Happy Campers

by Karen D. Badger

  Billie frowned at him and tilted her head slightly in Cat’s direction.

  “Oh! Uh, Billie, how about joining me and the boys?”

  Billie broke into a relieved smile. “I’d love to go fishing,” she said, as nonchalantly as she could.

  Cat reached across the table and tilted Billie’s chin. “You’re so transparent, my love. Go. Have a good time, and catch us some dinner. ’Kay?”

  Billie kissed Cat tenderly. “Thanks.” She grabbed her fishing pole to follow Fred and the boys down the trail to the lake, but stopped part way down the trail. “Cat, why don’t you get me a new cell phone while you’re out?”

  “Billie, I’d really rather you were there to pick it out.”

  “My last phone was just like yours. Just get me another one similar to that. I’ll be happy with whatever you pick out.”

  “Okay, but don’t complain if you don’t like it.”

  “Deal. Love you!” Billie scurried down the path after Fred and the boys.

  Cat watched her go, then turned and looked at Jen. Jen raised her hand and accepted the high five from Cat.

  “Way to go, O Wise One,” Jen said. “Now we can shop till we drop without listening to them whining.”

  “Never doubt there’s a method to my madness. Now go take your shower so we can hit the road.”

  While the ladies enjoyed a day at the mall, Billie, Fred, and the boys basked in the sunlight in a boat in the middle of the lake, happily trying to catch dinner.

  “I got a bite!” Stevie whipped his pole back, and the line went slack.

  “You probably ripped the hook right out of his mouth,” Fred said. “Pull back more gently next time. Reel in your line, so I can see if you have any worm left.”

  “What a beautiful day,” Billie said. “The sunshine feels great. This is definitely better than dragging my butt through the stores behind Cat.”

  “You got that right,” Fred said as he handed another worm to Stevie. “I hate shopping. It’s got to be the most boring thing on Earth, except for maybe visiting the in-laws.” Fred pointed his finger at Stevie. “Don’t tell your mother I said that.”

  “That’s where I’m lucky. I like my in-laws. Doc and Ida are great, and Cat’s sisters are a hoot, especially when they’re all together.”

  “She has three sisters, right?”

  “Yes. She’s third in line. There’s Amy, Bridget, Cat, and Drew. Get it? A, B, C, and D.”

  “Well, that’s inventive.”

  “Mom, I got a big one. Help!” Seth’s pole was nearly bent in half.

  “Keep the tension on it, son,” Fred said. “That’s it, hold your pole back and reel it in steady-like, and don’t stop or it’ll give him slack and let him spit the hook.” Fred looked at Billie and Stevie. “Reel your lines in so Seth’s fish doesn’t get caught up in them.”

  Fred reeled his own line in and set his pole inside the boat. Seth struggled to hold on to his pole and reel at the same time, as the fish took a beeline under the boat.

  “Keep the tension on it, Seth. You’re doing fine.” Fred grabbed the net just as the fish cleared the surface of the water.

  “Argh! He’s gonna to get off!” Seth yelled.

  The fish dove back into the water and once more headed under the boat, nearly taking Seth’s pole with him. Stevie leaned way over the side to see the fish. The top rim of the boat came precariously close to the water. Billie grabbed his shirt and pulled him back. “Whoa, get back here. It won’t do us, or Seth’s fish any good if we capsize the boat,” she said.

  The fish headed toward clear water. Seth’s reel squealed as the fish pulled out more line.

  “Mom, help me,” Seth yelled.

  Billie maneuvered herself onto the seat behind her son and wrapped her arms around him. She grasped the fishing pole and pulled back. “Reel!” she yelled.

  Seth reeled as Billie kept tension on the pole. For the next five minutes, they struggled to gain ground as the fish continually pulled line out of the reel.

  “Hold steady,” Fred said. “It should begin to tire soon.”

  True to his words, the squealing stopped and Seth was finally able to make progress against the fish as he reeled with all his might. “How much line is on this reel?” he complained.

  “Just be patient. We’re almost there,” Fred said.

