Happy Campers

by Karen D. Badger

  “I know. It hasn’t been as bad as I expected, and quite frankly, my heart has only had an irregular beat a couple of times since we’ve been here. For a while there, it was jumping all around in my chest for most of the day.”

  Cat frowned. “You never told me it was that bad. That’s a sign of severe anxiety. It can be dangerous if it goes on too long.”

  “That’s what I’m worried about.”

  Cat squeezed Billie’s hand. “Billie, are you happy? I mean, are you truly happy with me… with our lives?”

  “I think it’s impossible for someone to be happy all the time, but honestly, I love my life. I love you, and I love the kids. I feel a sense of completeness that I’ve never felt before, even when things were good between me and Brian.”

  “I’m glad. I want you to be happy we’re together, Billie. No regrets.”

  “Do you have regrets? Are you happy, Cat?”

  “The truth?”

  “Absolutely. I insist.”

  “I love being married to you. I love being the mother of your children.”

  “But?”

  “But I’m concerned about the changes in you since the surgery.”

  Billie fell silent for a few moments before responding. “I’m sorry, Cat. I feel it too. It’s like some unknown force, some unknown fear clenches my stomach and then I find myself becoming angry. Unfortunately, more often than not, you end up on the receiving end. I’m sorry.”

  “Better me than the kids.”

  Billie’s eyes opened wide. “I would never hurt the kids, Cat.”

  “I know you wouldn’t, love. Not intentionally. Look, I love you. I love you with all my heart, and if you hear anything I am saying, hear this. I am not going anywhere. Whatever is causing this problem, I’m here for you. I will stand by you, no matter what. We’ll see this through together. Understand?”

  “Thank you.” Billie’s finger traced Cat’s cheek. “You are so beautiful. Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

  “I most certainly do. I don’t know what’s hotter right now, the heat coming from you, or the heat coming from the campfire.”

  “I’ll make you a deal: I’ll take care of the campfire’s heat, if you’ll take care of mine.”

  “That’s an offer I can’t refuse. I’ll fetch the water for you.”

  Billie watched Cat pick up the bucket and saunter across the campsite to the faucet, fill it, and return to the campfire. Each step Cat took served to fan the inferno that was raging within her. Cat placed the bucket at Billie’s feet. “Here you go, lover. I’ll meet you in the tent.”

  Billie made short work of the campfire as she poured water on the coals and spread them out. When she was satisfied it was safe to leave them unattended, she hurried to their tent. Cat was inside, lying naked on top of the sleeping bags. Billie sank to her knees and inhaled the aroma of Cat’s desire that perfumed the air. As quickly as possible, she disposed of her clothing and lay beside her lover. Billie’s breath sputtered as she fought for self-control. She wanted to savor every second and every inch of skin for as long as possible. Until this very moment, finding time alone to make love to her wife had been nearly impossible.

  Billie began by caressing Cat’s breasts. She ran her tongue around each nipple and slowly took each tender bud into her mouth. Cat responded by arching her chest and throwing her head back. Her rapturous moans heightened Billie’s desire as she placed a trail of kisses from Cat’s breasts to her collarbone, then gently nipped her way towards Cat’s shoulder. It wasn’t long before Billie felt Cat pushing her head southward.

  “Billie, I need you.”

  “Patience, my love,” Billie said as she wound a torturously slow path from Cat’s shoulder downward. By the time she reached her destination, Cat was writhing with desire. Billie looked upward into Cat’s face and felt a rush of love and need for this woman she had committed her life to.

  “I love you, Cat,” Billie said just before she gave Cat what she was aching for.

  “Oh my God, Billie, harder,” Cat demanded.

  Billie held Cat as she fell over the edge, then collapsed into her arms. Several moments later, Billie was convinced Cat had fallen asleep. “Cat?”

  Cat opened her eyes. “Damn, that was good,” she said, a wide grin gracing her features. “My turn,” she added as she rose to her knees and straddled Billie’s thighs.

