Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

So when I’d arrived at the park and heard her terror-filled screams, I nearly lost it. It was something I never wanted to experience again, and I made a silent vow to never let her encounter a situation like that again. She was so innocent; being locked away from the outside world had kept her oblivious to the cruelty around her. In ways, I envied that about her.

  She wasn’t completely naïve. She had loved and lost, and that made her tough. Losing her mom and sight while having to bear through that all on her own made her stronger in ways she couldn’t see, but I did. She didn’t need me or anyone else to take care of her. She needed to be pushed, to struggle and overcome those battles herself. She needed someone to believe in her, and I did.

  I thought about what she’d confessed to me earlier, and I couldn’t deny that it scared the crap out of me. I’d been torn between picking her up and kissing her with all that I was or making a clean break with her. I didn’t know what I felt, but I knew the thought of not seeing her tomorrow or the next day made my stomach twist and knot.

  The guy groaned as I jerked him around, and that only made me do it again and harder. It made me feel a hell of a lot better seeing the blood smeared all over his face. When I found him, I’d taken great pleasure in hearing him wither in pain, holding his broken nose and knowing she’d taken care of herself as best as she could. Pride for my tiny hummingbird had burst through my system. This asshole deserved it, and I hoped it left his face completely scarred. He’d gotten off easy the way I saw it, which is why I felt the need to do what we were about to do.

  Glancing up at Sebastian, I asked, “You ready?”

  ***

  The next morning as people filled the park and the students commuted through to the nearby college, they stopped to gather around, creating a commotion of hushed whispers, pointing fingers, disgusted looks, taking pictures and videos that would be uploaded on to every social networking site there was.

  They would see the two hung-over douchebags tied and duct taped to the tree, side-by-side, naked. They would see the words in permanent marker scribbled across their chest, reading: “I’M WITH ASSHAT,” and an arrow pointing to the other guy whose chest read: “I GET DRUNK AND ATTACK INNOCENT GIRLS IN THE PARK.” It was a stretch, but we made it fit.

  They would feel the humiliation, the fear, that Araya felt when the cops walked up to take them off to jail after getting an anonymous phone call. They would feel the pain she felt when they put their hands on her delicate flesh, as the cops pulled the strategically placed duct tape from their sensitive skin, and they would cry out in pain. They would think twice before they ever touched another girl who didn’t ask to be touched by them, and now, everyone would know who they were and what they did.

  ***

  “What did you do?” Careless demanded.

  She slipped into my room and closed the door, leaving it a crack open so she could peek out into the hallway.

  I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  I came to stand behind her and looked through the door over her head.

  “What exactly are we looking at?”

  The hallway was empty.

  “We’re waiting,” she whispered.

  I rested my hand on the wall next her to. “Waiting for what? Why do you have to be dramatic and weird? Can’t you just pick one? Oww!” I complained when she elbowed me in the ribs. “What are we waiting for?” I asked again.

  “Annie,” she hissed, still inspecting the hall.

  “Why?”

  She turned to glare at me over her shoulder. “You really have no idea, Ryland?”

  “No, I don’t, Careless. Spit it out already.”

  She turned around, flattening herself against my door, and it clicked shut.

  “Caleb is here and he’s requesting your appearance.”

  Okay, so maybe I had a little idea.

  When I entered the sitting room, Caleb—the officer J.D. paid off nicely to take care of little problems for him—was standing in the entry. My eyes drifted toward J.D. who was pouring himself a drink.

  Leaning against the doorframe, I nodded in Caleb’s direction when he looked at me. “Caleb.”

  “Hey, Ryland.”

  Caleb Jeffery was a nice guy. Probably a little too loyal to the wrong people for his own good, but still a good guy. J.D. had him nicely wrapped around his finger.

  “Ah, there’s my son now. Ryland, you seem to be especially popular with our local law enforcement lately. Now that everyone is here, why don’t you tell us what it is my son has done this time, Caleb?”

  Caleb cleared his throat and shifted his weight, seeming uncomfortable that he had to be here at all. He looked up at me and I raised my eyebrows.

  “I figured I’d come down here and warn you before any charges were pressed.”

  “Charges? Charges pressed for what exactly?” J.D.’s voice was constricted as he controlled his growing annoyance.

  “It seems Ryland”—his eyes lifted toward mine—”assaulted a guy the other day down the street from your house and now he’s pressing battery charges. I don’t think he knows who Ryland is, but from the neighborhood, he probably assumed...”

  Okay, maybe this wasn’t what I thought it was. After everything that had happened the other night, I’d completely forgotten about the jackass I hit the day before.

  “Which leads me to assume that these charges can probably be taken care of quickly and quietly?” He didn’t wait for Caleb to respond. “I will also assume that you can handle this matter for me, Caleb?”

  My eyes narrowed as I watched Caleb and J.D. He nodded and excused himself, throwing me an apologetic glance on his way out. I know he felt conflicted between his loyalty to J.D. and feeling like a snitch.

  “You’re lucky I have someone in there that can clean up your mess.” J.D. said. “You mind telling me what the hell happened?”

