Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3)

by Maria Macdonald

  “You okay? he asks me tenderly.

  “Yeah, I just wish there was something more I could do for him,” I explain dropping my head.

  “Hey,” he says, stopping and grabbing my chin, lifting my face until he catches my gaze. “He has to move past this, you can’t do any more than be there for him if and when he needs us, that’s all we can do. I don’t know if he’ll ever get past it. I wouldn’t if it were you.” Leaning down Dane captures my lips with his and softly sweeps across them before pulling back. “Come on, let’s leave him be, the last thing he wants is a happy couple in his home.” Then he pulls me outside and back to the car.

  We start driving away and I bite my lip not wanting to ask the question that’s been floating around my head since being at Jenson’s.

  “You want to grab some lunch?” Dane asks and I look over to him nodding as I do. “What’s up? You have that look on your face, the one that tells me you’re over-analysing things.”

  “No, I’m fine,” I reply.

  “Listen, we have a lot of things to talk about, things we’ve been putting off since we came out of the hospital. But what we need be able to do is talk to each other. Otherwise, we’ll never sort anything out. The centre of any good relationship is communication.” He stops and rubs his chin in thought.

  “Since when did you become so clued up on relationships?” I tease.

  “That’s exactly what I was just thinking.” He grins over at me. “I’m still waiting.”

  I huff and cross my arms but when he says nothing else just grinning, slowly I start to speak. “It’s just…well…I didn’t really realise we were a couple.”

  “Fuck yeah, we are,” Dane answers with unwavering certainty. “You’re mine, I’ve told you that already, and I’m sure as fuck yours. In my world that means we’re a couple.”

  “I just…there’s so much to talk about still,” I whisper my heart beating so fast it’s like a thousand butterflies in my chest.

  “There is, you’re right, but that doesn’t make you any less mine Nova. And this may make me sound like an arse, but I don’t give a shit. You are mine, even if you don’t think you are, of that you can be certain, there is no discussion about that fact.”

  My pussy sex clenches at his words. The demanding way in which he’s said them. It’s controlling, but not in the usual way men try to control women. The only real way he ever tries to control me is in the bedroom and that I can get on board with.

  “So it’s you and me?” I mumble.

  “Yep,” Dane replies holding my hand, his gaze focused out of the window.

  “So there’s no-one else? You’re only with me, right?” I didn’t want to ask, but I also need to be clear. The last thing I want is to get this wrong.

  “There never was. It was always you. Now it’s us,” he states and I know I’ll never need to clarify that ever again.

  “Thank you,” I tell him biting my lip.

  “What for baby?”

  “Just for loving me, for always loving me. And for protecting me.”

  “The first is not a hardship, Nova, the second will always be a given.”

  I sit silently and let my mind wander over my life since he left it. There’s been a lot of mediocre and hurt, pain, and sadness in my life. The only happy has been when he’s been in it.

  “I love you too, Dane,” I tell him softly and he squeezes my hand in his, giving me everything that is him with that one touch.

  The frost is starting to settle in Dane’s back garden, I notice it while staring out from our bedroom window. Although it shouldn’t be surprising as it’s now November. Three weeks has passed since I came out of the hospital and I’m recovered. Physically. I’m not sure the mental scars will ever fully heal, but Dane makes everything so much better. We talked the other day when we went to lunch after visiting Jenson. Dane asked some questions about my past, but I clammed up. Thankfully he let it go and hasn’t asked since. He’s such a good guy I wish he would believe it himself. Right now he’s downstairs, I can hear him, making me breakfast. Since living in America, I’ve grown fond of pancakes and bacon, so that’s what he’ll be cooking.

