Off Your Rocker?

by K E Osborn

  “Urgh, you’re so frustrating,” I yell, standing abruptly from the table and slamming my napkin down on the plate. Colt stands with me and I scowl at my father.

  “Delia, darling, we only want what’s best for you,” Mum says.

  “How do you know that Colt isn’t what’s best for me?” I ask raising my eyebrows and resting my hand on my hip.

  “Well, your father thinks that Joseph—”

  “Fuck what Daddy thinks and fuck Joseph too,” I yell. Colt places his hand on my back.

  “That’s not very nice language, Lia,” I turn toward the garden entrance to see Joseph standing there with a bunch of roses.

  I throw my hands up in the air in frustration. “You’ve gotta be kidding me!” I scream while Colt pulls me to him and tucks me under his arm. The tears start to fall down my cheeks.

  “This whole thing was a setup, wasn’t it Daddy?”

  Joseph walks up the steps of the rotunda and moves over to my mother handing her the bunch of roses. I roll my eyes at him. I can feel Colt tense up beside me as Joseph walks past him all dressed up in his slacks, polo shirt and his sweater tied around his neck. God, what did I ever see in him? He looks so snobby it’s ridiculous.

  “Lia, my love,” Joseph says and goes to kiss me on the cheek. I back away and swat at his face trying to get him away from me.

  “Daddy, I’ll never forgive you for this,” I exclaim wiping the tears from my cheek. Colt takes my hand and I look at him, he looks hurt? Angry? Scared? I don’t know how he looks, but it’s not a look I like. “C’mon Colt, we’re leaving.” I shake my head at Joseph who actually looks a little bit regretful. I start to walk off with Colt in hand.

  “It was nice to meet you Mrs. Norman,” Colt calls out as we walk down the stairs and into the rose garden.

  “Don’t talk to her, Colt. She’s as much to blame as Daddy is for this charade,” I say loudly so they can hear me.

  “Nice music Ford, Classical Beethoven. Very up market,” I hear Joseph babble.

  “Yeah, not like the rubbish that he plays,” Daddy replies. I hear Colt grunt.

  “We can hear you, arseholes. Oh, and Joseph…”

  “Yes, my love?”

  “I’ll be coming over to pick up Princess Sophia,” I yell. Colt chuckles as we walk through the archway and back up the cobblestone path toward the manor.

  “Oh my God, Colt, I’m so sorry. I completely understand if you never want anything to do with me again.” I look at him fearing that he’ll actually tell me that he never wants to see me again.

  “It wasn’t that bad,” he replies with a smirk. I exhale and calm instantly.

  “Really?”

  He stops before the stairs to the manor and turns me to face him. “No, it was horrible and I honestly have never been so insulted in all my life, but they’re not going to make me leave you, Lia. Not now. Not ever. You got that?” He picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I scream and laugh at the same time while he chuckles walking up the stairs and inside the manor.

  “Colt what are you doing?” I ask through a fit of laughter.

  “Just being the typical guy from Croydon taking his groupie chick for a shag,” he answers as I hear a gasp. I look up to see George standing in the doorway with a tea tray watching as Colt manhandles me all the way out to the car. I can’t help but laugh hysterically.

  “Bye George, nice to meet you,” Colt says slapping me on the arse as we pass him.

  “Oh um, goodbye Mr. Slade. Miss Norman will you be returning?” George asks looking at me with a horrified expression written all over his face.

  “Bye George. No. Oh, and please tell Daddy from me that he’s a complete arsehole,” I call out as Colt walks us down the stairs of the manor. George smirks and nods as Colt cracks up laughing hysterically. He walks us to the car eventually putting my feet back to the ground in front of the car. He takes my face in his hands and forces me to look at him.

  “You know why I can’t say it, don’t you?”

  “Huh? Can’t say what?”

  “You know, how I feel. You know why I can’t say it, right?”

