Trusting Tomorrow

by P. J. Trebelhorn

  “Yes, they can. He’s Lucy’s biological father. I think this is what they wanted all along. She couldn’t have children.” Wendy gripped Brooke’s wrist. That was when Brooke saw the nasty cut which wasn’t quite healed.

  “Jesus, Wendy, what is this?” Brooke ran her index finger across the angry red gash. There’d been stitches, and it looked as though they’d been removed recently. “Did you try to kill yourself?”

  “I was depressed after Lucy was born. I didn’t know what I was doing. They’ve latched on to it and are using it to say I’m an unfit mother. The logical choice would be to give custody to the father.”

  Brooke stared at her in disbelief. The woman lied about everything. When they were together, it had been so easy to have the wool pulled over her eyes so to speak. It was easier to believe her than to argue. Not now. Now Brooke saw through everything. She wasn’t completely heartless, and a part of her wanted to comfort Wendy. Brooke couldn’t understand how anything could push a person to try to commit suicide. But she also knew Wendy didn’t really want her back. It was simply a way for her to try to manipulate Brooke’s feelings. She refused to allow Wendy to get under her skin again.

  “Why did you come here and say you wanted me back? I know as well as you do you only want me to help you out of the shit pile you got yourself into. I can’t do it, Wendy. I won’t let you drag me into your mess. I have a life here. I was through with you before I moved up here, and I’m through with you now. So if your intention was for me to help you get your baby back, you’re out of luck.”

  “But you know me better than anyone else, Brooke. You can help to convince the judge Lucy belongs with her mother.”

  Brooke stared at her for a moment before getting up and walking away, ignoring Wendy’s pleas for her to reconsider. Not only had her heart healed from Wendy’s betrayal, but she’d also given it to someone else. Someone who was waiting for her.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Logan took the steps two at a time. She’d started out to get bagels and cream cheese, but once she was in the store, she had the overwhelming desire to cook for Brooke. It was a frightening notion, but she’d bought eggs, bacon, bread to make toast, and pancake mix with maple syrup in case Brooke preferred it to eggs. She just hoped she wouldn’t set the damn place on fire in the process.

  The smile she knew had been plastered all over her face since the moment she’d awakened earlier faded away when she entered the bedroom and saw the note on her pillow. She sat on the edge of the bed and unfolded the note, trying to ignore the rising dread she felt in her chest.

  Logan,

  I’m so sorry I had to leave. Last night was amazing.

  I’ll cherish it always.

  Brooke

  Logan stared at the note for what seemed like an eternity before ripping it up and tossing it in the wastebasket.

  “I’ll cherish it always? What the hell is that?” She flopped onto her back and covered her eyes with her hands. It sounded like a note she’d leave for one of her one-night stands. It stung. No, it pierced her heart. She knew a brush-off when she heard it, or read it, as the case may be. “God, I’m a fool. I need to stick with women in the bars from now on. I’ve never fallen in love with any of them.”

  Admitting it out loud, even to herself, caused a pain in her chest so acute she worried for a moment she might be having a heart attack. She was really in love. There was no way around it. Brooke had come to town and, from the very first moment they’d met, had begun embedding herself in Logan’s life. Even worse, she was in her head. And now her scent, her taste, her laugh, was in her head too.

  Damn it, she hadn’t wanted this to happen. In fact, she’d spent years perfecting the art of avoiding everything she thought might lead to anything more involved than a night or two with a woman. How could she have been so fucking stupid?

  Then another thought entered her mind. Brooke had come to Oakville to help Peggy take care of her grandfather. He was gone now. Was Brooke going to pack up and move back to Philadelphia? Logan didn’t think she could stand it if Brooke left now. Damn it, I don’t even want to be in love.

