Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3)

by Maria Macdonald

  “No, not like a fucking spy,” I complain and she giggles.

  “I’ve been trained in a lot of things. I can kill someone in the blink of an eye, without thinking twice. And have done. Many times. I’m not a good person, Nova.”

  “Who have you killed?” she whispers and I want to gag her so she stops interrupting me.

  “A lot of people, I can’t tell you names.” I sigh.

  “Innocent people?”

  “No,” I confirm.

  “Children?”

  “Never.”

  “People who would kill innocents and children?” She looks at me, sadness swimming in her eyes. I nod my reply. “Then stop beating yourself up. You were ridding the world of bad people. The way I see it you were doing us all a favour.”

  “How can you take this all so lightly?” I ask my own question now as even though I know she’s strong, I’m still slightly shocked.

  “Because I would do it.”

  “What?” I ask hoping she’s going to clarify her words.

  Nova looks me straight in the eye. “I would kill them. If I knew it was someone that would harm a child or harm someone completely innocent, then I would be able to pull the trigger. And I wouldn’t feel fucking bad about it either.” Her words hold conviction and I know she’s not lying. She absolutely believes what she says.

  “Okay baby, calm down. There’s nobody to shoot tonight.” I wink and she cocks her eyebrow.

  “You carry on and there might be,” she moans at me and I grin.

  “It all happened so naturally.” I swallow and clamp my teeth together. Hard. Trying to scrape off the excess energy that I can feel tingling up my spine. I’m nervous of this, of telling her. I want her to love me, but I’m scared she’ll see a monster.

  “What is it?” she asks stroking my face. Her touch relieves the pressure I feel inside and I unclench my jaw and explain.

  “When I came back from the photo shoot and you were gone, I was…I was…devastated. I couldn’t cope. I was lost, hurt and if I’m honest…ruined.” I study her face as tears spring into her eyes. “When I spoke to Ryan and he told me Kurtis had attacked you, hurt you, that’s why you’d run off. It was only four hours after I left Kurtis’s house that Jenson caught up with me. Said he’d been watching me. I could go with him or go to prison. My choice.”

  The tears spill freely over her face now as she twists her fingers together in her lap. “What happened? Why would you have gone to prison?” she asks, I can almost see her brain working, she already knows the answer but she has to hear it from me.

  I stare into her eyes. "He was my first Nova."

  "Your first what?" she whispers

  "My first kill," I reply.

  She exhales quickly but says nothing more. “It turns out Jenson had been watching me. He needed to recruit someone, and they usually look for males in foster care at a certain age. One’s that have no blood family. I fitted the bill perfectly. So did Ryan apparently. Jenson was watching us for a few months, but with my fitness levels he wanted me. When I killed Kurtis, he was able to swoop in before the police got to me. The thing you have to understand is that Jenson wasn’t going to recruit me. He had seen us together, he knew I wasn’t going to leave you. Even at that age. And he didn’t think it wise for people to have relationships while working with them because of having weaknesses. Like him and Hilary.”

  I stop and shake my head.

  Poor fucker.

  “I didn’t delay in accepting his proposition. I didn’t have you, so I felt empty. Not liking the idea of prison I figured there was nothing to lose. Not anymore.” Nova bites her lip as her tears continue. “Jenson trained me, looked after me. I would’ve died on more than one occasion without him. I’m out now. I want to have a normal life with you and the guys. I found them and they rescued me. But my survival is because of you. You’re my reason to carry on, to live. You Nova. I love those guys, but I’ll never explain myself to them, not like I have to you. If they saw me this way, they would think that I have worked hard to become a cold and calculating killer. The truth is I have to work even harder every damn day to be a warm and loving brother. It doesn’t come naturally, although, it is a lot easier now. They’re all in my heart and that means they have my loyalty. And I’d kill for any of them. But you. Shit. Nova, I’d kill for you, but I’d also die for you. Without a second thought.”

  “Dane,” she whispers, leaning forward and sticking her head into my chest, wrapping her arms around my back. “You’re everything…you’re just…everything.” She hiccup sobs her words out and I hold her tight.

