The First Time Mums' Club

by Lucie Wheeler

  After a minute, Zoe and the girls crept into the room looking sheepish.

  ‘Everything okay? Zoe asked.

  ‘Fine,’ Ellie replied, wiping her face quickly, gathering up a bag from the floor by the sofa and throwing the TV remote into it.

  ‘Look, if you want we can –’

  ‘Zoe, I’m not in the mood to talk, okay? Let’s just get packed and get the hell out of here. We can pick up a cake on the way home for Pippa’s birthday tomorrow.’ She grabbed a cushion with the other hand and marched into the hallway. ‘I’m taking this out to the car. Let’s get this shit hole packed up and get on the road in the next half hour. I don’t want to be here any more.’

  Chapter 25

  I’m going to be late tonight. Patrick didn’t show up today so have had to take on his workload. Will see you in the morning x

  Pippa stared at the text and felt the disappointment settle in her stomach like a lead balloon. That was the third time this week that Jason had had to work late. She typed back ‘okay’ and sent it. No kisses or anything. She wanted him to know that she wasn’t happy about this but then she immediately felt guilty. It wasn’t his fault.

  ‘Why the glum face?’ Zoe asked, passing her a cup of tea with some biscuits on the side.

  ‘It’s just Jason.’

  ‘What’s he done now?’

  ‘Nothing really. It’s not his fault; he just has to work late again tonight, that’s all.’ She shrugged it off. Now that she had opened up to Zoe, she felt able to make these comments to her.

  ‘Again? Didn’t he work late one evening at the beginning of the week?’ Zoe turned to the counter to pick up the tray of cupcakes and set them down on the middle of the table.

  ‘Yeah, Monday and Tuesday,’ she huffed. ‘And he forgot my birthday last week.’

  ‘And he’s working late again tonight?’

  Pippa shrugged. ‘I don’t know, there’s a guy at work who isn’t pulling his weight and keeps not showing up for work, so Jason and the others have to pick up the slack and get it done on top of their workload.’ She picked up her spoon and stirred the warm, light-brown liquid.

  ‘Well, that doesn’t seem fair. Can’t they just replace this guy – he sounds like a liability.’

  ‘You’re telling me. I suggested that for the millionth time the other week but Jason reckons it’s out of his hands, so what can I do?’ She sipped her tea, trying to ignore the disappointment settling in her stomach.

  ‘Well that’s rubbish. You can’t keep going on like this, Pip!’

  She held her hand up and dismissed the comment. ‘It’s fine. Like I said, what can I do? I thought he had something planned for my birthday because when I was at Ellie’s helping you guys to pack, he texted me saying he had a surprise. But then the next day he had to work late and when he finally got home he apologised, saying he forgot. He got me some chocolates the next day.’

  ‘Are you serious? That’s not on.’ Zoe looked angry.

  ‘It’s not like I expected anything extravagant, just, you know, him remembering.’ She took a deep breath before admitting, ‘Things have been getting worse at home.’

  ‘Really?’ Zoe sat down.

  Pippa shook her head. ‘I checked his phone a couple of weeks ago.’

  ‘And?’ She seemed shocked at this revelation.

  ‘He caught me; it was horrible. He made me feel so bad, but I couldn’t help but think something might be going on – he’s always working.’

  ‘What about when the baby comes, though, you’re going to need him to be around, not slogging his guts out at work because of some colleague not doing his job properly.’

  ‘I know that, Zoe!’ She immediately realised her overreaction to the comment. ‘Sorry, I’m just tired, that’s all.’

  Zoe placed her arm around her friend and squeezed. ‘Hey, it’s okay. It’s what I’m here for. Let’s have a nice afternoon here and you can have dinner at mine tonight; save you cooking.’

  ‘Sounds like a plan. What time is it?’

  Zoe looked at her watch. ‘Quarter to three. I’ll go get the rest of the cakes, everyone should be here soon.’

  Ten minutes later and Pippa was joined at her usual table with Ellie and Imogen and then, after doing her usual thing of greeting everyone personally, Zoe floated back over to their table. ‘How’s it going, ladies?’ Zoe asked, pulling up a chair.