  All four occupants of the boat stared intently at the point where Seth’s line disappeared into the water. Suddenly, a gray object appeared near the surface.

  “There it is,” Fred said as he gently lowered the net into the water and positioned it just behind Seth’s line. “That’s it. Keep reeling.” Fred suddenly scooped the net upward. “Got it,” he exclaimed as he lifted the net out of the water and into the boat.

  “Wow!” Seth said. “It’s a monster.”

  “That it is. Ya done good,” Fred said as he accepted a high five from Seth.

  They all watched as the lake bass flopped around on the bottom of the boat, tangling itself in the net. Seth beamed at his mother. “Thanks for helping, Mom. I would’ve lost him if you didn’t help.”

  “Looks like we’ll be bringing back dinner after all,” she replied. “Nice job.”

  Fred untangled the large fish from the net and hooked the scale in the corner of its mouth. He lifted it high into the air and studied the digital read out. “Looks like a ten-pounder. Cool!”

  Stevie rebaited his hook and cast his line into the water. “My turn,” he said.

  * * *

  Cat, Jen, and the girls stood in line to be seated at a busy restaurant in the mall.

  “Do you really think she’ll like it, Jen?” Cat asked.

  “Of course, what’s not to like? She said to get a phone like yours.”

  “I know, but sometimes she’s just so picky.”

  “Well, beggars can’t be choosers. She could have come with us to pick it out herself, but she chose to go fishing instead. God only knows why. I can’t imagine ever choosing fishing over shopping.”

  “I’m with you on that one, sistah. Billie took me fishing once, and I fell asleep sitting on the lawn chair. A fish bit on my line and pulled the pole right out of my hands. It startled me awake, but not in time for me to grab it before the fish swam away, pulling my pole behind it. I never laughed so hard in my life. Needless to say, Billie was not amused.”

  “When we were dating, Fred took me fishing. He was quite exasperated because I wouldn’t bait the hook. There was no way in hell I was touching that slimy worm, much less sticking a hook through it. It looked way too much like a small snake. I watched him do it once, and some type of liquid, I could only imagine was worm piss, flew out and hit him on the cheek. I told him he had to be crazy to voluntarily subject himself to a worm pissing on him. And when I actually caught a fish, I refused to take it off myself. He said he could have accomplished the same result if he had gone fishing by himself and used two poles.”

  “Mom, the buzzer just went off,” Karissa said. She held the flashing pager toward her mother.

  “Great. That means our table is ready. Here comes the hostess to seat us.”

  * * *

  Fred rowed the rented boat quickly toward land and ran it aground on the sandy shore. Billie hopped out and pulled the nose further onto the sand to stabilize it as they all climbed out. Fred turned his back to Billie to retrieve their gear from the boat.

  “Holy shit, Fred! Look at your back! I knew taking your shirt off was a mistake.”

  Fred glanced over his shoulder. “Ah, that's nothing. Don't worry about it.”

  Billie looked at him doubtfully as she grabbed the stringer of fish and the tackle box. The boys took the poles and other tackle and headed back to the campsite, with Fred walking ahead of them. “I don’t know, Fred. It looks really bad from back here.” She pushed her baseball cap further back on her head.

  Fred flexed his shoulders. “It does sting a little. Maybe you’re right.”

  “I suspect it will sting a lot,
very soon,” Billie said. “I’ll rub some aloe on it when we get back to camp,” she offered.

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  * * *

  “I’ll get this one,” Cat said as she grabbed the bill in Jen’s hand. They played tug-of-war with the piece of paper for a moment or two.

  “Only if you let me buy next time.”

  “Deal.”

  “We’ll meet you outside,” Jen said as she gathered their children and their purchases while Cat paid the bill. Cat’s phone rang just as she rejoined Jen in the mall. “Fred?” Cat answered.

  “Nope. It’s Billie.”

  “Why are you calling me on Fred’s phone?”

  “Because mine’s missing in action, remember?”

  “Duh, of course. Is everything okay? The kids—”

  “The kids are fine. Fred, however, is another story. I need you to stop at an herbal medicine store and pick up some more aloe salve, lots of it.”

