False Perceptions

by Michelle Heard

  Before I can argue my point, he interrupts me. “Emilie, it’s our duty to protect you.”

  “I know,” I say, giving up on trying to make him understand what it meant to me.

  “That’s my opinion as a Navy SEAL,” Hayden continues. He reaches across the table, and taking my hand, he holds it in a tight grip. “Do you want my opinion as a man?”

  I nod as I swallow hard. Damn, Hayden’s intense.

  “My daughter knows I’d give my life for her in an instant. There’s no doubt about that. I’d do the same for any of my friends, and if I were married, my wife.”

  He’s not married. I didn’t even think to ask.

  “But that’s what makes you so special, Hayden. That’s what I admire about you.”

  “Emilie, it doesn’t make me special. My daughter’s fiancé would do the same. Okay, fine, Rhett knows I’d kill him anyway if something were to happen to Evie.”

  I laugh because I can actually see Hayden doing just that.

  “Your daughter’s name is Evie?” I ask, wanting to know more about him. “It sounds like you’re close.”

  He leans back in his chair, drinking some coffee.

  “We’re close. In many ways, we’re still getting to know each other. Josephine, Evie’s mom, died giving birth to Evie while I was away on tour.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I breathe. Hayden is no stranger to loss. Now I understand the hurt I see in his eyes.

  “It was a long time ago. I was nineteen back then. I got home from tour and found out that Josephine and Evie had died during childbirth.”

  “But…” I’m confused now.

  “Oh, Evie survived,” Hayden says when he notices that I’m confused. “One of the doctors tried to sell my daughter on the black market.”

  “Did you find her in time?” I ask, leaning forward. I hope he beat the shit out of that doctor.

  “No,” he says, and the flicker of pain on his face makes me want to hold him. “Evie found me a year ago. Up until then, I thought she was dead.”

  “Oh, my God, Hayden,” I breathe. I reach across the table and place my hand on his forearm. Just like before, he places his other hand on top of mine.

  It feels good. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed touching another person.

  “I’m just glad to have her back,” he says. A smile spreads over his face. “You know, she looks just like her mom. Wait, I have a photo.”

  I pull back when he takes his phone out and then he shows me a picture of a stunning woman. Unruly red curls frame the biggest green eyes I’ve ever seen.

  “She has your eyes,” I say as I look at Evie. “She’s beautiful, Hayden.”

  He swipes the screen, and it’s filled with a woman holding a baby.

  “Is that Josephine?” I ask, not seeing any resemblance to Evie. The woman in the photo has rich brown hair and gray eyes.

  “That’s Gabs, Mike’s widow, and their son, Michael.”

  Shocked, my eyes fly to his face before I take the phone from him.

  I stare at the woman and baby and emotion bubbles up in my throat. Mike’s widow and child.

  Hayden gets up and positioning one of the chairs right next to me, he sits down again. He doesn’t take his phone from my hands, but instead, swipes left.

  “That’s Max bragging about the nice meal Gabs made for him.”

  I drink in the sight of Max. “Hawk, right?” I ask to make sure.

  “Yeah,” Hayden says.

  There are scars on the left side of Max’s face. His hair is a few shades darker than mine, but it’s his brown eyes I can’t stop looking at.

  “He has the same fierce look in his eyes that you have,” I say.

  Max, it’s so nice to see you. Finally.

  “Do you have photos of the rest of your team?”

  “Yeah.” Hayden takes the phone, and I watch as he swipes until he finds one he wants to show me. “This was taken the day before our last mission. We were at Axel’s place.”

  Hayden leans closer to me and placing his arm behind me on the chair, I can feel the heat from his chest against the side of my body. His head tilts closer to mine, and he points each of them out.

  “That’s Mike. We always said he was too pretty to be a man.”

  “He is beautiful,” I agree as I look at a man who could easily have been related to Ian Somerhalder.

