Off Your Rocker?

by K E Osborn

  “How you doing?” Johnny asks me as we start to walk and wheel Colt to exit of the jet.

  “I’m okay, just keeping it together for him.”

  “You’re amazing you know that? Most girls would have run a mile by now, instead you ran a mile back to him. Although I guess you’d do anything for real love hey?”

  “There’s a Hummer waiting for us. It’s going to take us all to the clinic so we can say goodbye to the boys together and let them know they have our continued support. Rob thinks the fans will love it or some shit,” Anna says and I nod.

  We get Colt into the car and make our way to the Priory. I keep looking at Hux and he looks nervous. Colt’s starting to wake and he leans on me the entire way to the clinic. I must admit that even I’m feeling nervous. I have no idea if I’ll be able to see or even talk to Colt while he’s there. All I know is that I have to be there when he goes in and when he comes out.

  We arrive at the clinic and a wheelchair is brought out to the car and Johnny helps Colt into it. Colt’s eyes are open now, but he doesn’t really say much as he flitters in and out of consciousness. We all get out and walk into the main foyer where we’re greeted by a lovely woman and a man who talk through all the policies and procedures with us all. It’s all a little overwhelming and I can’t seem to focus. I just sit holding on to Colt’s hand making sure he’s all right. He wakes every now and then and looks at me and I smile reassuringly. All the paperwork is submitted and it’s time for Colt and Hux to start their treatment. A wave of anxiety hits me and I stand and hold myself, because I feel like I could fall apart at any second. Hux walks over and rests his hand on my shoulder.

  “Don’t worry Lia, I’m gonna make sure he’s okay. I let him down before, but I won’t do it again, I promise,” he says. I well up and a tear falls down my cheek. I nod and he half-smiles as I open my arms and take him in an embrace and hold on to him tightly.

  “Thank you, Hux, I needed to hear that. I’m proud of you, and I know you can do this,” I say pulling back and looking at him. He nods and exhales slowly like he’s beyond nervous. Then he turns and walks toward the entry. I bend down so I am level with Colt. He opens his eyes and looks at me with love.

  “I love you Colt, and I’ll be here in twenty-eight days to bring you home, okay?”

  “I know,” he says. It makes me a little sad that after everything we’ve just been through, he still can’t say it back to me. He takes my hand and holds it tightly. I walk alongside his wheelchair to the entry point. The nurse stops the wheelchair for me to say my final goodbye and I bend down and kiss him. He kisses me back and I can feel myself starting to get emotional, so I pull back and smile at him.

  “Until the end of time, Colt,” I say and he smiles, then he’s wheeled through the entry and out of sight. Anna’s by my side quickly as I can’t stop the tears from falling.

  “They’re both doing the right thing, Lia. Twenty-eight days isn’t long, he’ll be back and better before you know it,” Anna states and I look at her and nod as she wipes away my tears.

  “Now, we have a spare room if you want to stay with us until he’s out?” Johnny asks as he walks over. I smile and I’m humbled by their offer, but I really want to see Princess Sophia and the boys.

  “Thank you so much guys, but I think I’ll stay at my old house. Everything of mine is there and so is Princess and I really just want to cuddle up to her and sleep in my own bed,” I say as we walk out of the clinic. They both smile and we get in the Hummer and they drop me home.

  “I’ll let you know when he calls, okay?” I say to Anna as she hugs me goodbye.

  “Yeah, but call me every day and maybe next week we can catch up for dinner?”

  “Thanks for everything guys, I love you both so much.” Dingo and Sia wave to me out the window of the Hummer and I smile. Anna and Johnny both get back into the car and I wave as they drive off. I move to the front door and rustle around in my bag looking for the keys, when it swings open and before I know what’s happened I’m swept up in strong arms and held tightly. I giggle at the intensity of the hug.

  “Sweetie, why didn’t you tell us you were coming back? It’s all over the news that he’s gone into rehab. Does that mean you guys are sorting it out?” Joseph asks eventually letting me go and holding me at arm’s length. I smile, it’s so good to see him after the trauma of the past forty-eight hours.

