‘I’ll get the cases, Sir.’
‘Thanks,’ Dan replied, as he slid in beside me. I knotted my fingers in my lap feeling sick. After getting through the whole misunderstanding, his cover ups and deception, now we were ending it? I let out a startled cry as I felt myself being slid along the seat and lifted up onto his lap.
‘Don’t,’ I protested, as he wrapped his strong arms tightly around me and kissed the top of my head when I buried my face in his neck.
‘I hate that I’m making you so unhappy,’ he sighed.
‘You make me happy, except I … I can’t agree to give up something I want so badly,’ I whispered. I heard him sigh heavily again. And we remained silent as the car started and moved off from wherever the hell we were. I must have fallen asleep as I was suddenly aware of a breeze on my bare arms and opened my eyes to see Dan was carrying me to my front door. His front door. I wondered if this was weirder for me or for him.
‘You’re awake,’ he smiled as he looked down at me. ‘Do you have your key?’
‘You don’t have one?’
‘While you pay rent it’s your house not mine, Ellie. I don’t carry it on me since you moved in.’
‘It’s in my suitcase.’
‘Ok,’ he nodded and set me down on the floor then strode back to the car and I felt my stomach tighten as I watched his sexy backside moving in his black jeans. How the hell was I going to get over this man? He said something to James, rummaged in his bag and pocketed something, then strode back over carrying my case as effortlessly as he did the first day I met him, which started my tear production again. ‘Ellie,’ he groaned.
‘Sorry,’ I muttered, as I bent over and opened the side pocket I’d put my keys in. I tried to put the correct one in the lock, but my hands were shaking too much. He took them off me, opened the door and indicated for me to step inside as he picked up my case again, carried it inside and shut the door behind him. We stood in the open plan kitchen diner, awkwardly looking at each other, neither sure what to say. There wasn’t anything else we could say. We disagreed on a core part of a relationship. We were doomed from the start. I lay my case down, opened it and pulled out the box that held the diamond and emerald bracelet he’d given to me. It would be unfair to keep it now. I held it out to him, the contents rattling as my hands continued to shake.
‘What are you doing?’ he frowned.
‘I can’t … I can’t keep this now. It was beautiful but it’s too generous, especially now.’
‘It’s yours. I got it for you because the stones remind me of your eyes. Please don’t insult me by handing it back.’
‘I didn’t mean to insult you, it’s just such an expensive gift for a …’
‘A what?’
‘A girl you had a fling with,’ I choked as I wiped my eyes again. He stepped forward and took it off me, placing it back on my case before clasping my face and angling it up to his. I blinked as I saw the hurt look on his face.
‘You’re the woman I broke my vows for, Ellie. The woman who made me feel again, who made getting up every morning a pleasure, something that hadn’t happened in years. It’s a tiny symbol of how much you mean to me. The money’s inconsequential to a man like me. I want you to keep it, to see yourself as I see you. You’re as tough and as pure as those dazzling diamonds, those emeralds have nothing on your beauty and depth, and the platinum surround is the one of the most precious metals money can buy, yet it’s still not as precious as you are to me.’
‘Stop,’ I whimpered. Why was he making this harder?
‘There has to be a way we can work this out,’ he pleaded.
‘Only if you change your mind.’ I felt him sweep more tears off my cheekbones.
‘I can’t,’ he whispered.
‘Then I can’t. You’d rather lose me than consider what I want one day in the future?’
‘I’d rather lose you knowing you’re safe and alive, than lose you the way I lost Rebecca.’
‘But you don’t….’
‘Stop,’ he interrupted. ‘I’m a stubborn man, Ellie. I know myself too well and no one makes me change my mind, no one ever has.’
‘How am I supposed to get over you?’ I sobbed as my heart crumpled. ‘I love you.’
