Love and Misfortune

by Kitty Parker

  "Just wonderful!" she sighed, dreamily. Parker couldn't contain his laughter, which set everyone else off except for Sadie and Emma, who didn't quite understand the humor.

  His mother took a step forward and placed a hand on Parker's chest, "It looks wonderful in here, Park; Sadie is going to love it," she whispered.

  Parker just smiled as he led the ladies into the elegantly dressed dining room. Sadie spun like a princess in a ball room. Her mouth hung open in awe, and a girlish giggle bubbled from her lips at the sight of Mrs. Sullivan's good china. "You did all of this for me?" she asked.

  "Sure did," Parker said exuberantly, putting his arms around the young girl. "I hope everything is to your liking."

  "Mama, we don't even use these plates for Christmas!" Lizzy exclaimed, brushing a finger over one of the plates.

  "That's correct dear, we only use them for very special occasions," Mrs. Sullivan smiled, throwing a wink at Sadie.

  If it was possible, the grin the spread across Sadie's face grew even wider. She was positively joyful. Satisfied with the fact that Sadie was happy, Parker glanced at Tessa. The look on her face gave no evidence of any one emotion, but several spilled onto her beautiful face. He was quite proud of himself. "I'll go call Dad and the boys, dinner should be just about ready; Jessie's been working all afternoon. While I'm out there, I'll gather the gifts. Should I place them in here, or in the parlor?"

  His mother spun on her heel and looked at him with a twinkle in her eye, "I think the parlor would suit quite nicely, we'll take our dessert in there when we're finished with dinner. Sadie can open her gifts then."

  "Presents?" Sadie questioned, utter amazement brushing over her features.

  "Of course dear, what would a birthday be without gifts?" Mrs. Sullivan asked, as if there was nothing unusual about there being gifts for their charge.

  "I made one!" Emma squealed, jumping in excitement.

  "I haven't gotten a present since Mama died," she said quietly, looking at Tessa in uncertainty.

  The look on Tessa's face told Parker that she didn't know what to say. In truth, she was just as surprised as Sadie. Deciding to speak for her in her silence, Parker gained Sadie's attention again. "Well today will have to make up for that," Parker commented, taking leave of the room.

  He only managed to reach the staircase when he heard the labored clack of Tessa's shoes, cast, and crutch. "Parker, I would have a word with you, please," she said quietly.

  "Do you like the dining room?" he asked, innocently.

  "It's lovely, but that's not what I wished to speak to you about," she said quickly, not letting herself get off track. "Parker, what did you mean when you said there were presents. She only has the locket to open, and the pictures that Lucas and Emma drew for her, right?"

  "Yes, and the gifts from my family," he answered simply, gathering the few wrapped boxes that rested in the foyer.

  "What gifts from your family? Parker, you helped pay for the locket! And your mother paid for the movies this afternoon. Sadie doesn't need so much, she would have been perfectly fine with the locket, and now we are indebted to you and your family even further. I thought you understood," she said with a frustrated sigh.

  Parker could tell that she was annoyed, and that she felt guilty. "I assure you, we did not spend a great amount on her gifts. Everyone has something small for her. What I did understand from our conversation is that Sadie has not had the fortune to enjoy her childhood like we did. I also understood that your parents made your own thirteenth birthday a very special day for you, and I wanted Sadie to have that as well. Please don't be angry with me, or my mother, you owe no debt to our family."

  "Parker, how can you say that? With all you've done for me, and the kids, and Sadie. We owe you a debt, a very large one the way I see it."

  Parker took a step forward and looked into Tessa's eyes; the emotions they betrayed were grief and confusion. "Tess, I know that you've experienced three years of having to provide for you and your family, alone with little to work with. I also know that trusting others has not always ended well for you. Please believe me when I say that my family wants nothing in return for all you say we've done. God has charged us with brotherly kindness, and treating others as we would want to be treated. We've done nothing in hopes that you would pay us back, or do something in return. Lizzy loves having Sadie here, my mother would be heartbroken if Emma left, Dillon and Ben have found a new friend in Lucas, and let me not leave out how important you've become to Julia."