  She raked her fingers through her hair and closed her eyes when the truth hit her right in the gut. Before she met Brooke, she really hadn’t wanted to be in love. She’d carved out a nice quiet little life for herself. Then Brooke showed up on her doorstep and turned everything upside down. Now she couldn’t imagine not loving her. And that particular thought hurt her heart more than she’d ever thought possible, because Brooke obviously didn’t feel the same way about her. If she did, she’d still be there. She wouldn’t have left a note on the pillow. She wouldn’t have yanked Logan’s heart out of her chest and trampled all over it on her way out the door.

  She needed to get out of there. She stood quickly and grabbed her keys before running outside to her car again. Maybe Jack could help her come to her senses.

  *

  Brooke walked outside in time to see Logan getting back into her car. She wanted to call out to her, but Wendy was right on her heels, still begging her to help get her child back. She watched powerlessly as Logan turned the corner without ever taking her eyes off the road. She’d appeared angry, but why? Brooke had left a note, which was more than Logan had bothered to do.

  “Damn it, now I’ll have to walk home.”

  “I can give you a ride,” Wendy said as she grabbed her arm, her grip incredibly strong.

  Brooke pulled away with more force than she should have, and Wendy ended up on her ass. She started crying and Brooke felt like a heartless jerk. She helped Wendy back to her feet and was surprised when Wendy’s arms went around her neck. Brooke held her for a moment, not knowing what to say. It was an uncomfortable situation, but she listened to Wendy’s sobs without saying a word.

  “Please let me give you a ride home. I’m sorry I bothered you. I should have known it was futile asking you for help.”

  “What kind of help did you expect?” Brooke mentally kicked herself for asking and implicitly agreeing to the ride home.

  “Just to talk to my lawyer. Then he would determine if your testimony could help my case.”

  “Honestly, Wendy, there’s nothing I could say to your lawyer that would help your case. I’m not sure Lucy would be better off with you.”

  Brooke watched while Wendy wiped her tears away and opened the door for her. Brooke knew her statement couldn’t have surprised Wendy. She’d said as much when she’d first found out she was pregnant. When she first began to realize she really didn’t want Wendy back.

  She got into Wendy’s car and they drove the couple of miles to her grandmother’s house in silence except for the directions Brooke gave her. They sat in the car for a few minutes, Brooke wanting nothing more than to say good-bye and run to Logan. Her car was parked on the other side of the street, but apparently, she was inside already. It was just as well. Brooke didn’t want Wendy to meet Logan. More accurately, she didn’t want Logan meeting Wendy. For some reason, the idea of Logan seeing what a loser she’d wasted three years of her life with wasn’t appealing.

  “Can I please have my lawyer call you?” Wendy asked when Brooke reached for the door handle. “All you’d need to do is tell him I’m not a threat to myself or Lucy. Just tell him about the three years we were together.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Wendy.” Brooke knew if the lawyer called she’d have to tell him how manipulative Wendy was, not only when they were together, but even now. How she lied about so many things. How she cheated on her and left her for the situation she was now fighting to get away from. They both jumped when there was a rapid knocking on the driver’s side window.

  Instead of opening the window, Wendy got out of the car. Brooke did the same a second later and ran around the front of the car when she saw Marlene pushing Wendy with a hand firmly to her shoulder.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” Marlene asked, looking every bit the mother trying to protect her young. That was when she not
iced Brooke, who was trying to get between the two of them. “This better not be what it looks like.”

  “It’s not.”

  “Then you need to start explaining, because all I know is you stayed out all night, and then you come driving up with this piece of shit,” Marlene said with a wave in Wendy’s direction and a disgusted look on her face. “And Logan arrived here alone a couple of minutes ago.”

  “Where is she?” Brooke glanced at Wendy who, to her credit, was trying to step back from Marlene.

  “Inside with Jack I would imagine. She came to the door asking about you, but when I told her I hadn’t seen or heard from you since the two of you left last night, she went right next door without telling me what happened.”

  “I need to see her.” Brooke started toward the door to Logan’s house, but Wendy stopped her.

  “Brooke, I really am sorry for everything. Please reconsider letting my lawyer contact you.”

