Reawakened Secrets

by Denae, Mari

  The Present

  The hospital had released Alice two weeks ago, and I promised to spend the night with her since it was my day off. I had stayed away for as long as I could, because I knew Jackson would be with her. I hadn’t seen him since the hospital stairwell. All the flowers and gifts had stopped. He hadn’t shown up at the hospital or called. I didn’t know if this was a new form of torture or if he had really decided to give up. Either way, I was still screwed. It was well past time to tell him the truth. I owed him that much. The sooner the better. But I just couldn’t force myself to do something that would replace the way he looked at me now with the way he would look at me after he knew.

  Alice was in her room listening to the radio, painting her toes. She looked gorgeous as usual.

  “Hey, you were supposed to wait for me. Now what are we going to do for the rest of the night?” I teased. She laughed, but continued to concentrate on her toes. Something was wrong. The mega-watt smile I was used to seeing was replaced with downcast eyes.

  “There’s nothing to worry about. We have plenty to do.”

  “Oh, okay. What did you have in mind?”

  “Well, I’ve got good news and something you might not think is so good yet. What do you want to know first?”

  “Alice!”

  “Claire,” she replied sweetly.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  “Okay, the sort of good news it is. We’re going out with Jackson and some of his friends.”

  “What! Look Alice, if you have other plans, we can hang out another time. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun, but that’s really not my idea of a good time.”

  “Well that’s too bad, Claire. You promised to spend tonight with me, and I’m not going to let you weasel out of it. Besides, we’re going out to celebrate my recovery, and it wouldn’t be the same without you,” she said. Then she looked up and continued to silently plead her case.

  “How the hell do you always get me to do the shit I wouldn’t do on my own if hell froze over?”

  Her lips twitched and she quickly looked down at her toes again. “So you’re going?”

  “You knew I would. Okay, so hit me with the good news. I think I need it.”

  Carefully, she replaced the top of the polish and slid to the edge of the bed, before looking at me. Her expression was once again serious.

  “Claire, don’t freak out on me because you’re still going. Okay? You have to promise me.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t mix up the things you need to tell me? I honestly don’t think I can take good news that’s going to freak me out more than hanging out with Jackson and his friends.”

  “Shut up and promise, brat!”

  A surprised snort slipped out before I doubled over with laughter. “You know you’re not making any sense.”

  Alice just continued to look at me with cool, calm eyes.

  “Fine, I promise. Just tell me already.”

  “After Jackson brought me home from the hospital, we had a long talk.” She hesitated, studying my face intently. I knew how close they were. They used to talk all the time. What was the difference this time? Then it hit me—hard.

  Here we go. I guess this is why I haven’t heard from him. Brother and sister relationship my ass.

  “And?”

  “And, he told me how he feels about you. He didn’t say the exact words, but I think he’s in love with you.”

  “What?”

  “Jackson loves you, Claire.”

  How could he tell her something like that without talking to me first? Because you’ve been too busy running, you big coward.

  “You’re suffering from temporary insanity just like he is. He doesn’t love me. He can’t. Why would anyone give me the time of day if they could have you instead?”

  I said it as a joke, but deep down, I was serious. Alice was beautiful, kind—perfect inside and out. More importantly, she belonged in Jackson’s world, and I sure as hell did not. There was no doubt about it. The man was certifiably insane. And Alice was the absolute last person I wanted to talk to about Jackson and love. I could barely stand to look at her. I’m sure she heard the serious undercurrent to what I said, but she only responded to my joke.

  “That’s a good question,” she said. “It could have something to do with the fact that the two of you were made for each other.”

  My head snapped up to find her sharp blue eyes boring into me. I struggled not to even twitch. Alice would see every sign of weakness. “I don’t understand. I know you and Jackson were always supposed to be together. You’re too important to me to let him come between us. I’m not trying to steal him away from you, Alice.”

  “I know you would never do something like that,” she admonished.

  I swallowed the denial on the tip of my tongue. “What’s going on? Are you seriously trying to hook me up with Jackson?”

  “I’m just accepting the truth. I can’t deny it when he tells me straight to my face, Claire? He just doesn’t care about me like that.”

  “The truth is, all my life I’ve seen how much he cares about you. He dropped everything and everyone when you were hurt. He’s been making sure you were taken care of for the last ten years. He sure as hell wasn’t by my side.” I cringed realizing how bitter that sounded. “Look, I know you care about him too. You never dated anyone else in high school, not once. The two of you were even planning to spend that summer together backpacking through Europe. I know you hoped that would be the beginning of a real relationship—a romantic relationship. You love him, Alice, and he deserves you,” I said miserably.

  “Claire, if we’re really being honest, I never dated him either. I do love him, and I love you too. If my accident never happened, maybe the two of you would have been together all this time. What kind of friend would I be to stand in your way now?”

  “Alice, don’t say that.”

  “I’m serious, Claire. I made sure he understands he better be everything you deserve.”

  Fuck. Sweet, trusting Alice. “I swear to God, you’re killing me. Just once, stop thinking about everyone else. You love Jackson. You want him. You told me, over and over, for years. I could never fight you for him, never.”

