A Fateful Farewell

by James Kilcullen

  He put his other personal papers, his mobile phone with sim card removed, his laptop and hold-all in a black refuse sack, keeping a couple of thousand pounds in notes which he stuffed into his coat pocket; enough to bury him if the need arose.

  Taking the spade he walked up the hillside at the back of the house, dug a hole two feet deep and buried the lot, carefully replacing the surface sod.

  He would walk to the cliff top before dawn.

  ***

  It was a long lonely night; he wished he’d bought a bottle of whiskey. He lay down on the bed fully dressed; he couldn’t sleep. He thought about mother, Matthew and granny. It would be wonderful if he could meet them again, but that wasn’t on. He got up and made coffee; checked his arrangements; thought back over his life; there were many good times but he really made a mess of it in the end; there was only himself to blame; he could have done things differently. What the hell; it was over; all he wanted now was oblivion. He lay down on the bed again.

  ***

  He walked briskly down the hill shortly after daybreak; he met no one on the way; it took him nearly an hour to reach the cliff top. During this his final walk his thoughts turned again to his mother, Walter and Granny. He would leave this bleak world with his love for them uppermost in his mind.

  As he reached the vicinity of the cliff top he looked around to make sure he wasn’t being observed. He looked down at the deep waters of the bay far below; gazed one last time at the sun rising in the eastern sky. He closed his eyes; his mind was perfectly clear: It was best this way; he stepped out to the edge.

  He was suddenly conscious of something brushing up against his left leg. He looked down; it was a black and white sheep dog; his owner must be around here somewhere. The dog barked looking up at him.

  Damn; he’d have to get rid of the dog before he could proceed. He looked around for its owner; there was no one in sight; maybe he was from one of the houses on the main road.

  ‘Get to hell out of here,’ he ordered but the dog didn’t move. He just stood there looking up at him. If I walk away he’ll take off with himself; he walked down the hill; the dog followed; still no sign of his owner.

  The solution was simple; find the owner and then return to complete his plans. The dog followed him faithfully; none of the local people owned him. He walked on to Maggie Andy’s; the dog followed him into the shop. She was busily stocking the shelves with fresh pans.

  ‘Do you know who owns this dog; he seems to have attached himself to me?’

  She looked at him closely. ‘I’ve never seen him before; he’s not from around here.’

  ‘I have to go away for a few days; would you mind him while I’m away. I’ll pay you of course.’

  ‘No need for payment. Put him in the kitchen at the back.’

  ‘I’m very grateful to you. Could I have some cooked ham, potatoes and salad cream?’

  There would be so many people around he would now have to post phone until the following morning. The dog followed him into the kitchen and barked loudly when he closed the door and made his escape.

  ***

  He wandered slowly up the hill towards the cottage; it was a lovely sunny morning now with the cloud free conical top of the nearby Reek standing majestically above the bay. He was still in a daze, wondering why the hell he was still here.

  Cedric Pollard was sitting outside his house sipping a coffee. He stood up, smiled, came forward offering his hand in welcome and introduced himself.

  They shook hands.

  ‘Come and have a coffee,’ Cedric offered.

  John smiled. ‘Thank you; I need one.’

  ‘Sugar?’

  ‘Two spoons please.’

  John put down his shopping and took a seat; he liked his outgoing neighbour, about forty he thought, casually dressed; lightly built with grey blue eyes and a kindly expression. He disappeared into the house and returned a few minutes later with a steaming mug of coffee.

  He grinned when he looked at his visitor’s shopping bag.

  ‘I see you’ve been to Maggie Andy’s so you must know all about me.’

  John smiled. ‘I don’t listen to gossip.’

  ‘I’m sure most of it is true. For a lady who knows all about everyone she never talks about herself. I’ll bet she grilled you.’

  ‘She did her best but RG had warned me about her.’