  I folded my arms across my chest. “Right after you tell me what the hell you did?

  His head snapped up and his eyes narrowed, and it was in that moment that I knew. “Excuse me?”

  “It wasn’t just some random coincidence that guy was there, was it? I mean he got lucky that Araya fell into him, but I’m sure he would have figured out some other way to approach us.” He just stared at me and brought his drink to his lips. “What exactly was your plan? Did you think this was going to scare me away from her? Do you not know me at all? Blood really is the only thing that links us.” I scoffed and pushed away from the wall.

  Araya

  Twenty-Six

  I tried to count the sounds of the raindrops as they landed on the bus window, but that was actually a lot harder than I thought it would be.

  I should have stayed home today, I told myself for the hundredth time. Even though I missed Ryland more than I thought possible, I didn’t think I was ready to face him after Friday. I sighed and leaned my forehead into the cold glass.

  With the missing sun, it was darker in my world today, and it affected my mood more than I liked. I wanted to feel dark and gloomy too.

  Everything had been perfect during our date, and dancing had felt amazing and then it was ruined, and once again I hated I was blind. I was blind, but I was alive. My mother was dead, but I was still alive. I didn’t dwell on it after that. But all I could think about now was what was the point of surviving if I wasn’t living anyway?

  My blindness limited everything I did, including protecting myself, and that meant I would always be a prisoner to my blindness. I felt I was slowly wasting away in that tiny apartment, by myself, day after day. Why was life punishing me with a slow death? The atmosphere was definitely messing with my mood.

  I wish I had enough self-discipline to stay away from the Dare house today, but I didn’t. I knew Ryland was freaked about what had happened and what I had said, and I needed to see how much damage had been done.

  I hadn’t meant for the whole I love you to slip, but it did and I asked myself a million times this weekend if I could take it back, would I? The a
nswer was the same every time. No.

  I didn’t know anything about falling in love, but I knew life was too short not to embrace it when it did happen. Ryland was good and believed in me and he pushed me to be alive, and that was everything I needed to fall for him. And I fell hard. I didn’t want to complicate things by telling myself it was too fast.

  What did time have to do with anything? If it was going to happen, it was going to happen whether I could control when or not. It was better not to think about what ifs and if this had never happened. Either way, I wouldn’t have one of them.

  “Did you hear about what happened the other night?” the lady behind me whispered, catching my attention, and I sat a little straighter in my seat, uncomfortable.

  “Yes,” her companion said sadly. “Those boys deserved what they got. Teach them to do something like that ever again.”

  I was so tempted to turn around and ask what had happened, but before I could decide, I felt Nina turn in her seat.

  “I’m sorry, ladies,” she said with false politeness. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I was curious about what happened.”

  “It’s just awful. Two of the college boys attacked a girl in the park the other night. They found the boys bound to a tree the next morning…” She cleared her throat and whispered, “Naked. They had writing all over their bodies.”

  “How terrible for the young girl. Was she okay?”

  “The article in the paper said she was doing just fine. Luckily, she was able to fight her attacker. Oh dear, this is our stop.”

  “You ladies have a good day,” Nina said as the bus slowed and they got off.

  She waited until they pulled away before she said anything.

  “Is there something you want to tell me?”

  “No.”

  “Carl said he couldn’t find you at first the other night. Where were you?”

  “I was under one of the gazebos. It was raining before he finally stumbled into the park.”

  “How did you get under the gazebo?”

  “Someone helped me.”

  “Carl hurt his leg having to traipse after you in the rain and dark.”

  “Carl hurt his leg because he was drunk and could hardly walk.”

  I blamed my courage on the bus full of people that would stop Nina from hitting me again. I could feel the anger coming off her in waves.

  “You’re not allowed to go to the park anymore, am I clear?” When I didn’t answer, that pushed her to force a reaction from me. “I won’t have my husband end up like your mother because you think you’re capable of doing things like a normal person.”

  My fist clenched in my lap, but I wouldn’t give her what she was asking for.

  “You were lucky the other night, but you won’t be lucky the next time, and if you get pregnant, I’ll give you up. We’re here.”

  She got up from her seat when the bus slowed, and I followed her off. She was extra rough as she pulled and pushed me down the block to the Dares’ house.

  Annie was there to greet us as always, but Nina declined coming in and I was shocked but happy. She used the excuse that Carl needed her back ASAP.

  She told me to call her when I was ready to be picked up and I mumbled a good-bye before Annie swept me into her warmth and ushered me inside. She took my raincoat and led me into the study to wait for Careless and the promise of something warm and sweet to drink.

  It wasn’t until she left the room that I heard the music flowing from the other room. I knew it was Ryland and I got up to follow the sound.

  I walked slowly down the hall, using the wall to feel as I went and hoping I didn’t run into anything. The closer I got, the clearer it became until finally I found the slightly ajar door allowing the music’s escape.

