Skin Deep

by Trista Jaszczak

  “I…” He voice trails and he clears his throat. “I just got off work. Cas and I closed.”

  “I know, I make the schedules.”

  He reaches around, grabbing the back of his neck. “I wanted to check in on you. See how you’re doing.”

  “I’m okay, you?” He looks down at me and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I’m sorry, do you want to come in?”

  He gives me a little nod, steps in past me and looks around. “Nice place you have here.”

  “Thanks. I like it. It’s quiet and safe. Away from Over the Rhine, you know?” I reply closing and locking my front door behind us. I click on a lamp next to the couch and motion for him to have a seat. “Is everything okay?”

  “I…well…” his voice slips off again as he places his elbows on his knees. “I wanted to talk to you…about the other night…you know.”

  “Oh…” I slump into a seat at the other end of the couch, letting my shoulders drop. “That…yeah…what about it?” Here we go. You know, I swear I knew this was going to happen, but when it comes down to it, nothing really prepares you for it. It’s like being dumped. All the times I’ve ever been dumped by some guy I knew that it was coming. It wasn’t like I planned forever with him, but at the same time, nothing prepares you for that moment.

  “Let’s just sit and talk.” He says reaching and placing a hand on my knee. “We’re both adults.”

  I give him a little nod. “Then what about that night do we need to talk about?”

  He scoots forward and runs a hand over his face. “I love my job, Lola. I fucking love it. Your shop is amazing. You know…you appreciate my work and people are already asking for me… me! And by name no less.”

  “Which is a good thing.”

  “It’s fucking great. But…Lola…I lost control. You’re my boss. I shouldn’t have…I should never have let it happen…” His voice trails off again as he looks down at my hardwood floor. Better than telling me that to my face, I guess.

  I purse my lips and exhale. “Yeah…I’m your boss. I acted unprofessionally and I just…” I look down and shake my head.

  He moves closer to me, lifting my chin with his fingers to make me look at him. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. I crossed a line that never should have been crossed. This is all my fault.”

  “It’s fine…it’s just…” I take a deep breath to clear my head for a moment. “It’s fine, really.” I fake quite possibly the worst smile of my life. “Can I get you anything?”

  He shoots me a confused look but finally nods. “Sure, why not. How about just some water?”

  I stand quickly, feeling myself choke up. I need to get away from him even if it is for just a second. “Tap or bottled?”

  “Tap wat -” He stops dead in his tracks, standing as he reaches for my hand. He lifts my chin with two of his fingers again. “Please don’t cry, baby. You don’t want to get screwed up with someone like me. I’m too sinister. You don’t want to be wrapped up in the shit I have going on.”

  I pull away. “I’m not crying. I’ve just heard all of this before. Never this quick but I have heard it. Look, just let me get your water.” I say, stepping past him and into my kitchen. I grab a glass from the cabinet, fill it with ice from the fridge door, and water from the same dispenser. I return to the living room and shove the cold glass into his hand.

  “Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  He takes a sip and stares at me for a moment. I can’t stand his eyes right now. Or his good looks. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind dumping the water on his head. I’m bitter. I shouldn’t be, but I am. Everything felt so damn good with him and I felt something inside me ignite that I thought had burned out a long time ago. But here we are…River tossing water on my little fire.

  “And…” He lets his voice trail again.

  “And what?” I snap back at him.

  He releases a hard sigh. “I am too fucked up and you are too damned perfect for me.”

  “It’s okay, really. I thoroughly understand. I’ve heard it before. Let her down gently, right?” I say, crossing my arms. I let out a brief sigh and look up at him. “For what it’s worth, you were amazing.”

  He sets his water glass on my coffee table. “That is not what I am trying to do. Look…I’m attempting to save you. I’m not the type of guy that you need.”

  I push the hair from my eyes and shake my head. “Look it’s fine, really. At this point in my life, I’ve heard it all. You don’t have to sugar coat anything for me.”

  He releases a growl from under his breath. “That’s not,” his tone sharpens suddenly, “that is not what I am trying to do Lola! Sit down and listen to me. It’s not you, it really is me.”

