Becoming Us

by Allie Everhart

  “I’m just supposed to tell him to come talk to me? A guy he just met?”

  “Make up an excuse. Go wait in line at the bathroom together.” I point at the park shelter where the bathrooms are located. There’s a line of guys standing on one side and girls on the other.

  “Seriously, Jade? Guys do not go to the bathroom together.”

  “Then I’ll take Sara aside and you can stay behind with Alex.”

  “And what exactly am I supposed to ask him?”

  “Ask him what he thinks of Sara. If he thinks she’s cute. Stuff like that.”

  “I’m not a 12-year-old girl, Jade. There’s no way in hell I’m asking him that.”

  I smile and give him a kiss. “I love you, but you’re not being very helpful. Let’s go say hi before the movie starts.”

  Sara stands up as we walk toward her. “Hey, you made it.”

  “Yeah, we just got here.” I turn to Alex, who’s standing next to Sara. “Hi, I’m Jade. And this is Garret.”

  “Hi, I’m Alex.” He shakes our hands.

  He looks like she described; average height, dark hair, stubble on his face. He’s thin and not very muscular. He’s not my type, but from the way Sara’s staring at him, I can tell she’s attracted to him. She said he wears glasses, but he doesn’t have them on tonight. He’s wearing shorts and one of those vintage wash t-shirts in a light blue color.

  Sara’s wearing a red tank top and jeans. She’s so short and small I bet she has to shop in the girls’ department to find clothes that fit.

  Caleb is sitting on a blanket, lost in his own little world, playing with his teething ring. He has more hair now than he did a few weeks ago but Sara can’t make it stick down to his head. It’s so thin it attracts static and sticks up all over the place. She’s got him dressed in a white t-shirt and navy sweatpants. She has almost no money so she buys all his clothes at thrift stores or gets them for free at church giveaways.

  The four of us talk for a few minutes and then Alex says, “You guys should grab the spot next to us before someone takes it.”

  “That’s okay,” I tell him. “We already set our stuff up over there.”

  Sara picks up her water bottle. “I’m going to go fill this.”

  “I’ll go with you.” I follow her, turning back to Garret and mouthing ‘ask him’ as we walk away. He gives me an eye roll and I laugh.

  “How’s it going so far?” I ask Sara.

  “Great. We got here early and had a picnic. Alex played with Caleb a little so at least I know he’s not totally freaked out by babies. He said he has tons of nephews and nieces so he’s used to being around kids.” She fills her water bottle at the drinking fountain.

  “Do you want me to take Caleb so you guys can talk a little before the movie starts?”

  “You don’t have to. Caleb hasn’t been fussy so Alex and I have been able to talk.”

  “Can I just borrow him for a few minutes? I need more baby experience.”

  She laughs. “You can borrow him whenever you want as long as you give him back.”

  When we meet up with Garret and Alex again, they’re talking about sports. They seem to be getting along.

  I pick Caleb up. “Sara’s letting us borrow Caleb for a few minutes,” I say to Garret.

  “Practicing for when you have your own?” Alex jokes.

  I smile. “Yeah, something like that.”

  “Take this in case you need anything.” Sara hands Garret the diaper bag.

  Garret and I go back to our spot. “That was so obvious, Jade. You need to work on your matchmaking skills.”

  “It wasn’t obvious. I want to play with Caleb.” I set him down on the sleeping bag.

  “Alex knew you were trying to give them alone time. Guys aren’t that stupid.”

  “He didn’t seem to mind.” I glance over at them. “And look how close they’re sitting now. That was all my doing.”

  When I look back at Garret, he’s holding Caleb on his lap. “You see that girl over there?” He points to me. “Never take her dating advice. You want advice on the ladies, you come to me.”

  “Hey!” I pick up Caleb’s tiny hand. “Don’t listen to him. I have good advice. If you ask Garret, he’ll tell you to spray girls with air freshener, which you should never do by the way.”

