‘Oh hello Matthew, I was just online checking my bank account and your standing order hasn’t gone through this week,’ Kate spoke hurriedly, pushing the words out as fast as she could.

  ‘No,’ Matthew replied not sounding surprised.

  ‘Oh, you knew? Was there a problem with your bank?’ Kate enquired.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Oh, well what’s happened? I mean…’ Kate began, sensing a flatness in his voice that she barely recognised.

  ‘I can’t pay you any more Kate, I don’t have the money,’ Matthew answered.

  His voice definitely wasn’t sultry now; it was matter of fact and cool.

  Kate felt like she had been shot. What had he said? He couldn’t pay her any more? No, he can’t have said that, they had a long-standing agreement.

  ‘I - I don’t understand,’ Kate replied meekly her chest pounding.

  ‘I can’t afford it, what with bills and the car and my flat. I just can’t afford to pay you any more,’ Matthew repeated in a businesslike tone.

  ‘But Matthew, Bethan needs the money. She needs clothes and nappies and food and…’ Kate began, trying hard not to cry.

  ‘You’ve got a good job, ask for a pay rise. Anyway, I told you, I never wanted a kid in the first place, I don’t see why I should pay for something I didn’t want,’ Matthew spoke.

  The words cut at Kate like little arrows fired at her heart. This wasn’t the man in their wedding pictures. This wasn’t the man who waltzed her on the dance floor to Celine Dion and kindly held the best man’s head over the toilet as he puked up before the cake-cutting. This was someone else, this was the man who had pre-packed his belongings and left her standing tearfully in the kitchen trying to ignore the depressing wails of Chris Martin.

  ‘How can you say that Matthew? She’s your daughter. Why doesn’t that mean anything to you?’

  ‘I don’t want to talk to you about this Kate.’

  ‘But we have to talk about it, I need some financial help from you, it’s what was agreed in court. You have to help pay for her, it’s the law.’

  ‘Look, I can’t afford it, it’s as simple as that, sorry,’ Matthew said not sounding as if he was sorry at all.

  ‘Matthew, I really think…’ Kate started.

  The phone went silent. He had hung up.

  Kate looked at the phone, unable to believe what had just happened. He wasn’t going to pay her anything. He didn’t care about Bethan, he had a new flat, obviously a new girlfriend and a new life. Kate and Bethan were history, he had moved on and he wasn’t looking back. He had hung up on her; put the phone down like she was a cold caller from Calcutta.

  Suddenly she was overcome with grief all over again. She burst into tears and waves of sobbing rode over her. She put the phone down, sat on the sofa and cried into her hands until they were saturated with tears. What was she going to do? Her beautiful little girl had a father who had disowned her and a mother who was struggling to make ends meet. She had wanted the best for her, a good, solid start in life with a mum and dad who adored her and could give her everything she needed. The reality was the complete opposite. It wasn’t fair, she didn’t deserve this and she didn’t know how to get out of it.

  But very quickly, aided by another glass of wine, the hostility Matthew had in his voice hit her like a train. It had been like he was talking to someone he hated, not the mother of his child, not someone he had shared a life and a marriage with. Kate hurriedly wiped the tears off her face and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. She picked up the photo frame that contained their wedding picture. Calmly, she opened the back and took out the image. She looked at it, her smile, her beautiful dress, Matthew next to her. The wavy hair and boyish looks. He had held her hand so tightly. It had all been a lie, all his declarations of love and vows of eternal devotion. Looking at the photo now just made her feel sick. She ripped it harshly, first in half and then into tiny little pieces until there was nothing visible left.

  Then, almost controlled, she went back over to her laptop and typed ‘Child Support Agency’ into the search engine. She would not let him ruin Bethan’s start, and she was not going to be walked over any more.

  Ten

  ‘Morning,’ Kate spoke cheerily as Hermione opened the door to her on Monday morning.

  ‘Ooo, someone sounds happy. What did you get up to yesterday? Any more television shows I should know about? Hello Bethan Sweetie,’ Hermione greeted, lifting up the little girl and giving her a kiss.

  ‘God no, no I spoke to Matthew on Saturday night and briefly to his new girlfriend,’ Kate stated in a matter of fact manner.

  ‘Daddy,’ Bethan suddenly announced at the mention of his name.

  Kate swallowed and ruffled her daughter’s hair, a pang of hurt tugging at her. If only she knew.

