To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1)

by Allie Palomino

  He looked up to the ceiling and roared. To Andie’s credit, she stood her ground and didn’t back up a pace, even after the rafters shook.

  “How dare ye question my love for my son, and my loyalty! Ye’re no one to question that. You doona even know me, McBride! Riley is the only person in this world that I love and the only person I’ll ever love. If I were any less of a mon, I’d strike ye down where ye stand for saying that. My son comes first before all. Ye arena even in the field of vision, as far as priorities are concerned. I will unseat Alistair for two reasons,” he said, holding up his index finger. “Yer father was an ally,” he said, and raised his middle finger alongside the other, “And my son was taken. As I’ve said, that alone Alistair will die for. No one takes what is mine,” he said fiercely and pounded his chest. The veins in his neck were protruding. “And ye’d do well to remember that insults doona go unavenged. Doona ye ever speak foully to me again, Andie. My patience is thin and I’ve never had any forgiveness to give.”

  “Ye are a heartless bastard, Gavin, and a mean son of a bitch,” she spat vehemently.

  “Aye, McBride, that I am, and ye’d do well to remember that and rid yerself of romantic notions.”

  “Consider them gone,” she growled lowly.

  They glared at each other another long moments before Gavin walked away in an uncontrollable rage. She sat down in the chair she had been sitting in before they had argued. She took a couple of calming breaths and resisted the urge to rub her stomach. She was getting minor cramping, but she just noticed that she had an audience. The last thing she needed was for her secret to be discovered. After taking a few minutes to calm herself, Andie took her leave and headed up to her chamber.

  She would stay there for three days.

  “Andie should be coming down any moment now,” Meghan said to the men at the table as they anxiously waited to eat their meals. “I finally convinced her to come down and sup.”

  Meghan felt that was an understatement. It took the work of the Lord himself, Meghan suspected, for Andie to agree to come down. She was still angry from her exchange of words with Gavin.

  For the moment, it was only Gabriel, Meghan, and Gavin seated together. Gavin thrummed his fingers on the table looking over to Gabriel, who was staring unwaveringly back at him.

  “What has ye so ill-humored today?” Gavin asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Hmpf,” Gavin said. “Where is she? Doesna she know that time grows late and my stomach is empty?”

  Gabriel’s annoyance grew and Gavin noticed it.

  “What?”

  “I heard about the fight ye two had. Ye had nay right to speak to her like that, Gavin.”

  “Me? Ye criticize me? She questioned my loyalty to my son, Gabriel,” he said fiercely.

  “Ye ask that she understand yer position, but ye refuse to understand hers. She’s alone, her family’s been murdered, and her clan has been taken over by a madmon who violates and abuses them. She is the laird of her clan and isna able to help them. She was nearly violated by the mon himself and she saved yer son. All of this at the age of ten and nine? ‘Tis a hard lot to deal with, doona ye think?”

  Gavin was quiet, thinking about Gabriel’s words. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know this, but hearing it again reminded him of all she had been through and the distress she was feeling. Truth be told, he had been feeling like a low-level bastard since their fight. He had said hateful things, and he hadn’t meant them at all.

  “Fine,” he simply said, wanting the subject to die. Gabriel still brooded at him, though.

  “What now?” Gavin asked, annoyed at Gabriel’s penetrating gaze.

  “Doona ye notice a difference in Andie?”

  “Well, other than being rude and consistently avoiding me the last few months, nay.”

  “Ye are avoiding her as well.”

  “That may be, but ‘tis a reaction to her avoidance of me. And now, due to the altercation three days ago, I will be sure to stay further away from her.”

  Gabriel was exasperated.

  “What else?”

  “What else, what?”

  “Anything else ye find different?”

  Gavin thought for a moment. “She doesna spend much time with others, save for Riley.”

  “What else?”

  Gavin scowled at Gabriel’s insistence. “Well, Gabriel, if ye insist I remark upon the same thing that led me to apologize to her, fine. She’s gained a noticeable amount of weight.”

  “And?”