  “Aloe salve?” Cat asked. Then suddenly remembering that they used the salve for burns, she said, “God, Billie, he didn’t!”

  Cat glanced at Jen, who was standing at her elbow, a questioning look on her face.

  “He did. Red as a lobster,” Billie replied.

  “And what about you and the kids?”

  “No problem. We all had our shirts and hats on. Fred’s the only cooked goose here.”

  “Okay. Aloe salve, lots of it. I think there’s an herbal store right here in the mall. We’ll be on our way soon. We should be there in half an hour.”

  “Okay. See you in a bit. Love you.”

  “Love you too. Bye.” Cat closed her cell phone and slipped it into her purse.

  Jen looked at Cat. “Well?”

  “Did you bring sunscreen?” Cat asked Jen.

  Jen looked at her blankly for a moment, then realization hit. “Oh God, tell me he didn’t. Damn! Sometimes I swear that man has shit for brains,” she exclaimed.

  “Aloe salve... herbal store,” Cat directed as the two women gathered up the girls. Ten minutes later, they were headed toward the car and on their way back to a badly sunburned Fred.

  * * *

  “Kill me, Jen, please.” Fred sat bent over at the picnic table, his head lying on his crossed arms while Jen rubbed the soothing salve across his shoulders.

  “All right, I'm finished,” she announced. “Here, put this back on.” She handed him his shirt.

  Fred refused. “I really don’t want to put anything on it.”

  Jen glared at him impatiently.

  Billie stood near the campfire, stoking it to life for the burgers they planned to grill for lunch. The area surrounding the fire ring was bathed in bright sunlight. “Fred, c’mere a minute, will you?” she said.

  Fred slowly rose to his feet. He moaned. “Damn. It feels like every little movement is stretching the burnt skin on my back. My nerve endings are protesting pretty loudly right now.”

  When he reached Billie, she handed him the poker. “Here, stoke this up for me while I line the grill with foil. Okay?”

  Fred took the poker and started moving the coals around as Billie walked toward Jen with a grin.

  “What are you smiling about?” Jen asked.

  “Just wait, and learn.”

  The two women watched as the heat from the growing fire combined with the sun beating down on Fred’s back made him squirm.

  “I think he’s had enough. Give me his shirt,” Billie said. She winked at Jen, then walked back to Fred. Fred looked up as she neared, and she could clearly see the pain on his face. She handed the shirt to him. “Ready to put this on now?”

  He growled at her, grabbing for the shirt. “Women!” he muttered. “Always have to prove a point.”

  Jen quickly went to Fred and helped him pull the T-shirt down over his shoulders with as little discomfort as possible, while Billie walked over to Cat, who was making hamburger patties.

  “You’re so mean,” Cat said, a half smile curling her lips. “I saw what you did to Fred.”

  Billie’s attention was on Cat’s hands, which were squeezing and shaping the ground beef into a circle. She was clearly mesmerized by the sight.

  “Billie?” Cat asked, drawing Billie’s attention away from the meat in her hands.

  “What? Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What did you say?”

  Cat leaned into Billie’s neck and left a light kiss there before pulling away to look into her eyes. “Just what were you distracted by, my tall lover?” she asked seductively.

  Billie’s body jolted at the kiss. She gulped audibly and looked back into pools of emerald green.

  Cat never broke eye contact as she lowered the burger to the foil covered grill, then wiped her hands on the towel lying on the table.

  Billie ran her tongue across suddenly parched lips as she held Cat’s gaze.

  Cat reached across the table for a bowl of strawberries and chose an especially succulent one. She parted her lips ever so slightly to allow the ripe berry into her own mouth, following the berry with her tongue, licking the sweet juice from the fingertips, snaking it out moments later to lap up the juice that had run down her chin.

  Billie’s eyes opened wide. “God, Cat!” she whispered hoarsely.

  Cat reached for another berry and lifted it towards Billie’s mouth. Billie’s lips closed around Cat’s fingers as the smaller woman pushed the berry past her teeth. Cat threw her head back and closed her eyes. Intense desire jolted her to her very core as Billie sucked her fingers clean. “Billie,” she whispered.