‘Ellie,’ he groaned as he took me by surprise, mashing his lips against mine forcefully as he backed me against the wall. I gasped and he took advantage of my open lips and plunged his tongue inside, teasing mine with such passion. Part of me wanted to push him away, part of me knew he was saying goodbye the only way he knew how, the only way he was able to express his feelings. Sexually. I grabbed his shoulders and when his hands moved to my backside I allowed him to lift me up onto his hips as I flicked off my high heels. Our kisses were increasing with such ferocity we were in danger of igniting each other. I clung to his neck, stroking the back of his hair as he widened his stance to hold me up on his hips while his hands deftly undid the zip on my jeans. Before I could even protest, his fingers were sliding down under the lace of my knickers to connect with my desperately aching clit. I moaned into his mouth and he grunted in return as he went to work, circling, pressing, pinching until I pulled my head back and screamed his name as I quaked on him. He pulled his fingers out and sucked them clean as I recovered, panting while his blazing eyes scorched mine as he moved to tug at the hem of my t-shirt. I automatically lifted my arms for him and his nostrils flared as he tore it away and saw my breasts wobble in their tight black lace casing. He swept his fingers inside the cups, freeing me and bent his head taking one of my painfully swollen nipples into his mouth as he sucked and nibbled.
‘Dan,’ I whimpered, as I kissed his neck over and over. The pleasure he gave me was so amazing, nothing was ever going to replicate it. I cried out again and he lifted his head to fix me with a hooded gaze. I’d never been eye fucked before now, and I felt myself flood at the thought of taking him inside me again. Whatever was happening after this moment I didn’t care. Right now I just wanted to savour every second of bliss. ‘Take off your shirt. Now,’ I ordered and registered the look of surprise on his face, but he complied immediately and I was straight on his throat, kissing and tugging at his skin between my teeth. I heard him doing that animalistic growling noise he did when he was turned on, and I reached down to undo his jeans and free him from his boxers. He was quivering and wet and groaned as I started to stroke him.
‘No, I need to bury myself in you. I need to feel your tight little cunt gripping my cock and squeezing it dry. I need to fuck you, Ellie.’
‘Please,’ I mewled, as he kissed me again while holding the back of my shoulders and started to move. I heard a crash and opened my eyes long enough so see he’d swept my bowl of fruit off the dining table onto the floor as he dropped me onto the solid oak and yanked my jeans and knickers off without hesitation.
‘I might hurt you, I’m seriously fucking hard.’
‘I don’t care,’ I uttered as I sat up, grabbed his neck and dragged him down on top of me kissing him again. He ploughed straight through me and I arched up towards him as my nerves screamed in pleasure and pain. ‘You’re … incredible,’ I groaned between frantic kisses as I felt the heat rising in me, that slow progression of tingling up my spine. By the time it reached my head I knew I’d stiffen and climax. He was too good, he made me come too fast. I didn’t want this to end. I never wanted this to end.
‘I’m there with you. God, Ellie. You’re close already, I can feel it.’
‘Don’t come, I need more,’ I demanded and heard him chuckle as he blew into my ear then kissed it making me shiver and cock my head.
‘You’re very bossy today, I like it. Tell me what I’m doing to you.’
‘Fucking me … extremely well. I’m so … close,’ I groaned. My body was way ahead of my brain as I exploded and jerked violently in his arms.
‘Damn it woman, you’re too responsive. If only I had time to teach you how to enjoy them even more.’
‘It doesn’t get … any bet
ter than that,’ I breathed.
‘I beg to differ,’ he advised, as he pulled out of me and quickly lifted me and placed me face down on the edge of the table. ‘Fuck, I so wanted to take this backside of yours. Do you have lubricant?’
‘No,’ I gasped as I clenched tightly. ‘If you think you’re going anywhere near there without forget it.’
‘I’d love to have known if it was anywhere near as good as this beautiful cunt of yours,’ he replied as he gripped my shoulders and rammed into me again. I wailed and gripped the edges of the table as he pounded into me, giving it his all. I could feel a sheen of perspiration clinging to my body. He leaned over me as he reached out and placed his hands over mine, his long fingers pushing mine apart to settle between them as the noise of his balls slapping against the back of my thighs, his panting, and my screams filled my ears. ‘Louder, scream louder for me, baby.’