  Gavin tilted his head to the side in annoyance. “What do ye want me to say Gabriel? Out with it, so that I may say what it is ye want to hear and we can move on.” Gavin said, his eyes glowing. Meghan sucked in her breath. Gabriel clasped her hand within his own and reassured her with a squeeze.

  “My apologies, Meghan. Doona be afraid. My eyes can never hide my emotions, especially nay my anger,” Gavin said and he noticed Meghan’s tension lifting. “What, Gabriel?”

  “Have ye noticed her tired?”

  “What little I see of her, yes.”

  “Does she sleep verra much?”

  “Gabriel, I just told ye I havena spoken to her much. I doona know what she spends her days doing or not doing,” Gavin said.

  Gabriel looked at his brother for a long moment.

  “Ye lie.”

  Gavin rushed to his feet and pounded on the table. Seeing Meghan’s eyes grow round, he muttered an apology and sat down again. The table was new. It replaced the destroyed one Gavin had broken during his argument with Andie. He needed to remember to stop slamming his hand down on it because this one was a fine table.

  “Fine, Gabriel, have it yer way. Yes. Yes to every question. Yes, she sleeps too much. Yes, she’s gained a considerable amount of weight. Yes, I’ve noticed her tired. Yes, she’s sad. Yes to it all. Yes, damn it, I’ve been concerned about her. What would ye have me do? She retches when I near her or when I speak to her. ‘Tis obvious I’m the last person she wants to see or speak to. Yes, I care damn it! And her contempt for me three days ago showed just how little she cares for me.” Gavin pounded on the table again and gave a curse. He needed to tie his hands behind his back. “Why do ye ask me these frustrating questions?” Gavin sat back down.

  Meghan secretly smiled to herself. She knew he’d cared for Andie all along.

  “Meghan, how do those symptoms relate to ye?” Gabriel asked.

  “‘Tis what I feel as well.”

  At Gavin’s continued blank stare, Gabriel realized he would have to spell it out to Gavin. “Andie is with child,” Gabriel said quietly.

  The room was so silent, dust could be heard forming. Gavin had not taken his eyes off Gabriel.

  “I doona believe I heard ye correctly, Gabriel. My ears are failing me. I thought I heard ye said that Andie was with child.”

  Gabriel returned his brother’s glowing stare. “She is.”

  Gavin jumped out of his chair so fast it was knocked back. His kilt swung at the knees as he ordered Gabriel and Meghan to stay seated there.

  Meghan and Gabriel just stared at each other. They smiled and remained where they were seated, having a delightful sip of water while they waited for the lightning to begin.

  Gavin climbed the stairs three at a time and determinedly marched towards Andie’s room. Without a word or knock, he barged in.

  Andie was struggling to put on the dress she had altered that day. She had taken the measurements three times to assure they were correct. She hadn’t unbuttoned the back, for fear that she wouldn’t be able to button herself up again. She stubbornly tried to haul the dress over her head and shoulders, and was having a rough time. The dress covered her head and she couldn’t see as she struggled to pull her arms through, when the door bashed open.

  Gavin stood their looking at Andie struggling to pull on the dress. The bodice was well above her head and prevented her from seeing.

  “Who’s there?” she shouted, hastily turning around, arms flappin
g in the air.

  What a sight, Gavin thought, grinning. Her arms were flailing above her covered head.

  “Who is it!” she demanded, aggravated.

  “Me,” he said, still grinning until his gaze moved to her swelling waistline. The smile vanished, replaced by scathing anger. His eyes glowed menacingly, and it was a shame, he thought, that she couldn’t see him.

  “Get OUT!” she screamed.

  “Nay! When were ye going to tell me, Andie!”

  “Tell ye! Tell ye about what, ye infuriating mon!”

  She kept grunting and groaning as her arms flailed in the air, trying to pull the dress on so that she could see him.

  “The bairn!” He thundered. He said it so loud, it reverberated throughout the castle. Meghan and Gabriel winced as they sat at the table, waiting.

  She was momentarily stunned; her suspended arms stilled. How did he find out? Meghan promised she wouldn’t say anything and she knew that Meghan would never break a promise.

  “Who is the father?” he asked fiercely.

  “Nay one!”

  “Andie!”

