To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1)

by Allie Palomino

  She looked up at him then, ran a finger down his face, and he dipped his head down for a kiss. She sighed into his mouth. She broke away and studied him. Time seemed to stop during her long examination.

  “I love ye, Gavin,” she whispered fiercely.

  He felt power flow through him suddenly, and wondered at the odd feeling. Was this what love did to a mon? He tried to shake it off as he stared into her beautiful eyes.

  “And I love ye, Andie.”

  “Kiss me,” she demanded and smiled at his raised eyebrow.

  “Nay.”

  “Nay?” she asked in outrage. He laughed at her reaction.

  “I doona just want to kiss ye. I want to make love to my wife.”

  The possessiveness and promise in his voice made her skin tingle and body shiver. That night, they made love for the first time as husband and wife.

  Two weeks came and went as quickly as a summer storm shower. Andie and Meghan entertained themselves with a variety of activities. After they grew tired of sewing for the babies, they would take a walk, enjoying the sun and wind on their faces. Afterwards, they would go back to sewing clothes for the winter births. Andie also continued with her adventures of Erik. Meghan enjoyed chiming in here and there, with a bit of the story. All in all, the women were keeping themselves busy.

  The time came when Meghan and Gabriel left. It took a couple of days for Andie to get over her initial sadness. She realized her selfishness in not remembering that Meghan had a home with Gabriel. She realized also that they were not so far away from one another. With a promise to see each other again in a month, they embraced and said goodbye.

  Andie sensed something was amiss with Gavin. She noticed that when she approached him during the times he was talking to his men, it would almost seem as if the subject of the conversation was changed. She shrugged it off the first couple of times it happened, but a week after Meghan left, she blew up.

  Andie approached Gavin from behind slowly. The men he was talking to looked uncomfortably behind him, shifting their telling gazes back to Gavin. Gavin stood there with his arms crossed on his chest.

  “My wife is behind me, isna she?”

  “Yes,” she said, punctuating her affirmation with a pointed finger on his back, “she is.”

  Gavin sighed, looked up in quick prayer, and turned to face his angry wife. The men were wise enough not to snicker.

  “Is everything alright, Andie?”

  She gave him a pensive and doubtful stare. “No.”

  He grew worried. “Is it the bairn?”

  She placed her hands on her belly protectively, resting them there comfortably. “No. I would tell you if there was issue. I’m speaking of your hushed tones and change of conversations when I approach you.”

  He lifted an eyebrow and feigned innocence. She lifted hers in mockery.

  “I doona change the conversation or speak in hushed tones.” Gavin said distastefully. Her hazel eyes dripped with skepticism and her slippered toe made staccato noises on the stone floor.

  He wanted to take her upstairs and make love to her.

  “You have been speaking thusly for the last week.”

  He scoffed and shrugged his massive shoulders. “Nay, I havena.”

  “Aye, ye have. What do ye take me for, Gavin? A naïve mouse?”

  His men snickered and he looked over to them with a threatening glare. They elbowed one another in their abdomen and left the dueling couple alone.

  “Nay,” he said smoothly, walking over to her. He lifted his hands to place them around her waist and she stepped back, holding her hand out.

  “My attentions willna be diverted here. The truth, Gavin Maitland, or else.” Her slippered toe still thumped the floor delicately.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Or else what?”

  “Or else I will be making sleeping arrangements,” she said, not batting an eye.

  “I willna want ye to sleep away from me,” he mumbled.

  “The arrangements wouldna be for me,” she said smoothly.

  “I wouldna allow ye to,” he said, slowly growing annoyed.

  “Allow me?” she mimicked and laughed. “I am nay a child.”

  “Then doona act like one,” he said, raising his eyebrows in disapproval. He stood there solid, arms crossed on his chest and legs braced apart. He had the look of a strong, unyielding man until, that is, he saw her tears.

  “Andie, doona cry,” he said, immediately dropping his posture and moving towards her. “I didna mean to call ye a child.”

  When did he turn into such a milksop? Dear Lord, look what she’s done to the Dark Wolf.