  ‘Now there’s an interesting character; the uncrowned king of Westport. When his wife died some years ago he became friendly with a very attractive young widow. Shortly afterwards she moved into his palatial home out the Castlebar Road. Don’t get me wrong; I like RG.’

  John suddenly realised he had things to do at the cottage.

  ‘I like him too. I think I’d better be getting back.’

  ‘Would you like to drop in tonight; I’ve got some good Poitin.’

  ‘I’ll do that.’

  ***

  Back at the cottage, he rang Ned and put off collection of the car until the morning. He hadn’t had a decent meal for four days and his stomach was beginning to rumble. To hell with it, he thought I don’t want to starve myself to death. He drove into town and found a good restaurant where he did justice to a fillet steak with onions and mash. He topped it off with a bottle of red wine.

  As he drove out by the quay his sense of humour showed signs of re-emerging; wouldn’t it be hilarious if he was arrested for drunk driving. His good humour was short lived; when he pulled up in front of the cottage the fucking dog was sitting there waiting for him. Would he not let him go in peace?

  The dog got up and rushed towards him barking joyfully; he stood on his hind legs and pushed into him. Unhappy as he was he couldn’t deny him; he put his arms around him and hugged him. What am I going to call you? You’re like Jack-in-the-box; I’ll call you Jack, but I’m still going ahead with my plans.

  ***

  When he drove down to Cedric’s that night, having put Ned off again, Jack sat beside him in the passenger seat. After a glass of Poitin he explained that he would be going away for a while. Was there a kennels where he could put Jack while he was away? There’s one in Castlebar he was told; Cedric offered to mind him. He thanked him sincerely but refused to impose on him.

  He didn’t remember much about getting home; when he awakened with a hangover in the morning Jack was sitting at the end of his bed indicating his need to get out. He rose and let him out, then lay on the bed.

  ***

  Later in the morning he drove into Castlebar with Jack sitting beside him. He parked in a car park in the centre of the town and got directions to the dogs’ kennel. He walked there followed by Jack; it was run by a young lady who was very helpful. She showed him a wired cage where he put Jack who barked angrily when he realised he was trapped.

  He had lunch in a nearby restaurant. He felt guilty and lonely now; he had deserted Jack just like so many others had deserted him. Afterwards he returned to the kennels to see if he was all right; Jack jumped up barking and wagging his tail when he saw him.

  He just couldn’t leave him; he approached the young lady and told her he’d changed his mind but refused her offer to return the fee. When she opened the cage Jack leapt up into his arms; he hugged him tearfully and led him to the car. Back in Westport he parked the car and bought a good supply of dog food.

  He knew now he could not proceed with his plans until he returned Jack to his owner but first he had to find him.

  ***

  Back at the cottage he rang Ned again to change his arrangements. He fed the dog who settled down happily beside him while he watched TV. It was beginning to dawn on him that he’d become so fond of the animal he wasn’t sure he wanted to find the owner; it was all so damn confusing. Before he went to bed he let Jack out for short break.

  He woke up with a sharp pain in the groin; he lay there in agony. It was near dawn. Jack became restless; he wanted to go out. John struggled out of the bed staggered to the door and let him out. Then, he went back and lay on the
bed.

  The agony continued; he lost track of time. The next thing he knew Cedric was standing over him with his mobile phone in his hand while Jack looked on.

  ‘I’m getting an ambulance John; I’ve got to get you to hospital.’

  He was too far gone to care. What happened next was a blur; he vaguely remembered being carried out on a stretcher and put in the back of the ambulance which took off at speed. When it finally stopped, the stretcher was lifted out and carried quickly down a long well-lighted corridor.

  Lifted into a hospital bed he was examined by a doctor while a staff nurse awaited his instructions.

  ‘Appendicitis,’ he announced completing his examination. ‘Prepare him for surgery nurse.’

  The attractive looking nurse took him in hand.

  ‘I’m going to give you a pain killing injection John and then I’ll take your particulars before we go to theatre.’

  ‘Thank you nurse.’

