Happy Campers

by Karen D. Badger

  “Stevie broke the wheels off my car, Ma,” Seth explained angrily.

  “I did not,” Steve denied. “They were already like that.”

  “Enough!” Cat yelled, restraining Tara from lunging at Stevie again.

  Billie reached out and scooped Tara up into her arms. “Okay, rug rat, calm down and tell me what happened,” she said to her daughter.

  “Mom, I saw Stevie push Seth. Let me go. I’m gonna pound him!” Tara demanded, squirming to get out of her mother’s arms.

  Billie took Tara’s chin in her hand and looked her straight in the eyes. “You’ll do nothing of the sort, young lady. Do you hear me?” she scolded.

  “But Mom!” Tara protested.

  “I said no. Do you understand?”

  Tara crossed her arms in front of her and stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. Billie set her back down on the ground and kept a restraining hand on her shoulder as she addressed the group. “All right, then,” Billie said. “Seth, what happened here?”

  “The wheels are broken off my car. Stevie was playing with it,” Seth accused.

  “Did you see him break the car, Seth?” Billie asked. Seth set his jaw firmly in place before shaking his head. “Well, then, you don’t really know that he did it, right?”

  Seth’s forehead creased into a deep scowl. Kicking the dirt with the toe of his shoe, he said grudgingly, “I guess not.”

  “Okay, then, I think it would do us all some good if we split up for a while and cooled off,” Billie suggested. “Okay?”

  “That’s a very good idea,” Jen said. “Stevie, Karissa, I want the two of you to come over here for a while.”

  “And you three...” Cat said, beckoning to her own children “...can play together over here.” She motioned to the opposite side of the campsite.

  Cat watched as Fred led Stevie and Karissa to the picnic table and dug out the coloring books and crayons. Not realizing that Jen was still within hearing range, Cat muttered, “Spoiled brat” under her breath, indicating exactly what she thought of Stevie’s behavior.

  Jen was on Cat in an instant, grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around.

  “What was that?” she demanded, her nose within an inch of Cat’s face.

  Billie immediately grabbed Jen around the waist and pulled her away from Cat, depositing her on her butt in the bushes next to their own tent before returning to Cat. Billie glanced over at Fred and sent a silent message to him to keep his family on his side of the campsite for the time being. Fred nodded slightly as he helped a very angry Jen out of the bushes.

  Not a half hour after the skirmish, the children were playing again, totally oblivious to what had caused their earlier spat. Promising to look after their sisters, Stevie and Seth escorted the girls to the playground just a short distance from the campsite, while their parents contemplated how they were going to fix dinner from their community food stores without talking to each other.

  Billie watched her wife and their friend pace back and forth along the imaginary line dividing the campsite in half, each one sending furtive looks at the other as though sizing up an enemy for battle. Fred sat on the other side of the campsite, his head following them back and forth as if he was watching a tennis match. When Billie couldn’t stand it any more, she stood and raised her arms into the air.

  “Okay, children, at this rate, we’re all going to starve. Time to kiss and make up,” she announced.

  Jen and Cat stopped and looked at each other, then looked at Billie as though she was crazy.

  Billie tried again. “The kids had a spat. It happens. They’re already playing together again,” she pointed out. “Get over it.”

  Jen and Cat turned their backs on each other and crossed their arms, each holding her ground, neither wanting to be the first to give in.

  Billie stood with her hands on her hips, looking at the two women in disbelief. “I can’t believe this,” she said, exasperated. “You two are acting like babies.”

  Cat was the first to object. “She started it, Billie.”

  “Bullshit!” Jen exclaimed. “Your son started it.”

  Billie’s feathers ruffled at the accusation, and she clenched her fists and jaw. She was tempted to show Jen just what happened to people who attacked her family, but instead, she took a deep breath and refused to be baited. Cat had no such reservations; she scooted around Billie and got into Jen’s face, once again rehashing the argument about sandcastles and undisciplined children.