  “Claire, stop being silly.”

  “No, you stop. You love Jackson. Just say it. You love him. Tell me he’s yours and I-”

  “If he wanted me, sure, I’d love to see where that would go. But he doesn’t.” She paused to force a smile on her face, but it was all wrong. Just looking at it made my chest ache. “I’m not going to lie. It’s a little weird. I’ve always thought Jackson belonged to me. It looks like I had you convinced too. Now I see how ridiculous that was. No matter what I hoped would happen, he and I have never been anything more than friends. I just kept looking forward to the falling in love part. But that would have happened a long time ago if we were meant to be.” She had to be trying to hide her true feelings from me. Her mouth said one thing, but her eyes told a different story.

  Even after all this time, Alice had already slipped back into her role of protector. I could only imagine what it cost her to be the kind of friend I wish I had been to her—the kind of friend she had always been to me. I wanted to hug her tight and run to Jackson with open arms. I wished I could fool myself into thinking my situation wasn’t hopeless. That Alice could actually be happy about Jackson and me being together. But more than that, I wanted to be better, do better by my best friend. I had to find a way to salvage our relationship. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her again.

  “Alice, I can’t. I don’t deserve this. I know it isn’t as easy as you’re trying to make it seem. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for me. What do you really want?”

  “It’s kind of cool for the two people I love most to end up together. My feelings are a little hurt, but that’s no big deal if you love each other. I could never be mad about anything that makes you and Jackson happy. I’m just glad Jackson cared enough to tell me before you two got together.
I would have probably felt a little stupid otherwise.”

  I choked back a sob and fought to hold in the tears. But one leaked out and then another.

  “Alice, I’m so sorry,” I cried. Tears, now streaked down my face in a flood. It seemed as though I was trying to make up for my ten-year drought in just a couple months. Alice’s eyes widened at my total overreaction. Shifting off the bed, she sat next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “You’ve been through so much already. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Ahh, Claire, don’t worry. Everything’s going to work out. Better you than someone else, right? Otherwise, you’d have to teach me how to fight, so I could scratch her eyes out.”

  “Stop trying to make me laugh.” I took a deep breath to steady my crumbling heart. “Nothing could ever be right without you, Alice. Not even being with Jackson. I can’t lose you again.”

  “Never gonna happen.”

  “You’ll regret this. You’d change your mind if you if you knew who I really am now.”

  “Claire, you’re my family. I’ll always love you, no matter what. There’s no changing that. Stop worrying about me and start thinking about him. I’m going to concentrate on all the hot guys I’ll have once you’re on lock down.”

  “Yeah right. Did ten years out of commission magically turn you into a slut?”

  “We’ll see,” she said with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. “Just, do me a favor, please.”

  “Anything.”

  “Don’t hurt him, Claire. Even though he’s dumb enough to doubt it, I know you care about him too. Otherwise, you would have said so by now. Be honest with him, okay?”

  Honest—right. I’d rather nose-dive off a ten story building, but sure. “You’re right, Alice. The problem is I’m not sure if things will turn out the way you think. I . . .”

  “You what?”

  I couldn’t tell her. Jackson first, and then Alice would get her turn.

  “I’ve been lost without you, friend. You, my mom, Jackson—you’re all I’ve ever had. I love you so much. Please don’t forget that no matter what happens.”

  “I love you too, brat. Don’t worry. It’s going to be fine. Now, it’s time for you to get ready.”

  I looked down at my jeans and T-shirt and started to panic. “Oh crap, I don’t have anything to wear.”

  “Lucky for you, Jackson thinks of everything. He left something for you. Go in the bathroom and try it on. I can’t wait to see you in it.”

  “Will you at least tell me where we’re going?”

  “To the hottest club in town. Now go change your clothes.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I shuffled unsteadily toward the bathroom. On the counter was a huge white box with a giant red bow and an exclusive label. I jiggled the top off and carefully parted the tissue paper. Inside was an exquisite burnt gold dress. I touched the delicate fabric with reverence as I held it up to the mirror. It was strapless, and the top curved into cups to shape and lift. There was an intricate woven design on the bodice, and the skirt fell in a straight line from the waist to mid-thigh. Inside the box was another quote that caused tears to over flow again.

  I fumbled through my purse until I found a tissue. I was in desperate need of moral support, but there was no way I could confide in Alice. I had to tell Jackson and I had to tell him first. How fast would his supposed love change once that happened? I saw my phone at the bottom of my purse next to my keys. I snatched it up and dialed before I could change my mind.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, Adam. Thank God you answered the phone.”

  “Dozer?”

  “Yeah, it’s me,” I sniffed. “I’m sorry for the late notice, but I need a favor. Can you come out with me and some friends?”

  “Claire, are you okay? Are you crying?”

  “I have to tell Jackson tonight. You said to tell him, and you were right. I’ve just made things so much worse,” I sobbed.

  “Claire, I can’t believe you would drag things out like this. What were you thinking?”

  “Damn it, are you working or not?”

  “No,” he sighed. “I’m off, but I have a date.”