Each thrust was starting to slide me up the table until I was right on the tips of my toes as his thickness slid in and out. My nerves were on fire as he rubbed against them and I felt myself stiffening again. Damn him, how did he make me come so fast? I was lucky if I came once during sex with Zac. He groaned and tensed up behind me as he heard and felt me come again. I could feel I was soaking, which certainly made his vigorous pace more comfortable. His lips swept back and forth across my cheek as I tried to catch my breath.
‘O shit,’ I sighed.
‘I’m not done with you yet, I’ll never be done with you,’ he murmured, as he slid out of me and gently turned me over.
‘You didn’t … come?’ I groaned as I melded with the oak below me and he shoved me up the table.
‘No and you have no idea how fucking hard it is holding back. Spread your legs for me. I need to taste you again, your scent is driving me insane,’ he growled. He pushed my thighs apart without me even assisting and dove in face first and sucked my clit back out from hiding as I raked the wood below me and moaned. ‘I could suck this all day, hear your moans and sighs, listening to you begging me not to stop.’
‘You’ll be hearing me beg in a moment if you don’t stop yammering,’ I teased, as I threw an arm over my face and groaned as he attacked me again, his tongue tracing the edges of my pulsating entrance, before flicking inside me, then slowly trailing up to gently lick my clit again until I really was begging for more. He put two fingers inside me and thrust them in and out as he sucked me to a series of short sharp powerful orgasms, then made me suck his fingers clean. ‘I want to taste you too,’ I sighed, as I tried to sit up to reach for him.
‘No, I need to come inside you.’
‘Please,’ I moaned.
‘Tell me this isn’t our last time and you can blow me,’ he offered, as he raised a questioning brow. My face fell as I looked at him sadly. He climbed up onto the table and gently slid into me, holding my hands up above my head as he made love to me, kissing me tenderly, but deeply. His groans, scent, warm skin and those gorgeous eyes stimulating each one of my senses and I started to cry. ‘I’m seriously drowning in you, Miss Baxter,’ he whispered as he kissed from the corner of my mouth up my cheek, trying to catch each of the drops. ‘How have you bewitched me so quickly? You’re all I can think about, all I want.’
‘I feel … the same,’ I whimpered, as I looked into his earnest eyes then cried out his name again as he angled himself deeper, raking over my g-spot with long gentle leisurely strokes, building me up slowly. He was trying to make it last, I knew he was and I started to fight my urge to come.
‘You can’t prevent this, Ellie. You’re powerless when I’m inside you. Your orgasms are under my control. You see how good it feels when I’m in charge? I could be in charge for the rest of your life, you’d never lack for sexual pleasure while you’re with me.’
‘I know,’ I moaned. ‘But I’ll lack in other areas.’
‘Have you ever had sex like this before?’
‘Never,’ I cried, as my toes cramped and I thrashed my head trying to stop it. I couldn’t come. The moment I came he would, and I’d have to watch him walk out of that door and out of my life.
‘You never will, I’m the best you’ll ever have. You know it. Can you honestly live knowing sex with anyone else will be just a function?’
‘I had orgasms before you,’ I protested, annoyed at his arrogance. ‘I’ll have them when you’re gone.’
‘Not like these, don’t lie to yourself. You can buy a thousand vibrators Ellie and none will fill you, stretch you and pleasure you as well as me.’
‘Sometimes I hate you,’ I moaned.
‘Stop lying. Admit it, you don’t want this to end, deep down you know I’m right for you.’
‘Yes,’ I whined, as I lost my battle to refrain from coming. My need for him was consuming me. I pulled my knees up thrusting against him even harder until my fourth orgasm of the night nearly killed me and he grunted and yelled my name as he pumped himself into me and more tears started flowing from my eyes. That was it, our last ever time. The high of my sexual peak was quickly replaced with feeling like I’d just been eviscerated. We were over. He pulled me up to sit on the edge of the table, still inside me as he clasped my face and kissed me again and again.
‘So don’t leave me,’ he whispered. ‘I feel like I only just started to live since you walked into my life.’
‘Dan,’ I sighed as I put my forehead on his.
‘No one will ever take better care of you, Ellie. I’ll protect you from pain and give you everything you ever needed.’
‘Except the two things I want most in the world,’ I whispered with a sniff. ‘Your heart and your baby.’