  “That’s Axel. Don’t be fooled by his looks. The man had the biggest heart.”

  “Buzzard.” He stands a head above the others. His brown hair is a mess as if he’s never brushed it a day in his life. A beard covers half his face, but I can see the life in his brown eyes. He loved life.

  A tear slips free, and I don’t bother to wipe it away.

  “That’s Dave.”

  Hayden doesn’t say anything about Dave, not like he did with the others, and it tells me how deep he feels the loss.

  “Falcon,” I say. “He has a mischievous look.”

  “Yeah, he never missed an opportunity to tease someone.”

  I stare at them as a team, grateful that I have faces, names, and stories to place with the men who saved me.

  “Will you send that photo to me? Please?”

  “Sure,” Hayden says, and then I watch as he sends it.

  “Thank you.” I’m going to have it printed and framed. I never want to forget them.

  CHAPTER 42

  HAYDEN

  It’s already midnight. I should let Emilie get some sleep, but I can’t make myself leave.

  “Can I ask you a question?” I’ve shared some of my life with her, hoping she will open up to me about her own.

  “Sure,” she says.

  “What’s the deal with your father?”

  She lets out a chuckle that sounds bitter. She gets up, grabs our mugs and starts to make more coffee. She definitely doesn’t like talking about herself.

  “How much do you know about me?” she asks.

  “The basics,” I answer, avoiding telling her that I know everything about her.

  “Do you know about my mom and sister?” she asks, staying busy with stirring the coffee.

  “Yeah.”

  She places our mugs on the table and sits next to me again. I’m pleased that she’s not trying to put distance between us. Since she found out who I am, she’s completely relaxed around me. She’s let her guard down.

  Thank fuck. It could’ve easily gone the other way.

  “Father changed after the accident. He threw himself into his career. Clare, my sister, was his favorite.”

  “And you?” I don’t understand how parents can have favorites. I’m going to love Michael the same as Evie, and Michael’s not even my son.

  She lets out another one of those bitter chuckles I really don’t like. “I’m the disappointment.”

  Her words make me grind my teeth, so I don’t disrespect Senator Swanson by saying what’s really on my mind. How the hell can a father let his daughter feel like a disappointment?

  “You don’t call him Dad?”

  “No way,” she lets out a huff of air. “Clare called him Daddy. After her passing, he asked me to call him Father because calling him Dad reminded him too much of Clare.”

  What an asshole.

  “So, you’re not close at all,” I state, which really has my mind working overtime. “Is there anyone Senator Swanson is close to?”

  “Donna.” She didn’t even hesitate. “She’s his PA. I think there’s more to their relationship, but I can’t be sure. I don’t see him enough to know what’s happening in his personal life.”

  Why didn’t they take Donna? That would’ve had him stepping down faster than taking the daughter he has no interest in. That’s what I would’ve done.

  I’ll ask Commander Foster to look into it for me. Something just doesn’t feel right.

  Wanting to lighten the conversation, I ask, “We’re done painting the outside of the house. What’s next on the list?”

  “Oh no,” she gasps.
She looks at me as if I just said something terrible. “You’re not doing one more thing around here. I can’t believe I had you painting my house.”

  I frown at her strong reaction. “Do you have a problem with me being here?”

  I’m confused as fuck. I thought Emilie liked me. I’ve never been wrong with reading people before.

  “Not at all. It’s just…” Her cheeks flush, and the realization hits me between the eyes. She’s embarrassed. Emilie’s gone and placed me on a fucking pedestal.

  When she doesn’t look at me, I place my finger under her chin and force her to look at me.

  “Don’t do that, Emilie. Don’t put me up on some pedestal.”

  She shakes her head, and I drop my hand to the table in front of her. Her eyes fill with tears which she tries to blink away.

  “I don’t have you on some pedestal, Hayden. I don’t know how to explain it.”

  “Try,” I say, needing to know how she sees me. If she’s given me some legendary status in her mind, I have a huge problem because that means I can shatter her world when she realizes I’m just a man.