  ‘I have a grapefruit tea infusing, come into the kitchen. Brook! Can you take Bethan to do drawing with you for a minute please?’ Hermione asked her daughter as she appeared in the hallway.

  Kate followed Hermione into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

  ‘So what happened? Why did you phone Matthew? I thought you two hadn’t spoken for months,’ Hermione said as she prepared the tea.

  ‘We haven’t. He hadn’t paid in Bethan’s money this week; there was nothing from him in my bank. I thought it was an oversight or a mistake at his end but no, I phoned him and he told me he doesn’t intend to pay anything towards Bethan’s care. In fact what he said was he didn’t see why he had to pay for something he never wanted in the first place, or words to that effect,’ Kate explained.

  ‘Oh Kate!’ Hermione exclaimed in shock.

  ‘Nice thing to say about your daughter isn’t it? Well I cried and I cried and then I ripped up one of our wedding photos and felt mildly better and then I thought, what a complete and utter bastard, how dare you. How dare you treat me and Bethan like that, like we don’t matter. So I got on the internet and I made an online application to the Child Support Agency. I don’t care if he can’t make ends meet; I am having some of what he does have for my daughter,’ Kate spoke firmly, her eyes flashing with determination.

  ‘Good for you, it’s only right,’ Hermione agreed, putting a cup on the table in front of Kate.

  ‘And I have been far too sentimental about him for far too long a time. There was nothing there from him; he couldn’t care less about us now. And after what he said about Bethan…’ Kate said, tears welling up.

  ‘So what are you going to do about money in the meantime? If waiving my fee for a while will help then consider it done,’ Hermione spoke.

  ‘No, I won’t hear of that, don’t even think it. You do too much for me already giving Bethan a cooked meal every day and treats she can’t have at home, no. I phoned my Aunt Jess yesterday, I told her the situation, every sordid little detail, and I asked her for a loan. I didn’t want to do it, I mean we don’t really get on, but I have to think of Bethan and not my stupid pride. And, as I suspected she was more than happy to lend me the money and that should tide us over for a bit,’ Kate explained.

  ‘And the long term plan?’

  ‘Promise you won’t laugh or say I told you so.’

  ‘Would I ever?’

  ‘I’m going to go to the next round of Knowing Me Knowing You, I’m going to get through to the finals and I’m going to win. I am going to win that hundred thousand pounds if it kills me,’ Kate announced.

  Hermione let out a scream of laughter and put her hand to her mouth.

  ‘I know I said I would rather die than do anything like that again, but I have
a daughter, I have a shit for an ex-husband and I need the money. Think how much that would pay off my mortgage,’ Kate explained, taking a sip of her tea.

  ‘I think it’s a marvellous idea and it sounds like you’ve thought it all through.’

  ‘I’ve done nothing but think about it all night.’

  ‘Now, I don’t want to put a dampener on your good mood but doesn’t Knowing Me Knowing You require a couple?’

  ‘Yes of course, that’s probably going to be the hardest bit. I’m going to have to call Elite Escorts, speak to Joel and try to persuade him to enter into this mad scam with me. I don’t even remember getting home the last time we went out so I don’t expect him to be pleased to hear from me,’ Kate said.

  ‘And will you be able to pay for his time? I mean there’ll be two weekends at least, plus other nights out to go over questions and things.’

  ‘Hmm, that’s another stumbling block I’ve got to get over. I have to get him to do it all for a cut of the prize money, a very small cut and no guarantee of us winning. How do you think that’s going to go down?’ Kate asked her friend.

  ‘How about a different way to raise some cash? How about having some candle parties? Or becoming an Avon representative, lots of my ladies do that for a bit extra. I mean game shows are…’ Hermione began.

  ‘You don’t think he’ll do it.’

  ‘I think you might have to spend some time on your pitch,’ Hermione told her.

  When Kate arrived at Randall’s everyone she said hello to or passed in the corridor looked at her with a wry smile on their face. She checked her reflection in the lift mirror expecting to see Marmite on her cheek or felt pen on the collar of her shirt, but there was nothing odd about her appearance that she could immediately identify.

  However, when she walked into the Probate room she was greeted by all her colleagues, stood around her desk cheering and whooping. The desk itself was covered in heart shaped confetti, balloons and streamers and there was a big banner on the wall proclaiming ‘Well Done Kate’.