  I jump back startled, turn and slowly sink onto my couch. “I’m sorry.”

  “Please don’t make that face.” He pulls my chin up to look at him. “I’m a monster. Not like some made up boogeyman. The real deal and I just…I can’t…” he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes in one of those extra long blinks and I can tell he’s trying to keep calm, “I don’t want to hurt or scare you.”

  “I just don’t know what I expected.”

  “Well, I’ve been thinking about what I should do for days.” He admits. “I was just going to forget about it, pretend that it never happened, but…” he trails, having a seat next to me.

  “But what?”

  “But in the end I couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t felt all of you…it was…I just couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t been inside of you and felt your incredible body with mine. You are just so fucking gorgeous it hurts to look at you.”

  I feel the heat rush to my cheeks. Excellent timing. He’s not allowed to make me blush. “So, what do we do?”

  He shakes his head. “I won’t drag you into my hell.”

  “So, I guess that’s that.”

  “Lola, I’m a monster. You would look at me like I’m a monster. And I couldn’t live with you looking at me like that baby-” he stops dead in his words. “I mean…Lola.” He corrects himself. Guess when you dump someone, cute little names go with it too.

  “It’s fine, really it is,” I say looking down again.

  “No, you are better than “fine”. You are beautiful, smart, and successful. I’m just me and I can’t bring you down that road.”

  I stand up and begin pacing the floor as I shake my head. “Why do you think so little of yourself?”

  “Because I know who I am and the things I’ve done. I can’t put you through that.” He explains.

  I stop pacing long enough to look into his eyes. “River, it was incredible. You were amazing. It was…really…great.”

  He stands slowly and steps in front of me. “You were incredible. So fucking beautiful.” He runs a hand through my hair and cups the back of my neck, pulling me into him, letting our lips nearly touch. He breathes heavily onto my lips.

  I feel my heart jump as I catch my breath. “I really wish I could have gotten a chance.”

  He leans in, urgently pressing his lips to mine.

  I pull away confused, forcing myself not to kiss him again. “But…you just said…”

  “You're too sweet for me.” I feel his fingertips travel up the side of my thigh and move around to the curve of my ass where he gives it a playful slap and a squeeze. “And I can’t keep my fucking hands off you.”

  He presses his lips to mine, his tongue sliding slowly into my mouth as he picks me up. He breaks away and smirks. “Bedroom?”

  “Upstairs, first door on the left.” I breathe out.

  He takes long strides up the stairs, rushing into my bedroom and kicking the door shut behind us. He tosses me onto the bed, tearing at my clothes as he kisses me, his warm tongue rubbing against mine as I give in, to him again. He throws my clothes to the other side of the room as he kicks back on his knees and yanks his shirt off, tossing it blindly. His perfectly sculpted, tattooed body is so magnificent, I can hardly wait to have hi
m deep inside my pussy again. I bite my lip and bring a fingertip up to trace one of the lines of his tattoos. His eyes roll back into his head for a moment. “Turnover for me.” He orders, grabbing my hip. “On your knees for me baby.”

  I turn over quickly, getting on all fours, pushing my ass towards him. He wraps an arm around my belly and pulls me up, putting my back to his chest. “So fucking beautiful…” He growls, shoving my hair to the side as he bites down on my ear lobe. I let out a sudden squeak followed by a low moan, as I lean back into him while his hands knead my breasts and his fingertips pinch my nipples hard making me moan louder.

  “Oh God…please don’t stop.” I whimper lying my hands on top of his.

  He pushes my face down as he pops the fly of his jeans and strips himself quickly. He rubs my ass before smacking it and releasing another growl. “Definitely not, baby.”

  He begins teasing the entrance of my pussy with the head of his cock. I push against him, begging for him to fuck me. My already dripping wet cunt is ready for him as he shoves his rock hard dick deep inside of me until he’s fully enveloped by my slick heat. He slips one of his fingers into my mouth, wetting it as he thrusts deeply into me. Once his finger is wet enough, he slides it between my folds, quickly finding my clit, flicking, circling and rubbing the swollen nub as he pounds my tight little pussy.

