A Love Undone

by Cindy Woodsmall

  “I don’t know. He and his brother are trading places for at least a week, but I don’t think they know what they’ll do after that. Last I heard, they were trying to get a driver to make the swap sometime this afternoon. Maybe his plan is right, Jo. He’s married, and you have to respect that.”

  “Of course we do but to the point that we can’t work together until this job is done?” She’d been asking herself that question since yesterday, and now she knew the answer. They didn’t have to burden Levi and Sadie with trading places. What harm could it do to keep the current working arrangement?

  Could she catch him in time?

  “Denki, Van.” She hurried toward the rig. “Ray, Hope, get in. We need to go.”

  Glen opened the door for her. “I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Ya.” Would he be disappointed in her if he knew where she was headed? Since it was after three now, she needed to set Glen’s arrival time for a little later than they had originally planned. “Let’s make it seven.”

  “Seven?” His brows furrowed momentarily. “Okay. See you then.” He closed the door and held up the Scrabble tile with the Z on it.

  She took the reins in hand and clicked her tongue at the horse. “Geh.”

  22

  Andy rested his forearms on the split-rail fence as he waited under the shade of the dogwood for Levi and Sadie to join him. They’d arrived twenty minutes ago. After a warm welcome and a low-key conversation, they were being shown to their room by Tobias and Lester. But they’d asked to talk to Andy privately before he and Tobias left.

  Four half-tame horses grazed peacefully. Andy’s work here wasn’t done. He’d never left a job before completion, and he hated to do so now, but he had no choice.

  His thoughts about Jolene swirled like August winds, kicking up blinding dust, fanning burning embers. Andy wasn’t sure how he was supposed to carry on with his heart this heavy. Since the ache couldn’t be satisfied with a few comforting words of hope, he would have to get used to this sickening feeling.

  Until Jolene confronted him, he’d found it reasonably easy to ignore how fond he’d grown of her. She cared. An amazing, giving woman he truly connected with cared about him.

  Stop, Fisher! Just shut up, already. The demand echoed inside him. He was a fool who longed to have what was outside his prison cell.

  “Hey.” Levi and Sadie moved beside him.

  Andy hadn’t heard them walking his way. “I appreciate your coming.” But they could only stay until next Saturday, although they had yet to say why. Whatever their reason, Andy would have a week to find someone to take over his responsibilities with the horses. But who?

  Sadie leaned in, peering around her husband. “We had intended to make this trip in about two weeks”—she grabbed the top of the split rail—“for the same reason that we can’t stay.” Her smile radiated the type of contentment Andy could only dream of.

  Levi put his arm around her shoulders. “We’re expecting.”

  Andy hugged his sister-in-law and shook his brother’s hand. “Congratulations.” He’d been anticipating this news.

  “Denki.” Levi pulled Sadie closer and kissed the top of her forehead. “But her days of helping with horses are over, and she has a doctor’s appointment a week from Monday.”

  There was no need to ask why they weren’t using the local midwife in Apple Ridge or why they couldn’t reschedule the doctor’s appointment. The answer was apparent in removing Sadie from helping with the horses. They would be cautious in every way concerning her health and the baby’s health.

  Andy wouldn’t question their intensity or ask them to rearrange their health-care plans to meet his needs. Sadie and her unborn child came ahead of every other scheduling need.

  “There’s a young woman named Jolene Keim. She’ll assist you in Sadie’s stead. In the meantime I’ll do all I can to find a replacement for us here.”

  “Any chance you want to talk about why we need to change places, why you’re determined to find a replacement for yourself?” Levi asked.

  He shook his head. “No, but I appreciate it.” He stepped away from the fence. “Kumm. Tobias and I need to go. The driver’s waiting.”

  Andy carried Tobias’s and his bags to the driver’s car, but he was convinced his heart weighed far more than their luggage. He tossed the items into the trunk. Lester, Sadie, Levi, and Tobias were on the porch.