  “We’re going to work things out. He’s getting better and then we’ll see where it goes from there. Wait. What are you doing home? Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask as he walks over and collects my luggage dragging it inside.

  He smiles brightly and shakes his head. “I quit. You showed me that life’s too short and I can’t be bothered working somewhere that I hate. Danny and I are opening our own little restaurant,” he says as we walk inside and close the door.

  “Oh my God Joseph, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you guys.” I walk into the lounge room and slump down on the lounge suite. He sits next to me and pulls me into his side.

  “So, tell me all about it.”

  A week passes and I’ve been keeping myself busy helping Joseph and Danny with everything that is restaurant. I haven’t heard from Colt, but Johnny says that’s normal as the first week is intensive for patients and they sometimes don’t let them make outside calls. I want to get any information I can, so I open my laptop to see a whole bunch of Google Alerts, and like an idiot I open them. They say all sorts of things about Colt trying to purposely overdose because he found out I’d moved on with Joseph. Tons of people saying I’m responsible for the band breaking up and having to end their tour a week early. There’s a ‘We Hate Delia the Devil Norman’ Facebook group.

  Wow!

  Then I see some of the nicer stuff, saying that Colt was lost without his one true love and I talked him into going into rehab, and how much they love me for making Colt get the help he so desperately needed. I smile at that one. There’s a press release from Rob saying that the band has not broken up, but is merely taking a much-deserved break while the Slade brothers recuperate. There’s even a press release from Jessi stating she wishes Colt well, and she hopes he recovers quickly, but that it was all my fault that he started with drugs in the first place. I roll my eyes and stop reading. Joseph walks in and tutts when he sees me on the laptop.

  “I thought we’d agreed you’d stay away from the trash?” he asks walking over and closing my laptop.

  I nod and exhale. “Yeah, I should’ve listened to you and stayed away from it. I just miss him you know. I wish I had some way of talking to him to make sure he’s doing okay.”

  “Hey, I know it sucks, but he will call when he can. I promise. Now I need some people to try out our menu. People who aren’t biased like you. Know anyone you want to invite over for dinner?”

  I nod and pick up my mobile phone and dial Anna’s number.

  “Lia, hey,” Anna says chirpily.

  “Hey, how are you today?”

  “The same as yesterday. Relaxing at home on the lounge with my husband and spending as much time in the bedroom with him as possible. It’s so much better when you don’t have to be quiet because there are people in the next room. It’s good having a house to ourselves. I simply love life,” she replies with a giggle. I smile. I know they struggle with the band life, so I’m glad that they get to have a little bit of normalcy.

  “So, Madam A has re-surfaced then?” I ask with a chuckle.

  She laughs and exhales. “Oh yes. Well, she never really leaves, but she’s definitely more available to Johnny now, and he loves it,” she says. “So have you heard from him yet?” she asks and I frown and sigh.

  “No, and I’m depressed. I miss his voice and I just want to know if he’s okay, you know?”

  She sighs. “Yeah, I get it. I want to know how he is too, and Hux. Hopefully, they’ll let them call soon.”

  “So, anyway enough of the sad shit. What are you and Johnny doing for dinner tonight? Joseph and Danny wan
t to trial their menu on a couple of willing prospects if you’re game?”

  “Hey, as long as I don’t have to cook, we’ll be there. What time?”

  “Well, you can come whenever you like really, but food will start around sixish,” I say and I hear her squeal. I laugh at her excitement.

  “Johnny, stop I’m on the phone,” I hear her mumble and I realise the squeal wasn’t from excitement. I smile and shake my head.

  “Sorry about that. Okay, we’ll be there soon then. I feel like hanging with my bestie, even though I talk to you every day, it’s not the same as actually being there.”

  “Cool, can’t wait,” I say and hang up. I walk into the kitchen where Joseph is starting to get the food ready.

  “Anna and Johnny are coming round, now please be nice.”

  “Hey, I was nice until she started on you, then my protective best friendness kicked in.”