  Caleb yawns really wide.

  “I think we’re boring him, Garret.”

  “He’s just tired. You want to hold him?”

  “No, you hold him.”

  Garret bounces Caleb and he starts that giggling and drooling thing he did when he was at our house. He’s so adorable. And Garret is such a natural at this baby thing.

  The movie starts playing on a giant inflatable screen. I look around and notice white lights are strung around some of the trees. The park is more crowded now with a mix of couples and families.

  Garret turns to face the screen and I move next to him and lean my head on his shoulder. Caleb is still on Garret’s lap, gnawing on his teething ring. For a moment, I imagine Caleb is our baby and I get this overwhelming feeling that I want that. I’ve had this feeling before but I always fight it, telling myself I can’t have what I really want. But tonight I’m not fighting it. I’m letting myself feel it. And it feels really good.

  Ten minutes into the movie, Sara comes over. “I can take him now so you two can watch the movie.”

  “I’m not done with him yet,” I tell her. “Can we borrow him a little longer?”

  “Sure. Come get me if you need me.” She goes back over to Alex.

  Garret sets Caleb in my lap. “I’m getting a soda. You want anything?”

  “I’ll take a water.” Caleb’s squirming as I try to hold on to him.

  Garret sets the bottle of water next to me, then cracks open his can of Coke. The fizzing sound diverts Caleb’s attention back to Garret and he reaches for him.

  “Garret, I think he wants to sit with you. Can you take him back?”

  “Nope.” He sips his soda. “It’s your turn. And you need the practice.”

  “I do? For what?” I give Caleb one of his toys, distracting him from Garret.

  “For when we have kids. I can’t hold them all the time, Jade. I have things to do and it’s tiring on the arms.”

  “So now we’re having kids?”

  “You never know when the stork might drop one on your door. You gotta be prepared.”

  “The stork?” I laugh. “Garret, do we need to have the talk about where babies come from?”

  He takes a drink of his soda. “I told Lilly about the stork and she believed me. Every time she saw one of those big white cranes, she thought it had just dropped off a baby at someone’s house.”

  “Now that she’s in school, some kid probably told her the truth.”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  “So how many kids do you think the stork’s going to bring us?”

  “I ordered three of them. Shipping and handling costs a fortune so get prepared to write a big check.”

  “I hope he doesn’t bring them all at once.”

  “Yeah, that would suck. Although it would save on the shipping and handling costs since he’d only have to make one trip.”

  “I didn’t know he took orders. I thought he just dropped them off.”

  “Sometimes he does, like when he surprised Sara with Caleb. But he also takes orders.”

  Caleb starts to fuss and cry a little. “You better take him.” I hand him to Garret. “I think he’s had enough of me.”

  “He’s just tired or needs a diaper change.”

  I look over at Sara and Alex who are talking and laughing. “Should I take him over there? I hate to interrupt them.”

  Garret’s searching through the diaper bag. “He needs to be changed.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because his pants are wet. His diaper’s leaking.”

  “I’ll go get Sara.”

  “Just change him yourself. You need to practice.”
/>   “Why? It’s not like the stork’s coming tomorrow.”

  “He might. His delivery schedule is very unpredictable.” Garret hands me a diaper. He has a changing mat laid out on the sleeping bag and some baby wipes off to the side.

  I lay Caleb down on the mat. He fusses some more as I take off his pants and wet diaper. “Now what do I do?”

  Garret hands me a new diaper and takes the wet one from me. “Let me throw this out.” When he comes back, he says, “Jade, you gotta hold the diaper over him or you’ll get wet.”

  “How do you know? You’ve never changed a baby boy.”

  “No, but I’ve got the same parts as him and I know what they’re capable of.” Garret takes the diaper from me and grabs a baby wipe. “I’ll finish up and you watch.” Within seconds he’s got Caleb in a fresh diaper.