  “I said no, Wendy. I really don’t think anything I could say to him would help your case.” Brooke responded over her shoulder, determined to literally put Wendy behind her. Logan opened the door before Brooke could even raise her hand to knock. She saw the hurt in her eyes and Brooke’s fingers twitched with the need to pull her into an embrace.

  “Who is that?” Logan asked before Brooke could even think to act on her impulse.

  Brooke followed her line of sight to Wendy, who was still standing outside her car watching them. Marlene was still giving Wendy a piece of her mind, but Wendy obviously wasn’t paying any attention to her.

  “Wendy.”

  “Wendy?” Logan looked confused for a moment but her expression quickly turned hard again. “As in your ex? That Wendy?”

  “Yes, she called me this morning and wanted to see me.”

  Brooke flinched at the flash of anger in Logan’s eyes as she redirected her gaze to her. Brooke reached for her then, but Logan stepped back quickly.

  “So you ran right out to meet with her?” The hurt in Logan’s eyes was enough to cause a sharp pain in Brooke’s chest.

  “What? No.” Brooke shook her head and tried to touch Logan’s arm again, but she pulled away from her. “Logan, I woke up and you were gone. I didn’t know where you went, or when you’d be back—even if you’d be back. I was only across the street in the diner. You came home but left again before I could get back over there.”

  “Your note didn’t indicate you’d be coming back, Brooke. It was a good-bye, I know that. Are you getting back together with her?”

  Brooke stared at her in disbelief. What the hell was going on here? A good-bye? Was she crazy? It had been the most mind-blowing sex she’d ever experienced in her life, and she was pretty sure it had been for Logan as well. Who in their right mind would ever want to say good-bye to that?

  “Hello,” Brooke said. She reached up and knocked a couple of times on the side of Logan’s head. Logan looked pissed and took another step back. “In case you’ve forgotten, I live right next door. Good-bye could never be said in a note, Logan.”

  “She did it,” Logan said with a pointed look at Wendy, who was still being given a stern lecture by Marlene.

  “I’m not her,” Brooke said, feeling her anger begin to rise as well. Did she really think Brooke had forgotten how the end of her relationship had gone? “And I know you aren’t her either. Please sit down and talk to me, Logan. I need to say something to you.”

  “I need to get the fuck out of here,” Logan said as she grabbed a coat hanging behind the door and put it on before locking gazes with Wendy. She pushed her way past Brooke. She intended to storm past Wendy too, but Wendy never broke eye contact with her. Logan stopped and leaned down so only Wendy could hear what she said. “If you ever hurt her again, you’ll have to answer to me. Understood?”

  Wendy nodded and swallowed audibly before Logan turned and crossed the street. She looked up to the porch and saw Brooke standing there with tears in her eyes before she started the engine and took off. She couldn’t think about Brooke being hurt by anything she’d said. Didn’t Brooke realize how wounded Logan was by the turn the morning’s events had taken?

  Logan drove without even thinking about where she was headed. She finally ended up in a place she’d often gone to think out her problems after her mother died. They’d spent many Sundays as a family at Presque Isle National Park, and it gave her some peace to think her parents might be there with her now. She looked out over the bay to where she could see the Bicentennial Tower in the distance and took a deep breath.

  She’d really had no right to react the way she did. Hadn’t she known all along Brooke was in love with Wendy? Still, it hurt her heart in a way nothing else ever had before. When it came down to it, even though Brooke had said she didn’t do casual, Logan had been exactly that when Brooke’s ex had shown up. She thought about the women she’d been with and winced. If this was what they felt, she really was a shit. She’d bought a bottle of wine when she’d gone to Riverside that morning, hoping she and Brooke might share it later in the day. It was the reason she’d taken so long to get back home. She’d waited for the liquor store to open. She grabbed the wine along with the corkscrew she’d purchased and headed to the end of the pier. She opened the bottle and sat down, her legs crossed in front of her, and took a drink.