  I exhale and slump slightly. I thought that might have gotten to him. “Colt, I know Macy left you right after you told her you loved her. You’re scared I’m going to do the same thing. But Colt, I’m not Macy, I’m not going to leave you. But I’m also not going to force you to say something when I know that you feel it. You can say it, if and when you’re ready, and if you’re never ready, then I’m fine with that too. Just know that I know you love me. I know because of the way you hold me and the way you look at me, the way that you sing to me every time you sing, and the way you make love to me and need me as much as I need you. I know Colt. I know you love me, so don’t worry about anything my stupid arrogant father said back there. He’s an imbecile and—”

  “Did you just say imbecile?” he interrupts.

  I giggle and bite my bottom lip. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

  “Well, you Miss Norman, are beginning to sound a little snobby using big words, that people like me from Croydon can’t possibly understand,” he says with a giant smirk. I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck. He leans down kissing me forcefully pushing me back onto the bonnet of his car. I giggle as he leans into me completely.

  “Colt. What on earth will they think of you, if they see you kissing me on top of a car?” I ask talking very poshly.

  “Well I don’t know, but imagine what they’d think about this then,” he says lifting me onto the bonnet fully and kissing my neck while gyrating his hips like he’s dry humping me. I laugh as I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer. We’re now lying on the bonnet of the car with him on top of me, snogging like there’s no tomorrow. Eventually, we separate and Colt pulls me from the car and we get in, driving away from Norman Manor for, hopefully, the very last time.

  Hux has gone out for the night so Colt and I are taking full advantage of the free lounge suite. Colt’s sitting at the end and I’m laying down with my head in his lap while he plays gently with my hair. I can see why Hux is deeply in love with this lounge, I think I am too. It’s beyond comfortable and it’s so relaxing lying here listening to Colt hum along to all the songs in the movie that’s playing on the television.

  The front door opens and I hear girls laughing and Hux talking about some circus trick he can do.

  Whatever the hell that means?

  They walk, well, more like stumble into the lounge room and Colt tenses beneath me. Hux has an arm around two leggy blondes and they walk in looking at us. Hux looks down at my legs stretched out so I sit up next to Colt so they can sit down.

  The two blondes look at me like I’m worthless and the one who sits next to me nudges into me as she squeezes on the lounge between me and Hux. Colt rolls his eyes and wraps his hands around my hips. I give out a little squeal as he lifts me unexpectedly onto his lap giving blonde number one more room.

  “So, who are you and do you need to be here?” she says looking directly at me. My mouth drops open and I glare at her.

  “Hey, she’s practically my sister-in-law so if you want to be here then leave Lia alone. You got it?” Hux asks smiling at me.

  Wow!

  I always thought Hux hated me. So, why’s he being nice now?

  “Yeah, yeah I got it,” she says pulling a small zip lock bag from down her cleavage. Of course, it contains a white powder. Hux smiles and leans in kissing blonde number one and snatching the bag from her hand. She growls at him pretending to be a dog and then giggles, and I notice blonde number two’s hand is heading in a direction I do not want to see. I look at Colt whose eyes are glassy and his brows furrowed as he watches his brother. Hux leans over and pulls the coffee table toward him and he empties the powder onto its surface. I lean into Colt’s chest to feel him breathing quickly, his heart seems to be beating rapidly. He’s eyeing the powder and I see him swallow a lump in his throat. I bite my bottom lip. I’m pretty sure that that’
s a look of desire in Colt’s eyes. A look I don’t like at all. Hux sorts the powder into three lines and then looks at Colt.

  “C’mon bro. You know you want some?” Hux states. Colt’s hands grip my hips tighter.

  “Hux, c’mon, leave him alone,” I whisper as Colt looks at me and then back at the powder.

  “Well, don’t say I didn’t offer.” He leans down and snorts a line, then rises from the table and shakes his head from side to side quickly then wipes his nose. I look up at Colt and I can see he’s thinking hard. I can’t help but follow blonde number two’s hands as she starts to undo Hux’s zipper on his jeans. I look at Colt whose sole focus is on the powder. I turn back to look at blonde number two who now has her hand completely inside Hux’s pants while he’s snogging blonde number one. Okay this is a little too much for me.