  “Best friendness?” I question and he shrugs. “Okay, well you guys are both my besties, so it would be great if you could get along for my sake?”

  “Princess, as long as she treats you right, we’ll get along just fine. I promise. Plus her husband is hot and I like to look at him,” he replies raising his eyebrows insinuatingly. I slap him on the arm and chuckle.

  Anna and Johnny arrive and we’ve been in the dining area drinking tea and generally chatting about everything and nothing while Joseph and Danny cook up a storm in the kitchen. We’re busy discussing the importance of Boozeline when my mobile phone rings. I pull it from my pocket and my heart leaps into my throat when I see Colt’s picture lighting the screen.

  “Lia, you okay?” Anna asks.

  I smile and nod. “Yeah, it’s Colt. I’ll put it on speaker so we can all talk to him.” They nod and I answer the call hitting the speaker button.

  “Hey baby,” I say sounding happier than I meant to.

  “Hey,” he answers sullen and depressed. I instantly frown and look at Johnny for guidance. He nods telling me to keep talking to him.

  “Babe, Anna and Johnny are here, I have you on speaker. How are you?” I ask trying to sound up beat.

  He exhales and I bite my bottom lip. “I’m okay. Taking it one day at a time, as they say,” he says emotionless, which in turns makes me feel emotional.

  “Colt are you really okay?” I ask dreading the answer, but it seems to perk him up a little.

  “Yeah sorry. I’m just really tired. I have zero energy and all these sessions are harder than I thought. Plus, I miss you like crazy.”

  “Oh baby, I miss you too, so much.”

  “They say we can start to have visitors next week. I’d love to see you if you want to?”

  “Of course, I’ll be there. You just tell me when and what time.”

  “I called Mum and told her that Hux and I are doing fine. She wants to come down to the visitor day, but I told her she didn’t need to do that. I don’t really want her to see me or Hux in rehab again, she deserves better than that. So I told her I would go and see her when we get out.”

  “Okay baby, whatever you feel comfortable with, I know your Mum would be upset knowing you’re both back in there, and if you don’t want to see her, then I’m not going to tell you any different. I support you Colt.”

  “Thanks baby, I promise when I get out, we’ll find some time to go and see her. I know you want to meet her.”

  I nod even though he can’t see me. “Yeah, that’s fine with me, whatever you want to do,” I say and Johnny smiles at me.

  “Hey Colt, how’s Hux doing?” Johnny asks. I probably should’ve asked that myself.

  “He’s doing really well, flirting with all the nurses and keeping me entertained. We have a joint counseling session to discuss our dad and all the bullshit that comes with it. He didn’t want to talk at first, but now we can’t shut the idiot up. He struggled a lot the first four days with the detox, but I was coming out of the worst part of mine when he was going through the worst of his, so at least I was there to help him. If I was anything like Hux was when we were on the jet, Lia baby I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to see that—”

  “Hey, stop right there, Colt. Of course, I’d be there for you, just like you’d do it for me. So don’t stress over that, okay? I’m a tough girl and I love you, so that’s what I’m supposed to do, and if it helps you get better then I’m all for working through the bad to get to the good.”

  “Lia?”

  “Yeah baby?”

  “I’m sorry I still can’t say it, but trust me I’m working on it, okay?” he says sounding sincere.

  I smile and exhale. “It’s okay Colt, you just concentrate on getting sober and we can look into that when your well. I know you do, and that’s all that matters,” I reply. I know his issues and I know he’s probably stressing about the fact that he can’t tell me he loves me, and to be honest it’s really getting to me, but I don’t want Colt to know that.

  Joseph walks in carrying a tray of food. “Grubs up,” he says not realizing we’re on the phone.

  “Who’s that?” Colt asks and Joseph looks at me and mouths ‘Colt?’ I nod and he frowns.

  “Hey Colt, it’s Joseph,” he says and I look at him wide eyed like he’s an idiot.

  “What the fuck is your douche bag ex doing there Lia?” Colt blasts out sounding extremely angry.

  “Baby, it’s not what you think. I’m living back with Joseph—”

  “So you wait till I’m gone and then you all party without me, right?” Colt interrupts.