  When I came out of the shower and got dressed, I looked out over the garden and something suddenly occurred to me. Everything Dane has created is for me. He may have lost me, he probably thought he’d never see me again. Still, this house, this home, it’s everything I wanted when we talked about our future as kids. It had to be a big house, but still welcoming. Safe. I’d wanted high ceilings because in foster care I’d always felt crammed in. I remember saying that I loved the idea of having a large garden, something yet again that was missing while in care. But the most important thing, something that I dreamt about was a conservatory, somewhere to sit when it rains, listening to the noise, enjoying the beauty of something that most people run away from. I’ve always loved the rain. I’ve been here these last few weeks and this is the first time my eyes have really opened to what he’s built for us. For me. Now it’s time to talk about our history. Lay it all out on the table, make sure we have no secrets going forward.

  I amble down the stairs taking my time, going over what I need to say in my head. As I’m nearly at the bottom, Dane rounds the corner putting his hands around my waist and lifting me into the air, spinning me around.

  “Dane!” I chuckle as everything goes blurry. Then slowly he comes to a stop allowing me to slide down the front of his body until my chest is flush with his stomach and my face is nuzzled into his throat. He quickly backs me against the wall and leans down capturing my mouth with his and owning our kiss unashamedly. Dane commands my body and makes no apologies for that, I love every second under his rule.

  Pulling back he speaks into my ear, the warmth of his breath making me tingle and burn. “I’ve missed you, I’m not sure how much longer I can wait to be back inside you baby. My cock wants to go home.”

  I laugh at his words. “You big dork.”

  “What? It’s not my fault Nova, I can’t help that every part of my body is missing every part of yours.” He demonstrates his meaning by once again taking my lips and dipping his tongue inside to join mine in a caressing dance. Tangling and stroking and lighting up every single part of me. My hands find their way into his hair and I grip and tug as he owns my mouth.

  “Come on,” Dane says tearing his lips away and grabbing my hand. He almost pulls my shoulder out as he drags us through the hallway to the conservatory. In the centre, he has laid down the cushioning from the wicker sofas that sit in the room. He’s made what is effectively a little bed.

  “I thought we would eat breakfast on the floor today then, well...it started raining about five minutes ago. Do you remember when we used to lay on the floor with the curtains and windows open listening to the rain?” I nod at him as I bite my lip to stop from getting emotional. “I thought it might be nice to watch the rain above us, I’ve pulled the blinds so it will be like laying in the rain…you know, without actually getting wet,” he explains, smiling and I see a glimpse of that seventeen-year-old again.

  “I’m already wet,” I confess, taking in his eyes as they change immediately from boyish to all man, becoming hooded while his mouth emits a groan.

  “I can’t…” he explains, “I need you now.”

  “Then take me,” I tremble as he pushes me onto my back and climbs over so I’m pinned under him. Leaning down he takes my mouth again, urgency in his exploration. His hand swiftly navigates its way to the tie on my bathrobe, and he makes quick work of untangling it, pulling each side away, exposing the boy shorts and tank that I threw on after my shower. He drags his lips away from my mouth and simultaneously sucks and kisses his way down my neck while his hand travels over my breast pinching the nipple. I moan on an exhale of breath and he moves away looking into my eyes for a second like he’s trying to figure something out, then lazily scorching his mark all over my body as his eyes wander over me.

  “You know how I love matching sets.” He smirks lo
oking at my underwear. “It’s a shame really,” he continues and I frown at him confused. Shrugging he says, “Gonna have to take these off now baby. I don’t have the time or restraint to be nice.” Then he leans back, and before I have time to open my mouth and protest he’s ripped my tank right down the middle, I splutter for a moment before realising he hasn’t stopped as he grabs the boy shorts and does the same.

  “Dane! You keep doing that,” I complain, but I’m so turned on that my complaint sounds more breathy and excited than annoyed.