‘My heart?’ he questioned.
‘You only want me because of this ridiculous sexual attraction. I want a relationship where a man loves me as much as I love him. Where he feels my pain likes it his own, experiences my happiness and joys with me, makes me feel like his world starts and ends with me, just like I’d do for him. But most of all I want to have a child by the man I love, as proof of that love and bond between us. If you tell me that one day you’d like to be that man for me then I’ll stay with you.’ I looked up at him hopefully and he closed his eyes and exhaled.
‘God damn it, Ellie. You’re so fucking stubborn.’
‘Me?’ I gasped as he looked back at me with pain in his eyes. ‘I think you need to look up the word.’
‘I’ve lost too much, you’ve no idea what you’re asking of me,’ he sighed as he held my hips and slid out of me and I bit my lip as the loss of contact hit home.
‘I’ve lost too, but I’m not holding back like you are.’
‘We’re different,’ he advised, after a considered pause while he did up his jeans. I watched him stride over to where our tops had been flung on the floor. He shrugged on his shirt and brought my t-shirt over to me. ‘Arms,’ he barked. I lifted them and he tugged it down, smoothing it over my hips and looked down at me sadly. ‘I can’t believe you’re ending this, do you have any idea how much pain I’m in right now?’
‘You’re not exactly forthcoming with your feelings. I don’t even know if this is just sex to you.’
‘That’s unfair,’ he snapped. ‘Of course it’s not. It was never just about sex.’
‘Then what?’ I asked, as tears flowed freely and my cheeks wobbled. He clasped my face and kissed my forehead.
‘You’re my other half, Ellie. The yin to my yang, the light to my dark, the fire to my ice. You’re everything that makes me a better man. I wish I could be the man that you imagine I am, but I’m not, I never will be. I’d love to give you what you want, but I know myself too well. I can’t. You have to take my word for that.’
‘Then I want you to leave now,’ I ordered, as I pushed his hands away. ‘Stop prolonging this inevitable … I can’t even call it a break-up because we were never a damn couple were we? We need to say goodbye and go our separate ways.’
‘We can still see each other, stay friends at least?’ he uttered.
‘We
were never friends Dan, we never can be friends with this ridiculous lust we have for each other. If I can’t have you the way I want you, then I need you out of my life. I need to have a chance to get over you and I never will if you’re always calling in, falling into bed with me and leaving with an extra piece of my heart until there’s nothing left of it inside me.’ I slid off the table and walked to the front door and opened it. ‘I need you to leave, please, I can’t take anymore,’ I pleaded. He ran his hands through his messed up hair and blinked at me a few times before wiping his own face. He reached down into his jeans pocket and put a small box on the dining table and strode back over to me. I quickly hung my head, I couldn’t look at him again. I felt his arms go around me as he crushed me to his chest and I sobbed even harder.
‘I’ll stay away because I hate what I’m doing to you. I never wanted to make you keep crying over me, to cause you pain.’
‘I … know … that,’ I managed to let out between gasps for air that rattled my ribs.
‘Other than sex where there ever any happy moments with me?’ he asked quietly.
‘You’re stupid … as well as … stubborn, cocky and … arrogant,’ I sniffed.
‘I’m going to miss that quick mouth of yours. I’m going to miss you, so much you’ll never know,’ he sighed as he kissed my hair. I wriggled out of his grasp and he hissed as he looked at my tear soaked face and obviously puffy eyes.
‘Please,’ I moaned. I couldn’t take anymore. If he was leaving I needed him gone. He clasped my face and dipped his head, leaving millimetres between our lips.
‘One final kiss, don’t deny me,’ he whispered. I trembled as he stepped closer, pinning me to the wall as he took my mouth for the last time. Slowly, tenderly and leisurely. I flung my arms around his neck and responded. This was why I could never see him again. I was powerless when he touched me. I couldn’t go through this rollercoaster of ups and downs ever again. I wanted easy, I needed easy after Matt, then Zac and now Dan. In fact I needed to be alone. Hopefully one day I wouldn’t think of him every waking hour. He broke away leaving me dazed when we heard a cough.
31 Days of Summer (31 Days #2) Page 12