  ‘Good thanks,’ Imogen said and then gestured to the rest of the room. ‘This mums’ club seems to be really taking off, hey?’

  ‘Do you know what? I’m so surprised. I wasn’t expecting such a big turnout. When I started it there were only a few ladies – the last couple of months we seem to have had an influx of people.’

  Pippa looked around the room. ‘I remember thinking that everyone around here was already a mum and I was finding it so hard to fall pregnant, but now, here we are with a café full of women who are yet to experience the wonders of parenthood.’

  ‘How amazing is that?’ Zoe held out her hands and the girls nodded in agreement. ‘Although I find it hard to believe that I am the only place offering a mums’ club around here,’ she continued as she refilled their teacups.

  ‘Maybe the other places are just mums’ club; it might be the fact that yours is a ‘first time’ mums’ club that is drawing them in. I know I feel much more comfortable here than I would in a meeting with people who had had children before.’ Pippa subconsciously placed a protective hand over her stomach as she spoke. Something she had found herself doing more often, ever since her bump became more protruding.

  ‘I second that,’ Imogen agreed. ‘I love the fact that no one here has experienced anything like this before, so when I feel like I have a stupid question, you can guarantee the other women have either thought about the question before or have the answer from finding out from others. But I feel like I can always ask.’

  ‘Like when Ellie asked if babies do anything else other than eat and poo!’ Zoe ducked as Ellie swiped her arm. ‘Alright, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Right, I think it’s question time, I’ll be back.’ Zoe added the last line in with her best Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.

  Pippa watched her best friend walk into the middle of the room and gain everyone’s attention by ringing a bell. ‘Okay, ladies, I hope you have all had a fantastic week since we last met. Now that we have the hellos out the way, it is time for this week’s topic.’ She pulled the bucket from under the counter and held it out to Pippa. ‘Here we go, Pip, your turn this week to choose.’

  She reached into the bucket and pulled out her question choice. She opened it up and read it out loud to the café. ‘Who has played a big part in your journey to falling pregnant and why?’

  The noise in the room immediately rose a few decibels as everyone began to start their stories. Zoe slipped back into her seat next to Pippa and said, ‘Okay, who is going to start this week?’

  ‘I take it we are looking for a deeper answer than ‘the father of the baby because he shagged me and without him I wouldn’t be pregnant’.?’

  ‘Ellie!’

  Pippa tried not to spit out her mouthful of tea as she snorted in response to Ellie’s comment. She loved how direct she was.

  ‘What?’ Ellie replied. ‘You asked who has played a big part – aside from the mums; I’m guessing dads have played a huge part. In some cases, maybe huge is the right word, too.’ She winked as the girls giggled.

  ‘I know what you meant, but this question is more than that. Why don’t you try to dig a little deeper?’

  Zoe looked frustratedly at her sister, so Pippa tried to relax the mood again.

  ‘I’m going to mix things up a bit by saying that Zoe has actually played a huge part in my journey, actually.’

  ‘Aw, Pip, that’s sweet.’

  ‘It’s true.’ She turned to the others. ‘I found it hard to fall pregnant. It wasn’t an easy job for me and it took a long time. Zoe was always the person I went to for advice, to make me laugh, for a
cuddle when yet another month went by and I still wasn’t pregnant.’

  ‘I know that feeling,’ Imogen agreed.

  ‘Did you get a lot of support from your family when you were going through IVF? I can’t imagine anyone having to go through it alone; it’s such a hard time.’ Pippa thought about how useless Jason had actually been during that time.

  ‘My family weren’t around much, but I had Alice. That’s all I needed.’

  Pippa noticed that Imogen kind of shut down the question, so didn’t probe any further.

  The rest of the meeting went by in a blur of laughter and tea – just what Pippa needed.

  *****

  The following evening, Alice got home fairly early for her, the clock ticking over to 6pm. ‘Hey beautiful, how was work?’

