Eyes On Him

by Riley Knight

  It was beautiful. It was everything that Julian had always wanted without telling himself.

  It was Luca, and Luca was home.

  * * *

  The next day, Julian took over with the driving. Luca had done it all the day before, and Julian figured it was only fair. Perhaps there was the faintest hint of an ulterior motive, too, since he was pretty much hoping that Luca would have to tell him where they were going.

  “Just drive,” Luca said, smirking a little like he could tell what Julian was after. He probably could. It wasn’t like it was difficult to figure out. “Head North.”

  The scenery was beautiful, at least, and it was a pleasant, if long, drive. They stopped only rarely, and, pushing it as they did, they crossed the border from Oregon into Washington before nightfall.

  “Are you taking me to the North Pole or something? Are we visiting Canada?” Julian finally asked, but Luca just smirked at him, obviously enjoying the secret.

  In Seattle, they finally stopped, and Luca took over with the driving. Julian fought down a wave of excitement. There was no real reason for him to think that he was about to find out just what the big secret was, but somehow, he knew.

  They could have just been visiting Seattle, he supposed, but there wasn’t a lot that was in Seattle that couldn’t be offered in San Francisco, really. Though he quickly had to amend that thought, because the clouds opened up and the rain pattered on the windshield, making everything wet and smeary.

  Seattle, it turned out, could offer quite a lot of rain.

  They drove, and the rain continued, but the dark gray of the wet city gave way to the hunter green of the forest. Huge, tall trees were all around them as they took a side road, and Julian watched in fascination.

  Had he ever seen trees quite like this?

  He’d given up on guessing where they were going. His guess had been Seattle, but they were past that, now. So he just settled down and waited, and even though he was exhausted from the long drive up, he fought back the tiredness, ignored his grainy eyes, and just watched.

  Finally, the car pulled to a gentle halt, and Luca turned off the car. Julian strained his eyes in the darkness, trying to see, but there was very little light and what little there was, was muted by the rain.

  Well, they seemed to be where they were going, so he shrugged and moved to open the car door. He wasn’t going to figure this out by just sitting here. As far as he could tell, they were pretty much in the middle of nowhere in the woods, but he trusted Luca enough to assume that they were here for a reason.

  Oh God. Did Luca think that Julian was the sort of person who would like to go camping in the rain?

  He was stopped before he could open the car door by Luca gripping his wrist and tugging him back. He turned to look, and Luca was gazing at him with that look that Julian had only ever seen from Luca. As if Luca were an innocent, somehow, as though he never knew fear or doubt, and as though he trusted completely in love.

  “There was a night a little over seven months ago where I watched you on stage, and then I had to leave for two weeks for work. I thought of you the whole time,” Luca admitted, his face very soft and open and beautiful in the low light. “Before we’d ever talked. I spent the whole time telling myself not to be a creep, but I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

  Julian smiled, and that strange bubble of happiness, of pure contentment, that Luca seemed to have installed in the pit of Julian’s stomach swelled and lifted and made him feel invincible. He was pretty sure he knew exactly what Luca was talking about.

  “I think that was the same night that I almost talked to you. You disappeared for two weeks after that,” Julian murmured. How he’d kicked himself for that later when he’d spent the two weeks convinced that he would never see Luca again, that he’d never get the chance to get to know him.

  “I liked watching you perform. Does that freak you out? That I came there most nights, just to see you?” Luca sounded anxious, and Julian shook his head, wanting to reassure him.

  “While you were looking at me, didn’t you know that I was looking at you right back?” Julian asked, his voice very quiet, but there wasn’t any noise around to drown them out, other than the soft patter of the rain on the car roof and windows.

  It was Luca’s turn to smile, and they leaned in together as if drawn together by some force even more irresistible than gravity, orbiting each other until their lips met.

