Salsa and Speedbumps

by Baganz, Susan M. ;

  “The doc understands about your narcotics addiction?” asked Ben.

  “Yes, it’s in my chart and I reminded him. He was sympathetic but said living with this pain is causing stress on other parts of my body. My liver test came back fine again so there’s no permanent damage from the overdose, but still, do I take the risk to try something new? What if it really is addictive?”

  “You need to trust your doctor. Did you look the drug up on-line?” Alex was asking again.

  “Yeah, but there is not a lot of research on it because it’s new.”

  “What does your girlfriend say?”

  “I haven’t shared this with her.”

  “She doesn’t know you have an addiction?”

  “I told her about that. She understands I struggle with pain. She just doesn’t realize how desperate I can feel as a result.”

  “Are you not being honest with her?” Tim stared hard at Roberto.

  “As much as I can be…we only met a few weeks ago. She’s pregnant and has had a rough time with the ex-boyfriend. He even held her hostage earlier this week. She’s doing well now, but still, the last thing she needs is to worry about me and my pain.”

  “That’s not a very balanced relationship. Is she using you?” Ben asked.

  “No, she’s not. She’s been considerate and sweet. I’ve lashed out at her already when the pain got bad, and she didn’t flinch or skip a beat in extending me grace. I don’t deserve her. I’m falling in love, and it scares me. I wonder what I would be subjecting her to in the years to come with this as a constant reality in my life.”

  “You need to be honest with her. Let her know just how bad it gets. You do take meds for the depression that comes with the pain, right?” asked Tim.

  “Yeah, I do. Doc has also suggested the possibility of surgery on the spine as well. Fusing discs or something like that. But that’s risky. I fear my faith isn’t big enough.”

  “Talk to the girl, Robbie.” Alex said. “But I think for right now, you need to be bathed in prayer.”

  The men laid hands on Roberto and prayed for him, for healing, for relief from the suffering and for the courage to make the hard choices with regards to treatment and discussions with his girlfriend.

  “Thanks guys. It does help to talk about this and to be reminded that you are praying and a phone or text message away if I need you.”

  “That’s what we are all here for—and you’ve pulled your weight as well. We’re behind ya all the way,” Tim said.

  * * *

  Early Friday morning, the furniture arrived and Stephanie worked hard to move things into the places she wanted them to be. It didn’t quite feel like “home” yet, even with new drapes and blinds, new sheets and bedspread, and brand new dishes and glasses. She figured she would buy groceries on Saturday morning and move into her new apartment then. She liked her new space, but it felt…lonely. She hoped she would get used to it. Having lost so many personal belongings and the memories attached, and starting from scratch with everything, it was going to take some time for it to be comfortable.

  “Are you sure you’re ready?” Renata was concerned on Saturday morning as Stephanie packed up her few belongings to put in her sedan to move out. “We don’t mind you staying with us for as long as you want.”

  “I need my own space, Ren. I am grateful for all you and Tony have done, but I have to do this. Luis is not a threat, and I can start fresh. It’ll be good. In time, there will be pictures on the wall, and it will feel like home.”

  “I understand. You always were the independent one, Stephanie. It’s one of the things I admire about you.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. I seemed so weak and needy compared to you with your confidence. A glorious sunburst next to a plain ol’ Ren.”

  “I never realized that. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. You are anything but plain. How could I have handled the past few months without your rock steady support and quiet encouragement?”

  “I’m glad I had a chance to help you.”

  “You have, and I’ll probably need it again.” Stephanie patted her baby bump and leaned over to give her friend a hug. “I’ll see you in church tomorrow?”

  “Yes. At least you won’t need the DeLuca bodyguards.”

  “It was kind of flattering.”

  “Good. See ya.”

  Stephanie got her groceries and hauled everything into her apartment through the back door. All the apartments had windows facing the courtyard. She could guess where Robbie’s might be and noticed his car parked out back. She was tempted to go over and visit, but she had so much to do before she headed into work that afternoon. She prayed for him as she wondered how bad his pain situation really was. He tried hard not to let it show, and yet, she suspected it was a bigger problem than she grasped.