  “Okay, you two, any more of that and those burgers will be cooked by just your body heat,” Jen teased as she approached.

  Cat and Billie looked embarrassed as their eyes roamed around the campsite, skillfully avoiding Jen’s smirking face.

  “Besides, you’re making me jealous,” Jen added. “With Fred in that condition,” she gestured at Fred sitting in the shade away from the fire, “it’s going to be a lonely night.”

  Billie grinned as she looked down at Jen. “With Fred in that condition, plan on several lonely nights.”

  “Ahhh! I hate you!” Jen slapped Billie’s arm and stomped away.

  Billie looked at Cat and smiled. “Now, what was it you were saying about being mean?” she asked as she drew Cat’s fingers towards her mouth.

  Chapter 22: A Face Only a Mother Could Love

  Billie, Cat, and Jen sat around the campfire that evening in silence. It was nearly midnight, and the children were fast asleep in their tents, worn out from a busy day. Billie was busily setting up the preferences on her new cell phone.

  “Dinner was great, Cat,” Jen said.

  “We have Billie, Fred, and the boys to thank for it,” she replied.

  Billie looked up from her phone. “I don’t know how you do it. Everything you cook turns out so tasty.”

  Cat grinned. “That’s because you have only your own cooking to compare it to, love.”

  “Ouch!” Billie grasped her chest.

  “Am I right?”

  “Busted.”

  “You can thank Jen for the suggestion of cooking it in the coals.”

  “That’s the way my mom used to do it when we camped. Wrap the fish in aluminum foil and throw them on the coals. In fact, she cooked a lot of our camping meals that way: fish, chicken, corn on the cob.”

  Cat nodded. “Well, it was a great idea.”

  “You can bet it’ll be the only fish meal we eat on this trip,” Billie said. “I don’t think Fred will be in any condition to go fishing for a while.”

  “He has second-degree burns on his shoulders. I can only imagine how much pain he’s in right now. He’ll surely blister,” Cat added.

  “I swear that man is dumber than a box of rocks sometimes. He knows better than to stay in the sun too long without sunscreen. He’s paler than a ghost and burns so easily. That’s why he’s such an old mother hen about the kids wearing it. What was he thinking?” Jen griped.

  Billie ch
uckled. “He was thinking that he needed to make his escape before you dragged all of us shopping with you.”

  “I’d venture a guess that he wishes he’d gone shopping with us now.”

  “You’re probably right. I hope he’s getting some rest,” Billie said.

  “He’s actually in the tent instead of out here because he’s worried about the heat from the campfire making him uncomfortable. I suspect he won’t sleep very well tonight.”

  “Slather him down with the aloe before you go to bed,” Cat suggested. “It won’t do that much for the pain, but it’s important to keep the skin as moist as possible while it heals. It’s going to itch like a bastard if it dries out too much.”

  “Thanks for the advice. I think I’ll head that way right now. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Jen hugged both ladies before heading toward her tent.

  “G’night,” Cat and Billie called.

  “Thanks for picking up my new phone.”

  “You’re welcome. I hope you like it. Apparently, it’s the latest in Smart Phone technology,” Cat said.

  “Very cool.”

  “Don’t lose this one. It was really expensive.”

  “I’ll guard it with my life.” Billie slipped the phone into her pocket and picked up a long stick beside her chair to poke at the fire. “I feel sorry for Fred.”

  “I do, too. He’s in for a few very uncomfortable days.”

  Billie sat back in her chair, lifted Cat’s hand to her lips, and kissed her knuckles.

  Cat smiled. “Are you having fun, Billie?”

  Billie chuckled. “I’m not sure I’d exactly call it fun, but moments like this—spending time with you, alone, with the crickets chirping and the frogs singing, and the smell of a campfire burning, and most of all, with the moonlight reflecting off your hair—well, it gives me a feeling of warmth and gratitude for everything we have together. I love you, Cat.”

  “I love you, too. Thank you for coming on this trip. I know everything hasn’t been perfect, but we’re here together, as a family. We’ll never be able to get this time back.”