  She stepped back. “Ye’re keeping something from me, and I doona like that.”

  Gavin sighed. “I’ll tell ye the truth, Andie, though I’ve nay been lying to ye.” He paused, looking at her. “I am making arrangements and taking measures to travel to the McArylls.”

  “No!” she said, angrily. “I doona want ye going there.”

  He shook his head, spreading his arms. “I must, sweeting. It’s been too long. Something’s nay right.”

  “Ye canna leave, Gavin! Ye aim to break my heart?” she whispered painfully.

  He walked towards her and hugged her close to him. “No,” he said into her hair. “I am laird, Andie. I have a responsibility to my men. I must see what is the matter- what is taking Liam so long to return?”

  She sniffed into his chest.

  “I thought ye wanted Alistair gone and yer clan at peace. Remember? ‘Tis the reason why ye first came to me. Had ye nay, we wouldna be married nor expecting a bairn.”

  That innocent observation troubled him greatly. What would have happened had she not traveled to him first? He would have never known the happiness, fulfillment, and love that he now knew with her. Nor would he have known the sheer aggravation! That thought made him smile.

  “If it hadna been for Riley, nay, I wouldna have come here. My father told me to go to Donald McKendrick.”

  “He did?” Gavin asked, not hiding his surprise.

  “Aye. My father said that he was best to go to, that ye wouldna take to a woman laird. He’d said ye’d grown bitter.” She didn’t bother to hide that truth from him. It sounded harsh to both of their ears.

  She felt Gavin laugh and heard the rumble in his chest. She looked up at him, but he shoved her head back down on his chest.

  “He was right, ye know. I was a verra bitter mon. He was right to tell ye to go to the McKendrick.”

  She was glad that he took no offense. “Ye arena bitter anymore.”

  “Nay. How could I be bitter with such a sweet wife by my side?” He hugged her tightly, exhaling.

  Andie smiled into his chest. She thought there was a note of sarcasm in his tone.

  “I still doona want ye to go.”

  “I know, but I must. Before meeting ye, ye know, I was the most feared and powerful laird of Scotland. Rumors described me as invincible, frightening, and deadly. I would add ruthless to that, too.” The grin on his face and the sparkle in his eyes made her heart skip beats.

  Her brows crinkled. “Ye said ‘was’ and not ‘are’. It sounds like ye are saying ye arena those things anymore.”

  “To others I still am. With ye, however, I’m nay.”

  The resigned look on his face made her smile. “What are ye then?”

  “I’m a damn milksop. Ye’ve made me into one.”

  Unable to hold her laughter back, she gave in. At first, he gave her a sour look but then caved in as well. The sound of her laughter warmed him through. He became serious after a moment.

  “Andie, ye’ve nothing to fear. I will be well. I will be back. Do ye understand?”

  She reluctantly nodded her head.

  “As soon as we’re able to end this feud between the McArylls and Kerrs, we can kill Alistair.”

  “When will ye leave?”

  “Within the fortnight. I need to leave ample men behind. I canna leave the castle without protection, especia
lly with my precious, adoring, expecting wife and my beloved son here. Then again, I must leave with a sufficient number.” Gavin sighed and rubbed his eyes. It was then that Andie saw the fatigue on his face. She rubbed his temples and he slowly opened his eyes to look at her. His eyes glowed faintly and she smiled.

  “What are ye smiling about? What’s with the rubbing?”

  Her smile broadened.

  “Yer eyes are beautiful.” She paused, rubbing some more. “And ye need a good rub,” she finished huskily.

  He smiled wickedly in response. “There are other things that could use a rub.”

  Her eyes sparkled. “What do you have in mind?”

  His grin was sexy. “Let me show you.”

  “He’s riding to the McArylls with a contingency of men. The battle wages too long and he questions his men’s lengthy absence,” he told the handsome blond man.

  “Damn it. I fast run out of methods to prolong the McAryll battle. I’ve yet to conquer these pitifully loyal people. Still they rage against me. Me! The true laird, their true laird.”