  NINE

  Mejor el diablo conocido que el diablo escondido.

  Better the devil you know than the one you don’t.

  ~Mexican proverb

  Sunday morning, Stephanie was about to leave for church when she got a text from Robbie.

  I need to cancel our date today. Sorry.

  Your back bothering you?

  Yes.

  Anything I can do?

  Pray.

  I’ll call you later.

  Don’t.

  Stephanie left for church with a heavy heart filled with concern for Roberto, and she wondered if she should have stopped by to see him.

  After the service, she visited in the café with Renata and Tony.

  “Where’s Robbie? I know you haven’t been dating all that long, but I’ve already kind of gotten used to seeing the two of you together.” Renata struggled to calm Ella while Tony had a sleeping Rosa in his arms.

  “He texted me this morning and canceled our date. I’m worried. He struggles with back pain, but it seems out of character.”

  “Maybe he’s not feeling well?” Tony shrugged his shoulders.

  “Are you trying to tell me that maybe he’s ‘just not that into me’ as I’d hoped?”

  “I would never say that, Stephanie. You deserve a good guy, and Robbie seems as good as they come.” Tony frowned.

  “Something feels wrong.” Stephanie said. “Would you mind coming with me to check up on him? I don’t want to go alone.”

  Tony glanced at Renata and an unspoken message was communicated.

  “Sure, I’ll come. Let me help Ren get the kids to the car. I’ll drop her off at my parents and meet you at your complex. I’ll call you when I arrive.”

  “Thanks you, guys. It could be nothing, but still…”

  “Go with your gut, Stephanie, maybe the Holy Spirit is trying to tell you something. I’ll be praying for you as you check things out.” Renata was placing the infant in the carrier that was attached to a double stroller they used to get in and out of most venues with the twins. Once the baby was secured, she reached over and gave Stephanie a hug and a smile as they departed for their cars.

  Stephanie arrived home and changed into her jeans and a loose summer top. She hadn’t caved into maternity clothing, although soon, it would be hard to avoid. She glanced out the window across the courtyard. One apartment had its blinds drawn and windows closed, and it was a hot summer day. She had taken to using her central air as the temperatures had begun to soar yesterday.

  She texted Roberto. What apartment number are you?

  2. Don’t come.

  Don’t shut me out.

  The door is unlocked, enter at your own risk.

  When Tony arrived, they crossed the court to Roberto’s place. Tony knocked on the door, calling Roberto’s name. A quiet “come in” could be heard.

  Tony opened the door first. A wall of heat hit them. They couldn’t see Roberto in the tidy space. The air conditioning was off. Stephanie reached for the control to adjust the temp and the unit outside kicked in. The thermostat read 89.

  “Robbie?” Stephanie called out.

  “Bedroom,” w
as the weak reply.

  Tony went in first, and Stephanie followed. Robbie was laying on the bed wearing a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. He was on his side, curled up. He hadn’t shaved, and his eyes appeared glazed. His phone was on its charger and close to his fingertips. The stink of sweat permeated the room.

  “Hey, man, sorry to barge in on you, but we were worried. You’re not looking too good.” Tony squatted down near the bed so Robbie didn’t have to crane his neck to see him.

  “I’m not feeling too good.” Robbie’s voice was weak.

  “What seems to be the problem?” Tony asked.

  “My back seized up and hurts like the devil.”

  Stephanie moved around Tony and came to crouch next to him beside the bed. She reached her hand up to touch his forehead. His eyes didn’t even focus on her. “You’re way too hot. Can you move at all?”

  “Just leave me alone.” His phone rang, and he gingerly placed it to his ear. “Yes, Alex, she came. Yes, I know. I don’t have much choice now, do I?” Robbie put the phone away from his ear and offered it to Stephanie. “It’s Alex, from my accountability group. He wants to talk to you.”

