Fortitude (Heart of Stone)

by D H Sidebottom

  “How is Debora?” She asked as sadness and grief covered her face but took her away from her current anguish.

  I blew out slowly and nodded, “Getting there, slowly.”

  We both watched as a nurse pushed a trolley of notes along the quiet corridor. Ava leaned towards me with a frown on her beautiful face, “Do they still use paper notes? I thought everything was now done via computers.”

  I shrugged and continued to watch the nurse struggle through the double doors at the end, “Dunno.”

  I jolted when a sharp sting burnt the top of my arm. My head snapped towards Ava who was glaring at me after slapping me. “Did you just check out her arse?”

  “No.”

  “You so did.” She glowered at me as her lips tightened into an angry pout. “You so did, Mason.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “You did,” she persisted. “Although, she did have a nice backside. The way it swung under her uniform. And she was really quite pretty.”

  My mouth dropped open as I stared at her. “Oh, I can’t check out her arse but you can.”

  “Well, that’s different.” She defended as she stared me down.

  I nodded firmly, “So I didn’t catch you checking out the car park attendant this morning.”

  Her eyes widened before she huffed. “Oh come on, Mason. That guy is illegally hot. Godlike.”

  I shrugged and sighed as I lifted my hands in defeat. “Of course he is,” I answered haughtily as I rolled my eyes.

  “Are you jealous?” She narrowed her eyes on me, “You are. You’re jealous of the hot car park attendant.”

  “Will you stop calling the guy hot!”

  “And godlike,” she sighed dreamily. What the fuck! “His arse is just….” She made a funny growling noise as she shivered and sighed again. She looked at me and caught my expression then beamed widely at me. “Only joking, baby. No man on earth is as hot as you.”

  I grinned back at her proudly. “And my arse, Ava?”

  “Your arse?”

  “Well… is it as good as car park attendants?”

  She paused and smiled sheepishly at me, her head bobbing up and down slowly as she blatantly lied to me. “Yeah.”

  “You could be a bit more convincing,” I pouted as I flexed my backside. I thought my arse was quite firm and tight anyway.

  She giggled and nudged me. “Your arse is the finest thing I have ever seen, Mason. It is pure perfection and I have never felt anything more glorious in my hands, or around my fingers.” She finished with a wink.

  I gave her a proud smile once more as the door opposite us opened. I swear in that single second as Dr Franks appeared in the doorway, my whole life rushed past me at lightning speed. I could feel the thump of my heart escalate as Ava scrambled for my hand. I held onto it firmly, trying to absorb her anguish and fear.

  “It’ll be okay, baby. I know it will.”

  She didn’t answer but gave me a painful smile, her pretty face now white and blotchy as her eyes reddened and a few beads of sweat appeared on her brow.

  She blew out a breath and stood. Dr Franks nodded at her and smiled. Was it a happy smile? A smile that lied? Or a pitying smile? Was it a smile of nerves about what he had to do? Or was it a smile that gave him the best part of his job?

  “Come on in, Ava” he gestured as he opened the door widely. “Mr Fox,” he greeted as he held out a hand. “Great to meet you finally.”

  His knowing smile told me it wasn’t just mine and Ava’s relationship cancer destroyed but it also told me that Ava and I, like many others, had fought to get it back. I sighed when I realised some hadn’t been as lucky as us.

  Ava fell into the chair before Dr Franks had told her to sit down. I sat beside her, swallowing as her hand once again hunted for mine. Her clammy skin was cool as her fingers wrapped around mine. I clasped it between both hands to feed her some warmth.

  “How are you, Ava?” He asked as his soft gaze landed on Ava.

  She nodded and smiled. “I’m doing okay. I feel fine, but then again that could just be anything… I mean it isn’t an indication or anything about me… well…” she babbled almost hysterically. “I mean I didn’t have any symptoms before apart from the tiny lump… oh and come to think of it, I did sweat a little but I just put that down to female hormones, you know. But…”

  “Ava…” The Doc tried but she continued to ramble.