  The blond rose and looked out below through his window. Those clan members still rebelling against him were attacking his own men. “Doona they know I am the rightful laird? They prefer a woman? A woman? Well, I need more time to make them realize who is their rightful laird.” He turned to the man before him. “And you will give that to me.”

  “I doona see how I can, Alistair. The Dark Wolf grows restless. He’s eager for the McAryll battle to end. The whore pushed his hand to come to her clan’s aid. He wants to end the McAryll feud and come here. He wants to avenge her family and his son,” the man said.

  Alistair’s eyes narrowed and a muscle worked in his jaw. The patience he had left were fast becoming a memory. “His son!” he mimicked. “Delay!” he raged, slicing his hand through the air. “Find a way, I doona care how! Ye will or ye will find yer neck at the end of his blade.”

  The man nodded solemnly, wisely holding his own tongue and temper.

  “His wife…his wife…” Alistair said bitterly. “Why did ye nay prevent the wedding?”

  “There was no preventing it. She’s carrying his bastard.”

  “What?” he bellowed. Alistair marched over to the man and gripped his neck. “Ye lie.”

  The man shook his head, anger rising in his belly. “Nay, I doona.”

  Alistair hastily pushed him away, belting out a roar of fury. He felt the room circle around him. His breath became labored. He tried to clear his head. “She’s mine, damn it. How else am I to force these fools into submission? Once I have her wed to me, they’ll be forced to accept me for fear of her life!”

  The man stood by, watching Alistair rant and rave at himself. Suddenly, Alistair stopped and turned to him.

  “Fine, then. It willna matter. Once I kill the Dark Wolf,” he mocked, “I’ll have her wed to me. I’ll kill the damn bastard she bears. It wouldna do to have that thing around when I conquer the Maitlands. Especially since I’ve an heir already.”

  Alistair narrowed his eyes at the man standing in front of him, noticing for the first time the red anger on his face. He smiled. “Good. Ye’ve the sense to nay dare let yer anger control ye. Ye’d do well to maintain that around me, especially if ye seek to be my first in command. Now leave and delay the bastard. I’m nay prepared for him yet.”

  The man left Alistair, having been rudely dismissed. His fists clenched at his sides. If he hadn’t wanted to be first in command, he would have slain the bastard for his words.

  Looking around, he slowly slipped into the night.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “What the hell do ye mean? More men?” Two weeks had elapsed and the messenger came bearing bad news.

  The messenger nodded. “Yes, Laird. The Kerrs have many allies. These allies have sent more warriors to fight the McArylls.”

  “I didna believe they had so many allies. Do those allies know that I, along with the McKendrick, aid the McArylls?”

  The messenger shook his head. “I doona know, my laird. Perhaps they doona, for they wouldna be joining the battle in aid to the Kerrs if they knew ye were involved. No clan wishes to have ye as a foe.”

  “What else has Liam to report?” Gavin asked tightly.

  “The battle willna end soon. Yer men fare well, and ‘tis nay necessary to send more.”

  Gavin took a moment to size up the messenger, and asked, “Truly, how does the battle fare?”

  The messenger looked surprised at the question. “Laird, it isna so bad but for the damn interminable supply of warriors the Kerrs seem to have. Yer men fight mighty and fierce with barely any injuries. Liam was insistent that ye should nay go.”

  “Aye, he would be.” Gavin said nodding. “He is stubborn.” He walked over to the fireplace and stared at the flames while in thought. He turned back to the messenger, remembering he was still there. “Ye’re dismissed then. Go back and tell Liam he is to immediately notify me should he need additional men.”

  The messenger nodded and left, as Andie came downstairs.

  “Was that the messenger? It didna look like him,” she asked, a little confused.

  Gavin looked up, as if she brought him out of his thoughts and back into the room. “Aye.”

  “Well, let me stop him. I’ve a message for Meghan…” she said, turning.

  “Nay, Andie. He’s another I am using.”

  She smiled sheepishly. “‘Tis because Meghan and I use yers extensively, and now ye’ve given his service to me? How wonderful ye are.” She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest.