  “‘Tis none of yer concern.”

  “Andie!”

  “He wouldna believe me if I told him. He would deny that he is the father.”

  “Andie, tell me! I will force him to wed ye!” he shouted furiously. He wasn’t certain what he was furious about- that she was with child or that another man had touched her. The possessive Dark Wolf within him roared for revenge. How dare someone touch what belonged to him.

  “I canna tell ye. It doesna matter, Gavin,” she said, her heart thrumming loudly. Her voice was muffled behind the dress. She began flapping her arms again, “facing” Gavin as if she could see him.

  It was almost comical, seeing her stand there with her arms straight up in the air. At the moment, however, he was nowhere near laughing. He was more at the point of murdering the bastard who touched her.

  “Tell me!” he roared. His anger increased tenfold when he glanced at her very large belly. How far along was she, he wondered. She had hidden her condition well.

  “Nay!” she shouted back, thrashing her arms hurriedly, muttering to herself. Desperately she tried to get the dress on. She heard the slam of the door and his thunderous footsteps fade down the corridor.

  “Annoying mon,” she muttered, struggling with the dress. She proceeded to threaten the dress with shears if it didn’t glide on within the next moment.

  Gavin angrily took the stairs two at a time, and marched to his seat. He sat down, poured himself spirits and drank it, repeating it four times. Then he looked over to his brother and sister in law, and gave them a hard stare.

  “She willna tell me who the father is,” he whispered hoarsely.

  “Nay?” Gabriel said, in an irritatingly calm manner as if he were talking about the weather.

  “Nay!” Gavin said, pounding his fist. “She only says that the father willna believe that the bairn is his! I said I would force him to wed her.”

  Meghan almost spit out the water she was drinking.

  “What?” Gavin asked, looking directly at her then at Gabriel.

  “The father willna believe her. She is right,” Gabriel said.

  Gavin’s knuckled were white as he gripped the arms of the chair tightly. “Who is it, Gabriel? Tell me, or so help me I will pummel ye. I. Am. Not. Jesting,” Gavin said, threateningly, enunciating every syllable. The irises of his eyes were barely visible, they were so pale. His eyes glowed incandescently. Menacingly. Everything had stilled around them. Gabriel had never seen his brother so upset. In fact, Gabriel believed that Gavin would follow through on his threat.

  That said a lot.

  Gabriel knew that his brother loved him and the fact that he would fight Gabriel, told him that he had been replaced in Gavin’s heart by another.

  Andie.

  Gavin’s eyes were now pitch black. The pupil was not visible, as he waited for Gabriel to tell him who had touched Andie and fathered her bairn.

  Gavin didn’t know why he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know why his chest felt tight. He only knew that the thought of another touching Andie made him furious, mad, and enraged. He couldn’t envision Andie bearing another’s seed.

  His eyes glowed to pale silver again, the irises light in color.

  Gabriel looked at his brother, lifted his firm chin up, and squinted at him as if in thought. “He is the laird of a powerful clan.”

  Gavin’s head ominously tilted to the side. His jaw was clamped shut and a vein was throbbing in both his neck and forehead.

  “Give me the name, Gabriel. Doona give me cursed riddles,” Gavin demanded quietly. He’d said it so hushly and steadily, that the calmness of it was more threatening than his roar.

  “Gavin Maitland.”

  Gavin stared stupidly at Gabriel.

  “Ye are the father,” Gabriel said simply.

  Gavin stayed quiet for a moment, eyes glowing. Then he enunciated menacingly, “Ye expect me to believe that I am the father?”

  “Nay, and I said as much, as did Andie.”

  Gavin roared, stood up, and punched his hand down on the table. The table collapsed and everything fell to the floor. Again. Meghan quickly cupped her water before it fell.

  Gabriel looked to Meghan. If she was upset, he would pummel Gavin no matter how angry his brother was. Her reaction surprised him. Though she was a little shocked, she was trying hard not to smile. Obviously, Gavin’s reaction gave her hope.

  “Tell me the truth, Gabriel. Pardon for this information, Meghan, for ye are too much of a lady to hear this.” He looked pointedly at his brother and said, “It is not possible for that to have happened and ye know what I speak of.”