  “We all get to that age… well we hope to… some of us are never quite that lucky are we? I always thought I’d…”

  “Your results came back clear.”

  “…make it to a hundred,” she giggled hysterically. “But some of us…”

  I stared at her as a sob erupted from me. I couldn’t hold back the cries as the tears poured from me but she went on and on. I snatched her face in my hands and pulled her face to mine. “You – are – clear.”

  She cried out as a long high pitched sound came from somewhere deep inside her. Her fingers clawed at my face as her forehead fell into my chest.

  I looked at Dr Franks again, needing to verify what he had said. He smiled and nodded before he pushed his chair back and stood up. “I’ll just give you a moment,” he whispered.

  I tugged her across onto my lap when he shut the door behind him and wrapped my arms around her. I rocked her and shushed her as she sobbed and sobbed, my own tears mingling with hers as they dripped onto her stunning face. She just cried and looked up at me, her eyes both questioning and relieved as we both supported and consumed from each other.

  “My God, you are so beautiful,” I whispered as I swiped at her tears.

  “Really?”

  “Really,” I laughed. “Even with tears and snot and… and blotches. You have never been more beautiful than right now, right this fucking second. You know why, baby?”

  She shook her head at me, her chest jerking with hiccups. “Because you did it, Ava. You fucking did it. You - kicked – cancers – fucking – arse and you’re alive.”

  She nodded at me then buried her face in my chest. I pursed my lips and tutted, “You’re doing it, aren’t you?”

  She pulled back and smiled guiltily, her eyes glistening happily before she pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped at the snot she had plastered all over my shirt.

  Ava

  Mason grinned at me again as he dipped a tiny green tomato into some weird oil and then popped it into my mouth. I beamed back, leaning across the rug to kiss him. He sighed softly against my lips as I tenderly kissed him, just enjoying and appreciating the feel of him. I was alive. It didn’t get any better than that.

  “I love you,” he whispered for the millionth time since we had left the hospital. He’d brought me to a secluded spot in the country, a hidden picnic basket with champagne hidden in the boot of his car. I wondered what he would have done with the food if the results had gone the other way.

  “And me, you.”

  He sighed contentedly and rolled onto his back. I watched him for a while, admiring the rise and fall of his chest, his lean physique and the faint thrum of his pulse at the base of his throat. He was pure man, intoxicating with masculine beauty and a heart to match. His soft full lips were angelic as his strong prominent jaw was a gift from the devil. “You know,” he spoke quietly without looking at me or even opening his eyes. “I’m not sure about the reconstructive surgery, Ava.”

  I frowned. He said it like it was just a passing comment, nothing important or worthy of discussing properly. “Okay.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I waited for him to clarify.

  He turned his head and opened his eyes, a gentle smile lifting his lips. “I love you the way you are.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure if I want you to…” He pursed his lips and turned to his side, propping himself up on an elbow. “… I dunno how to say it so I’m just gonna go for it.”

  I nodded to him, encouraging him to just go for it. “Well, I don’t want any part of you to be fake, unreal. That’s something you have never been and I’m n
ot sure I want you to start now. You’re perfect to me, even with no breasts. You are still beautiful, you still rock my boat, so…”

  I rolled my lips and smirked at him. “I still rock your boat?”

  “Yeah,” he nodded earnestly. “Yeah.”

  “Do you mean I still float your boat?”

  “Uhh...” He frowned and tipped his head considering my adaptation, “Is it float? I always thought it was rock.”

  “Well, I’m sure to rock the boat means to upset something, Mason.” I tried to hide the laugh but it came out as a squeak.

  He narrowed his eyes on me with a glare. “Are you taking the piss?”

  I shook my head slowly, “No. would I ever?”

  He quirked an eyebrow at me. “Yes, Ava. You would.”

  I grinned at him, giving him a flutter of my eyelashes. He huffed then rolled back over onto his back but continued to stare at me. “But you get what I’m saying?”