  Billie held Fred back as he stepped forward to break them up. Beckoning him to follow her, she grabbed the bucket and dishpan and led him to the spigot. Seconds later, Cat and Jen found themselves doused with cold water, gasping for breath as they wiped the water out of their faces. Their eyes shot back and forth between Billie and Fred, who stood there grinning, empty containers in hand.

  “Had enough?” Billie asked.

  Cat was furious. She faced her attackers, hands on her hips, feet shoulder width apart. “You’ve got two minutes to explain why that was necessary, Billie,” she demanded angrily.

  Billie walked over to Cat and leaned down into her face. “It was necessary because the two of you…” she pointed to Jen without looking at her “...were acting like spoiled children who needed cooling off. That's why.”

  Cat looked at Jen, taking in the wet hair and dirt smudges on their faces and clothes. Cat grinned and covered her mouth with her hand to prevent a laugh from escaping. Jen looked shyly at the ground, then back at her friend, and broke into a full-fledged grin.

  Billie stepped aside to let Cat pass as she walked over to Jen and extended her hand. Soon the two friends were laughing and hugging, apologizing for their behavior. After Cat and Jen cleaned up, they prepared burgers for the grill while Fred and Billie took care of stoking up the campfire and setting the picnic table for their evening meal. When they were finished, Billie fished two beers out of the cooler and handed one to Fred. They sat down side by side in front of the campfire while their wives completed preparations for dinner. Billie lifted her beer in toast to Fred, very proud of herself for resolving the feud between the two ladies. All of a sudden, they found themselves sluiced with sheets of cold water.

  “What the hell!” she and Fred exclaimed together as they jumped out of their chairs and swung around to face their attackers.

  Empty containers in hand, Cat and Jen smiled. “Paybacks are a bitch, love.” Cat stood on tiptoe and kissed Billie lightly on the lips, then walked away, swinging the bucket.

  Chapter 26: Bear With Me

  Later that evening, after the children were asleep, the adults sat around the campfire contemplating their day. The atmosphere was infinitely more congenial than earlier that afternoon, but a hint of uneasiness remained. With their chairs in a semicircle around the campfire, Jen and Cat bookended by Billie and Fred, the friends sat quietly, staring into the flames. When the silence became unbearable, Cat reached toward Jen and placed her hand, palm up, on the armrest of Jen’s lawn chair. Jen looked over at her and smiled, placing her hand in Cat’s and lacing their fingers together in a bond of friendship.

  “I’m sorry, Jen,” Cat said softly, capturing Jen’s gaze.

  “Me, too,” Jen replied, squeezing her fingers a little tighter around Cat’s.

  A more comfortable silence descended over the group like a blanket. After a time, Jen broke the silence. “Why do you think it happened, Cat?”

  “I assume you’re talking about our little disagreement today?”

  Jen flashed Cat a crooked smile. “Yeah.”

  Cat took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t know. It could be that we’re not used to living in such proximity, and we’re getting on each other’s nerves,” she reasoned.

  “You may be right,” Jen said. “In any case, I’m afraid we haven’t set a very good example for the kids.”

  “Don’t worry about the kids,” Billie interjected. “They know better than anyone that it’s okay to let off steam and then get
on with the fun. Heck, they were playing again just minutes after they started fighting. We’re the ones who couldn’t let go of the anger. If anything, they set an example for us.”

  “Maybe you’re right, Billie. Maybe you’re right.” Jen yawned.

  “Looks like someone is tired.” Fred clasped Jen’s chin. “Ready to turn in, love?”

  Jen smiled and nodded. She showered both of her friends with hugs and kisses before wishing them pleasant dreams, then following Fred into their tent.

  Once Fred and Jen were gone, Billie doused the campfire, then reached her hand toward Cat, helping her out of her chair. Billie kissed each knuckle of Cat’s hand in turn, all the while keeping her eyes on the fire.

  Cat’s heart began to pound wildly in her chest. She tilted her head to one side and closed her eyes as Billie’s lips roamed over the sensitive skin on the back of her hand.

  “Hmmm. I’ll give you two hours to stop that,” Cat whispered.