  Imogen hated that question at the moment. She hated lying to Alice, but she didn’t feel she had a choice. She was in too far and things would be too complicated to try and unravel now. She would have to tell her about the constant messages still coming in from her mum and it would just be too horrible and totally unnecessary. She could handle this. She plastered on a false smile and replied, ‘not bad’. If she kept her answers short, she wouldn’t have to cover one lie with another. She hated that her mum had made her into a liar. Never before had she lied to Alice and it felt awful.

  ‘I bet you’re glad you don’t work Wednesdays or Fridays at the moment?’ Alice set about making some dinner as she spoke.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Imogen felt nervous. Did she know? Why say something like that?

  ‘Well, you look really tired. I just meant that if you had to work full time and carry those babies, you’d be feeling even worse than you do now.’ Alice stopped what she was doing and looked over to her. ‘That’s all I meant. Are you sure you’re okay?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ Now would be the perfect opportunity to tell her. She would understand; it would be fine. She reassured herself constantly as Alice continued to make the tea, chatting about work. ‘Alice?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  Her phone beeped in her pocket and she took it out, recognising the number as her mum’s.

  ‘Never mind.’

  Alice looked confused. ‘Sure?’

  Imogen nodded and smiled. ‘I’m just going to jump in the bath before dinner. I won’t be long.’

  Chapter 26

  Pippa decided to walk into town today for the mums’ club. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the sky was clear, meaning it was uncharacte‌ristically warm for the last day in January and she just didn’t fancy sitting inside her van. She didn’t have any orders to take into the café, so there was no reason why she shouldn’t embrace the unusual warm weather and walk. As she strolled through the side streets that led to the café, she let her mind wander to how things were at home. The more time went on, the more she questioned why she was with Jason. He made her unhappy more times than he made her smile. But every time she came close to saying anything, she was reminded – sometimes by him – of how hard he worked to support Pippa and now the baby, ready for when it comes. She didn’t earn enough to make any sort of dent in the bills or mortgage, so he had had to work extra hard lately because there were things to buy for the baby as well as clothes – she was rapidly growing out of her own!

  But this morning, with every step she took, she became angrier and angrier at how much work Patrick was putting onto Jason. She was sure that the stress from that guy was having a knock-on effect, which resulted in Jason taking it out on Pippa. She wished he would just disappear.

  The walk didn’t actually take her that long, which took her by surprise and before she knew it she was at the duck pond, just a few steps away from Zoe’s café.

  ‘Pip!’

  She turned around to see Imogen walking towards her from the other side of the street. She waved in response and shouted, ‘Hey, you all right?’ The sun was hot on her face and she undid her coat to freshen up and try to calm the hot flush creeping over her.

  Imogen nodded as she approached. ‘Yeah not too bad. You walked in today?’

  ‘Yeah, thought I’d get some fresh air. I’m just going to call Jason; I’ll be in in a minute.’ She fished her phone out of her bag and pressed call on his name. She couldn’t help but think about their argument yesterday and in the time she had taken to walk into town, she had built up the courage to call the office and give them what for. It wasn’t fair that Jason had to pick up the slack all the time. Well, not any more. Jason might be too nice to say anything, but she was a highly hormonal woman and she was going to take advantage of that. She wasn’t taking any shit today.

  She waited for what felt like forever, when finally a female voice picked up. ‘Hello, Betty speaking, how can I help you?’ Betty? Jason said she had resigned. What was she still doing there? ‘Hello?’ the voice pulled her back into the moment.

  ‘Oh sorry, um, did you say that was Betty?’

  ‘Yes, how may I help you?’

  ‘I thought… um,’ she thought for a second and concluded, ‘I’m sorry, I think I must’ve got the wrong end of the stick. You see, I thought you had resigned.’

  Betty laughed, which in turn made Pippa a little uneasy. ‘No, no, I’m still here. May I help you with anything?’

  ‘Oh sorry, I should’ve said, it’s Pippa, Jason’s wife.’

  Another laugh from Betty, although this time it seemed a little nervous. Her tone changed slightly and she became more frantic in her speech. ‘Oh, sorry! I didn’t … um … realise it was you. Jason’s not here at the moment.’

