Searching for Neverland

by Alexander, Monica

  “You learn over time,” I told her, and it was true.

  I knew nothing about kids before I took on Caleb and Savannah, and now I felt like a pro – most of the time. There were still a lot of days when I wanted to pull my hair out because Caleb was in a mood and didn’t want to do his homework or Savannah threw a tantrum for some reason or another, but in those instances, Josh was usually the one who could restore order. He was definitely the one they listened to the most, but they’d known him longer. I was getting there.

  Taryn sighed and sunk onto the couch.

  “You feel okay?”

  She shrugged, and I knew her frustrations weren’t from physical discomfort. Noah was back in the picture. She’d finally told him about the baby, and things between them were interesting to sum it up neatly. I didn’t envy her in the slightest.

  “Noah called again last night.”

  “Then maybe you need to give him a chance,” I suggested.

  She shrugged. “I’m not interested. He’s too self-involved.”

  “He wants to be a part of the baby’s life,” I reminded her, and that was a good thing.

  “And he will be but just not a part of mine.”

  “He wants that too now?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, he does.”

  I shook my head. My sister’s life was non-stop drama.

  Josh chose that moment to appear in the living room. “Your mom bought Van an American Girl doll,” he said, his eyes wide.

  I shook my head in annoyance. We should have coordinated. I knew there would be overlap. “Is it the same one we got her?”

  Josh looked perplexed. “Uh, I’m not sure.”

  I grinned at him. He was sort of clueless about the girl stuff. “Brown hair?”

  He shook his head. “No, blond.” Then he grinned again. “She named it Taylor.”

  I laughed out loud.

  “What’s so funny?” my mom asked as she came into the living room followed by my father, who was carrying Savannah and her new doll, and Trey, who had both Tanner and Caleb in headlocks under his arms. Both boys were fighting to break free, and Trey was having a good time messing around with them.

  I loved that my family had accepted Caleb and Savannah without question, and Josh’s mom had done the same. We had plans to see her the next day for dinner at her condo with Allison and Corey.

  Life was good. In fact it was better than expected. I realized that a lot of my trepidation about growing up and having a family had been just fear of the unknown and fear of losing myself. But now, with Josh and the kids, I didn’t feel any less like myself. I just drank less, slept around less, prioritized my time better and learned to cope with the stress that came with having kids. I didn’t think I’d be ready to add any more kids to the mix any time soon, but Josh and I were also still just boyfriend and girlfriend, so that option was safe in the distance where I planned to keep it for a while. We had our hands full with the two kids we had.

  “Next year we’re coordinating presents,” I told my mother, and she just shrugged.

  “If they get duplicates, we’ll sort it out after the holidays. And, since Savannah got to open one present, I think it’s only fair that the boys get to open one present too.”

  “Yeah!” Tanner and Caleb said in unison as Trey finally released them.

  They each ran over to the pile under the tree and grabbed the first present they saw.

  “Freeze,” my dad said, and they both stopped in the position they were in. “Put them down. We’ll hand you the present you can open.”

  “Aww, man. It’ll probably be socks,” Tanner grumbled.

  “Or underwear,” Caleb chimed in, and they both started giggling.

  Why little boys found things like underwear to be funny I’d never understand.

  “You’re getting a big lump of coal for your grade in math,” Josh told Caleb, as he put him in a headlock and rubbed his head with his knuckles.

  “I told you, Mrs. Banner doesn’t like me,” he grumbled, even though we all knew why he’d gotten a ‘C’ in math.

  The little girl he had a crush on sat next to him, and he stared at her instead of paying attention to what his teacher was saying. Caleb was excellent in math, but he had to learn the material first. But we’d remedy that the next semester even if I had to hire Corey tutor him.

  “Liz, what present do you have for Caleb?”

  My mother pranced over to the tree and selected two identical presents and handed one to Caleb and one to Tanner. They each tore into their present in two seconds flat.

  “A 3DS!” Tanner exclaimed. “Cool, thanks Mom.”

  Caleb was just staring at his identical present, wide-eyed. “You got me a DS?!” he asked, as he turned to look at my mother in awe.

  “Dammit, Mom,” I hissed under my breath, but she just turned to me and blew me a raspberry.