  Billie responded by turning Cat’s hand over and kissing her palm, then slowly working her way toward Cat’s wrist to the tender skin on the inside of her forearm.

  Cat gasped with pleasure as Billie's tongue flitted around the crook of her elbow and worked its way upwards across her bicep before finding the hollow on her neck carved out by her collarbone. Cat tilted her head back to allow Billie greater access to her neck.

  Billie cupped the side of Cat’s face and righted her head so that she was looking deeply into her eyes. Billie’s gaze roamed over Cat’s face, watching the firelight dance patterns across her lover’s brow and set her hair ablaze with autumn colors.

  “Cat, you have the power to stop my heart with one look.”

  Billie’s breath came in rapid pants.

  Cat looked deeply into the depth of Billie’s azure eyes, then leaned forward and touched her forehead to Billie’s. She closed her eyes and whispered words meant only for Billie’s ears. “Make love to me, Billie. I need to feel you. Make me yours.”

  Billie cradled Cat’s face between her palms and kissed her with wild abandon, her tongue seeking and gaining access to the sweetness within. For long moments, the women tasted each other, tongues memorizing every hidden curve and crevice, faces canted to maximize their pleasure.

  Soon Billie abandoned Cat’s mouth and placed a string of kisses along her jawline and down her neck. Cat clung to Billie’s head by two handfuls of dark hair, holding her captive, begging for the nips and bites that were flooding her with spasms of desire.

  “Billie... please.” Cat grabbed at Billie’s tank top, trying to push it down over her shoulder. “Please...”

  Billie captured Cat’s bottom lip between her teeth, before invading once more with her tongue. In one smooth motion, she reached under Cat’s legs and easily lifted her up without breaking the contact between their mouths, and then walked toward their tent. Dropping to one knee, she rested Cat there as she reached over and unzipped their tent. Moments later, they were lying side by side on the sleeping bags, hands roaming over one another with an urgency born of heated sexual need.

  Cat made short work of Billie’s clothing, throwing each piece into the corner of the tent as she removed it from Billie’s body.

  “God, Cat, I want you so much,” Billie growled as she pushed Cat’s T-shirt over her head.

  Cat arched her back to raise her chest closer to Billie. Billie accepted the blatant invitation as she leaned down to take Cat’s sweet offering into her mouth, nipping and sucking, capturing the swollen nubs between her teeth until tiny cries escaped Cat’s lips and tremors of desire radiated through her lover’s body.

  “Billie, you’re driving me mad.”

  Just as Billie reached down to unbutton Cat’s shorts, a loud shuffling noise sounded outside their tent. Billie’s head snapped up, ears perked and listening for further sounds.

  Cat’s desire dulled her senses, and confusion set in at her lover’s sudden retreat. “Billie, don’t tease me like this, please,” Cat begged, trying to pull Billie’s mouth back toward her breasts.

  Billie placed her index finger across her own lips. “Shhhh,” she hissed, then she strained to hear.

  “What is it?” Cat asked, finally realizing that something else had caught Billie’s attention.

  “I don’t know. Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Billie pulled on her shorts and T-shirt, then grabbed the flashlight and clicked it on. Holding the light out in front of her, she unzipped the tent and slowly made her way outside. She scanned the entire campsite with the bright yellow beam, allowing it to fall on each of the other tents, assuring herself that all was safe and secure.

  During her walk around the perimeter of the camp, she came across a set of animal prints near the refuse barrel. Billie smiled to herself as she said under her breath, “Critters. Harmless enough. I must have scared them off.” She scanned the site one last time. Satisfied they were safe, she turned back toward their tent, looking forward to an evening that promised to bring out her own animalistic nature.

  Had anyone else been awake, they would have been convinced that there were indeed wild critters around, at least two of them, critters that growled and groaned, and occasionally giggled before shrieking out in near ear-piercing tones, and then quieting down for the night.