  “Well, I wanted to bring you here. This is where I really first realized that I couldn’t get you out of my head,” Luca whispered, then that kiss, which left them both breathless and wanting, finally ended. “For the next five days, it’s just you and me.”

  Julian tilted his head to the side and arched an eyebrow. He liked the idea of being with Luca all alone, especially after their ridiculously long separation, but …

  “I should have told you that I don’t exactly do camping,” Julian warned. “Especially not rain camping. It’s just not my thing.”

  “This isn’t camping,” Luca promised him, and then kissed him once more, a quick swipe of his lips over Julian’s, that was brief but nevertheless made his toes curl with delight.

  “Then what is it?” Julian asked, and Luca grinned at him, teeth gleaming white in the darkness.

  “Come find out.”

  Fair enough. Julian could use a stretch, anyway, and the forest air smelled surprisingly good as he opened the door. Like wet earth and rain and trees, this was an area that was very alive. Even the kiss of the cool rain on his cheeks wasn’t entirely unpleasant, he had to admit.

  Now that he was out of the car, he could see that there were roads around, but they were small, more like trails, big enough for one car at a time. Otherwise, it was all just trees, as far as the eye could see. Which wasn’t very far, because of the dark and the fact that the trees tended to block everything out.

  “Okay? So if this isn’t camping …?” Julian frowned. It sure seemed like camping to him. It had been years since he’d last been subjected to that sort of thing, since before he’d lost his parents, but he was pretty sure that staying outside in the forest counted as camping.

  Luca grinned at him, then walked around the car to take Julian by the hand. Without saying a word, he gently pulled Julian close to him, then led him a few steps away.

  “Look up,” he finally said, when Julian was starting to wonder if his lover had gone insane or something. He arched an eyebrow at him, but he did look up, as directed.

  Even then, at first, he didn’t see anything. It wasn’t until Luca took their linked hands and put it on the rain-slickened railing of a wooden staircase that he started to be able to pick the details out.

  A spiral staircase, made out of some sort of wood that matched the rest of the trees around, arched up into the trees. Up there, he saw the faintest glimmer of light and the vaguest hint of wooden walkways.

  “What the hell?” Julian asked, and Luca grinned at him wider, a challenge in his eyes that Julian found that he couldn’t deny.

  “Come find out!” he invited again, and, hand in hand, they walked up the staircase and into the trees.

  * * *

  The truth was, Julian had never been that into nature. Oh, he would go to the park, and he didn’t mind trees or anything, but he’d never been particularly into hiking or anything like that. He was a city boy, born and bred.

  This, however, would have been utterly gorgeous even alone. With Luca by his side, his warm hand in Julian’s keeping out the chill of the night so that Julian barely felt it, it was paradise.

  The charming, twisty little staircase led up to a wooden bridge, and beyond that, there was a tiny cabin, gently nestled in the boughs of the trees. It was no wonder that Julian, partially blinded by the night and by the rain, hadn’t been able to see it. It was entirely made out of wood, and close enough to the same color that the low light robbed it of any distinction.

  The house itself was tiny, of course, as it would have to be to be supported
by the tree. Just big enough for two people, really, and only if those two people were willing to get very cozy.

  In short, it was an incredibly romantic, beautiful place, and Luca had thought of him. That was what made it truly special to Julian, that was what made his heart give a clench in his chest before it started beating normally again. That was what made his eyes sting a little as he looked around the beautiful place.

  “Is it okay?” Luca asked, sounding nervous. “I mean, I didn’t know that you weren’t really into the whole camping outdoors thing, but the cabin is heated, and there’s even electricity, I’m not much into roughing it, either …”

  Luca, Julian had noticed, had an absolutely adorable tenancy to babble when he was nervous. It was incredibly charming, and his fondness for Luca only grew, but he supposed it wasn’t actually all that fair to leave the poor man wondering if he’d done something wrong.