  Tessa stared at him and he could see the struggle that was going on inside of her. He could also see that she believed every word he said, which was a relief. "I really do appreciate everything your family has done, and we love staying with you, I'm sorry for overreacting. I'm just not really sure what to do while I'm here. It would be wonderful if you or your mother could find something for me to do to help your family while we're here."

  Parker didn't like the way her last sentence sounded "While we're here," he repeated to himself as he looked at her. She offered a brief smile, then turned to rejoin the party in the dining room. As she hobbled away, Parker grew fearful for the first time since her attack, "She wants to leave," he thought. He knew that he couldn't let her do that, but what power did he have over her. He wasn't her husband, or brother, or father, "Why should she listen to me?"

  Chapter 21

  Two days had passed since Sadie's party and Tessa still couldn't shake the feelings she had about what had happened. Part of her loved that Sadie had gotten so many gifts. It had truly been a joyful day. She loved the locket, her books, and the drawing paper and pencils. Everything had been carefully chosen specifically for Sadie, and she had enjoyed all of the attention. Tessa didn't want to take any of that away from her sister, which is why she remained silent despite the turmoil churning inside her.

  It frustrated her that she could not pay them back for their kindness. Her life for the past three years dictated the fact that every kindness needed to be repaid in some form. She had learned that lesson in an extreme way where Jerry Poteck was concerned. Her innocence and naivety had caused her to take for granted all the little things he did for her family. Deep inside Tessa knew that the Sullivan's would never ask for anything in return for their kindness, but her trouble with Jerry had left her wary of accepting help.

  "Oh, Mama, I wish you were here," Tessa sighed. "I can't talk to anyone, they all think we belong here. Julia has become a good friend, and so has Parker, but I can't exactly address my concerns to them. I don't want to burden Sadie either; I know she loves it here."

  "Burden me with what?" Sadie asked, causing Tessa to whirl around on her bed.

  "Sadie, how long have you been standing there?"

  "Just a minute, I came to see if I could help you with your hair or something," she opened the door fully and entered.

  "That would be very nice, I'm sure this mess of curls could use a well placed bobby pin or two."

  Sadie sat beside her sister, and began running her fingers through Tessa's thick curls. "What don't you want to burden me with?" Sadie persisted.

  "Nothing love, don't worry about it."

  Sadie dropped Tessa's hair, and bounced to the edge of the bed. She stared at Tessa, an intense pout on her face. As Tessa turned to look at her sister, she couldn't help but notice how much she looked like her father. "I know I'm only thirteen years old," Sadie started, "but I am your sister. So, whatever is bothering you, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone else, I promise."

  "It's not that simple, Sadie."

  "Yes it is," Sadie insisted, "you're having a problem, I'm your sister, just tell me about it."

  "I don't want you to be worried."

  "What would I have to worry about? Mama's dead, Daddy lost his job, our house and his life, we lived in a shanty for three years, you were attacked, and for the first time since we left home, I'm not afraid that we won't have enough for dinner. What could be worse than all that?"

  "I don't know t
hat it's worse," Tessa began, "I just don' think you'll like what I've been thinking."

  "You can tell me, whatever it is you can tell me." Sadie's voice softened as she continued, "Tess, I know you've kept a lot inside the past three years. I know why you did too, and I'm thankful that you tried to keep me out of some things. Since we've moved in here, I've been watching Lizzy and Julia. We're not like them."

  "What do you mean?" Tessa asked curiously.

  "I mean, Lizzy and Julia talk. Lizzy tells Julia about the boys at school, or a dress pattern she sees in a magazine, and Julia tells stories about going to her Aunt Olivia's. We don't do anything like that."

  Tessa felt tears in the back of her throat, ready to escape. She loved her brother and sisters more than words could say, but now she realized what she had kept from Sadie for so many years. "Sadie, you know I love you, right?"