  Billie gripped the sleeping bag as she surrendered herself to Cat’s probing tongue. It was a struggle to control her own desire as Cat suckled her breasts and ran her tongue down her abdomen and into her navel. She pushed back her disappointment as Cat reversed direction and headed back up toward her breasts, and then to her neck. Soon Cat was hovering over her, their noses mere inches apart. Not a word passed between them as Billie was unable to look away from her lover’s eyes, when quite unexpectedly, she felt Cat’s fingers plunge deep into her. She arched forward, and her face scrunched into a mask of concentration and desire.

  “God, Cat. Don’t stop.”

  “Not a chance,” Cat replied. Within moments, Cat felt Billie’s body spasm and close around her fingers. “That’s it, my love. Let it go. I love you, Billie.”

  Billie clung to Cat as waves of release passed through her, then subsided into sweet euphoria.

  Cat kissed her tenderly, then snuggled down into Billie’s shoulder. Moments later, Billie realized Cat was giggling. She turned her head to look at Cat. “Care to share what’s so funny?”

  “You are?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m sorry, Billie. I can’t help it.” More laughter. “While we were making love, you… you were making fuck faces.”

  “I was making what?”

  Cat rolled onto her side and laughed even harder. “Oh, my God. My stomach hurts.”

  Billie grabbed her shoulders. “I was making what? Cat, talk to me.”

  Cat wiped the tears from her face. “You were making fuck faces. I can’t help it. It was funny.”

  “Fuck faces? What the hell is fuck faces?”

  “You know, your face gets all wrinkled up, your mouth opens, your eyes roll into your head.”

  Billie burst out laughing. “That’s funny!” she said. “And oh, by the way, you were making fuck faces too!”

  “I know. That’s why I’m laughing. I was just wondering if I looked as funny to you as you looked to me.”

  “Hell yeah. Thank God you didn’t laugh in the middle of the action—that would not have been pleasant.”

  “Talk about putting a damper on the libido!” Cat exclaimed. Cat snuggled down again into Billie’s shoulder.

  “Hey Cat,” Billie said.

  “Yes?”

  “Look at me.”

  Cat raised her head and immediately burst out laughing as Billie displayed her most dramatic fuck face. “Oh my god, stop it! My stomach hurts from laughing!”

  Before long, they were face to face and making each other laugh even harder by posing with various fuck faces they had seen the other make during their lovemaking.

  Never again would lovemaking be the same.

  Chapter 23: The Seven Rear Itch

  Billie knelt on one knee beside the fire ring and arranged kindling in a teepee shape, then held the propane lighter at the base until the flame took hold and began to spread. She gently blew on the small fire until it consumed the wood. The sound of a zipper drew her attention toward Fred and Jen’s tent. Billie smiled as Fred emerged, bare-chested and wearing Bermuda shorts and flip-flops. He carried the tube of aloe gel in his hand.

  “Good morning, Fred. How’d you sleep?”

  “Sleep? What’s that?”

  “I was afraid of that. Give me a moment to get the fire going, then I’ll set up the coffee pot.”

  Satisfied that the kindling was burning strong, Billie placed two larger pieces of wood on the fire and watched as the flame encircled them. She rose to her feet and brushed off her knee, then looked at Fred, who was now sitting at the picnic table.
“You look like hell, my friend.”

  “Well, I look better than I feel. This sunburn is killing me.”

  “Here, give me the aloe. I’ll put it on for you.” Billie took the tube from Fred and squirted a long line of it down his back.

  Fred flinched. “Holy shit, that’s cold!”

  “Better cold than hot. I’ll try to be gentle,” she said as she spread the soothing ointment across Fred’s shoulders. Try as she might to apply the lightest of touches, she felt Fred quiver as her fingers ran over his skin. “Sorry, dude. I’m being as gentle as I can.”

  “It’s okay. I’m a big boy. I can handle it.”

  “I’ll try to be as quick as I can. Here, you do the front while I do the back,” Billie said as she squeezed a generous amount of aloe into his hand. Moments later, she snapped the cap closed on the tube of gel. “Finished. I hope it helps.”

  “Thanks. It feels a little better already.”

  “We’ll do this periodically throughout the day. Cat says we need keep the skin moist, or it will itch like a bastard when it dries out.”