  I nodded to him. “I do but I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to how I am now.” I divulged honestly. “It’s like, in the summer, wearing little tops that I can’t disguise my figure in, or pretty dresses when we have a do to go to, or bikini’s on holiday…”

  “Ava.” I paused and smiled guiltily, knowing what he was going to say. “All that statement told me was that you are worried about what others will think of you.”

  “Well… yeah, I don’t want to be the freak they all talk about.”

  He glowered angrily at me. “For one, where is my little warrior who doesn’t give a gnat’s ass what people think of her? And two, who gives a shit what other people think anyway. They have issues with how you look, then to be honest, they’re not worth knowing. Your friends and family love you for who you are, Ava, not what you look like.”

  “But wouldn’t you…”

  “No!” He cut me off instantly. “I wouldn’t. I prefer you as you are, whole and perfect.”

  I stared at him. All this time I had worried what Mason would think of my flat chest, appeared to be wasted worry. I never thought he would accept me, his masculinity and sexual appetite had me thinking that I wasn’t complete to him without breasts.

  “Do you miss them?” he suddenly asked softly. He watched me closely, his eyes soft but inquiring.

  I shrugged, “Sometimes. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see me anymore. I’m not who I was.”

  “No,” he shook his head. “You’re not. You will never be that woman again. You are now even stronger. You’re now even more stunning to me because you’re a survivor, a woman who fought and showed the world how fucking tough she is. A woman who gave a piece of herself to endure life.”

  He sat up and shuffled across the rug to me. “You are an even better person because you can now appreciate life. Be thankful to it for once instead of seeing all the heartache and pain from your past. Life granted you another chance, Ava. But it’s up to you now, it’s your choice how you live it.”

  He was right – for a change. It was up to me to take what I had and learn to enjoy it, it was now my decision which path I took. “And what do you want?” I asked him as I climbed onto his lap.

  He inhaled slowly and heavily but smiled widely. “That’s easy. You. I don’t care where we are, how we live life or even who we live it with. As long as you are in my life then I’m happy as hippos in mud.”

  “Pigs in shit, Mason.”

  “What?”

  I rolled my eyes at him, “The saying is happy as pigs in shit.”

  He tutted and rolled his eyes, “Well bloody pigs then. Whatever. I’m happy if you’re happy.”

  “I want to go home,” I whispered longingly. I missed my beach house, I missed the crash of the waves on the rock face below my kitchen window, I missed the warm breeze at night and I missed the easiness to life in Portugal, the simplicity and the luxury each pure breath of air bestowed.

  He sighed in relief and cupped my cheek. “I thought you’d never ask. But there’s something we need to do first.” I raised an eyebrow inquisitively but he smirked and kissed me. “Stop being so eager, Mrs Fox. Wait.”

  I growled at him but as his fingers popped the button on my shorts, I growled in a different way.

  Mason

  My lungs emptied in a single rush when she appeared in the doorway. Her beautiful chin length soft rosy hair wisped around her face, highlighting her high cheekbones. The simple but elegant ivory silk dress she wore flowed flawlessly, hugging each of her delicious curves as it came to rest just below her knees. But it was her smile that stole me, her eyes soft but so bloody worshipping as they held mine. Everything she was feeling was expressed openly in the vivid green, her love and adoration for me, her hopes and dreams and her appreciation that we were both here, doing this.

  Our song filled the room, the soft tones of Gabrielle Aplin, The power of love brought her closer to me. I sighed happily when I realised she hadn’t worn that damn bra that made her itch, choosing to go without.

  I was so proud of her. She ground me, her perseverance and determination still humbled me but it was her strength of love for me that had me in awe of her. She had not only accepted me and all my faults, but she also loved me because of them.

  She drew closer, her gaze never leaving mine and mine never leaving hers. I was still amazed that after all these years she remained mine, my little warrior and now my monster of fortitude.

  “Hi,” she whispered with a grin when she finally reached me.

  I couldn’t answer her. A lump the size of England rested in my throat so I just nodded frantically. She giggled and reached for my hand, squeezing it tightly in hers as we turned towards the minister.