  “We’re going to some club downtown. It’s supposed to be the new hot spot. Bring your date—please, Adam. If you’re there, I won’t chicken out.” The silence on the line was excruciating. “Adam?”

  “Okay, Dozer. I can’t make you any promises, but I’ll see if Melissa wants to go.”

  “Thank you. You’re saving my life. Do you know where it’s at? I can get directions from Alice.”

  “Alice will be there?”

  “Yeah, she’s the reason we’re all going? Do you need directions? I don’t even know the name of the place.”

  “No, I know where it is. There’s not much to choose from.” There was a pause on the line. “Claire?”

  “Yes?”

  “Tell him.”

  “I’ll see you there. Bye.”

  THE SUV JACKSON hired sped toward an unfamiliar part of downtown. The tightly clustered buildings became more sparse and upscale. Finally we reached a busy area once again. Cars were scattered in a large parking lot. The old-fashioned street lights illuminated a beautiful New England style building. The only indication it was a night club was the faint throb of music that permeated the night.

  Alice couldn’t stop smiling. After ten years of only existing, unconscious in a bed, who could begrudge her the novelty of a night on the town? I should have seen this was what she needed. It was so like Jackson to do this for her. He had always been good at taking care of people, especially Alice.

  My nervousness was just as prevalent as Alice’s excitement. Tonight was the night; no more running. Afterwards, it was possible that both Jackson and Alice would hate me. I was determined to enjoy my last moment, much like a death row inmate endeavors to savor his last meal. It sucked, but I needed something to hold on to if this was really the end.

  I looked at Alice and tried my best to feign excitement as the driver opened the car door. We were standing in front of a private entrance at the back of the building.

  “Good evening Ms. Sinclair, Ms. Brown. Mr. Montgomery is expecting you,” said the attendant before opening the door and ushering us in.

  Inside, the music pulsed all around us. There was the option of going to a restroom on the left or up a short flight of stairs. The stairs led to a raised platform for a private seating area. Jackson sat at a large round table with two guys I’d never seen before.

  He stood to welcome us, and I swallowed hard, practically drooling at the sight of him. His broad shoulders were molded in a black button-down shirt, and his dark jeans were tucked into kick-ass motor cycle boots. His hair was spiked and sexy as hell. Jackson reached Alice first and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then he turned to me. In the near darkness, his turquoise eyes seemed to glow, searing right through me. Before I could move, his arms were wrapped around my waist, squeezing the breath out of me. Unable to stop myself, I hugged him back. Reveling in the feel of him pressed against me, I drank in the spicy smell of his cologne and the even more intoxicating scent that belonged only to Jackson.

  “You look beautiful,” he whispered in my ear.

  I tried to take a step back, but he grabbed both my hands to prevent me from getting away.

  “Well, you deserve the credit for that. This dress is amazing. You have good taste,” I said looking down at our joined hands, willing mine not to tremble.

  “Yes I do,” he replied smoothly.

  “Uhmm, thanks for including me tonight and for everything,” I finished looking into his eyes uncertainly. But what the hell was I supposed to say? Thanks for loving me. I hope you don’t completely hate my guts before the night is over.

  “The pleasure’s all mine, Claire.”

  Unable to break away from his stare, I watched, amazed as he lifted my hand to place a gentle kiss on my wrist
. A small shiver of pleasure tingled down my spine. Jackson continued, giving the same attention to my other wrist. And just like that, the rest of the world ceased to exist. The way he was looking at me, touching me, caused everything inside me to clench with longing. It made me remember how it felt to have his lips on me—everywhere—and I wanted to feel that again.

  “Champagne?” he asked.

  I blinked, trying to dilute the hypnotic power of his gaze. “Please,” I replied in a breathy whisper, not quite sure if I was begging for mercy or alcohol.

  I looked to the table, surprised to see Alice chatting easily with two Chuck Bass clones. High school flash backs had me dragging my feet. Shit, just like old times.

  “Claire!” My head jerked up to see CB#1 headed my way. “Thank God you’re finally here. Have some pity and put our boy out of his misery,” he said before folding me into a tight hug.

  Uh yeah, this was awkward. Not only because I was being crushed by a total stranger, but Jackson refused to let me go no matter how hard CB#1 pulled.

  “Take your hands off my girl, asshole,” Jackson warned.

  CB#1 took a step back and threw his hands in the air like he was being held at gunpoint. But, he continued to talk to me somehow unconcerned Jackson was fuming beside me. “I’m so glad you’re here. You have no idea,” he sighed dramatically while I held in my laughter.

  “Shut the hell up, fucker,” Jackson said over my shoulder.

  Unable to hold it any longer, we both giggled in delight, and I knew instantly I had just found a new friend. Never had I been so wrong about a first impression, and I couldn’t have been happier about it.

  “Oh no,” I begged. “Please tell me more about his misery.”

  CB#1’s mouth opened, but quickly snapped shut when he looked up at Jackson. Shaking his head from side to side, he reached in to give me another small squeeze.

  “We’ll talk later, Claire.” Then he made his way back to his seat.

  I looked back to see Jackson’s fingers combing through his hair. With a hand at the small of my back, he led me to the table and pulled out my chair, sitting between me and Alice.