  Fred wiped the remnants of the gel on the exposed areas of his receding hairline. “I guess I should have worn a hat, as well.”

  “Ya think?”

  “That’s the problem. I didn’t think.” Fred rose from the table. “I’ll be right back, gotta get a shirt.”

  “I’ll get the coffee started.”

  Billie put a few smaller pieces of wood in the embers, then placed the cooking grate across the fire ring. By the time Fred returned to the fire, she had the percolator set up. She pulled a couple of camp chairs closer to the fire. “Have a seat. The coffee should be ready soon.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Any idea what’s on the agenda for today?” Billie asked.

  “Beats the hell out of me. I’m going to be somewhat limited. I think I should stay out of the direct sunlight for a few days.”

  “I hear you. I guess we’ll have to see what Cat and Jen have planned.”

  “Did I hear my name?”

  Billie swung around and looked toward her tent. “Cat. I’m sorry, did we wake you?”

  “Actually, the coffee did. That, and Mother Nature. I’ll be right back.” Cat made a beeline toward the bathhouse.

  “Miss Walnut Bladder. I swear that woman can’t walk past a bathroom without having to use it.”

  “Jen’s the same way. And for some reason, there’s always a line at the women’s room but never in the men’s room. Why is that?” Fred mused.

  Billie shrugged. “Maybe it’s because men don’t have to partially disrobe to pee. That really sucks, by the way. Maybe it’s because along with using the potty, women tend to primp in front of the mirror. Maybe there’re more urinals in the men’s room than toilets in the women’s room. Lots of reasons.”

  “Coffee,” came a voice from behind them.

  Fred looked at Billie. “That would be Jen.”

  “It’s just about finished perking, Jen. Come have a seat,” Billie said. “Oh, and I must say, your cavewoman hair-do is quite fetching.”

  “Up yours,” Jen replied as she attempted to tame her wild, bedhead curls.

  Jen kissed Fred on top of the head. “Hey, love. How’d you sleep?”

  “Not very well.”

  “Give me the aloe and I’ll spread it on your back for you,” Jen offered.

  “Billie already took care of that.”

  “Okay.” Jen looked around. “Is Cat still sleeping?”

  “No. She’s gone to the bathhouse,” Billie said.

  “That sounds like a good idea. I’ll be right back.”

  “That’s another thing I don’t understand,” Fred said as he watched Jen walk down the path to the bathhouse.”

  “What’s that?” Billie asked.

  “Why is it that when women are out with friends, all of them have to go to the bathroom together?”

  Billie poked at the fire. “Fred, you have way too much time on your hands.”

  * * *

  “Mom, can you pass the catsup?” Stevie asked.

  “Sure, sweetie.” Jen handed the bottle to her son.

  “For the life of me, I can’t imagine how catsup makes eggs taste better,” Cat said.

  “I think it’s a guy thing,” Jen replied. “Karissa, use your napkin, not your hand to wipe your mouth.”

  “What are we doing today, Ma?” Seth asked.

  “We’re going hiking,” Tara said. “I heard Mama and Aunt Jen talking about it last night.”

  “Cool,” Seth replied.

  “I’m not sure I should be out in the sun, Jen,” Fred said.

  Jen gave her husband an appraising stare. “You’re probably right.”

  “I’ll stay with him,” Billie offered.

  “You don’t have to do that,” he said.

  “No, it’s okay. I brought a book with me that I’ve been wanting to read. Really, I don’t mind.”

  Jen clapped her hands together. “All right, that’s settled. Let’s get breakfast cleaned up and hit the trail.”

  A short time later, Cat took Billie aside. “Are you sure? You’re going to miss a good walk,” she whispered.

  “I hate to leave him here alone. You and Jen go ahead and have fun with the kids.”

  Soon Cat and Jen were on their way up the path, using the trail map they had picked up at the office.

  It was a long while later and well out on the trail when Skylar said, “Mama, I gotta pee!”

  “Sky, honey, can you hold it until we get back to camp?”

  “No. I gotta pee real bad,” she whined, crossing her legs.

