Never Let Go (Take My Hand)

by Nicola Haken

  “I-I won’t,” she promised, raw emotion making her voice stutter. “Not ever.”

  “Fuck yes!” Snickers sang, clapping her hands together. I flashed her a look that said I knew she couldn’t go a day without swearing. “Whatever, American. My best friend is getting married! That warrants a hell of a lot of fucking swearing!”

  Emily laughed, choking on her sniffles. Then she lunged forward and kissed me like we were alone – throwing every ounce of effort into licking and teasing every corner of my mouth and making my dick twitch uncomfortably in my tight jeans.

  “I love you so much,” she snivelled as she broke free, and then a furore of clapping erupted around us. I sighed happily, feeling more content than I ever thought possible. My future is a bright place, and one I can’t wait to start living in.

  **********

  Emily drove us all into Manchester. Queen Snickers took the front passenger seat which meant that us three guys were practically sitting on each others’ laps in the back. Getting out and stretching my legs after being so cramped in Em’s tiny car was second best only to a freakin’ orgasm.

  After parking the car in a private lot across the street we made our way over to join the line that curled right around the building. I draped my arm over Emily’s shoulder – my fiancées shoulder – and I felt like the proudest, luckiest motherfucker in the world. Snickers and Jared were still bickering behind us – they had been since the moment Jared asked my Aunt Sarah if the noise of the concert would hurt the babies’ ears. Being a midwife, Jared seemed appeased when she told him that it wouldn’t, but Snickers had been muttering something about him embarrassing her ever since.

  “You good, man?” I asked Chris. I’d made a point of not asking him until that point because I know it annoys the hell out of him when people ‘fuss’, but when I saw him lean against the cool brick and close his eyes, I started to worry this was a bad idea.

  “Sure,” he answered, keeping his eyes closed and taking a deep breath through his nose. “Just enjoying the cool air.”

  “Just think, Danny O’Donoghue is in this building,” Emily said excitedly, stroking the exterior wall. “He’s so close to us! We’ll be breathing the same air!”

  “Bet he’s just glad to be under a roof for a couple of hours rather than lying under damp newspaper in a shop doorway,” Snickers piped up.

  “Oh, Rachel, he does not look homeless! He looks cool and sexy and…oomph!”

  In that moment I pondered where I could get my hands on a pair of skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and a black waistcoat – that’s all I’ve ever seen the dude wear. I should point out that outfit would be for bedroom only purposes - no way in hell would I been seen out in public like that. For once I agree with Snickers – the dude looks like a hobo. “Eeeek, we’re moving!” Emily squealed when the line started to inch forward.

  It’d been a long time since I’d seen her so excited – if ever. The thought strummed on my heart. She might not have had that many opportunities to feel this happy since we met, but I will make damn sure her future is filled with them.

  It took forty minutes for the entrance to come into view once the queue started moving, then another twenty to actually get into the building. It was basically a fairly small club, with a bar spanning the width of one side and a stage at the front. There were only a handful of tables with chairs, all of which were taken when we got inside. I was about to ask someone if they would mind donating their seat to Chris when Snickers rolled past me.

  “I got this,” she whispered, wheeling over to one of the tables. Chart music was playing through the speakers so I didn’t actually hear her, but I discovered I’m actually pretty good at lip-reading. Who knew? “Hey, guys,” she said to the people sitting at the table, interrupting their conversation. One of them weighed up her wheelchair before he even looked at her – gawping at her as if her disability was contagious. “Mind if I stay here? I need to be near the toilets.” What is she doing? “Ugh, this pregnancy,” she continued, rubbing her bump. “Keeps making me throw up. Sometimes I don’t even get a warning. I’ll just be sitting there minding my own business, and suddenly I’ll look down and I’m covered in sick. It’s disgusting.”

  Credit where it’s due, she’s a fucking good actress. Nothing about her gave her away – no unevenness in her voice, no blushing… she was a perfect, brazen and confident liar.