  ‘It’s okay. I didn’t really call to speak to him. I wanted to speak with Mr Jacobs, actually, about Patrick.’ Her confidence began to wane; she was thrown off by Betty answering the phone.

  ‘Mr Jacobs isn’t here either, I’m afraid. Would you like to leave a message for him and I can ask him to call you back when he gets in?’

  Pippa started to realise how silly she must sound. Telling tales on another staff member. She stepped down from her mission feeling stupid. ‘No, it’s fine. Maybe it’s a good thing.’

  ‘Is there a problem with Patrick’s work that he did before? I only ask because we’ve had a few people complain about him.’

  ‘Really?’ Well, at least she wasn’t the only one thinking badly of this Patrick guy. ‘That’s interesting. But no, this is more to do with the work he isn’t doing right now.’

  A pause. ‘I’m sorry, you’ve lost me, Pippa.’

  ‘Patrick. He’s not pulling his weight. It’s not fair on Jason to have to take up the slack to cover for him. Just because he’s the boss’s son doesn’t mean he gets to freeload on everyone else.’ There, she’d said it. No turning back now.

  ‘I don’t understand, Pippa, Patrick isn’t here any more.’

  Pippa paused as she took in this information. ‘What? I don’t understand.’ She leaned against the railings that surrounded the duck pond, involuntarily shuddering as her hand touched the hard metal bars. None of this made sense.

  ‘Patrick, he resigned months ago. He doesn’t even work here any more.’

  Chapter 27

  Ellie, Zoe and Imogen all looked at each other and then back at Pippa as she calmed herself down. Zoe was the first to speak. ‘How are you feeling now?’

  Pippa didn’t speak, but instead took another sip of her water and exhaled. She couldn’t find the words at the moment. Her mind was awash with a million questions making her feel dizzy and unsteady. She could feel the heat coursing through her veins as her face flushed with frustration.

  ‘You aren’t going to faint are you? You still look really pale.’ Ellie was over the far side of the table but still looked as if she wanted to move further away just in case Pippa keeled over.

  Pippa shook her head and put the water down. She looked up at her friends. ‘Hear me out okay? And tell me what you think? I’m worried that I am going stir-crazy with pregnancy hormones and I need you all to tell me I am being stupid and that I need to chill t
he fuck out, because, quite frankly, I’m freaking out!’ Pippa steadied her breathing; she couldn’t believe she was crumbling like this in front of other people. She hated the fact that she was slowly but surely losing the control that she had of what people saw. More and more, as this pregnancy progressed, she was failing herself and letting her guard down and that alone was enough to make her want to scream. She was losing control and she didn’t like it.

  ‘Honey, calm down all right? We are here and we are listening.’ Zoe pushed another glass of water across the table which was followed by Ellie sliding over a packet of chocolate hobnobs.

  ‘It’s Jason.’ She clenched her teeth as she prepared herself for the ultimate revelation of trust in these girls.

  ‘Okay…’ They listened with intent.

  ‘I think he’s having an affair.’ Pippa’s voice quivered with emotion and she swallowed down the lump that was fast forming in the back of her throat. That’s it. Her perception of perfection shattered in six words.

  ‘Are you serious?’ Imogen gasped, looking as though she was about to be sick. ‘How can you be sure?’

  ‘I just called his office and Patrick doesn’t even work there any more.’ Her eyes wide in disbelief, she paused for the reaction from the girls.

  ‘Honey, who is Patrick?’ Imogen asked the question they all were thinking.

  Zoe stepped in as Pippa steadied her quivering chin. ‘For months now, Jason has said that this Patrick guy at his work wasn’t pulling his weight and so Jason had to pick up the slack. He’s been working late all the time and even some weekends. Blaming it all on Patrick.’

  ‘And I called up today to give the boss a piece of my mind because, you know, we have a baby on the way and I can’t have him working all these extra hours and not being at home with me and the baby.’ A small hiccup escaped her mouth as the words tumbled out. ‘But I called and Betty said that Patrick hasn’t worked there for months.’

  ‘Oh Pip.’ Imogen moved her chair closer.