  “It’s perfect,” Julian whispered. They were standing on the other end of the bridge, made up of wooden slats, from the cabin, or, rather, the treehouse. Though it was a little unnerving to be so far above the ground with only the relatively small bridge to keep him from falling, Julian took the leap, or rather, step, of faith, and moved onto it, holding Luca’s hand.

  Inside, the treehouse was all wood, but a warm, welcoming shade of amber, almost golden, nearly glowing. Cozy and comfortable, and utterly gorgeous. The sound of the rain was muted, just enough to add to the atmosphere, and it was warm enough.

  Though not so warm that it wouldn’t be fun to cuddle in bed with someone special, to listen to the drip of the rain and enjoy the utter solitude. After so long waiting, Julian had this back, and he wasn’t going to lose a minute of it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Luca

  The wind had picked up a little. Luca could hear it whistling around the cabin, and this high up in the trees, he was tempted to worry just a little bit. Yes, they were securely fixed to the tree branches that they were on, but wasn’t it possible that they could still fall?

  Then Julian shifted on the bed, and Luca relaxed, letting himself drift off into a doze. He was with Julian again. It sounded strange, but the worst thing that could happen to him had already happened. He’d lost Julian. He had him back again. Everything else was small peanuts.

  Slowly, Luca took in each and every detail of Julian’s beautiful face. It had been six days. That meant they had to leave tomorrow, and for Luca, that was a highly depressing thought.

  Over and over again, he did the math in his head. They’d left on a Friday, and he’d told his work that he was taking a week off. It had taken them two days, more or less, to get up to Seattle. Their visit had lasted almost a full week, six days. Which gave him two days to get home so that he could go back to work on Monday.

  No matter how many times he thought it over, it gave him the same answer. Part of him wanted to stay here forever. To never go back home.

  Or, more importantly, to never go back to work.

  Didn’t many people think like that? He had certainly heard people speaking that way before, but it was only recently that he’d had that experience himself. When he’d worked for himself, he had never had to worry about that sort of thing.

  Or course, he’d also taken on some truly terrible jobs, just to pay the rent. So what was better? The stability or the freedom? There were up sides and down sides to each way.

  Not that it mattered, really. He’d promised Julian that he would get this job, and he had. He’d never promised to keep the job, not explicitly, but he wasn’t going to take the risk. Things were so good between them, and he didn’t want to ruin it.

  Which meant going home, and then going to work. It meant doing other people’s work and watching them take credit for it. It meant working for a company that talked big about their lofty ethics but in reality …

  “You’re miles away,” Julian spoke, and even as distracted as Luca was, he couldn’t help but admire the way that gorgeous, deep voice was slightly roughened with sleep. Julian had the most beautiful voice in the world, whether he was singing or talking, Luca was sure of that.

  “I guess I was,” Luca admitted. “I was just thinking.”

  “About what?” Julian asked, and he made Luca’s heart flutter in his chest as he nestled up against him. Julian didn’t trust many people, Luca had picked that up pretty quickly, but it was clear that he trusted Luca.

  God, that meant so much to him.

  “About going home,” Luca said quietly. There was no reason to lie. Julian could tell the passing of time just as well as Luca could.

  “Yeah. I guess we have to leave tomorrow morning,” Julian admitted, and Luca nodded, grateful that his lover understood.

  “I think so,” Luca said. “I have to get back to work on Monday.”

  He meant his voice to come out matter of fact, the way that he’d heard people talking about going to work. It was just a thing that had to happen, like paying taxes or rent or keeping the utilities up and running. Not optional.

  Without meaning to, though, without fully being aware of it, he let a sigh of resignation slip from between his lips. The moment that it was out, he wanted to take it back, to suck it back into his lungs, but that was impossible.

  Julian noticed, of course. Not everyone would have, but Julian was the sort of person who had been quiet for his whole life, and who observed rather than spoke. Julian raised his head, his eyes suddenly losing the softness of sleep and concern written on his face.