  I begin pushing my hips against him, meeting each of his hard thrusts. “Oh, God…Riv…er…right…” I let out a scream. “THERE!”

  He lets out another growl. “Fucking God…you’re so…tight…” He pants. “Keep doing that…push back into me, baby.”

  I feel my body shudder. I can’t contain my own orgasm. I balance myself on one hand and grab at my breasts, alternating between squeezing them and pinching hard on my nipples. River pushes his hard cock deep into me, his finger still working feverishly on my aching clit.

  “Oh, baby…come for me…come now.” His deep voice commands right in my ear.

  I scream, my orgasm hitting me hard, my juices soak his cock and drip down our legs. My entire body begins to shake as I'm reduced to a quivering puddle of goo while River works his throbbing cock deeper into my pussy. His breathing becomes heavier, he thrusts into me harder and faster as he lets out another deep growl. He pulls out of me quickly and within a few moments, I feel his hot seed being released all over my lower back, in warm, gooey spurts. I fully collapse on my bed, resting my head on the mattress.

  I feel River push my hair away. “That’s a good girl. Slow breaths. Relax.”

  I close my eyes and take a few breaths. I did it again. I did it all over again. We fucked. Again. Now I have to deal with his exit speech a second time. Honestly, how fucking stupid can I be?

  “Stay right there baby, just breathe. Don’t move.” He tells me, as he gets up from the bed and pads quietly into my bathroom. I hear the water running in the sink for a bit and River returns with a warm washcloth, wiping my lower back clean. “That’s a good girl. Just relax, baby.” He tosses the warm, wet towel in my hamper and adjusts me onto my side as he pets my hair, pushing it from my eyes. He lays behind me, pulling me into his arms as our breathing returns to normal. “Lola, I have to tell you something.”

  Great. Here it comes. I didn’t think he would do it this fucking fast. “If it’s what you said downstairs…please…don’t…”

  “No, baby,” he talks into my hair. “It’s not that.” He slowly turns me to face him. “I wasn’t even going to tell you, I was just going to keep it hidden. But I can’t stay the fuck away from you.”

  “Are you bi?”

  He laughs and shakes his head.

  “Do you have a girlfriend?”

  He shakes his head again. “No baby, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

  I let out a sigh of relief. At least I’m not some homewrecker. “Then, what?”

  “Lola, I’m a Dominant.”

  I pull from his arms and flip around to sort of gawk at him, utterly confused. “A…what? What the hell does that mean?”

  “A Dominant…err…a Dom…BDSM. I have submissives.”

  “Like…slaves?” I question, staring at him with a mixture of disbelief and confusion

  “No, not slaves. Slaves are different. I have subs…submissives. Well, I don’t currently have one.” He explains to me.

  “What’s the difference?” I ask carefully, trying to wrap my head around this concept while images of women bound and gagged, being cracked with a switch flash through my mind.

  “Slaves don’t have much of a mind of their own. Subs get choices. They can be themselves.” He tells me, petting my hair. “I’m just in control. I need, control. It’s a part of me, it’s something that I need in my life.”

  I stare at him unable to speak.

  “I told you that you were too sweet for me.” He begins pulling away from me, slipping out of my bed.

  “Wait,” I say pulling him back a little, “so…you,” I stop and try to think. I’d heard of BDSM, but I’m no expert. And I’ve certainly never met a Dominant before. Let alone had sex with one. I reach for his shoulder. “… you like to control and spank your girlfriends?” I bite my tongue. That came out all wrong.

  “I’m just too fucked up…You’re too good for me to taint with my demons.” He completely avoids my question as he begins trying to get up.

  I grip his shoulder harder, stopping him just as he’s faced away from me. “Why do you keep trying to walk away from me?”

  He turns to look at me over his shoulder. “Because I don’t want to fuck you up or scare you.”

  “I'm just trying to figure out why you would give me the best orgasms of my life and then just walk away,” I admit, climbing up on my knees, moving closer to him. “River.”