  “You better watch that one, dude,” I muttered teasingly to Jared, leaning over towards his ear so he could hear me over the music. “I’ve never known such a confident bullshitter.”

  “Nah, mate. I know her too well for her to pull that shit on me.” He spoke assuredly, and I didn’t doubt he was right. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people more perfectly designed for each other than those two.

  “Actually, um, I think we’re gonna go and stand near the stage to dance. Right guys?” one of the suddenly uncomfortable looking girls in the group seated around the table said. The rest of them nodded eagerly and then stood from their seats. “Table’s yours,” she tacked on, stepping cautiously past Snickers like she might detonate any second.

  “Result!” Snickers proclaimed proudly as we all took up a now spare seat at the table.

  “How do you do that without getting embarrassed?” Emily asked, blushing enough for the two of them.

  “It’s a gift.”

  Jared and I were designated the task of getting the drinks in, so together we made our way to the bar and ordered a round of Coke’s. I swear the bartender looked at me like I’d just asked if I could suck his dick. Why do most people assume you need alcohol to have a good time these days?

  Jared pulled out his wallet to pay for the drinks and I stood back and let him. What? The guy’s got more money than sense – or at least his dad has. While he finished up the transaction I started making my way back to the table, balancing a tray of glasses in my hands. Jared followed almost immediately and when we reached the table I handed everyone a drink and sat down in between Emily and Chris.

  “To best friends!” I toasted, holding my glass over the middle of the table. Everyone followed my lead and clinked their glass with mine. “You guys are my family,” I added, feeling content. I was engaged to the woman of my dreams – the woman who saved me from myself, I had these amazing friends, a surprise sister, and of course my Aunt Sarah. I remember arriving in this country last year fully intending to never get attached to anyone for longer than one night. I didn’t want people in my life. I didn’t need them and I sure as hell didn’t think I deserved them.

  That feels like a lifetime ago.

  “What is it with you Americans?” Snickers chimed. “You’re so bloody soppy. Next you’ll be thanking The Lord. You guys always do that shit too.”

  “How many other Americans do you know, Rach?” Chris butted in, laughing a little.

  “Hey, I watch the Oscars!”

  We all started laughing – at not with her – and then the lights started to dim, Emily shot up so fast from her chair I thought someone had stuck a bomb up her ass.

  “Oh my God they’re coming on!”

  The stage lit up and the musicians who were already on stage started playing out the first song. When the band walked on seconds later, the crowd went wild, almost as if they were trying to outdo the music. I looked up at Emily who was bobbing her head up and down as she tried to see past the mass of people standing in front of her. So without warning, I stood up from my chair and scooped her in my arms before lifting her up so she was sitting on my shoulders. I thought I heard her squeal but I couldn’t be sure over the thunderous music as the band went straight into one of their biggest hits ‘We Cry’.

  I nodded in the direction I was about to go to the other guys and then carried Emily forward, nudging and weaving my way through the swarm of people jumping up and down and dancing until we reached a spot near the stage. Emily clung to my body like a monkey, until she caught sight of Danny O’Donoghue and then she released her grip so she could clap a
nd sing.

  After a few minutes I lowered her down to the floor - partly because I wanted to see her and partly because she was getting freakin’ heavy. For the longest time she didn’t even look at me. While she stared at Danny I stared at her. Her red hair spilled in thick, bouncy curls down her back, swishing in time with her body as she danced. And her smile… I’ve seen her smile before but not that smile. It was so wide it illuminated her whole face. She looked so beautiful, so carefree and I was already trying to figure out ways I could put that smile back on her face after tonight.

  After the first song, the music stopped while the band introduced themselves and spouted some crap about how Manchester is one of their favourite cities. Seriously, like they expect us to believe they don’t say that to ever city they go to.

  “He’s so close I can see the sweat on his face!” Emily squeaked in my ear. Laughing softly at her enthusiasm, I took the opportunity to kiss her. I knew I wouldn’t have long and that she’d break away when the next song began, so I needed to make it good.