  Gabriel shrugged a shoulder, “Gavin, ‘tis best that Andie tell ye. ‘Tis nay my place,” Gabriel said calmly.

  “Nay? But ‘twas yer place to tell me of the bairn, wasna it?” Gavin hastily marched to the staircase, and again, took the stairs three at a time.

  Andie had unbuttoned the dress, against her good judgment. She’d heard Gavin downstairs and was hurrying to leave. Actually, she was hurrying to hide from him, she admitted to herself sheepishly.

  She had her arms up over her shoulders, bent backwards. Her elbows were parallel to her head, as she reached back to do the buttons. And here she thought she was clever by putting the little death-devices for an easier fit.

  “Damn this dress,” she mumbled. Then she proceeded to threaten the dress again. Her back was to the door when it slammed open a second time. She knew it was him before she even turned around. She groaned, rolled her eyes, and turned to see Gavin.

  “What?” she yelled, angry at him and at the dress.

  “Who is the father?” he demanded in a roar. “I will force him to marry ye!” he said again, choking on the words. How could he stand by and watch another wed her? He shook his head.

  “Ye canna force him, for he’s as stubborn as a mule! As stubborn as the day is long! He willna be forced!”

  He stood at the doorway, looking at her struggle to button the dress. His eyes glowed angrily, eerily.

  She stomped her foot on the ground in frustration, cursing, struggling with the buttons.

  “Ye are the father, Gavin! There! Are ye happy, ye damned stubborn oaf!” She was trying to reach back further to fish the buttons through the holes. Her arms were growing fatigued.

  “That’s impossible. Ye lie. Why would ye lie?” he asked. Though she knew those words were coming, it didn’t soften the blow, or numb the hurt that came.

  “It happened when ye were ill, Gavin. Ye werena careful.”

  He looked at her for a long, long moment, as she kept fussing with the buttons. She waited for more accusations.

  “Fine. Doona tell me. Seeing as how ye willna tell me the truth and since one of my clansmon is the father of the bairn ye carry, I will be forced to marry ye to one in my clan.”

  Andie’s heart thudded loudly. Dear Lord! What had she done
? She shouldn’t have said anything.

  “Nay, I willna marry anyone. I willna go willingly.”

  “Aye, ye will. Be ready in two days time, Andie. Ye will be wed.”

  He began to leave when she asked him, “Who will I be forced to wed?”

  He turned to her, eyes still glowing, but not as menacingly or as rapidly as before.

  “Me.”

  He closed the door and walked away. His departing footsteps were slower and lighter than those that accompanied his arrival. She gave up on the dress and sat on the edge of the bed.

  Dear Lord, what will she do?

  She cursed the fates. They were cruel. They had taken everything from her- her family, her clan, her home. They had taken away her happiness and sanity.

  Now, the fates had given her what she had most wanted, what she had dreamed of as a young girl- a marriage to a man she loved and his bairn.

  But they had not given her a vital component.

  The man’s love in return.

  Damn them to hell.

  “I heard,” Meghan said simply, not knocking before she entered Andie’s room. It was a little while after the dust had settled from Gavin’s temper, that Meghan came to see Andie. Meghan saw the dress on the floor with what appeared to be dirt in the form of footprints on it. Were those shears on the dress?

  Andie was looking out of her window, not bothering to answer. Meghan knew that Andie wouldn’t have high spirits after Gavin’s ‘romantic’ proposal. She knew Andie would want to make her own choices. Afterall, hadn’t her father allowed her sisters to choose the man they were going to marry? Meghan would make Andie see that it was best for all- the bairn would have its father and Andie would have the man she loved. As for Gavin, he would be marrying a wonderful woman whom he had feelings for- feelings he wasn’t yet willing to acknowledge.

  Aye, Andie would be sad because she was being forced to marry, but Meghan would make her see otherwise. She wouldn’t allow Andie to sulk or mope miserably around. Andie was probably going through a lot of emotions now- sadness, frustration, heartache, and maybe, just maybe, a little happiness in there somewhere.

  Meghan had not expected Andie to be, well, furious.