  Sadie threw her arms around Tessa, "Of course I know that! How could I ever doubt that after everything you've done for me and Lucas and Emma?" She pulled back and looked at her sister in the eye. "I just mean that I want to be a sister to you, not a daughter, so whatever you're thinking, I want to hear it."

  "When did you get so grown up?" Tessa asked, brushing a hand down Sadie's face.

  Her sister scrunched up her face, "Um, I think two days ago."

  Tessa laughed and Sadie joined her, of course the laughter wasn't enough to sway Sadie from her mission. When they settled, Sadie insisted that Tessa explain her feelings and despite still having reservations about telling Sadie, Tessa obliged.

  "I don't know how we'll ever be able to pay the Sullivan's back for their kindness. They have done so much since we've come, especially that birthday celebration they gave you. We have nothing."

  Sadie looked genuinely confused, "Tess, they don't want anything back."

  "They say that, but how can we not repay them? Are we not eating their food, drinking their milk, using their water for baths and laundry? They are paying for us to live here, and we have done nothing. I sit around all day with this leg, Emma is no more than a toddler, Lucas is far too involved playing with the boys every waking moment, and you and Lizzy sit around in a fit of giggles most of the time."

  "Mrs. Sullivan says it does her heart good to see us smiling," Sadie said softly.

  "I know that's what she says, and I'm sure it does, but their savings must be feeling the effects of our stay."

  Sadie looked sad, her eyes spoke of the misery Tessa had seen in them for the three years they spent in the shanty. Thinking of going back made her own heart ache. It felt wonderful to be cared for again, watched over. And then there were the comforts of this home that couldn't be denied. Her family was clean, happy and comfortable. It seemed for the first time in three years a dark cloud wasn't looming over their heads. "This is why I didn't want to say anything."

  "I understand that, but I'm glad you did. I hate to think that you don't have anyone to talk to."

  "I have people to talk to, love, you don't have to worry about me."

  Sadie suddenly got excited, "You could marry Dr. Parker!"

  Tessa's jaw dropped at the exclamation, "What?"

  "You could marry Dr. Parker!"

  "Why would you say that, Sadie?"

  "Well, he's handsome, he's your age, he's not married, and he's very nice! Isn't that why people get married?"

  "You're missing something very important, Sadie, love. And even if I did love Dr. Parker, I doubt he would want to marry me."

  "Why?" Sadie asked. "You're beautiful, and funny, and smart, and loving, every man should want to marry you!"

  Tessa laughed, planting a kiss on her sister's forehead. "Sadie, first of all, I am most certain that I am not what every man wants. To most men, money is a very big deciding factor, and in case you've forgotten, I don't have any."

  "Not Dr. Parker! Dr. Parker doesn't care about things like that."

  Tessa sat thoughtfully, chewing on her bottom lip, "No, I suppose you're right, he wouldn't care about something like that. But I also must suggest that I am not the same as most brides. Men are interested in marrying a woman, in sweeping them away from their families and finding a little house all their own where they can build a family. I am not that kind of woman. Any man who marries me, also marries you and Lucas and Emma, and for most, that is not a responsibility they desire so early in their marriage."

  "If you think that about Dr. Parker, you don't know him very well," Sadie said simply.

  "I know that Dr. Parker would marry any woman he truly loved, that is not what I'm saying at all."

  "Then what are you saying?"

  "I guess I'm saying that I don't know that I could ask a man I loved to take on such a responsibility." Tessa was shocked by her own admission, but knew it to be the truth. Since the day her father died, she hadn't really thought much of marriage, because she didn't believe it to be a possibility. With the added responsibility of Sadie, Lucas and Emma, she knew she could never marry as she once dreamed. Left with no money and three dependents would be a hard way to start any marriage. It was something she could never ask a man to do for her, so she simply wouldn't let her heart get involved.

  "I hope that's not true," Sadie whispered.

  "Why?"

  "Because I wanted to be your maid of honor."