  “I don’t get it, Daed. We were enjoying it here. Hope’s coming tomorrow, expecting Lester to take us fishing. He promised he would.”

  “You’ll need to take a rain check.” Maybe at some point Levi could bring Tobias here to fulfill that promise. Andy winked at his son. “I need you at the farm to help me. Your Daadi hurt his foot, and no one knows his way around our barn and the training centers better than you.”

  Tobias’s countenance changed from distressed to pleased. “That’s true. But shouldn’t we call Hope or something?”

  “She doesn’t have a phone. But Sadie can give her our number, and she can call you from Lester’s phone.”

  Tobias’s eyes grew large. “I’ve never got a call of my own before.”

  This visit to Lester’s had been good for Tobias. His temperament seemed more like the son he’d always known and less like a preteen. Since Tobias was only nine, Andy hoped all surly teen-ness stayed at bay for several more years—or forever. “Give Sadie and Levi a final hug, and let’s go.”

  Andy closed the trunk, thanked his brother and Sadie one last time, and got in the car. Tobias hopped in the back. The driver put the vehicle in reverse and began to back up.

  He pressed the brakes hard, jolting the van to a stop.

  Andy fastened his seat belt. “Something wrong?”

  The man adjusted his rearview mirror. “A rig pulled in behind me.”

  It was a wide driveway, designed to hold numerous carriages side by side. Andy removed his hat and leaned his head against the rest. “They’ll move when they realize we’re trying to get out.”

  “I don’t think so.” The driver elongated every word. “She left it there and is walking this way.”

  She?

  Andy got out of the car.

  Jolene looked exasperated as she thrust her hands palms up. “What are you doing? You have work to do—a commitment you made to the Humane Society and to those horses—and you’re leaving?”

  Andy glanced at his family on the porch. Did she realize they were standing there? “Jolene, you remember my brother, Levi.” Andy gestured. “And this is his wife, Sadie.”

  Jolene seemed to come back to herself. She spoke to Levi and went up a few stairs to shake Sadie’s hand. “It’s really nice to meet you. I’ve heard so many good things about you.”

  Sadie studied Andy for a moment, and Lester’s scowl indicated he was putting things together that he didn’t like.

  Tobias got out of the car. “Daed, Hope is here too.”

  Sadie descended the steps, introducing herself to Ray and Hope. But when that was done, no one seemed to know what else to do or say.

  With the aid of his cane, Lester maneuvered off the porch. He deadeyed Andy. “You got things that need clearing up?”

  Andy tried to stop looking at Jolene, but he didn’t manage it. “It appears I do.”

  Lester motioned angrily toward the fence. “You all show Andy’s driver the horses. Andy, Jolene, and me need a few minutes.” Even the driver got out and headed toward the fence without questioning the old man’s bark. Lester leaned on his cane with both hands. “What’s going on?”

  Jolene pursed her lips, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you would consider leaving without talking to me first.”

  “I thought we’d said all there was to say. I’m trying to do what needs to be done for your sake and mine.”

  “Whoa.” Lester made his way to the porch steps and sat on the third one. “What exactly took place between you two?”

  Neither of them answered.

  “I want to know now!”
Lester raised his cane, shaking it at Andy. “Have there been any melting moments between you two?”

  Disbelief registered on Jolene’s face. “What? Goodness no.”

  Andy wasn’t sure what Lester meant by the phrase. Was he accusing them of holding hands, kissing, or sleeping together?

  Jolene fidgeted with her sheer white Sunday apron. “I didn’t realize he was married, and I … I let him know I would like him to ask me out.”

  “Oh.” Lester lowered his cane. “I thought I made it clear he was a grass widower.”

  “You mumbled because you had food in your mouth, and I thought you said ‘trace widower.’ ”

  Lester’s brows knit. “Trace widower? I’ve not heard of that.”

  Jolene shrugged. “It’s something my Mamm used to say. I thought it was a real term.”