  I started by using my tongue to trace the outline of her lips before dipping inside and tasting her. She pressed herself to me like she was starved, paying my own mouth equal amounts of attention. Then, she slithered her hand in between our bodies and ran her fingers under my shirt. I kissed her harder, pulling her head towards mine with my fists clenched in her hair while I licked and sucked at her mouth.

  “Holy fuck, doll,” I growled, pressing my head into her neck when I felt her fingers delve into my pants and take hold of my now throbbing dick. She adjusted it slightly before stroking me up and down a couple of times as well as she could with the tight denim restricting her movement. Then she snapped her hand free and winked at me before turning back to the stage.

  I decided in that moment, music concerts are going to be a very regular part of our social lives in future. I love what they do to her!

  I have to admit I sang along to a couple of tracks myself. Apart from her Glee collection, The Script is the only other band Emily has on her iPod so naturally I’ve picked up a few of the lyrics along the way. By the intermission, Emily’s body was glistening from the light sheen of sweat that dusted her pale skin, so I took hold of hand and weaved her back through the crowd to our table where she could grab a drink. There were several more empty glasses on the table when we got there so I figured one of them had been replenishing the drinks.

  “Those are yours!” Jared called over the noise – they were back to playing regular chart music again. “We got you fresh ones.”

  “Yeah,” Snickers agreed. “The others went flat.”

  “Nothing to do with the fact you drank them eh, Rach?” Chris interrupted with a teasing smirk. She flipped him the middle finger and then patted the seat next to her for Emily to sit down.

  “Isn’t this amazing?” Emily squealed. Honestly, the whole night it’s sounded like she’s been high on helium. “Did you see, Rach? He was like right there. So close I could’ve probably touched him!”

  “From what I saw you were too busy touching the American,” Snickers joked. Aaaaaand bingo. Emily blushed, causing her cheeks to clash with her hair.

  The next set continued like the last. I carried Emily to the front and watched her in awe as she swayed, and sang and shook that fine booty of hers. What surprised me most, is that a few of their songs have mild rapping qualities that I could never keep up with – but Em knew every word and confidently sang her beautiful heart out to them. Everything about her tonight seduced me… the music brought out a confidence in her I’ve never seen before, a smile I’ve never witnessed, and dance moves I’d never seen her relax enough to perform. And on top of that, she agreed to be my wife. Me, Dexter Michaels – the guy who once thought he was nothing but a worthless, un-loveable addict, has landed himself a life better than one he could’ve ever dreamed of.

  And it’s all down to the stunning redhead hanging off my arm.

  “I’m gonna bury myself so deep inside you tonight, doll. You won’t be able to walk for a week without remembering this night,” I whispered in her ear as we made our way back to the table for the last time. My arm was around her waist and I felt her whole body stiffen at my words. Man, I will never get tired of having that effect on her.

  When we stepped back outside my ears were ringing. Jared and Snickers were laughing at something between themselves and Chris trailed slowly along next to Emily. He looked exhausted and I was real proud of him for sticking tonight out. I knew he only did it for Emily and I admired him so much for that.

  “You holding up okay?” I asked him discreetly.

  “Yeah, mate. Seeing you guys so happy tonight…” He shook his head while he searched for the words. “It’s been one of the best nights of my life.” I nodded in appreciation. I know how he felt because it was one of the best nights of my life too. “And I never got a chance to say thank you before.”

  “For what?” I asked curiously.

  “Proposing to Emmie. I know you maybe rushed into it for my sake, and you’ve no idea how much I appreciate that. I know you’ll take good care of her, mate, and I know once this is all over you’ll make her happy again.”

  “It isn’t rushed – please don’t think that. I’ve known for so long there is no one else for me, it was just a case of growing balls big enough to actually ask her.”

  “You couldn’t have doubted she’d say yes? Emmie adores you.”

  “I know that. I guess I just worried the sensible side of her would focus on her age, or what we’ve been through, and decide now isn’t the right time.”