  “I’m going to bed,” I state. Everyone looks across at me as I stand abruptly. I look down at Colt and he nods at me and stands up taking my hand.

  “You sure you don’t want to join the party?” Hux asks wiggling his eyebrows at us as blonde number one pulls his cock out of his pants and starts to jerk him off.

  Holy shit!

  I turn away as Colt huffs.

  “Jesus, Hux. You can’t even wait till we leave the room?” Colt takes my hand and pulls me toward the stairs. His vice-like grip on my hand is so tight that my hand is turning white.

  “Babe, you’re kinda squishing my hand,” I tell him as we walk up the stairs toward our room.

  He looks down and exhales loosening his grip. “Sorry.” He opens the door and slams it shut behind us. He lets go of my hand and walks over to the bed sitting on the edge resting his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands. I stand by the edge of the bed. I’m not sure if Colt’s angry about the drugs, about the blondes or about not being able to join in on the party downstairs, and that feeling makes me uneasy.

  “Lia, I need you,” he whispers still with his head in his hands. My heart shatters at the sound of the sadness in his tone. I walk over and sit next to him on the bed, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. He looks up and takes me in his arms and pulls me down on the bed with him. I look him in the eyes and I can see he’s struggling, but I have no idea how to make it better for him. Hell I don’t even know what the issue is that’s making him feel this vulnerable. He rolls on his side facing me and I do the same.

  “I don’t know why today’s so different,” he whispers as he closes his eyes.

  I’m confused as to what he’s talking about. “Colt, babe talk to me,” I reply bringing my hand up to caress his cheek. He nuzzles into my hand and his eyes open looking straight into mine.

  “I really want to go downstairs and join in on the party Lia, and it’s only the thought of hurting you that’s stopping me,” he says making me wince.

  Holy shit!

  Is he admitting that he wants to sleep with those trashy blonde birds down there?

  My eyes instantly fill with tears as feelings of inadequacy spread through my veins. I’m not enough for him. I always knew I wasn’t enough for him. Why the hell did I let myself think that maybe I could be? I turn on my back as my heart thuds in my chest. I exhale loudly and sit up on the edge of the bed.

  “Baby, say something,” he says. My tears start flowing fast down my cheeks. “Hey, why are you crying?” he asks rubbing my back trying to comfort me, but it’s not working. I’m stopping him from being who he wants to be... from who he really is.

  “I’ll never be enough for you, will I?” I say looking directly at him. His brows furrow and he shakes his head slightly as I think I see a look of confusion cross his face. “If you want those girls down there Colt then don’t let me stop you.” I stand from the bed and walk to the other side of the room to get away from him.

  He looks at me with his head tilted. “What are you on about? You think I want those sluts downstairs? God, no,” he replies standing up and walking over to me. I cross my arms across my chest, kind of holding myself in a way.

  “Is that what you thought I meant, by that?” he asks taking my cheeks in his hands forcing me to look at him.

  “Isn’t it?”

  “Fuck no, baby. I only want to be with you. No other woman can compare to you. I’m so sorry I made you think that.”

  “Then what the hell do you mean, that you want to join in the party downstairs then, if you don’t mean fucking brainless number one and two down there?” I say louder than I intended to.

  He squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them looking directly into my mine.

  “I want to use again. I’m fighting the urge every time Hux comes home with that shit. But that’s why I’m so grateful to have you here. I know I wouldn’t be strong enough to resist it if you weren’t with me. You’re my saviour, Lia, my angel and I need you to help keep me on the straight and narrow,” he says. My heart sinks through my body and spills out all over the floor. My eyes glaze over and I don’t know if this is better or worse than thinking he meant the girls.

  “Baby, say something,” he pleads, shaking me slightly. My eyes regain focus and I look into his desperate eyes.

  “Colt, I—”

  He grabs hold of my shoulders and pulls me to him embracing me tightly. “I can’t lose you, Lia.”

  I shake my head and look up at him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m just worried about you.”