  I hold her close and finally feel the light inside me. My dream became a reality the day I found her again. My salvation. My light.

  I can hear the birds singing this morning. Feeling the warm sun shining through the window, covering my face. I look over and watch as Dane’s sexy ass and flawless back are fully on show just for me as he moves to the bathroom.

  “Morning,” I croak.

  He looks back to me over his shoulder and smiles. It’s a full-on, I want to blind you, breath-taking, heart rate increasing, type of smile. “Morning baby.” I blink a couple of times as he disappears, all sense has left my mind and I just gawk at the closed door.

  “Stop staring at the door Nova,” he calls and I quickly look around the room.

  “What the fuck Dane? Have you got a camera in here or something?” I ask, my hands sitting on my hips even though I’m still lying in bed.

  I hear him chuckle. “No baby. I just know you, is all.”

  “Ass,” I grumble imagining the grin he’s sporting as I haul myself out of bed. Hearing him turn on the shower I stare out of the bedroom window, thinking about how much we’ve managed to clear up. How honest we’ve been with each other and knowing we’re so much stronger for it. I make my way to the bathroom and test the handle. Unlocked. I know what that means. Opening the door, the steam assaults my face.

  “I wondered how long it would take you,” I hear Dane say from inside the double shower cubicle.

  “Sure of yourself aren’t you big guy?” I reply with a grin.

  “No baby, just hopeful,” he tells me, then pops open the shower door inviting me in. I take my time perusing him. The water trickles from his wet hair all the way down a completely naked Dane. A nun would have trouble saying no to this man, especially how he looks right now. I lick my lips and smile up at him through hooded eyes. Dane reaches out of the shower and flicks on the iPod dock. Until The End of Time by Justin Timberlake starts up. Grabbing my hand he hauls me into the cubicle and pushes my naked body up against the tiled wall.

  “Listen to the song while I love you,” he says, taking my lips with his. I feel his fingertips making their way up my legs. They get to my waist and he turns them around, pushing his palms up my ribs reaching my breasts and covering them. He pulls back and looks into my eyes.

  “You listen to the words too Dane. It works both ways,” I whisper and he leans in capturing my mouth once again. This time he thrusts his tongue inside and I find my hands move of their own accord, running through his hair. As he drags his mouth away and bites my ear I can feel his stubble against my cheek and it send shivers through me. One of his hands snake around my neck and gathers my hair at the back of my head.

  “I’m going to sink to my knees and bury my face in your pussy. My tongue will stroke you while my fingers explore. And you will not come. Do you understand?” Dane breathes in my ear. I nod.

  He pulls my hair sharply, but not enough to hurt. “Say the words,” he demands.

  “Yes baby, I won’t come.” My voice sounds like gravel and every nerve is on edge. Suddenly with no more delay Dane drops to his knees, the shower is still on over the other side of the double cubicle. I’ve missed most of the water so far, but Dane’s wet hair coats the insides of my legs as he leans down and bites just above my knees. Letting his mouth attack me, his hands move up and push my thighs apart. I groan as he licks the seam of my sex, ma
king it part slightly but not enough for him to catch my clit. His tongue is light and soft and tickles while turning me on all at the same time. My fingers delve back into his hair and he looks up at me shaking his head no.

  “What?” I simper.

  “Pull yourself apart for me baby, open up so I can eat you.” His words make me spasm and I instantly reach down with both hands, resting just above my pubic bone, then slipping two fingers from each hand over my lips pulling them apart and watch his eyes flare.