  He shrugs. “Figured I’d do both seeing as they were a matching set, no point having one without the other.” He gives me no chance to respond before cupping my breast and sucking then biting my nipple, then repeating the process. “Fuck,” he grinds out sitting back and then standing up. It’s the first look I’ve gotten from him today. He left me sleeping this morning, and when he accosted me on the stairs, I didn’t get a good look at him. I make up for that now, by letting my eyes peruse his beautiful body. He has nothing on top, so I take my time scanning his chest and arms taking in every curve like a piece of artwork. I trail down following the small line of hair that disappears into a pair of button fly jeans which haven’t been done all the way up, finishing with his bare feet. Moving back to his head, his hair looks like I’ve just run my hands through it, which of course I have. That teamed with his lust-filled eyes and his lips, the corner slightly tipped up sends a new wave of wetness straight to my centre. I keep my eyes on Dane as he pulls his jeans off and stands there naked, his cock standing proud waiting for me, the tip glistens as pre-cum seeps out. I immediately start rising, licking my lips ready to take him in my mouth.

  “No,” he orders making me stop dead. “I need to be in you. Now. Get rid of the robe.” His commanding voice send shivers across my body, and I throw the robe and what’s remaining of my tank and boy shorts away, then lay back down. Dane takes no prisoners or time when he crawls back over me, settling himself at my entrance. “I’m gonna fuck you now. So hold on baby,” he says before thrusting fully into me in one movement. The feeling of him suddenly filling me takes my breath away, and I gulp trying to catch the oxygen in the room that’s eluding me.

  “You okay?” he asks and I nod, closing my eyes and moving my pelvis up to meet him. I need to say nothing more as he pulls back and rams into me again, then again, until I don’t care what’s going on around me as I’m immersed in pleasure.

  “Dane, harder,” I babble as the pleasure intensifies.

  “Fuck you harder? That I can do,” he states then pushes my legs up so my ankles are resting on his shoulders. Gripping my thighs he moves back then thunders into me, over and over until I’m about to explode with bliss. I can hear the rain lashing against the window keeping time with Dane.

  The orgasm that I was on the cusp of ebbs away as he brings my legs back down and stills.

  “You will last longer,” he dictates and I say nothing as my pussy throbs with need. After what feels like a lifetime he moves back and forth at a slower pace sliding in and out of me. He builds it up until the intensity ramps right back up to breaking point. I run my nails across and down his back starting at his shoulders, the need to ease some of the coiled up frustration inside of me is so great that my body takes over and acts instinctively as though on autopilot.

  Dane looks down on me. There's a pulsing running through my body and ending between my legs. His lips move along my throat coating it in kisses as he rocks himself back and forth inside, grinding into my clit. Suddenly, Dane bites my neck and I arch off the bed, scraping my nails down his back again.

  "Harder," he orders as my hands reach his waist.

  "What?" I breathe, trying to listen but feeling the waves stroking my edges, ready to crash.

  "Your nails, dig them in harder. I want to feel you everywhere. I need to know you're alive, you're mine, that you'll never leave me. I'll fucking bleed for you. Make me yours, Nova. Make your mark on the outside like you always have on the inside."

  His words are my undoing and while I’m pulsing and sparking, I tear my nails down his back and hear him roar out his climax. He drops on top of me and both of us have a layer of sweat making our skin glisten.

  We lay and watch the rain beating on the glass as lightning sets the sky alive above us.

  “I guess I need another shower now.” I giggle once the rain dies down and I have my breath back.

  “Let’s go have a shower then. This time, I’ll take my time getting reacquainted with your body,” he tells me a grin spreading from cheek to cheek.

  My thoughts stray back to this morning while my eyes wander to the hallway. It’s been three hours since I came down those stairs, ready to talk. Then Dane swept me off my feet, literally. After some fun in the shower and him cooking a fresh breakfast we’re snuggled up on the sofa, and he has the television on lazily flicking through the channels.

  “Dane,” I speak before my brain has actually kicked in, now there’s no going back.

  “Nova,” he replies continuing to move from channel to channel. I pull the television remote from his grasp and press the power off button.

  Dane chuckles. “You could’ve just said my switching channels was annoying you baby.”

  “It’s not that, it’s…” I stop talking as I wonder how to get this conversation started and I pull away from him to sit up.

  “Nova?” he questions the smile wiped from his face and it makes me feel sad.