  CHAPTER 43

  EMILIE

  I have a crush on you.

  Of course, I don’t say that. Instead, I blush like a damn teenager and stare at his hand.

  He has really nice hands.

  Golden tanned skin with veins. Damn, looking at Hayden is like watching porn. Really good porn.

  I clear my throat and try to yank my mind out of the gutter. I can’t go down that road. It only leads to broken promises.

  “You’re not just a man,” I say, and then I start to stumble over my words, “well… not just any kind of man. Trust me, the normal men out there are…” I stop myself before I go and label every man as a spineless pig.

  Hayden just watches me with those observant eyes which makes my skin tingle. No one has ever looked at me the way he does. As if he sees only me. As if the rest of the world has faded to nothing. As if there might be such a thing as love.

  No matter how hard I try to fight it, I’m falling for this man. Is it the confidence he wears like a second skin? The fierceness in his eyes? The brute strength in his body?

  Everything about him lures me in.

  “It’s you, Hayden. It’s the courage you have. It’s your selflessness,” I admit the truth to him. “None of the men I’ve known would’ve done for me what you did.”

  “Maybe it’s because you just haven’t met the right men?”

  I let out a burst of laughter, “That’s for sure.”

  “It’s almost two. I should let you get some sleep,” Hayden says, standing up. Picking up our mugs, he places them in the sink.

  I stand up and wonder if he would think I’m crazy if I hugged him. I just want to hold him and never let go.

  He turns and looks at me for a moment. “What?”

  “What do you mean what?” I ask.

  “It looks like you want to ask me something,” he says, chuckling.

  “Nothing escapes your attention,” I mutter under my breath.

  “So?” he asks, still smiling.

  Nervously, I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Can I give you a hug?”

  “That’s what you wanted to ask me?” he chuckles.

  “Yeah,” I say, moving the chairs under the table. “I know it’s stupid.”

  In desperate need of fresh air, I start to walk toward the back door when Hayden grabs hold of my wrist. My mouth dries right up when he comes to stand in front of me, the frown on his forehead making him look a million times more badass.

  “It’s not stupid,” he says as his arms move around me and he pulls me to his chest.

  My eyes close as I wrap my arms around his waist.

  I love and hate being in his arms. It’s the only time I feel safe, but it also means he has the power to hurt me.

  CHAPTER 44

  HAYDEN

  Thankfully Emilie didn’t put up a fight when I mentioned that we needed paint for the inside of the house.

  We’ve just placed our order with Gus and paid for our purchases. Emilie picks up a bag, and I quickly reach for it before she can walk away with it.

  “I’ll carry it,” I say when she looks at me questioningly.

  I grab the other two bags, and as I turn toward the door, I watch as a man walks in and stops the second he sees Emilie. He moves fast to hold the door open for her.

  “You come here often?” he asks Emilie.

  Seriously? That’s his come-on line? The guy’s a real piece of work, that’s for sure.

  “Oh, uhm… yeah,” Emilie says, not even looking at the guy’s face.

  “Hopefully I’ll see you around,” he tries again.

  “Yeah, sure,” Emilie mumbles, clearly uncomfortable. She heads for the door which he’s still holding open for her.

  Before the guy can close the door, I look him dead in the eyes and walk through. “Thanks.”

  Fucker. Hitting on Emilie right in front of me. The man has a death wish.

  “That guy just flirted with you,” I say as I place the bags in the back of the truck.

  “You think?” Emilie says, actually laughing as if I’ve just said something absurd. “I wouldn’t know what to do if a guy flirted with me.”

  I grab her hand before she can open the door, and moving right into her personal space I lean down until my lips brush over her jaw.

  I hear the catch of her breath, and it makes me smile as I whisper in her ear, “I beg to differ, ma’am.”

  When I pull back her mouth opens but no words come out.