  “Okay.” Stephanie hesitated and glanced at Tony who nodded to her, and took the phone. “Hi, Alex? This is Stephanie...oh…okay… Thank you…good bye.” She set the phone back down where he had it and reached over to touch Robbie’s face gently. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

  “Tell you what, Steph? What was that about?”

  She turned towards Tony and rose to her feet. “He’s been stuck like this since Friday night as he took out the garbage. He hasn’t eaten, and he wouldn’t tell his small group his address so they weren’t able to help him. He needs to get to the emergency room.”

  “I need to be left alone.” There was more heat to his words this time as he spoke through clenched teeth.

  “I don’t think so.” Tony said. “Either you let me pull my car up to the door and we take you to the hospital, or we call for an ambulance. Which will it be? You’ve a choice.”

  Stephanie left the room and came back with a glass. “I brought you some water.”

  “I can’t sit up to drink. Nice try.” Robbie sneered at her.

  “Then it’s a good thing I found this straw. Who would have thought an attorney would have a crazy straw in his drawer?” She smiled, knelt down and put the straw to his lips. “Now drink.” He obeyed. She pulled the glass away when he indicated he was done.

  “My wallet and insurance card are on the dresser. I warn you, I’m in too much pain right now to be a gentleman. Steph, you might want to leave.”

  “I think I can survive most of what you dish out, Roberto.”

  Tony went to grab the wallet and handed it to Robbie who motioned for him to keep it. Robbie tried to push himself up and tears sprang to his eyes. “I can’t.”

  “How about I bring the mini-van around to the door. Between Stephanie and I, we can probably manage to get you in. Is there something I can get you for the pain?”

  “No!” Roberto yelled, “I’m an addict, don’t you understand? I can’t take anything for this.”

  Tony shrugged. “I’ll go get the van. You okay here, Steph?”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Within minutes, Tony had returned, and between the two of them, they managed to drag Roberto to a standing position and out the door. He groaned and mumbled in Spanish. Once he was seated in the van, Stephanie ran to her own car to meet them at the emergency room.

  Robbie was near delirium when they got to Community Memorial Hospital. Stephanie had gone inside to ask for help from hospital staff in removing Robbie from the van. Tony handed her Robbie’s wallet.

  “Do you want me to stay, or can you handle it from here on out?”

  “I think I can manage. You need to get to your family. Thank you, Tony.”

  “Anytime. Call if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, I will.”

  * * *

  Roberto was taken into a room and they initially denied Stephanie entrance while they assessed him. She spied him as he was wheeled to have an MRI, and she could hear him muttering in Spanish under his breath again. She smiled at his stubbornness and prayed for his pain. She had his cell phone and his wallet with her and took several calls from other members of his support group who encouraged her to stay with him and told her that they would be coming to join her at the hospital. She thanked God that Robbie had such great friends.

  When all the testing was done, they allowed her to go to his side. The doctor was soon there.

  “I can prescribe a muscle relaxant that will help you. There are some pinched nerves that need further evaluation. We can admit you to the hospital overnight and give you morphine for the pain.”

  “No morphine,” came a whimper from the bed.

  “We do have other medications available.”

  “Doctor, he has an addiction problem and is afraid of taking anything that would lead him down that road,” Stephanie offered.

  The doctor gazed at Robbie. “Well, the muscle relaxant will help. Let me check with the pharmacist to see what other options might be available.” He left to go make a call.

  Pain etched grooves in his facial features, and he kept his eyes closed. He had three days of stubble on his face. He was dehydrated and given an intravenous drip to help. Stephanie stood by his side, holding his hand. She stayed silent.

  Robbie opened his eyes. “You still here?”

  Stephanie smiled. “Well, I’m beginning to think I’m falling in love with an idiot. Love doesn’t quit even when the idiot does.”

  “I deserve that.” He sighed, closed his eyes, and winced.