  He laughed. “I’ve nay choice, my love. ‘Twas either acquiring the services of another messenger or wait fortnights on end for Liam’s response.”

  She kissed his chest. “Why are ye so tense?” she asked, when she felt his tension. “What did the messenger say?”

  Gavin sighed. “The damn Kerrs. They have many allies with many warriors. The battle still wages.”

  She looked up at him. “Are yer men alright?”

  He passed his thumb over the side of her face, looking lovingly at her. He gave her a tender smile. “Ye’re so amazing, always caring about others when ye know what this means.”

  She brought her hand up to his face. “I know what this means. But what are we to do? It is all a strange coincidence- the Kerrs fighting the McArylls while Alistair wages his own battle against my clan. We must wait however long, Gavin, until we can oust Alistair.”

  Gavin looked at her thoughtfully, appreciating her perceptiveness. “Ye are so verra intelligent.”

  Andie smiled up at him. “Aye, husband. Verra intelligent. Doona ye be forgetting that.”

  He laughed. “And modest, aye?”

  “Aye, verra modest,” she said giving into her laughter. She sobered for a minute and asked him, “Why did ye rise in the middle of the night last eve?” She studied him closely.

  “What d’ye mean?” he asked, feigning ignorance.

  “I thought I heard ye rise. It was much before dawn. Were ye feeling ill?”

  His stomach clenched. Ill hadn’t been the word for it.

  “I grew thirsty, ‘tis all. I’m nay ill,” he said, smiling to ease her obvious worry. He placed his hand over her swollen belly. “Ye grow more each day,” he whispered with great emotion.

  She smiled gently at him, placing her own hand over his. “Aye, I do.” She gave him another once over and nodded. “As long as ye’re nay ill.”

  He kissed the top of her head, bringing her within his embrace. “Nay,” he said into her hair. “I’m nay ill, my love.”

  Just worried, he added silently.

  The air rushed out of him as he bolted up in bed. His brow was covered in sweat and his breath was labored. He looked down to his wife.

  Fortunately, she was blissfully unaware of his tormenting dream.

  He looked out of the window, noting the high moon. The night was half over and he found himself unable to sl
eep. He sighed in frustration, wiping the sweat from his brow. He rose, reached the tankard of ale, and downed a long drink. He walked over to the window, hoping for a breeze of the now cooling season. His hair whispered across his forehead, giving him the air he desired. He rested his arm high upon the window’s edge and leaned on it. Though the guards on post below marched their protective beat, he saw none now. His eyes registered the lit night thanks to the high full moon, but his mind was far away.

  Gavin remembered the dream. He felt his heart rate speed in reaction. He felt his body tense. He rolled his shoulders and neck.

  These dreams had to stop.

  Gavin turned back to the bed and looked at his beautiful wife. He shook his head. He was being fanciful and paranoid. Damn, so this was what it was like to love your wife- to want to protect her from harm, to want to give yer life for hers.

  He slid next to Andie and brought her close to him. He wouldn’t be able to sleep so he just enjoyed holding her close.

  He tried to think about anything but the dream.

  A month later, Gabriel came for a brief visit. A disappointed, but worried Andie, was told that Meghan felt ill that day and didn’t feel well enough to travel.

  “Is she alright?” she asked nervously.

  “She’s fine, Andie. ‘Tis just that her stomach is rejecting food. I’ve been assured by my healer that ‘tis normal.”

  Andie sighed, pursing her lips. “Please tell her to take care. We’ve these babies to have and they will be the best of friends like she and I.”

  Gabriel smiled. “Doona worry. Bryce fairly trips over her requests and he willna leave her side when I am gone.”

  Andie nodded, and left the men to their conversation.

  Gabriel eyed his brother curiously. “So what has ye so tense and worried?” Gavin looked up to his brother in surprise. “Doona bother to deny it. I saw yer eyes when Andie walked in and left. I see the tension in yer body, nay to mention the tired eyes.”

  Gavin snorted. “Ye sound like a woman.”

  “But I’m nay wrong.” Gavin laughed and Gabriel joined in. “So what is amiss?”