  She took a hypodermic needle from a tray beside her and gave him a shot in the arm.

  ‘Just call me Kate. The injection will help to relax you. It’s not a serious operation; you’ll be fine in no time. Just a few details first, then we’ll be off to theatre; I’ll be with you all the time.’

  ‘You are very kind Kate.’

  It was routine: two of his answers surprised her. Next of kin – no one. Religion – none.

  ***

  Later, he came too back in his bed. When the fog cleared he was looking up into Kate’s smile; he hadn’t realised she was so beautiful.

  ‘I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.’

  ‘That’s an interesting remark from a man who doesn’t believe in god,’ she remarked smiling.

  She continued. ‘Don’t worry about Jack; Cedric promised to look after him until you come home.’

  ‘You know Cedric?’

  ‘Everyone knows Cedric; we often send him patients; he’s a very caring person. He’d be a wealthy man if half his patients paid him but he never refuses anyone. Now, you rest and get well.’

  ‘Will I be long here?’

  ‘We’ll keep you for another few days.’

  She stood up. ‘I’ll get you some tea and toast before I go off duty.’

  ‘I’m very grateful to you Kate.’

  ‘You’ve remembered my name; that’s a good start.’

  ***

  Cedric arrived later, sat down and smiled. ‘How are you John?’

  He tried to smile. ‘Much better thanks to you.’

  ‘Don’t thank me; thank Jack. He created such a racket outside my house that I became convinced something was wrong.’

  ‘Is he all right?’

  ‘He’s outside in the car.’

  At that moment Jack darted into the room, and before Cedric could stop him, put his two front paws up on the side of the bed and snuggled up to John. This happy scene was interrupted by a young nurse who arrived in a panic.

  ‘We can’t have dogs in here,’ she screamed.

  Cedric grabbed Jack. ‘We’d better get out of here before we make the front page of the Mayo News.’

  John lay back in the bed smiling.

  ***

  When Kate came on duty later she was very amused by the affair. ‘That’s a first for Castlebar Hospital.’

  ‘Is that where I am?’

  ‘You didn’t know?’

  ‘I thought I was in Westport.’

  He couldn’t take his eyes off her; it wasn’t just her beautiful long blonde hair, clear milky skin and expressive brown eyes; it was her soothing voice, refreshing candour and humour.

  ‘You’re in the capital of Mayo.’ She paused. ‘Has Mr Mangan been around yet?’

  ‘Yes. He said I can go home tomorrow.’

  ‘That‘s great, I’m off and I have to visit some friends in Westport; I’ll drive you home.’

  ‘I can’t let you do that.’

  ‘Of course you can; anyway I want to meet your famous dog.’ She stood up. ‘I’ll be in to see you before I go off duty.’

  ***

  He was up and dressed when she arrived the following morning. Adorned in a cream dress that showed off her lovely figure, he thought she looked stunning. Some of her colleagues smiled as she escorted him to her little Nissan in the car park. Heading out the Westport road she offered him a cigarette and when he declined, lit one for herself.

  He was so happy to be with her. It was a fresh sunny day and as they proceeded they could see the Reek standing proudly on the southern side of the Clew. She chatted on about the lovely scenery; he wanted to know all about her but didn’t ask.

  She stopped at Cedric’a house to collect Jack. He was waiting for them and Jack raced forward when he saw John. Kate hopped out of the car.

  ‘Don’t let him jump on you John; you’re still quite tender.’

  She stroked Jack’s head; he liked it.

  ‘Coffee is ready,’ Cedric announced.

  ‘Great.’

  They sat around the little table outside the house.

  ‘You make good coffee Cedric,’ she smiled. ‘We took in one of your patients last night; she’ll be fine, just needs a few day’s rest.’

  ‘I’ll be going in to see her shortly.’

  Kate stood up. ‘Time to get you home John; thanks for the coffee Cedric.’

  ***

  Arriving at the cottage Kate stood outside admiring the view. ‘It’s so beautiful here.’