  He looks over his shoulder at me again, “Yeah?”

  “Please don’t just walk away,” I pout. I honestly can’t stand the thought of another exit speech over this. It can’t be all that bad. So he likes control. Surely we can work with this.

  “You…you’re not scared?” He asks.

  I shake my head as I inch towards him. “Well…no. You’re still River, right?”

  He nods.

  I press my breasts against his back as I reach around and place a hand on his chest. “You still feel like River.”

  He chuckles. “I’m still River. I’m just used to women running away when I tell them I’m a Dom. It’s…it can be scary. People aren’t always clear about what I am and do.”

  “I don’t have all the answers,” I admit. “But I don’t want you to leave.”

  “You’re really not afraid of me?” He asks, turning around slowly.

  I shake my head. “No.”

  “You don’t want to run?”

  “The only place I want to run is under the blankets,” I tell him, “I’m freezing.”

  “Would you…want,” he motions back towards one of my pillows, “me to stay?”

  I smile and give him a little nod. “I don’t want you to leave me cold and alone.”

  He pushes my hair around and tucks it gently behind my ear and smiles. “The goose bumps suit you.”

  I blush a fiery red. “You know, I don’t know much about BDSM nor you being a Dominant for that matter.” I look down a moment. “So, I can either Google or you can explain all of this to me.”

  “Well, first I want you to get comfortable and under the blankets with me. It’s a lot to take in,” he says, pulling back my comforter. “We can sleep and when we wake up we can talk about things. Take it one step at a time.”

  I wiggle under the blankets and he lays behind me, pulling the blanket around us. He slides an arm under me and I quickly use it for a pillow. “So, when we…you know…did you…” I pause and think for a moment.

  What the hell do I call it? Did he BDSM me? No, that sounds just stupid.

  “Did you dominate me?”

  He laughs and rests his chin on the top of my head. “A little.”

  A little. Which parts? I make a
little face as he drops another arm around me. I yawn. “So, how does this all work? I mean, you like control, but do you control everything?” I yawn again.

  “Lola, right now I want you to rest your sleepy little head, okay? We will talk about this when we wake up. I can take you for a bite to eat and discuss things.”

  I give him a reluctant little nod and close my tired eyes.

  I feel him smile into my hair. “Good girl.”

  My sleepiness overcomes me before I can question his comment. I slip into a profound and comfortable sleep while using River for a pillow.

  When I wake up Lola’s head is on my chest and her arms are latched around me. She looks so comfortable I can hardly stand to move, but she's got to eat. I peek at my watch, it’s just after six in the morning. Plenty of time for me to hop in the shower and get her some breakfast ready. I slide out of bed, very slowly, letting her grab onto a pillow in my place. I’m half tempted to just stay in bed, but my own growling stomach tells me otherwise. I head to her bathroom and pull the door shut behind me. I feel sorry for snooping, but I’ll at least need soap, shampoo, and a towel. I lean against her whirlpool tub reading the products she has neatly lined up along the wall. Just bubble baths and bath oils though I do make a mental note of just how fun that will be. I open the tall, thin closet next to the sink. Jackpot. I pull out a fresh towel, shampoo, and body wash. I turn to her shower and open the glass door. Showers are a great way to clear the head. There’s a lot to think about at this point. Lola will need to be taught about the lifestyle. She has a lot to learn but seems willing enough. Things will need to go slow so I don’t scare her. It can be an intimidating lifestyle for anyone standing on the outside looking in, but I think she has the potential to be an incredible sub. If she likes what she learns, there will need to be substantial amounts of training. I shower quickly and dry off. I have no choice but to put on yesterday’s clothes, I'll just run to my house and change once Lola is up. When I cross her bedroom to grab my clothes she's still sleeping soundly, wrapped up in her blankets, holding onto the pillow I gave her. Makes me regret ever getting out of bed this early. Good thing Cas is opening the shop. That was Lola’s deal when she left early yesterday. At least she can sleep in some. She honestly needs it.