  “What is it?” Julian asked, and Luca felt the distinct urge to kick himself. Hard. What had he done? He was so happy Julian was back with him, and he had no desire at all to ruin that. But he could read the worry in Julian’s expressive eyes, and he hated himself for putting it there.

  “It’s nothing,” Luca tried to say, but the words choked him. He couldn’t quite force them out through the lump that was suddenly in his throat. This was just a part of being an adult, so why did it bother him so much?

  Regardless, it certainly wasn’t something to bother Julian with.

  “Okay,” Julian said slowly. “Now let’s try the truth. What’s going on? Are you okay?”

  Was he okay? Sure he was. He had a job. He had Julian back. He was upwardly mobile, still young, strong, and healthy …

  He opened his mouth to say all of that, but then shut it again. Because those weren’t the words that wanted to come out. He shook his head, not sure how much Julian could see in the low light, but it must have been enough because Julian shifted toward him and gently kissed him on the forehead.

  “Tell me,” Julian said, and Luca closed his eyes and let himself accept the comfort that his lover was offering. He let himself bask in the feeling of being loved, being cared for, being calmed and soothed.

  “I don’t want to go back,” Luca said, and he felt like he was whining. He should be able to deal with his own problems, but he honestly wasn’t doing that great a job of it. “I want to just stay here forever. Never go back. I know it’s stupid …”

  Julian sighed softly, his lips still resting with almost unbearable sweetness against Luca’s forehead.

  “It’s not stupid. I don’t want to go back, either.” There was a moment of silence, and then Julian spoke again. “What’s at home that makes you want to stay?”

  Luca took a second and just absorbed some of the mental warmth he was feeling from Julian. He let himself be soothed just a little bit because Julian might be quiet, but he had hidden depths to him. Luca had never felt judged by him.

  “Work.” Luca winced a little. “I know I sound like a whiny kid who doesn’t want to clean their room, but …” He let a sigh out, just a release of tension, before he continued. “I’m sick of it. I hate it.”

  It was true, he realized, as soon as the words came out. He hated it. He absolutely despised his job. He hated the people. He hated the things that he had to do.

  He had started to drink after less than a month working there, and for the first time, he real
ized that it had been a full week since he’d last had an alcoholic drink. That was pretty damn incredible, and it also told him something pretty significant about how he felt about his work, too.

  Julian nodded. Luca still had his eyes closed, but he could feel the movement since Julian’s head was still so close to Luca’s.

  “I’ve heard it in the way you talk about it,” Julian commented. “So what is it that you hate about it? Is it something you can fix?”

  For a long moment, Luca forced himself to think about that. He’d been in such a holding pattern for six months, just letting himself exist. Work was or had been, something to keep him from missing Julian quite as much. Now he had Julian back. Was his work situation something that could be salvaged?

  “I don’t think so,” Luca said honestly. “No. The job I have, do you know they go through an average of four people a year doing it? Last year, it was six. No one wants to stay in my position, but in the actual journalist roles, no one moves on. There’s no room for me.”

  Once he got started talking, it was like he couldn’t stop. Julian was there. Julian was listening to him, hearing every word he said, and Luca honestly couldn’t remember a time when he’d had that. His calm acceptance, his attention, opened the floodgates of emotion that Luca had been holding back for months.

  “It’s terrible there. I work so hard, and no one even says thank you. They just use my work and put their name on it. Besides, they’re supposed to be so progressive, but they don’t even consistently recycle or anything. They don’t donate to any charities. They talk a big game, but …”

  Now he really was whining, and Luca cringed away from the sound of his own voice. He was being ridiculous. He took a deep breath and forced his voice into a more sedate, calm tone.

  “I’m lucky to have the job. It pays well. Better than freelancing did. And at least I’m doing what I love. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to whine at you like that.”

  Julian frowned, and for the first time, he didn’t really seem to be listening. He had been for the whole whiny rant, but not for the apology, which he just sort of waved off.