  I lift my hand to her face and brush my knuckles over her cheek. “You’re a beautiful woman, Emilie. It’s time you own it.”

  “Okay,” she breathes.

  I open the door so she can climb in, when Horace says, “Gus, you missed Hayden putting the moves on Emilie.”

  “What? No?” Gus complains as he rushes to the door. “Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

  “Guys,” I say as I open my door, “You better get back inside before all the cold air rushes out. Have a great day.”

  I climb behind the wheel and glance over to Emilie. There’s a soft blush on her cheeks. She glances at me with a shy smile.

  She’s a loner like me. All she wants from this life is to be loved, to be wanted.

  Yeah, I’m going to show this woman what it’s like to be treated right.

  “How’s the new tongue? Tested it out yet?” I ask Max, teasing him about the eating pussy comment he made before surgery.

  “Get your mind out of the gutter,” he says, but I can hear the laughter in his voice. “It’s better. Still have pain some days, and it goes numb, but it’s there, right?”

  “Yeah, when are you going for a follow-up?”

  “Tomorrow,” he says.

  “You sound better,” I add, cause he does. He doesn’t grind his teeth anymore.

  “It’s getting there.”

  “How’re Gabs and Michael?” I ask, changing the subject because I know he hates talking about himself.

  “They’re good. Michael definitely got Mike’s lungs. Especially at two in the morning.”

  I chuckle. “You can always move back to your own place,” I say, knowing he won’t.

  “No way, Gabs is a great cook. I’m happy right here.”

  “Yeah, you sure that’s the only reason you’re staying there?” I ask.

  “She’s Mike’s widow. Don’t go there,” he growls, clearly in denial. Before I can question him some more, he asks, “How’re things up there?”

  “Good.” I keep the answer short. I need to talk to Commander Foster before I tell Max that I’m falling for Emilie. One hurdle at a time. “I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later. Give Gabs and Michael a hug from me.”

  “Will do, Brother.”

  I put the phone down on the floor and lie back on the couch. I seriously need to buy a bed. Sleeping like this is going to break my back.

  Maybe I should hold off on bu
ying a bed. With a little luck, Emilie might just warm up to me. I’m falling for her and definitely wouldn’t mind sharing her bed.

  I smile, thinking it’s been a long while since I’ve made time for a relationship, or maybe the right person just never came along until now.

  I stare into the darkness as my thoughts turn to the situation with Senator Swanson. My gut tells me he had something to do with Emilie’s kidnapping, but I don’t know how to prove it. I need to get my hands on solid evidence.

  Hearing something outside, I get up and pulling on a shirt, just in case it’s Emilie, I silently walk to the door. I’ve been wearing long sleeves so I won’t freak out Emilie with the scars on my arms.

  I open the door slowly, and looking outside, I see Emilie sitting at the top of the steps, her head resting against the railing.

  I walk out and sit down next to her.

  “Sorry, did I wake you?” she asks.

  “No, I just finished talking to Max.”

  Peanut comes to lie at the foot of the stairs.

  “Why aren’t you asleep?” I ask.

  She wraps her arms around her legs and rests her chin on her knees. Staring out into the darkness she asks, “Is it normal to have flashbacks?”

  “Yeah, but that’s why you go for counseling. Didn’t they teach you any coping mechanisms?”

  She shakes her head. “I didn’t go for counseling.”

  I’m not happy hearing that at all. How the fuck has she been coping so well without getting help? “Why?”

  “I was in such a hurry to get away from Father’s house and everything, I didn’t bother with it.”

  “I’ve learned some methods over the past few years. You want to try some? See if it helps?”

  She turns her head to me. “You don’t mind?”

  “Of course not. I’m not a professional, but I’ve been through the mill a couple of times.”

  “I bet,” she says. “So what do I do?”

  Let’s go inside, so you’re more comfortable,” I reply, and standing up, I hold my hand out to her.

  There’s no hesitation when she takes it and lets me lead her into the loft.