  “Okay, okay. Come on.” Cat took the child’s hand and led her into the bushes. She looked back over her shoulder at the rest of the group. “You might want to take advantage of the pit stop, as well. It’s a long hike back to the campsite.”

  Moments later, after a trip to the bushes for everyone, the little entourage was on its way back to camp.

  “How was your hike?” Billie asked as Skylar climbed into her arms and rested her head on her shoulder. “Don’t go to sleep, little one. It will be time for dinner soon.”

  “The hike was great,” Cat replied. “The kids should sleep well tonight. It was a bit strenuous in places.”

  “Never mind the kids, I can’t wait for bedtime,” Jen said. “I’m beat.”

  Cat kissed Billie’s head and then Skylar’s. “How was your afternoon? And where’s Fred?”

  “Fred is napping. The poor guy didn’t sleep at all last night. I’ve been reading for the past couple of hours. It’s been relaxing.”

  “Just what the doctor ordered,” Cat said.

  “Karissa, Stevie, try to keep the noise down, your dad is sleeping. Okay?” Jen asked.

  “Okay, Mom. Me and Tara are going to play dolls in our tent,” Karissa said.

  “Tara and I,” Jen corrected.

  “Seth, wanna play catch?” Stevie asked.

  “Sure.”

  Jen stood in the middle of the campsite with her hands on her hips. “Well then, I guess I’ll start dinner.”

  Later that evening, after a satisfying supper, they all sat around the campfire and roasted marshmallows. Before long, the children started to nod off and were sent to bed. In consideration of Fred’s condition, the Swenson tent was pretty quiet that night. The same was not true for the Charland tent. After tucking the children in, Billie led Cat back to their tent and gently laid her down on the sleeping bags. Covering the smaller woman’s body with her own, she placed her elbows on either side of Cat’s head and supported her weight on them.

  Billie looked into Cat’s face. “Cat, I have never known anyone as beautiful as you. I love you with all my heart. I feel honored that you have chosen to love me.”

  “You are so corny.”

  Billie raised an eyebrow. “Give me a break here. I’m trying to be romantic.”

  “Then kiss me.”

  Billie lowered her mouth to Cat’s neck
and gently brushed her lips across the tender skin. She ran her fingers through Cat’s hair and tilted her head back, teasing Cat with several light, butterfly kisses.

  Cat’s breath caught in her throat. “God, Billie, you have no idea what you do to me,” Cat exclaimed breathlessly as Billie nibbled on her neck.

  Billie pulled back and looked at her. “If it’s the same as what you do to me, then yes, I do know.” She kissed her again then drew back to look into Cat’s face.

  Cat reached up with one hand and pushed a lock of hair behind Billie’s ear. “Your hair is getting long,” she said. “Your bangs will need a trim soon.”

  “Yeah, it’s getting there,” Billie observed. “It killed me when they shaved all my hair off for the brain surgery.”

  Cat caught Billie’s face between her palms. “Billie, you are, and will always be, the most beautiful creature on this earth. Dark or gray, young or old—nothing can mar your beauty in my eyes.”

  Billie smiled mischievously. “Are you trying to tell me that I’m getting old and gray, Mrs. Charland?”

  Cat tried to look insulted. “Me?” she asked. “No, never.”

  “Because if you think for one moment that I can’t keep up with you, you are sadly mistaken,” Billie said, an evil glint in her eyes.

  “Really? Care to prove it?”

  Billie smiled wickedly. “I was hoping you’d ask, if you think we can make it through without fuck faces.”

  “Is that a challenge, my love? If so, you’re on.”

  Hours later, Cat melted into the arms of the woman she loved and fell fast asleep.

  The next morning, Cat was awakened by a nagging itching on her butt. When she reached back to scratch it, she encountered Billie, who was spooned up close to her. Cat wedged her hand down between their naked bodies and tended to the itch, only to be nagged by another one on the other cheek. “Damn.” She rolled over onto her stomach and tried unsuccessfully to look over her shoulder at her butt.

  Billie was awakened by Cat’s fidgeting. She raised herself onto one elbow and looked at Cat. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

  “My butt itches.”

  Billie rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “Run that by me again?”