  “Sensible goes out the window where you’re concerned. A sensible person would’ve abandoned your arse a long time ago.” There was a hint of humor in his weary voice, but nevertheless he spoke the truth. All I could do was nod, and it made me value my future wife all the more.

  “How about a race?” Snickers asked with a wicked glint in her eye. It was a welcome distraction from the heavy conversation I’d just had with Chris.

  “I’m not racing you,” I said, jerking my head back in confusion. “How the hell do you think you could possibly win?”

  “I bet you twenty quid I can reach that lamppost before you do,” she stated adamantly, pointing to the street lamp in the distance.

  “Don’t fall for it, mate,” Jared interjected. “She doesn’t play fair.”

  “Hmm, why doesn’t that surprise me?”

  “I can guarantee you she’ll win, but only by giving you a broken foot in the process.”

  “Jaz!” she complained. “You take the fun out of everything!”

  I shook my head and laughed. I had no idea what they were talking about and to be honest I didn’t really care. All I could think about was getting Em home… and in bed. That’s when the thought hit me – maybe racing Emily would be a better idea. If we ran, the faster we would be home and the quicker I could hear her moaning my name while I made her fall apart underneath me.

  “What about you, doll? You up for a race?”

  “Not a chance. Have you seen these heels Rachel made me buy?”

  Yes I’ve seen them… and when I get you home I want you wearing nothing but those shoes.

  “Come on. Race me!” I said, already getting my legs in a position to start sprinting. “Ready, set go!” I didn’t really expect her to run with me, so I wasn’t all that surprised when I reached the street lamp ahead alone. I looked back and saw them all continuing to walk at a snails pace towards me. “Spoilsport!” I yelled, cupping my hands around my mouth as a makeshift megaphone. The smiles every one of them wore were priceless, and I don’t think I had ever felt quite so happy.

  Then, it was all ripped away in an instant.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Dexter

  The van mounting the sidewalk happened so quickly, yet somehow my legs seemed to move in slow motion. I felt my jaw drop open when I saw it swerve. Emily was in its direct path and I screamed her name over and over until my throat started to
burn. People followed my cries and then skittered out of the way, screaming and gasping as they did. The van was just a couple of feet away from Emily when Chris saw what was happening. Without hesitation he lunged in front of her… but it was too late.

  They’d been hit.

  Both of them.

  My heart stopped.

  I started to cry.

  I ran harder and faster than I ever have in my life, but it wasn’t fast enough.

  “An ambulance!” I bellowed as I got nearer. “Somebody call an ambulance!”

  I dropped to my knees in between Chris and Emily. People started gathering around me and when I felt a hand on my shoulder I exploded.

  “Get the fuck off me!”

  “Dex, it’s just me,” Jared said, crouching down beside me. “Rachel’s on the phone to 999 right now.”

  “Emily? Emily?” I whimpered, afraid to touch her and risk hurting her more. “Emily, talk to me, doll. Please. Emily.”

  “I-I-Dex…I-”

  “Shh, doll. It’s okay, baby. You’re okay.” I breathed out a sigh of relief when I heard her weak, stuttering voice. I bent down and pressed my head gently to hers, terrified to look away from her eyes in case she slipped away from me.

  “Ch-Chris,” she mumbled.

  “He’s…” I began, and then I realised I had no idea how Chris was. I broke her gaze for just a second while I looked over to where he was lying. Jesus. His body was trapped between the van and a streetlamp, and a shallow pool of blood was forming around him. “Emily I’m going to check on him. I’m not going far, I won’t leave you,” I assured, wincing at the pain of my heart being pulled in two different directions. “You stay with me, Emily. I need you to promise you’ll stay with me.” She nodded weakly, barely noticeable. “Stay with her,” I ordered Jared, then I jumped to my feet and took three steps towards Chris’ body.

  “St-stay w-with Emmie,” he choked. The blood had completely drained from his face, so much so that his lips had turned a marbled shade of blue.