  I find another pair of pants in the diaper bag and put them on Caleb just as Sara stops by again.

  Garret hands him to her. “He’s all yours. Freshly changed.”

  “You didn’t have to do that. You should’ve come and got me.”

  Garret gets up. “I’m going to go wash my hands.”

  Sara kisses Caleb, who’s yawning. “I need to get him to bed. Alex and I are going to head out. But thanks for watching Caleb for me.”

  “Sure. He’s a really good baby.”

  “Are you going to stay and watch the movie?”

  “Probably, although we haven’t really been watching it. We’ve been too busy playing with Caleb.”

  She smiles. “You guys will make great parents someday.”

  I shrug. “I don’t know about that.”

  “You will. You guys really love each other and you’re not afraid to show it. Kids pick up on that. It makes them feel safe and secure. I read that in a book, but it makes sense, right?”

  “You ready to go?” Alex walks up and puts his arm around Sara’s shoulder. Interesting. It could be a friend move. Or it could be more than that.

  “Yeah, I just need to get his stuff.”

  “I’ll get it.” Alex picks up the diaper bag. “See you, Jade. Tell Garret if he wants to watch a game to give me a call.”

  “Okay. See you guys later.”

  As they walk away, I notice Caleb’s already asleep on Sara’s shoulder. He’s even cuter when he sleeps.

  “Did they leave?” Garret’s back from the bathroom.

  “Yeah. Alex said something about a game?”

  “I asked if he wanted to meet at a sports bar sometime and watch a game.”

  “You never told me what you talked about with him.”

  “Let’s see. . . we talked about how he thought Sara was cute, and how much we loved her outfit, and I asked him where she got those earrings. And then we discussed trends in nail polish colors.”

  I punch his arm. “Yeah, you’re funny. What did you really talk about?”

  “What do you think? Sports. That’s what guys talk about.”

  “But you liked him?”

  “I guess. I only talked to him a few minutes.” Garret sits behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the side of my face. “How long do we have to stay here?”

  “I don’t know. Why? You don’t like the movie?”

  “The movie’s boring. You want to go back to my place?”

  “Is there anything to do there? Because if I’m going to be bored, I might as well stay here.”

  “I guarantee you won’t be bored.”

  “What do you have planned?”

  He gives me a detailed description, whispering it in my ear.

  I turn my head back and kiss him. “Your place sounds good. Let’s go.”

  14

  GARRET

  This morning we discovered we had no milk for breakfast. I knew we needed some when we left last night, but after I got Jade all worked up at the park we were in a hurry to get home. We hadn’t done it for almost a week, so yeah, stopping for milk wasn’t exactly on our minds.

  We woke up at nine and I showered quick, then went to the store to get the milk. I also bought some strawberries and bananas in my continued attempt to get Jade to eat better.

  My phone rings as I’m leaving the grocery store. I assume it’s Jade calling, asking me to pick something up.

  “Let me guess,” I say when I answer. “You want donuts?”

  “Garret?” I hear a deep voice on the other end of the phone.

  “Who is this?”

  “It’s your grandfather.”

  I freeze, right in the middle of the parking lot. Someone honks at me and I get out of the way.

  “Where are you?” He barks it at me. He was never in the military but you’d think he’d been a drill sergeant with his short abrupt speech pattern. He only talks that way when he’s angry or annoyed, and it sounds like he’s both of those things right now.

  “I’m at the grocery store.” I click the car remote to open the trunk.

  “I’ll call back later.”

  “No, wait!” If he hangs up, he’ll never call back. “I can talk. Hold on a minute.” I toss the bags in the trunk and get in the car. “Okay, go ahead.”

  “Is she there?”

  “Who?” I can’t think. He’s making me nervous. My own grandfather makes me nervous. How fucked up is that?

  “That girl.”

  “What girl? Jade?”

  “The one you live with.”