  “You can return the one you got for him, and he can buy some games.”

  Yeah, thanks for swiping our big, exciting present idea.

  Josh and I realized pretty quickly that Caleb and Savannah didn’t have much. They each had a few second-hand toys and clothes, so they were grateful to get anything new, but we both knew how much Caleb had wanted a Nintendo DS.

  “Yes, I did, sweetie,” my mother confirmed. “Now you and Tanner can sync up and play against each other or something like that. I don’t really know how it works.”

  I rolled my eyes at her, but in a playful way.

  “Thank you,” Caleb said, looking at his new game system in awe.

  “You’re welcome,” my mom told him. “Now give me a hug, and then you boys can go battle it out until we eat dinner.”

  “Hold up a second, guys,” Josh called out as the boys started to leave the room. “I want Taylor to open a present first.”

  “Oh, okay,” Caleb said, grinning widely, as if he was in on a secret.

  I looked at him in confusion as Josh rifled under the tree looking for something, and everyone stood around watching him dig.

  “Is this it,” my father asked, pointing at a small gift nestled in the branches of the tree. “Here, Tay.”

  I took the present from his hands and started to unwrap it. My heart started to pound about halfway through when I realized I was opening a ring box. I’d been waiting for Josh to propose, but I hadn’t expected it at Christmas, with my entire family around.

  But when I opened the black velvet box, it was empty. I looked up at Josh in confusion and found him down on one knee holding a diamond ring out in front of him and smirking at me.

  “Oh, my God!” I gasped, my hands instantly covering my mouth as my eyes went wide.

  “Taylor,” Josh said, his voice shaking just a touch, “I’ve loved you since the first time I kissed you – and yes, I’m talking about when we were in high school and the kiss was sloppy and I only kissed you because I was dared to do it.”

  I laughed. “Best kiss of my life.”

  “Now you’re just lying, but I think I’ve redeemed myself since then.” I nodded. “And I know this year and our relationship have been . . . unconventional and crazy and amazing, and with everything we’ve been through, I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else there with me. And because of that, and who you are, and how much I love you, I don’t want to share my life with anyone else. So, will you marry me?”

  He squinted up at me, waiting for my answer, as if I would have said anything but yes, but the words were stuck in my throat as my eyes welled up with tears.

  He raised an eyebrow at me, and I watched the corner of his mouth pull up in a questioning smile. And I couldn’t keep him in suspense any longer.

  “Yes!” I finally cried out, and all around me cheers went up as I let Josh slip the ring on my eager finger. Then he stood up, and I threw my arms around his neck. “I love you, Josh Nolan, so much.”

  “Can I be your flower girl too?” Savannah asked then, and we all laughed.

  I pulled away from Josh and turned to face her. “Yes, ba
by, you can be our flower girl.”

  Josh turned to Caleb and smiled. “And Caleb is going to be my best man, because it would have been Jeremy, but if I can’t have my best friend next to me, I’ll take his kid who looks just like him who’s pretty cool in his own right.”

  Caleb beamed, and I knew they’d already discussed the semantics of the proposal and the best man situation. I just couldn’t believe he’d kept it a secret. I had to give the kid some credit for that one.

  “Can we get matching tattoos before the wedding?” Caleb asked, and we all laughed. “What? It’s what my dad would have done.”

  Josh looked at him in wonder. “That’s right. It’s exactly what your dad would have done, but no. When you turn eighteen, I’ll take you to get a tattoo if you want one.”

  “Awesome,” Caleb cheered.

  “Now, if you’ll all excuse us,” Josh said, addressing the collective group in the room. “I’m going to spend some alone time with my fiancé.”

  He drew me in close, as my mother ushered everyone out of the room. “No funny business with kids in the house,” she chastised us before she left, and I rolled my eyes.

  Josh smiled at me. “Funny business will be saved for later,” he said suggestively, and then changed his tone. “So, were you surprised?”

  I nodded. “I was. I never expected you to do it tonight, but I’m glad you did. I’m glad the kids got to see it.”

  “Caleb helped me plan it,” he said and shook his head. “Can you believe how much our lives have changed in six months?”