  “Sorry, I just thought it was time we talked.” My explanation makes him take notice and his face goes blank. “We don’t have to—”

  “No. You’re right, it’s time, and if you’re comfortable then we shouldn’t put it off anymore,” he says, much softer than his face implies.

  “I want you to tell me first, tell me what happened? Why you didn’t come back?” The pain of remembrance is almost enough to stop me saying the words, but I need to know. I waited for him and he never returned. It scarred me and has impacted my entire life. I never really got over the loss.

  “What?” his voice is lashing and I’m momentarily thrown at his sudden change in demeanour. “You think I didn’t come back? I’m sorry Nova, but you’ve confused me. I know I told you a little of what happened the day you got your memory back, but you were so distraught you might not remember. Even so I’m aware that some fucked up shit went on, but I was told you ran?” The words are like taking a bullet to the chest.

  “I did run, from Kurtis. I waited for you to come get me, but you didn’t. So all these years of pain, hurt and anguish were because of a misunderstanding?” I choke on my own words.

  “No. They fucking weren’t. Fucking hell!” Dane roars making me flinch. Standing up he starts pacing the floor.

  I watch him for a beat then tentatively ask, “What is it?” My question makes him pause and his scarily angry face softens as soon as he looks at me, making me lose the breath I didn’t know I was holding.

  Coming to sit back next to me and grabbing my hand he explains, “I came back from the photo shoot. You weren’t at Kurtis and Shelly’s so I called Ryan. He met me at Larks Café. Told me that Kurtis had attacked you…” He pauses with his words swallowing and taking a second to get his emotion under control. “Ryan said you’d left, that you’d run away. You asked him for money and he offered for you to stay with him, but you said no. You gave Ryan an ultimatum. Either give you some money for a train or you were going to be hitchhiking to wherever you were going. Ryan said he’d given you money and you’d promised to stay in touch, but obviously you hadn’t.” Dane shakes his head as his teeth grind. “The worst thing was that he didn’t tell me any of that straightaway. When I came back you were gone and I asked him, he said had no clue where you were, only telling me later that actually he had given you money and helped you leave. I had no reason to doubt him, I looked for you but never had any leads. After a while, it just hurt all the time. So I stopped looking. Well, I stopped looking myself. I still had people who kept their ear to the
ground so to speak. It hurt too much to believe in a dream. That’s how it felt at that point like a dream.” He stops talking and grips my hand tighter. “But you’re here now baby, and if this is a dream then leave me plugged into the fucking Matrix because I’m happy for the first time in years.”

  I can feel the sadness seeping through my skin as well as the emptiness coming back, filling my insides with black, with nothing. I don’t talk about my past, I don’t even remember it myself. There are reasons why. I have locked that part of my history away. Then when I lost my memory I didn’t need to lock it away anymore, or consciously ignore it, my brain had fixed that problem for me. Since my memory came back, I’ve purposely pushed the thoughts back into that box. Now I need to face it, to let it out and exorcize the demons that I carry. I can’t think of anyone better than Dane to help me do just that.

  “I waited for you. I pined, and even though my heart was broken when you left, I was still desperate for your return.” I watch a sadness colour his face as he swallows and looks at our entwined fingers. “I stayed away from the house as much as I could. Ryan let me crash at his a fair bit. Then we had a disagreement…” I pause and try to think about how best to explain.

  “What.” Dane snaps.

  I look back up to his face. “He kind of tried to kiss me and I pushed him away.”

  “That fucker,” he spits.

  “When it happened I went back home. By the time I’d done the thirty-minute walk I had cleared my head some and figured Ryan was a bit drunk. Some of his friends had been over and the alcohol was flowing, he probably didn’t mean what happened. But it was too late to turn back, so I went to the house and was intending to go back to Ryan’s in the morning.” I take a massive breath in, allowing it to slowly flow back out of me, closing my eyes as it does. Then I’m quiet.

  “What happened that night, baby?” Dane’s voice is so soft and tender, he gives me renewed courage to relive my past.