  The early hours of the next morning found Cat and Billie entwined in a lover’s embrace, to the point where it was not obvious where one naked body started and the other left off. It was in this position that they greeted the dawn. It was from this position that Cat struggled to free herself in order to answer the call of nature. Finally escaping the circle of Billie’s arms, she quickly located and donned her T-Shirt and shorts before making her way out of the tent and up the trail to the bathhouse.

  Cat was still half asleep as she walked to the bathroom and back, her eyes barely open. Her intention was to return to bed, to the arms of her wife. It was with these thoughts that Cat approached their campsite. It was with these thoughts that she blindly walked toward their tent and nearly into the arms of an intruder—a tall, hairy, black, 300 pound intruder, with big teeth and sharp claws. Cat stopped dead, a mere twenty feet separating her from their visitor. Paralyzed with fear, she did the only thing she could think of, she screamed.

  Within seconds, the entire campsite erupted, as did a few neighboring sites. The bear reared up onto its hind legs, teeth exposed, guttural growls emanating from its throat. Fred, Jen, and Billie hurried from their tents. All five of the kids were still inside their tents, but peering out through the unzipped windows. Shrieks were coming from the girls’ tent, while exclamations of “Wow!” and “Cool!” came from the boys.

  “Everybody freeze,” Billie shouted. “And don’t make any threatening moves,” she commanded.

  Cat stood her ground, frozen to the spot, terrified as the face-off began. The bear dropped to all fours and slowly moved toward Cat.

  “Cat, please don’t move,” Billie urged.

  Cat stood ramrod straight, not moving a muscle as the bear circled and sniffed her. “Oh, God! Oh, God!” Cat muttered under her breath.

  When the bear apparently decided that Cat was just a weird looking tree, he walked away from her and pursued his original goal – raiding the food stores. Within minutes, the food locker was torn open and the rest of the supplies eaten or scattered about by the carnivore. All the while, the two families were rooted where they stood, motionless and terrified.

  The bear made short work of their food supplies, then turned and sauntered back toward the forest, but fell short of his goal, victim of a tranquilizer dart from the park ranger’s gun. One of the neighboring sites had apparently summoned the ranger, and he had arrived in time to stop the perpetrator from fleeing the scene of the crime. Fortunately for the campers, the only victim had been their food supply.

  As soon as it became obvious the bear was down for the count, Cat ran to Billie and wrapped her arms around her waist. She was shaking and in a state of shock. Billie wrapped her arms around Cat and
held her close, as she silently asked Fred and Jen to check on the kids.

  When Cat calmed enough to take in her surroundings, she leaned back in Billie’s embrace and looked into her face. “Do you always have to take things so literally, love?”

  Billie was confused and raised an eyebrow in query. “Bare essentials. Bare necessities. Barefoot In the Park. Or, in this case, in the campground,” Cat prompted as she ran her eyes up and down Billie’s body.

  All of a sudden, Billie realized that she was standing there stark naked, surrounded by her friends, family, the park ranger and neighboring campers, not to mention one comatose black bear. “Holy shit!” She dove for the cover of their tent.

  Cat threw her head back and laughed. “I can barely take all this excitement,” she exclaimed.

  “Caaaatttt!” came the warning voice from inside their tent.

  Cat continued to pick. “Bear with us, Billie. We’ll only tease you about this for say... a week.”

  “Caitlain Maureen O’Grady Charland, stop that right now!”

  “Uh-oh. She’s using my full name,” Cat said to the audience of friends and family. “I’m shaking in my boots out here, Billie. I can’t possibly bear up under this burden of fear,” she teased.

  Without warning, Billie shot out of the tent, fully dressed.

  “Holy Zeus,” Cat exclaimed as she turned and ran as fast as she could down the trail, a grinning Billie close on her heels.

  Chapter 27: You Can Lead a Horse to Water, But You Can’t Make It Cook

  Billie and Cat returned to the campsite to find the park ranger talking to Fred and Jen, while another ranger stood over the unconscious bear with a second tranquilizer dart at the ready. The children huddled nearby, anxious to get a good look at the bear.

  “Ma’am, I’ll have to ask you all to vacate your campsites until arrangements can be made for the zoo to collect this animal,” the park ranger said.