  “Colt will you shut up and listen dude,” Johnny says as Colt huffs down the line.

  “Joseph’s in a relationship with another man. Babe, he’s gay,” I plead with Colt. There’s silence on the other end of the line and we all look at each other and wonder what’s going on.

  “Well, that explains a lot,” Colt replies sounding like he’s trying to hold back a laugh. I breathe easier and Joseph smiles at me.

  “Wait, why does that explain a lot?” Joseph asks.

  “Well, just look at how you dress dude. I mean what straight guy wears a sweater around their neck? And I’m pretty sure you were checking me out in the rose garden now that I think about it,” Colt says with a chuckle.

  Joseph laughs and nods. “Yeah, I was kinda checking you out, but don’t tell Danny I said that.”

  I shake my head in disbelief.

  “Who’s Danny?” Colt asks.

  “My amazing boyfriend,” Joseph replies and it’s so weird that my current and my ex-boyfriends are carrying on a conversation without me. I look at Anna and she’s smirking.

  “Oh cool, congrats man. Also, I want to thank you. I know Lia stayed with you while I was… well, being a dick, and I thought you were trying to get her back, but now I see that you were just looking after her, so thank you. I really appreciate it,” Colt says sounding much more upbeat.

  “Hey anytime, but please don’t make a habit of breaking her heart. I don’t think she could handle it again,” Joseph says.

  “Message received loud and clear, and trust me I’m never going to leave her ever again. She’s stuck with me, until the end of time, isn’t that right, baby?”

  “Sure is. Colt?” I ask hesitantly.

  “Yeah baby?”

  “Thank you. For understanding. Joseph’s been an amazing support and Danny too, and you reaching out an olive branch really makes me happy,” I say.

  “Well, I’m glad, because all I ever want to do is make you happy, Lia. I’ve been told that I can be a little hot headed and jump to the wrong conclusions and react before thinking. But I’m working on that and I know I reacted about Joseph before knowing the full story, so I’m sorry to all of you for hearing that. Especially to you, Lia. I trust you, so I don’t even know why I went off. I guess my jealousy just took hold, and I thought that it’s not fair that he gets to be around you and I don’t. I just miss you baby,” he says.

  “I know, and I’m glad you’re getting all the help you need. I can’t wait to s
ee you next week,” I say and smile at the thought.

  “I’m allowed to make calls now, so I’ll call you as often as I can, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Well, it was great chatting with you all, but I have to get going. Baby can you take me off speaker so I can talk with you about something,” he asks.

  “Ah, yeah sure, say goodbye everyone,” I say and hold the phone up.

  “Bye,” everyone calls out and I smile and walk out of the room taking the phone off speaker and placing it to my ear.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, everything’s fine baby, I just wanted to find out what you are wearing?” he asks with a slight chuckle and I can tell he’s smiling. My eyes widen and I can’t help the giggle that escapes me.

  “Seriously?” I ask and he laughs.

  “Yeah, it’s been two months since I was last with you and I’m dying over here. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is you naked and it’s doing my head in.”

  I look behind me to make sure no one’s in the room or nearby and I lower my voice so they can’t hear me. “I’m wearing a black lace corset and a lace thong, suspenders and stockings and I’m bent over the lounge waiting for you,” I say, sultrily.

  “Fuck baby, you gave me an instant hard on. I wish you were here. I’m gonna have to jerk off in the shower to that image now,” he says making me laugh.

  “I miss you, babe.”

  “I miss you too, baby, but I’ll call again tomorrow, okay? I promise.”

  “Okay, I love you. Have a good night. Say hi to your brother for me,” I say and I suddenly feel a sense of panic knowing that he’s going to be hanging up soon.

  “I will, and Lia?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I heart you,” he says and I giggle as my heart fills with joy. I know it’s not exactly what I want to hear, but it is pretty damn close. So I’ll take it.

  “I heart you, too, now go and jerk off in the shower,” I say and he laughs.

  “Okay, bye baby,” he says sounding much happier than when I first answered the call.