  “Mmm, that’s right Nova, glistening, all for me, just the way I like it.” He surges forward his mouth taking purchase on my clit and sucking me. Hard. I whimper with arousal and lay my head back against the tiles. Closing my eyes, I feel him. Every movement. Every lash of his tongue. Desperately trying not to lose my restraint. I feel two fingers push into me. They’re slow, laborious and he twists them inside, one way then the other, making me pulse around him. I feel the loss of his mouth for a moment but refrain from looking down when I hear, “Tut tut Nova. Keep your control or I will punish you.” His words make me pulse again. “You like that idea? In that case let’s see what we can do to make it happen.” His mouth finds me once again and he pushes harder into me. Dane’s nose moves against my clit. His tongue, joining his fingers inside me. I feel his other hand which has been holding onto my inner thigh move backward past my pussy until it runs between my ass cheeks. He pushes his hand all the way up the parting until his fingers hit my lower back, then bringing it back down he stops when one fingertip rests at my puckered virgin hole. He pushes gently against it, then brings his hand back to my pussy. Removing his two fingers from my channel he inserts one finger from the other hand, working back and forth and making me cry out with a mixture of frustration and ecstasy, clinging to the little control I have left. Quickly swapping back, his tongue and two fingers working my front again, he pushes the other hand back between my cheeks, once again finding the entrance, this time with his lubricated finger he pushes against my untouched opening.

  “Dane,” I groan grinding myself against his face. I lose his tongue as his mouth pulls back, then instantly he’s covering my clit, sucking. He picks up speed with his fingers inside me, at the same time he pushes the other finger into my untouched opening. All of that hitting me at once is too much and I erupt, screaming his name and pulling my hands away from myself to wind them back into his hair, this time pulling his head nearer to my pussy as well as trying to push him away. My body is on overload and I can’t control my reactions, I’m completely powerless when it comes to Dane. But I’m happy to relinquish sexual control to him. Very happy.

  Dane moves his head away and looks up at me. Hair wet and sticking out in every direction, a smirk on his face and a glint in his eyes. “Now Nova, you didn’t do as you were told. Time for your punishment.” Yet again I feel his words turn me on. I have no idea what he has in mind. Until Dane, I’ve had pretty mundane sex. I’ve had a lot of firsts with him. I know he won’t hurt me, so I’m ready to try anything. I trust him. With all of me.

  “Come,” he says and drags me back into the bedroom. “Now it’s your turn to kneel.” His words make my mouth water as I look from his big brown eyes to his long, thick, hard cock. “No baby. Don’t get ahead of yourself, just do as you’re told.” My nipples ache from standing on end and I rub them over. “Don’t touch,” Dane orders pulling my hands away. I pout and his intense eyes bore into me, which makes me catch my breath. “Kneel now,” he commands and I do so. “Face the end of the bed,” he tells me. I twist until I’m kneeling before the footboard of the bed. I hear him disappear for a moment, he returns and grips my wrists one at a time tying me to the four poster bed. Once my arms are spread, he grabs my hips. “I’m gonna lift you baby when I do you lay your head on the bed and your arse in the air for me.”

  “Okay,” I answer. Shivering, I’m worried he’s going to go somewhere with his cock that I’ve never allowed anyone to go before, and I don’t want it to hurt.

  As if sensing my worry he chuckles, saying, “I’m not going there today baby. One day, but not today.” I relax and smile. Dane pulls my legs up suddenly, making me squeal. Once I’m in position, my cheek against the bed sheets, each arm tied to a post in different directions and my bottom half exposed for Dane, he steps up behind me and slaps my ass. The sting is immediate and I gasp, what I don’t expect is the fingers entering my pussy straight after and the pleasure and pain feeling makes my body throb.

  “Dane,” I hiss.

  “I know Nova. That was for being naughty. Seeing as I’m not really into that kind of kink…well, not fully. That’s where it will stop for today, but I’m going to fuck you hard now, so hang on to the bed.” I do as I’m told and feel him ram into me. His hips slam against my ass until he finds a hard and fast pace. I can feel his balls hitting my clit and then his thumb pushes into my newly explored hole.

  “Dane! Fuck! Oh my God,” I scream.

  His pace picks up as my second orgasm flows through me. Then I hear him roar out, “Fuuuck Nova!” Before filling me.

  Leaning forward laying his body on mine, he starts lazily kissing down my spine before pulling out of me and undoing my binds. He turns me to face him and kisses my lips softly. “Time for a real shower.” Smiling he looks down at me and walks off into a bathroom full of steam because we didn’t turn the shower off, and I can’t help but smile knowing I’m the luckiest women on the planet.

  “Hey!” Soph shouts throwing her arms around my neck.