  “Oh.” The old man’s shoulders slumped. “Sorry, Jo. I was distracted by everything—the company, the horses, and the baked goods. I should have taken time to explain it all.” Lester shook his head. “Andy, I knew something was odd about you asking Levi to come out here. Since he can only stay a week, what is your plan for after that?”

  “I aim to find someone to replace him.”

  “That won’t do.” Lester shook his head. “I don’t want just anyone working or sleeping at my place. You asked if I would loan you my property, and I was willing to allow you and Levi. If anyone else had made that request, I would’ve said no. You know me well enough to realize that’s true.” Lester turned the cane around, his brows furrowed as he seemed to ponder the issue. “Besides, it’ll take Levi weeks to figure out everything you already know about these horses and about that same amount of time to get them used to him. And you signed the papers with the Humane Society, not Levi.”

  The papers he signed were a formality that could probably be changed, but Lester was right about everything else.

  Lester held out his hand. “Help me up.”

  Andy gave him a hand.

  “Here’s what I think needs to happen. You two take a couple of days apart, and when you start working together again, do so with your heads on straight. I see no other solution.” He jabbed a crooked finger toward Andy. “But if you cross a line with Jolene, even a little, there won’t be an end to the grief I’ll cause you. We clear?”

  Andy wanted to assure his great-uncle that he wasn’t a teenager, but out of respect he simply nodded.

  “Talk it over, and let’s not have any more issues.” Lester turned and made slow, sure steps toward the fence.

  Feeling a bit shaky, Andy sat on a step. What could he say to her? He felt responsible for the awkward situation she was in—having told him how she felt and now having to continue working with him. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea. “He’s right that I need to finish the job I began, but he can’t insist that you keep coming here.”

  She crossed her arms. “I’ll be fine. We’ll get our thoughts and hearts in the right place and tame the horses. We’re adults, and I’m pretty sure one of us can act like it.” The slight curve in her lips was the only indication she was teasing.

  “Jo, are you sure?”

  She took a deep breath, her shoulders relaxing. “Van and Donna came to me today. Donna offered a humble, honest confession of her past behavior, and they both apologized.”

  He didn’t know how that connected to his question, but he was so pleased for Jolene. What healing that must have brought her for Donna to stop playing games and to own up to her attitudes and actions. “Incredible.”

  “Ya, it was.” Jolene sat on the same step as Andy but about five feet away. “See, you get it without me fighting for the right words to explain what their apology means to me. Do you know how many people in my life would even begin to be able to do that?” Without waiting for an answer, she held up her index finger. “One.” She slowly pointed that raised finger at him. Her eyes bore into his. “I don’t want you to go, Andy. And when the work is done with the horses, I want you to return when time allows. We can do this … be just friends, can’t we?”

  She probably could. She appeared to mold her will as surely as Van forged pieces of iron. Did Andy have that kind of willpower when it came to her? He needed to.

  “It seems we need to try, Jo.”

  He hoped they could shape their feelings into an effective friendship, but regardless what anyone wanted to believe about themselves or relationships, time had a way of revealing the truth.

  23

  Jolene wavered between embarrassment and confidence as she stood at the fence near the dogwood tree. She had done the right thing to come here, hadn’t she? Andy, Levi, and Sadie were at a round pen talking privately, trying to hash out what to do now.

  Ray was in the pasture trying to make friends with Misty, a skittish yearling, while Hope and Tobias watched from this side of the fence. Interestingly enough, Misty could bolt to a far corner of the large pasture and avoid Ray, but she hadn’t. Misty and Ray were in a standoff. He moved forward a few feet, and she backed up about the same amount.

  What a mess Jolene had caused. First, she was too forward with Andy yesterday, resulting in a humiliating revelation. Then after he planned to put distance between them, she arrived here looking desperate for him not to leave. She sighed. How could a person who spent most of her life trying not to cause a scene or trouble for others create so much bedlam? With Andy backed into a corner, how much would he have to tell Levi and Sadie?