  The nurse arrived to add the muscle relaxant to his port, and his muscles tensed up. Stephanie squeezed his hand.

  “It’s going to be okay, relax,” she whispered in his ear

  Soon, the doctor was back and suggesting a new supposedly non-addictive medication. “That’s the one my doc wanted to give me, but I was afraid to try it.” Exhaustion was taking its toll on Robbie, and he finally gave in to having the medication. It was administered through the port, and within fifteen minutes, Robbie rested. Alex, Ben and Tim had arrived. Stephanie left the men alone with Robbie and waited until they were done talking and praying with him. A nurse came to tell her the room Roberto was being moved to and gave her directions to get there.

  Once in the room, a nurse assessed Robbie as Stephanie stood in the hallway, waiting. Soon, they allowed her entrance only to find Robbie asleep. She slid herself into a chair in the corner and dozed off.

  “Stephanie, you’re still here?”

  She roused herself and rose to go stand by the bed. “Yeah, hon, I’m here.”

  “I’m feeling better.”

  “Good.”

  “Not good.”

  “Why?”

  “I like feeling this way. It scares me.”

  “Just because you’re not in excruciating agony doesn’t mean you’re going to be addicted. We’ll work together to help you not walk down that road again.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  “I’m not.”

  Robbie smiled and drifted to sleep, gripping her hand tight. Eventually, it relaxed as the medication did its work. Stephanie released his fingers and left to get a bag of chips and a soda from the machine in the hallway. It wasn’t a great meal, but it was something. She dragged a chair over to the bed and lay her head down on the mattress next to Robbie and prayed until she fell asleep.

  At some point, hours later, she felt a hand on her head and her name being called. “Stephanie, wake up.”

  She lifted her head and glanced over at Robbie, still all scruffy but looking better.

  “What is it?”

  “The doctor said I’m stable now. I can go home. He gave me a prescription for the muscle relaxant and made an appointment with a specialist regarding the pain in my back. Did you bring your car? I don’t remember much about how I got here. Ca
n you give me a ride to Walgreens and home?”

  “I would be glad to.”

  “A question for you.”

  “Yes?”

  “Did I really come here in my pajama bottoms, no shoes and a t-shirt?”

  “You did. I think you might start a new trend. I thought the look served you well.” She winked at him as she stood up and leaned over to give him a kiss on the forehead.

  “What would I do without you?”

  “Probably die a slow, stinky, miserable death in your apartment while muttering a string of Spanish curses.”

  “How long was I there?”

  “From what I understand, almost two days. Any longer, and the heat might have killed you.”

  “And I really swore?”

  “Like a Spanish pirate. Good thing I don’t speak the language, or you would have offended me, I’m sure. You were particularly angry with me for daring to interfere.”

  “I’m sorry, Steph. I warned you that when I’m in pain, I’m not myself.”

  “I remember. You might want to teach me those curses, though.”

  “Why?”

  “They could come in handy when I’m in labor.”

  * * *

  Stephanie parked by Robbie’s back door and helped him to his recliner. She moved her car and returned to putz around in the apartment. Bringing him heated-up leftovers from the refrigerator, she turned to leave.

  “You’re leaving…?” He needed her.

  “I am. It’s too dangerous for me to stay in the apartment alone with you.”

  “I’m not about to seduce you given the condition I’m in. Even if I wanted to.” Sex was the last thing on his mind, even though she was gorgeous. He amended that thought. Thinking about it was too easy with her around.

  “I understand. I don’t want to set a precedent that might be hard to undo later. As much as I would like to stay and take care of you, I can’t.”

  Robbie’s frowned. “Okay. When are you moving in across the way?”

  “I moved in yesterday morning. Good night, Roberto Rodriguez. Rest well.” She leaned over to kiss the top of his head, and he tried to grab her for more, but she was quicker. Before Robbie realized it, she was gone. She left his wallet, insurance card, and house key on the kitchen table.