  Maybe by the time she finished the bottle she wouldn’t care anymore. About anything.

  *

  “Jack, you have to have some idea where she went.” Brooke entered the house without knocking. She’d had more than she could handle with Wendy, but she’d finally convinced her she wasn’t going to help and sent her on her way. Hopefully, she was done with her for good. Brooke wasn’t about to let Jack give her the cold shoulder too.

  “She told me about the note you left her this morning.”

  “Okay,” she said slowly. She didn’t have the time to be embarrassed that he no doubt knew what they’d spent most of the night doing. It really didn’t surprise her to learn Logan had shared the note with him. “Why did she think I was saying good-bye in the note?”

  “You’re a piece of work, aren’t you?” Jack stood and walked over to her, forcing her to tilt her head back in order to keep eye contact. She found herself feeling grateful Logan wasn’t as tall as her brother. “Last night was amazing. I’ll cherish it always. Seriously? If that isn’t a brush-off then I don’t know what is.”

  “Jesus,” Brooke murmured under her breath as she realized how the words must have sounded to Logan. “Jack, I didn’t mean it like that at all, I swear. I meant that…well, that I’ll always cherish our first time together. Not that it was our last.”

  “You should be telling her, not me.”

  “Believe me, I would be if I had any freaking clue where she was right now.” Brooke wanted to punch something, an urge which was totally foreign to her. Instinctively, she knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to take her frustrations out on a man who was more than twice her size. Instead, she walked to the couch and sat down. “Please help me find her. Do you have any idea where she might be?”

  “Maybe.” He sat on the coffee table facing her, his eyes never leaving hers. “Tell me why you left the way you did this morning. She only went to the grocery store to get something to cook for you for breakfast. You have no idea what a big deal that is for her.”

  Brooke told him everything from the moment she’d been awakened by her phone until she’d ended up on the couch there with him. When she was done she waited for him to reply, but he just shook his head.

  “So you really weren’t giving her the brush-off?”

  “God, no.”

  “Then why didn’t you say call me, or something that may have been equally indicative of how you felt about the night you shared? Something that made it clear you wanted to see her again?”

  “It was a freaking note! I wrote the first thing I thought of. I thought she’d know how I felt about the night we shared.” Brooke had never been so frustrated in her life. She star
ed at her feet for a moment and couldn’t believe she was actually going to tell him before she had a chance to talk to Logan, but it was the only way she could think of to get him to help her find her. She took a deep breath. “I love her, Jack. I love her, and I need to tell her that because she thinks I’m going back to Wendy, and believe me, that’s the last thing I want to do. Please help me.”

  Jack got up and left the room without a word. Brooke dropped her head into her hands and sobbed. Jesus, was it really over with Logan before it truly began? She couldn’t stand the thought Logan was out there somewhere in pain because of something she’d done. How could Logan not know what she was feeling after the things they’d shared the night before? Why hadn’t she just told her she loved her? When Jack didn’t come right back, she walked slowly toward the front door, assuming he wasn’t going to help her. Just before she opened the door, he walked back in.

  “Where are you going? I wrote down directions for where I think she probably is. I tried calling her, but she isn’t answering her cell phone. You should try too.”

  “I did before I came inside. I know she won’t answer a call from me right now.” Brooke took the piece of paper he was holding out to her and then hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Jack. If you hear from her, please call me.”

  “I will. And if she comes back I’ll tie her to a kitchen chair and keep her here.”

  “Thank you.” She got up on her tiptoes and pulled him down so she could kiss him on the cheek. “Cynthia is a lucky woman to have found someone like you, Jack Swift.”

  She ran out the door and got into her car, dialing her grandmother’s number as she went so she could let Marlene know where she was going. As she put the car in gear, she glanced at the directions Jack had given her.

  Presque Isle? She’d never heard of it. She stepped on the gas and cursed the fact she’d never bothered to invest in a GPS.