  Every cell within her longed to go back in time and do something differently—an awful and all-too-familiar feeling. It’d taken her a long time to stop obsessing over the desire to return to the moments before her parents got in the buggy. If she could’ve gone back, she would’ve stopped them. And now if she could go back, she wouldn’t have told Andy how she felt.

  Regardless of opening Pandora’s box, she was here, trying to make it right for every person and horse concerned. She’d learned the hard way that life required people to accept the facts, lift their chins, and move forward.

  She glanced at the three—Andy, Levi, and Sadie. They were a family, and despite Jolene’s weeks of daydreaming, she knew the truth as she stood here today. When it came to the Fishers, she was an outsider, and she would be for the rest of her days.

  It was going to take real effort for her to stop her daydreams, but she could do it. She’d done it before. How long had it taken her to fully accept that she couldn’t go back in time and keep her parents from leaving the house that night? How long had it taken her to stop hoping Van would break up with Donna and return to her? Actually, she knew the answer to that question. She’d completely accepted that Van wouldn’t change his mind the day he married Donna.

  Trying to shake free of the overwhelming emotions pounding her, she focused on Ray. He appeared to have something in the palm of his hand as he wooed Misty. The horse lowered her head, sniffing toward his hand. She then tossed her head and whinnied, a sure sign that the horse wanted what was in his hand but still distrusted him.

  Tobias and Hope were sitting on the fence. Lester and the driver were in lawn chairs under the dogwood tree, talking and watching Ray.

  Sadie walked across the yard and joined Jolene. She gestured toward her husband and Andy. “I’m not sure we came to any conclusion, but their conversation shifted to work and horses on our farm, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to talk with you.” Sadie’s beautiful red hair looked like shiny copper in the afternoon sun, and her freckles gave her a fresh glow.

  Jolene wanted to say something elegant that would wash away the discomfort between them but wondered if such words existed. “I’m sorry about all this.”

  Sadie turned, her hazel eyes reflecting gentleness. “I’m sure there’s a good reason for it, and the scenery between home and here was lovely, so if we need to return, I won’t mind. But … it isn’t like Andy to ask a favor, let alone change his request. I’m guessing you’re single, right?”

  “Ya.”

  Sadie blew a long stream of a
ir from her lips. “I figured. It’s the only thing that makes sense of today’s upheaval.”

  Jolene recalled dozens of conversations with Andy, and he’d indicated complete trust in Levi and Sadie. Could it hurt to be open with her? “I had hopes of me and Andy … and then yesterday I learned he wasn’t a widower, only a grass widower. I didn’t know what that meant.”

  A faint grimace flashed across Sadie’s face. “So we’re here because he thought he should go, and you came today to let him know you think he should stay?”

  “Ya.”

  “Sounds like thin ice for both of you … emotionally speaking.”

  Jolene thought it sounded worse than it was. “It could be, but it doesn’t have to be. I let my feelings for Andy go too far based on a misunderstanding. Isn’t that what truth does—redirects a person’s mind, heart, and body?”

  “Ya, it does. I usually don’t share this, but I had a fiancé before Levi. I found him in the arms of my cousin the day before my wedding. Discovering that truth certainly redirected how I felt and responded to him after that. But this between you and Andy is different.”

  “Ya, I know. The moral issue of him being married.”

  “Ethics and morals are a different topic for another time, in my opinion. My fear is for Andy, for his heart.” She folded her arms while looking at her feet. “Saying that his marital situation is tough for him would be a huge understatement. But everything would become unbearably harder if he were to fall in love with someone.”

  The word love skittered through Jolene, making her feel as if she held a flashlight in a dark room, searching until the beam illuminated just the right item. Was she already in love with Andy? Interested—definitely. Admired him and was attracted to him—no doubt. But would they have to work at not falling in love? If so, how? “We won’t let that happen, and if it did, it wouldn’t be worse only for him. It would be equally hard on me.”

  “Would it?” Sadie focused on her, looking skeptical. “You’re free to get over the heartache and find new love. He will never be free, Jolene. But his situation can become more unbearable.”