  He plucked up his courage.

  ‘Kate, have you someone waiting for you at home?’

  She stopped and smiled up at him.

  ‘I was astonished when you told me that you have no next-of-kin: I haven’t either.’

  ‘I am surprised.’

  Her expression clouded over. ‘It’s a long story; someday maybe I’ll tell you about it.’

  She brightened up and smiled.

  ‘So, we’re kindred spirits.’

  ‘I like that.’

  ‘Can I come and visit next week?’

  ‘Of course.’

  She looked at him directly.

  ‘You will be here? Cedric said you were going away.’

  He paused for a second. ‘I’ll be here Kate.’

  ‘Have you a phone?’

  ‘There’s one inside, I’ll get you the number.’

  They entered the cottage together; she surveyed it. ‘It’s cosy.’

  She took a note book from her bag and wrote briefly before tearing out the page and handing it to him.

  ‘My mobile number.’

  He scribbled the phone number in her note book.

  ‘Have you a mobile John?’

  ‘I’m going to get one tomorrow.’

  ‘Text me the number when you get it.’

  She stood closer and ran her hand over his growing beard.’

  ‘I think you’d look better without the designer stubble.’

  He grinned and followed her to the car; she sat in started the engine, lowered the window and looked up at him.

  ‘Now remember John: no sex for a week.’

  He stood there shaking his head in awe as she drove away. How could such a lovely woman be interested in him?

  ***

  Taking the spade, he walked up behind the cottage and found the spot where he buried the black sack. He dug it up, dusted it off and, watched by Jack, returned to the house. He was starting a new life.

  While he was recuperating in the hospital he began to wonder about the apartment in Hackney. When Walter died he put it in the joint names of himself and his mother so it became his when she passed away. But did he use the Smith or Levin name?

  He routed around in his papers until he found a statement from Maveys, the estate agents who handled the lettings; it was made out to John Smith. He had saved something after all; he took a note of the agent’s email address.

  He put Jack in the car and drove into town; parking the car in the central car park, he got some dog food in the nearby supermarket and fed it to J
ack in the car. Then he had lunch in the restaurant he ate in; was it only last week? It seemed now like a lifetime ago.

  Directed to a good computer shop he bought an up-to-date Microsoft software package with hard disk, broadband, screen and keyboard. It was like old times; he refused the assistant’s offer to set it up. He would do that himself. He put the lot in the car and told Jack to relax.

  Then he bought a pay as you go mobile phone. Passing a barber’s shop reminded him; he got a haircut and shave. Kate was right; he looked better. Lastly, he bought a load of groceries. Then he remembered. He walked around until he found a shop selling electric razors.

  Back in the cottage, he texted Kate with his mobile number; he would have preferred to ring but she might be at work. She rang him shortly afterwards.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m a new man. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.’

  ‘I’m changing shifts on Friday; would tomorrow evening be all right?’

  ‘Perfect.’

  ‘I’ll be there by six.’

  ***

  Kate was just finishing her shift when Nancy Ross called to see her; Nancy was Cedric’s partner, a shapely well endowed little woman with smiling blue eyes. Cedric introduced her to Kate two years earlier and, when in Westport, they often dined together in Nancy’s restaurant near the bridge.

  ‘Kate,’ she began, ‘I need to talk to you.’

  ‘I’m just finishing. We’ll go across to the hotel and have a coffee.’

  Seated in the hotel lounge Nancy came to the point.

  ‘I know I can talk to you in confidence. Our domestic arrangements are a bit complicated; you see I love Cedric and we plan to get married.’ She paused and looked embarrassed. ‘As you know I live with my brother Ernie.’

  She paused again. Everybody knew DJ Ernie Ross who worked for a local radio station.

  ‘Well Kate I never told anyone else; I hope you’ll understand.’

  ‘I’m sure I will Nancy.’

  ‘Well, you see Cedric and Ernie also love each other.’