  “Jade is my wife, Grandfather. You should know her name.” I feel my anger rising, but I need to keep my temper under control. If he’s actually calling me, we might have a chance to repair this relationship and I don’t want to screw that up. “Jade’s not here. She’s at home.”

  “Have you spoken to your father recently?”

  “Yes, just the other day.”

  “I assume he informed you of your summer job at the company.”

  So that’s why my grandfather’s calling me? To tell me what to do?

  “I’m not working there. You know I don’t want to take over the company.”

  “You’re not taking it over, at least not right away. Your father is doing an adequate job with Kensington Chemical and he’ll be in charge for at least the next 10 years, maybe 15.”

  Adequate job? My father’s tripled the company’s profits since he took it over. He’s opened five new plants, doubled the workforce, been featured in tons of magazines. He’s a huge success. And yet his father says he’s done an ‘adequate job.’ My anger’s ramping up again.

  I take a breath and speak calmly. “Dad has done more than an adequate job. He works his ass off for the company and he’s made it into one of the most successful companies in the world. You’re way better off having him in charge than me.”

  “Your father won’t be around forever. A succession plan needs to begin now. There’s a lot to learn and you need to start learning it. I had your father working there when he was 16. You’re 20. You’re already behind.”

  “I don’t think you understand. I’m not working at the company. Not this summer. Not 10 years from now.”

  “No, Garret. You’re the one who does not understand.” The volume of his voice goes up just enough to let me know he’s angry, but not so much that it shows a lack of composure. He’s all about control and not allowing others to dictate his emotions. “You were born into this family with certain obligations. Your father has indulged your juvenile behavior long enough. It’s time to grow up and be a man. Accept the responsibilities that come with being a Kensington.”

  “It’s just a name. It doesn’t mean anything.” As soon as I say it, I regret it. I try to take it back but it’s too late.

  “How dare you!” Now he’s angry and he’s not hiding it. “That name is a legacy! Most people would kill to trade places with you!”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. What I meant was—”

  “I don’t want to hear your explanation.” The phone goes silent. I think he might’ve hung up, but then I hear him say, “Garret, I’m extremely dis
appointed in you.”

  Fuck. That hurts.

  And it shouldn’t. I shouldn’t care what he thinks of me. But I do.

  “You had so much potential. You had opportunities handed to you that only a select few have ever been offered.” He’s referring to my being chosen to be president someday, which he considered to be a huge honor. “And you just threw it all away.”

  “It wasn’t right for me. I didn’t want—”

  “Exactly. It’s all about you, isn’t it, Garret? It’s always about what you want, instead of what’s best for you and this family. You’re a spoiled child. You don’t deserve what you’ve been given. I blame your father for that. And the years you spent under the care of that woman who nearly destroyed your father’s life.”

  I grip the steering wheel and force myself to breathe before I completely lose it. “Don’t talk about my mother.”

  “I’m willing to give you another chance. You’re young, which means you’re naive and impulsive. And you’re confused, due to a lack of proper discipline. Your father has failed you. But I will not allow him to continue to do so.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You will work at Kensington Chemical. You will accept your responsibilities and be grateful to have them. You will stop being a child and start being a man. You will leave—”

  “Just stop!” My patience is used up. I can’t listen to this. In this short conversation, he’s managed to insult Jade, put down my dad, put down me, say bad things about my mother, and order me around like I’m one of his employees. “For the last time, I’m not taking over the company. I’m not working there. Not this summer. Not ever. I’m an adult. I have my own life now. And it’s not yours to control.”

  The phone goes silent again. My heart’s pounding hard in my chest. I’ve never talked that way to my grandfather. The silence continues. Then I hear him again.

  “I will break you, Garret.” His voice is eerily calm. It gives me chills. “I will break you, just like I broke Pearce. You, yourself, said he was a success. That was all because of me. He’d be nothing if I hadn’t taken control and forced him to get his life on track. I had to break him, then build him back up. And I will do the same to you.”

  “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. What does that even mean?”