  “I know, but I know that with you here I’ll be fine, I promise.”

  I’m not sure how I feel about him looking to me as his source of sobriety. I want him to keep clean because he wants to, not because of me. But I suppose if he turns to me for strength then I can’t possibly refuse to be here to help him.

  “Colt, I’ll help in any way I can. You know I love you, and I only want you to be happy.” He leans down and kisses me hard pushing me against the desk. He grabs hold of my arse and lifts me on top of it moving in-between my open legs.

  His mouth parts from mine. “Say it again,” he whispers as he grinds his cock into me.

  “Huh?” I watch him scrunching his eyes closed tightly.

  “Tell me how you feel?” he asks as his hands run up my skirt and he pulls down my panties.

  I smile at him even though he’s not looking at me. “I love you, Colt.”

  My hands make their way to the button of his jeans. He groans and throws my panties across the room. I unbutton his jeans followed by his zipper and his jeans fall to the floor. His hard cock stands to attention in front of me while he devours me with his eyes. He looks into my eyes and I can see that he really needs me.

  “I love you, Colt,” I repeat as he moves in closer. His mouth crashes to mine and he pulls me closer to the edge of the desk.

  “Again,” he demands as his hand grabs a fist full of my hair pulling tightly.

  “I love you, babe.”

  He slams his cock into me hard. I yelp from the sudden fullness, as he moans loudly tugging on my hair. He starts to move inside me at a frantic pace making my arse chafe on the desk.

  “Again Lia,” he demands nuzzling into my neck as he pounds into me.

  “I. Love. You.” I let out breathlessly as he thrusts into me so hard that all the air is knocked out of my lungs. He tugs on my hair making my head fall back, so my neck is open to him. He leans down and sucks on my skin, so hard I’m sure he’s marking me. Even though it hurts slightly the way he’s fucking me, I am absolutely turned on.

  “Again,” he yells as he pounds into me. It’s hard to think as I moan from the pleasure unfolding inside me.

  “God, I love you,” I murmur and he moans loudly as he starts to tense up. My hands fist in his hair while he continues to slam inside me. His breathing is short and rushed as is mine, while we fuck frantically on his desk. He moves my head back to look at him as he slams into me. His eyes are dark and desperate. I think he’s seeking the reassurance that I won’t leave him, that I love him more than anything, so I tell him again, “I’m so in love with you, Colter Slade.” T
hose words push him over the edge and with one last thrust he explodes inside me hard with a drawn out moan.

  We both run our hands all over each other. It’s like we have to be touching in every way possible. His forehead rests against mine and he looks me in the eyes and his seem lighter somehow. Like maybe the weight that was bearing him down has now been lifted. He leans in and gently kisses my lips. He steps out of his jeans and pulls my top off over my head, followed by his. I undo my bra and then he picks me up off the desk and carries me to the bed laying me down softly. He lies down next to me and then pulls me on top of him. I straddle him and place my hands on his chest. He looks me in the eyes and I tell him one more time that I love him before we make love, normally.

  It’s the third week of our month home before we head off on tour again. Colt and I have been out as much as possible, to try and stay away from all the drugs that Hux is bringing to the house. Since the night Colt needed my reassurances he’s been doing better. Whenever Hux walks in with a bag of coke, Colt seems less on edge than he did that night. It still bothers me that Colt’s having cravings for drugs, but I guess if there’s one thing that’s good about it, it’s that he’s staying clear of anything that might hinder his sobriety.

  We’re all heading into the studio today to listen to the final cut of ‘Until the End of Time’ that the band recorded in the first week of our break. Colt seems ridiculously excited, and even Hux is really upbeat today.

  “So Lia, how does it feel to know that this song is all about you?” Hux asks from the back of the car. Colt chuckles while I turn in my seat and look at Hux.

  “I guess I never really thought about that. I think it’s wonderful that Colt’s written something so beautiful about me.”

  “You’re going to be hated even more now by the evil minions when they find out you nearly left Colt,” Hux says making me feel instantly concerned.