  “No, but you were right. It’s all good stuff, and this just makes it so much better,” I said, glancing down at my engagement ring.

  I was engaged!

  “I’m serious,” he insisted. “I couldn’t have done this without you – the bar, the kids, any of it. Thank you.”

  I looked up into his sparkling blue eyes, and as usual, his longish, light brown hair was swept across his forehead, partially covering his right eye. I smoothed it off his forehead and cupped his cheek in my hand.

  “Looking back, did you ever think this was how your year was going to end?”

  He smiled. “Aside from the kids, yeah, this was all part of my plan.”

  My jaw dropped, and he put his finger under my chin and tilted it up to close my mouth. Then he kissed me.

  “Like I said, I’ve been in love with you for a while. I just had to bide my time and wait for you to realize that you loved me too. Then I figured we’d get married and have some kids. We just went the unconventional route.”

  I looked at him in confusion. “But you always said you didn’t want kids. You wanted to sleep in and stay out late drinking and have lots of sex and not have any responsibility.”

  He shook his head. “I would have traded all of that to be with you, to have kids with you, because at the end of it all, you’re what makes my life good, not partying all the time and sleeping around. You and Caleb and Savannah have made my life perfect. I don’t need that other stuff. Although, if we could still have lots of sex, that would be great.”

  He grinned at me, and I smiled through the tears that had filled my eyes again.

  All this time I figured he’d been searching for Neverland, trying to find a ways to cling to his youth and not grow up, and I’d been doing the same. But in the end, we both realized that growing up wasn’t so bad, as long as you did it with the right person.

  About the Author

  Thanks so much for reading Searching for Neverland, my six full-length novel. I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it and developing the characters that helped bring the story to life. My other novels are also available in e-book format online

  Books have always had a big part in my life, and I probably spend way more time reading that I should, engrossed in the stories that keep me captivated. I am a total sucker for romantic comedies in all forms, because at the end of the day I just want to laugh and see some really great people fall in love. When those stories are mixed with an awesome soundtrack, it just doesn’t get much better than that.

  In addition to books, I have a serious love for the Florida Gators and the Boston Red Sox, I am addicted to fashion, and I never go anywhere without my iPod. Give me a grande non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks and chips and queso from Tijuana Flats, and I am a happy girl.

  You can read more about me online at: http://www.goodreads.com/monicaalexander

  Other Books by Monica Alexander

  Just Watch the Fireworks

  Aftershocks

  Broken Fairytales

  Buried Castles

  Forcing Gravity

  Playlist

  I listen to music constantly, so inevitably songs have a way of working themselves into my stories. Below is a playlist of the songs I hear when I read this book. Some songs I referenced in the book itself, and others are just ones that I felt fit in nicely with story. And if you’ve read the Broken Fairytales series, you know that Liar’s Edge is an amazing, yet fictional band. But since I referenced their songs in the book, I included them in the playlist. Enjoy!

  Carry On – Fun.

  Somewhere in Neverland – All Time Low

  Anthem for the Young at Heart – Amber Pacific

  45” – Gaslight Anthem

  SOS – Rihanna

  A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me” – Fall Out Boy

  The Reckless and the Brave – All Time Low

  Two Step – Dave Matthews Band

  The Mistake – AM Taxi

  22 – Taylor Swift

  I Knew You Were Trouble – Taylor Swift

  Chelsea Dagger – The Fratelli’s

  27 – Fall Out Boy

  The Space Between – DMB

  Caught Between – Thirsbusters

  Candle (Sick and Tired) – White Tie Affair

  You Don’t Know Your Beautiful – One Direction

  Blow Me (One Last Kiss) – P!nk

  Lay ‘Em Down – Needtobreathe

  Ho Hey – The Lumineers

  Heart Song – Paramore

  Gone, Gone, Gone – Phillip Phillips

  Bittersweet – Ellie Goulding

  It’s Midnight Cinderella – Garth Brooks

  Thief – Our Lady Peace

  Demons – Imagine Dragons

  Here’s to Us – Halestorm

  Unstable – Anberlin

  After the Storm – Mumford and Sons

  Jump – Liar’s Edge

  Without You – Liar’s Edge

  Normal Life – July for Kings