  “Mason and Ava. When you first joined hands and hearts in marriage seventeen years ago, you did not know where life would take you.” Reverend Stephens grinned at us both. “You promised to love, honour and cherish one another through all things. Life has surely brought you both wonderful blessings and difficult challenges over the years.”

  I scoffed and Ava smirked. Oh yeah, many challenges but I smiled when I thought of all the blessings.

  “But here you are today,” he continued. “Having fulfilled the vows to love, honour and cherish you each made on your wedding day. And God is smiling! As you celebrate here today, and as you reflect back over all the years as husband and wife, do you now wish to reaffirm the vows you took seventeen years ago?”

  I nodded eagerly as Ava spoke her confirmation. I turned to watch her as the minister spoke a load of drivel I wasn’t remotely interested in. All that mattered was the stunning woman beside me. The woman who filled me, who completed life. The warrior that fought for us, every damn day.

  She glanced at me and smiled softly, then turned slightly until the back of her shoulder was visible.

  I gasped but moved my finger across her new tattoo.

  His little Warrior

  She leaned into my ear as the reverend continued to address our friends and family. “Wait until you see the one on my ass.”

  I gawped at her, struggling to stop myself lifting her dress in the middle of the chapel and bending her over. She smirked, winked and clicked her tongue before she murmured quietly, “Your monster of fortitude needs spanking.”

  Holy fuck!

  The minister raised an eyebrow when I growled loudly. I coughed to hide the noise then flinched as Ava elbowed me, stifling a giggle. I nodded to him, urging him to continue as I leant towards Ava and hovered my mouth over her ear. “With my cock,” I finished for her.

  Ha! That’ll teach her to tease. The reverend now gave us both a glare as we tittered like school children.

  Fuck it.

  Life was fucking awesome.

  Epilogue

  Ava

  I sighed happily as Mason pulled me closer and our bodies swayed to the slow track playing. We’d been dancing for hours, both of us lost to each other as we just held one another and appreciated life.

  “My turn,” Kade cut in. “Stop hogging her.”

/>   He elbowed Mason out of the way, earning a snarl and grinned smugly at him as he took me in his arms. “Go do some other shit for a while.” Kade ordered with a flap of a hand in Mason’s direction.

  Mason rolled his eyes but yielded and tottered off after planting a gentle kiss on my forehead.

  “So Mrs Fox,” Kade breathed as he pulled me close and embraced me in a slow dance. “How is life now?”

  “Life is absolutely wonderful, Mr Hamilton.” I grinned as I kissed his cheek blissfully.

  “Want me to make it better?” he asked with a smirk.

  A wide grin grew on my face as my heart started to gallop. “You got the job?”

  “I did,” he said excitedly. “I so fucking did. Meet the new rehab nurse at Faro hospital in none other than your lovely little Portugal.”

  I squealed and looked over at Grace. She beamed widely at me and jumped up and down enthusiastically, nodding her head like a loony.

  “Oh my God,” I choked out as a tear slipped free. Mason caught my eye from across the room and winked. He so knew!

  “So,” Kade smirked as he twirled me round then dipped me back until the crown of my head nearly touched the floor. “What to do!”

  “Hmm,” I murmured as I gave him a slow nod of my head. “What will we do?”

  He grinned wickedly and brought his mouth to my ear. “We will fuck like Portuguese rabbits.”

  I laughed loudly as I slapped him in the chest. “Suits me,” I winked. “And why the hell not!”

  ***

  “Oh dear god,” I murmured as I watched Mason tap the microphone on the stage.

  “Hi,” he smiled at everyone then scanned the room until he found me, his eyes twinkling wildly as a mischievous grin erupted on his face. “I just have one thing to say before I do this shit.” He sighed happily and smiled at me, the love and idolisation in his eyes swallowing me. “I love you Ava Fox. No one comes close, no one even touches the surface apart from you. You know why?” He swallowed and winced as he bit his lip. “Because you love me. Me. The idiot that didn’t expect anything from life other than shit and dreams. The fool that took everything for granted because I could, the arsehole that, not twenty years ago, didn’t give two flying fucks about anyone other than himself.”