  I slipped inside easily and closed the doors behind me. It wasn’t very bright outside, so the room was dark and grey. The music came from the opposite corner and I made my way over to him and hoped I didn’t fall into anything. I could see the hazy brightness from the window next to his dark shadow and I moved to stand next to it. I touched the window with my fingertips and the music stopped.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” I said quietly, turning to look at him. “You didn’t have to stop playing.”

  He shifted on the bench and turned toward me. “I was just messing around. This is where I come when I don’t want to think. You find your way in here all by yourself?”

  “Yeah. The door was open. I hope you don’t mind?”

  “Why would I mind, hummingbird?”

  I shrugged and countered, “Why am I making this awkward?”

  “Because you’re nervous. Come here.” He leaned over, grabbing my hand and pulling me between his legs. “How are you?”

  “If you’re asking in general, I’m… scared. If you’re asking about the other night, I’m better.”

  “Why are you scared?”

  “Because of the way you’re acting right now. It scares me.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m fine. I was just worried about you all weekend. I didn’t like not seeing you.”

  “I didn’t either.”

  “Did you tell Nina?”

  I shook my head. “But she knows something happened.”

  He seemed nervous over what he was about to stay. Finally, he sighed. “I’m not telling you not to go to the park anymore, Araya. I know it’s your only escape but I am asking you... please.”

  It wasn’t what I was expecting and I was happy. “Nina said I can’t go to the park anymore.”

  He didn’t say anything and I knew he was relieved. “Sit with me.”

  He pulled me onto the bench next to him and his fingers moved over the keys, producing a beautiful melody with his fingers.

  “Have you ever played before?” he asked me over the soothing sound.

  “No, all my talent went into my feet.”

  He laughed and pulled me into his lap and placed my fingers on the smooth keys, his hands covering mine.

  “The basics are pretty easy. You just need to know where the main notes are.”

  His fingers pushed into mine as he showed me the essential keys. None of the sounds I made came out anywhere near as pretty as the ones he made.

  “Here, put your fingers over mine.”

  We switched places and his fingers moved as they drifted across the keys effortlessly. I recognized the melody as the one he played for me the other night.

  “What song is this?”

  “You like it?”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “I wrote it.”

  I turned to look at him over my shoulder. “You wrote this?”

  His hands stilled and dropped away from the piano.

  “I wrote it for you to dance to. I’m thinking of calling it ‘Hummingbird.’ What do you think?”

  “I think you’re nothing short of wonderful.”

  I leaned over and kissed him. It was only supposed to be something simple and short, but the second my lips touched his, it became something more.

  His hands were all over me and then in my hair, holding my mouth to his as he devoured my lips. He stood up, bringing me with him, and the bench slid backward, making a scuffing noise. Lifting me by my waist, he set me down on the keys of the piano and they protested with a glaring sound.

  He pushed himself between my legs, and his hands wrapped around the underside of my thighs, pulling me against him. I could feel him pressing against me and I lifted my hips, wanting to feel more of him.

  He growled against the side of my neck and bent me back over the piano. His lips found the hollow of my throat and trailed down to the V of my dress.

  His teeth moved over the swell of my breast, biting lightly. When his lips found mine again, he shoved his tongue in my mouth. His hands moved up my ribs, up my back, and his fingers found the lining of my dress around my shoulder and he pulled on the material until my shoulder was bare and his lips and teeth could move over my flesh freely.
/>   It was the sound of my dress tearing under his eager fingers that made him stop and pull back. I slid off the keys and he moved away from me, pushing the bench, and it slid out of the way.

  Our breathing was the only sound in the room, and I adjusted my dress, pulling it back into place. My fingers felt the tiny tear in the seam around my shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” he finally said.

  “I’m not.”

  I wished he didn’t feel the need to feel so guilty every time he touched me.

  “What exactly is it that makes you feel so guilty?”

  “I feel like I’m taking advantage of you every time we’re together like this.”

  “Why? I want it and I want you!” I said loudly.

  I heard him move and his hand shot out, wrapping around the back of my neck, pulling me hard against his body and pressing me into the wall. His hands slid up, holding my cheeks, and he nuzzled the side of my face. It became too much effort to leave my eyes open and they slid shut as his lips found mine again.

  I knew what he was attempting to do, but his plan was backfiring. My body sighed at the contact, and every curve molded against him, desperate to feel all of him.

  “If I feel you beneath me, I won’t be able to stop, Araya,” he rasped against my mouth. “I want you too damn much! I want you, all of you. I want to be buried so deep inside of you, you won’t know where I end and you begin.” His breath showered my lips with warmth.

  “I won’t want you to stop, Ryland. I need you, all of you, now and—”

  “And the rest?” He cut me off before I could finish.

  I could feel his eyes moving over my face, flushing my skin with the intensity of his stare. The rhythm of my heart increased, because I knew what he wanted me to say.

  “Say it,” he growled against my lips.

  “I don’t want to know where you end and I begin, Ryland.”

  “Araya!”

  “Shit!” Ryland growled as Annie and Careless called for me.

  Ryland kissed me softly and then he was gone and I slumped against the wall, breathing hard.

  Ryland

  Twenty-Seven