  Tessa giggled and pulled her sister in for another squeeze. It had been so long since they had talked like sisters. Tessa remembered always treating Sadie as if she was one of her own children, keeping things from her. Right before Mama died, Tessa remembered telling Sadie all about Lou Jenner, detailing everything she loved about him and Sadie had hung on her every word. Though she was only ten years old, she had seemed to understand, and likened their relationship to something out of a fairy tale. Sadie had almost been more disappointed than Tessa when she discovered that Lou Jenner wouldn't be coming to visit anymore. Since then, Tessa had treated Sadie like a child. Tessa realized now that Sadie needed a sister just as much as she needed a mother, and from now on, she would try to be both.

  Chapter 22

  Tessa was busy with more of Parker's office work. Today she was organizing a large crate of medical supplies. It seemed that Parker used an article from his crate and threw it back inside without bothering to straighten it out first. She didn't mind the rolling and refilling, but his disorganization made her laugh.

  It was while she was rolling gauze that Julia slid into the parlor. "Tess, you have to help me!"

  Tessa turned, expecting to see blood pouring from someone due to the intensity with which Julia spoke. When she found Julia pacing in a panic, she relaxed. "What's the matter?"

  "He's coming!"

  "Who is coming?" Tessa asked, genuinely confused.

  "Keith! Well, not just Keith, the whole family! Aunt Olivia and Uncle Quinn are bringing their entire household for a picnic! My mother thought it would be a good idea to have one. With autumn on its way she doesn't think we'll be able to have another one until next summer. She does this every year and she never bothers to warn me!"

  Tessa sat silently for a moment, trying to interpret the sporadic, fast words of her friend. "So, what do you need my help with?"

  Julia let out an exasperated sigh and flung herself onto the couch. It reminded Tessa of something Sadie used to do when they were younger and she didn't get her way. "Keith! You saw what I was like around him. Please, Tessa, I just need you to help me. I like him so much, but I get so awkward and quiet whenever he's around."

  Tessa laughed, getting out of her chair and moving toward the sofa where Julia was now flopped. "Julia, you don't just go quiet, you go mute. It's as if you don't remember how to speak at all."

  "I just get so nervous around him!"

  "Believe me, I know exactly what you're talking about," Tessa laughed, enjoying Julia's nerves.

  Now it was Julia's turn to laugh, "You can't be serious! You're always so calm and composed. Even after you were attacked, I never heard a fluttered word from you."

  "T
hat's because you weren't there when it happened. I still think about it, sometimes at night, the image of Jerry over me terrifies me." Tessa shuddered, shaking her head to forget the memory that haunted so frequently. "But, never mind that. What I wanted to say was that I wasn't composed when Lou Jenner came to call!" Tessa said, her voice raising with the end of her sentence, hoping to draw Julia in with her dramatic effect.

  Julia bounced up on her knees and watched Tessa expectantly, "Well let me hear about him!"

  She could remember the emotions that used to bubble inside of her when Lou came to call. A giddy feeling that arose every time she caught sight of Lou's neatly combed hair, or childlike smile. Somehow, she felt as if no time at all had passed since her quick romance with her neighbor. "I was twenty-two, and he lived nearby. I saw him often as we grew up, and always liked him. But one summer, it just seemed to blossom into something more. He could make me giggle faster than any other person on the planet. I know it sounds ridiculous, but everything he said, I found funny, even if it was just about the weather. Now I find such women completely irritating, but I admit, I was one."

  "What happened?" Julia asked, hanging on every word.

  "I thought we would be married, in fact, I was sure of it. He told me while holding my hands and looking me straight in the eyes that he wanted to speak with my father. I took that to be a sure sign of his intentions."

  "Did he ever propose?"

  "No," Tessa admitted. It surprised her how easy it was to remember the sting of that disappointment.

  "Why ever not?" Julia asked in shock.

  "That was right before the stock market crash in 1929. My father lost everything. All of his savings, his job, my mother, the house and eventually himself. Lou's family heard about everything, he wasn't even around when my mother died." Tessa felt a hot tear trickle down her cheek. With a fierce sniff she forced a smile, "I never did find out if it was his decision or his fathers to detach himself from me. After we lost our house, I never saw him again."