  While Pea smiles a soft “Hiya,” then a “Shh Soph,” drops from her lips as she gestures to Eleanor, who seems to be currently halfway to sleep on her lap.

  Soph rolls her eyes at me which makes me smile. “It’s so good to see you. I feel like it’s been forever lady.”

  “I know. With everything that’s happened over the last few weeks, it really does feel like it’s been ages. How was your honeymoon?” I ask taking in Soph’s sun-kissed skin.

  “Pfft. It was a honeymoon. You know lots of sex and not a lot else. I want to know what’s been going on with you and Dane,” she says dragging me to the sofa and setting us both down.

  I giggle at her and reply, “Well, if I’m going to be completely honest…it’s been a lot like you described your honeymoon. Except there was more death and violence.” Soph smiles then her eyes go wide.

  “Yeah, I can’t ask you about that stuff Saul said, and although I would usually ignore him...” She winks at me a mischievous grin spread across her face, which suddenly drops. “This time I get it’s important for me not to ask, and not to know. So I won’t. Just tell me you’ll be okay, that he’ll be okay?” Soph pauses and bites her lip for a second. “Tell me the two of you as a couple will be okay too? ‘Cause honestly, I don’t think Dane will ever find anyone if it’s not you.”

  I pull her in for a hug and she yelps shocked, then settles into me rubbing my back. I pull back and look between them. They both have the same worried looks written across their faces.

  “It’s simple ladies. I love him. I always have.” Sighing I stand up and look at all the photos on Pea’s mantle across the fireplace. There’s photos of her and Con, baby Eleanor, then the three of them together. There’s a photo of her and Soph and one of the whole of Saul and Soph’s wedding party, including me, which makes me feel fuzzy inside. Then there’s one of Pea, Dane and Saul. I look between them, but my eyes settle on Dane. “I forgot about him for so many years, and when I think of that now it hurts that we lost so much time. But honestly, I’m just so thankful to have him back. I have no intention of letting him go,” I explain picking up the photo and letting my fingertips drift over Dane’s face. Both Pea and Soph are quiet so I look over to them. Their smiles both aimed directly at me, replicate each other.

  “Okay, enough sappiness,” Soph declares standing. “I say we have a good three hours until the guys come back from the gym. We can’t do ‘boy talk’ because it feels almost incestual nowadays with the relationships we have.
We could do a movie—”

  “Err…no thanks,” I interrupt remembering them putting me through hours of hell with their chick flicks in Vegas. Soph pouts but then looks over at Pea and a massive smile suddenly hits her features.

  “Don’t even think about it. I am not dressing up again.” Pea raises her eyebrow and shakes her head just to confirm what she said. Soph is quite comical as she crosses her arms and I decide not to ask the story in case it starts an argument.

  “What about a Wii game?” I suggest spying the console next to the television. “I mean if you’re putting Eleanor to bed in a minute? You were saying on the phone a few weeks ago how you miss having a laugh on the Wii…” I stop talking when they both stare at me.

  “That’s a freaking great idea!” Soph shrieks and Pea shushes her again, making Soph slap her hand across her mouth, eyes widening looking over at Eleanor.

  “I’ll take her to bed. Get the Wii Sing Rock one, okay?” Pea throws over her shoulder as she makes her way up the stairs.

  Once she’s back down and the doors are all shut, making sure the baby monitor is on loud, Soph has first go at singing. She picks Meredith Brooks song Bitch. Then proceeds to have us nearly rolling around the floor by putting actions to the songs. When it’s Pea’s turn she picks Evanescence, Bring Me to Life. Her singing is simply beautiful and she should be a professional. I sit and watch her mesmerised. My turn sees me singing Alone by Heart and the girls clap when I’ve finished. The rounds go on and on and we find the tears of laughter start falling pretty quickly. I can’t help but be grateful that these women are now part of my life.

  The session at the gym has been good. I’ve got some angst out. It helped that Saul put Gun’s N Roses on the stereo. Managing to explain some of what’s happened to the guys without giving them any dangerous information proved easier than I thought it would be. They’re both happy to accept whatever I offer to give them, without badgering me for more.