Just Like Em

by Marion Ekholm

  “No need to worry, Auntie Em. I’ve got a job offer. A very good one, in fact, and I can take care of the whole pack of your family and mine with no problem at all.” He put his fingers beneath her chin and forced her to look at him. “My old boss at Metro offered me the same job I had before, only with an increase in pay. I don’t need any financial support.”

  His tone softened. “And I want very much for us to be a family. I want you, your son and mother to join me and my children. We can make it work.”

  Em took in another deep breath, to fortify herself so she could go on. “Not if I have to compete with Karen all the time.”

  Roger gazed past her when he spoke. “I’ve already made arrangements for Karen’s mother to have the painting. I can’t erase Karen from my life.” When he looked back into her eyes, he continued, “But I’ll try not to have her come between us. Now, if you have no further objections,” he said, a smile in his voice, “I’d like to get back to my proposal. Will you please be my wife?”

  Em glanced away. Eye contact, when he looked at her with such affection, made concentrating so difficult. What more could she ask for? At least her feelings about Karen were out in the open, and he’d promised not to have her come between them. Maybe they could have a life together. Her life over the past month certainly had some wonderful perks.

  “So, I’m not a very good cook?”

  Roger rested his head against hers, his mouth next to her ear. “I’m not interested in your cooking, Em.”

  She leaned into the soft warmth of his lips moving along her ear. Closing her eyes, she relaxed against his shoulder. When his hand caressed her chin and eased her ever so slightly so that their lips touched, Em let all her suppressed feelings surface. She joined him in a kiss that expressed her love and all that she was willing to give. Maybe he didn’t love her now, but in time...

  Moments later, Roger asked, “Will you marry me, Em?” He kissed her again, preventing her from speaking. One arm held her firmly against him while he slipped the box into her hand.

  When she finally came up for air, Em held the box for a moment before giving it back to him. His expression went blank. She hadn’t meant to reject him again and quickly said, “Will you put it on my finger?”

  “Then it’s yes!” he exclaimed with such excitement that Em had to smile. After snapping the box open, Roger removed the ring and placed it on her finger.

  He took her back into his arms. While his lips worked their magic, Em held him close to her heart. “Yes, I’ll marry you,” she whispered.

  When he finally looked at her, Em knew she had made the right decision. He may not love her, but she could live with that. At least she’d have everything she wanted for as long as he’d have her. It felt natural, right to be cradled in his arms.

  For several moments he caressed her cheek, then he leaned closer. When his lips were nearly touching hers, he whispered, “I’m really looking forward to you becoming Mrs. Holden as soon as possible.” He slipped a stray strand of hair over her ear. “Agreed?”

  With a quick nod, she showed she approved.

  The sound of footfalls on the sidewalk slowed her racing heartbeat. They weren’t alone. She opened her eyes and remained still as a man walked by with his dog.

  Once the man had disappeared, Roger said, “We’d better head to the airport.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  AFTER THEIR EXTENDED kiss, they walked back to the car. “Samantha knew you were going to ask me. Did you talk to her about it?”

  Roger opened the door and helped her into the Mustang. “No, of course not.”

  Once he settled in the driver’s seat, Em said, “She must be psychic.”

  Roger chuckled. “Okay, I kind of let something slip when I gave her the earrings.”

  “Like what?”

  He started the car. “As I was leaving her room, she mentioned marriage, and I asked her if it would bother her. I saw tears in her eyes when she left your room. She isn’t against it, is she? Because I kind of got the impression she was for it.”

  “Actually, she wanted me to say yes. But she told me she couldn’t call me Mom.” Em paused. “I understand.”

  Roger patted Em’s knee. “The boys won’t be a problem. I’ve already trained Brad to call me Dad.”

  Em chuckled. “That you did. I’ll bet back at that hospital you never expected to eventually have him for a son.”

  “Can I have him as my son? Will Bradley allow me to adopt Brad?”

  For a moment, Em sat back in wonder. “I really can’t say.” Knowing that Roger wanted to legally call Brad his own warmed her, but how could she convince Bradley it was in his best interest? That thought began to churn inside her. She tried setting it aside by asking, “How interested are you in adding other children to your family?”

  “Our family,” he corrected, and she silently nodded. Roger pulled the car into the entrance to Sky Harbor. “I hadn’t thought about it.” He drove into the airport parking garage, then faced her. “Do you want more? Four’s already a handful.”

  “Accidents happen.”

  “We will have no accidents. I’m all for having a dozen more, but not unless you want them.”

  “I’ll think about it.” Yes, a child by the man she loved. Definitely. “But you can forget the dozen.” She started to chuckle. “I might consider one.”

  “I love it when you laugh.” He helped her out of the car and grasped both her hands. “I’ve got a new job and this beautiful creature who consented to be my wife. I can’t wait to get married, settle in a new place. Have you thought about what kind of house you want?”

  He dropped her hands and reached into the back for his laptop and suitcase. After locking the car and handing Em the keys, they headed toward the elevators.

  “What I’d want? For heaven’s sake, I’ve had no chance to think that far ahead.”

  “Sure you have. I know you and your mother have been saving toward one. You must have some idea.”

  Em could barely believe it. Roger had meant what he said about removing Karen’s importance and putting his new wife first.

  A new house of her own would give Em the chance to create something with her own imprint. Better yet, an old house—maybe his parents’?—would be too perfect. What more could she want? A mature rose garden, plenty of room for all their children with extra space for any future additions. And then that delightful cottage for her mother. “You’re including my mother in this? You expect her to stay with us on a permanent basis?”

  “Absolutely.” They entered the elevator and Roger pushed the button to the floor they needed. “We can have rooms attached to our home or a separate house, close enough so we’ll have a babysitter when we need one.”

  When they were out in the lobby, Em stopped him. “I’d love to live in your parents’ home. Jodie told me they want to sell, and I’m sure they’d prefer to keep it in the family.”

  His forehead furrowed as he narrowed his gaze. “My parents’ place?”

  Em nodded.

  “But, Em, it’s in Phoenix.”

  “Right. It’s a great location close to everything including the schools the children attend. They won’t have to change anything.” Em’s voice rose as the excitement of the day began to take hold—marriage to the man she adored, a new home to call her own. About to burst from pure pleasure, Em doubted if she could handle much more.

  She glanced at Roger and wondered why his puzzled expression hadn’t changed. “What’s the matter? Don’t you like my idea?”

  “I’m just trying to fit it in with our move to Seattle. I don’t see how we can keep a house in both places.”

  “What are you talking about? Why would you need a house in Seattle?”

  “That’s where my job is. That’s where I need to live.”

 
; “But you said you were getting your old job back.”

  “Yes. The one I transferred to Seattle.”

  A chill began to invade her. “When did you find this out?”

  “My last trip. I’ll be transferred the first of the year.”

  “Seattle? You’re transferring to Seattle?” Slowly she pushed away from him.

  “Yes. The boys will love it—fishing, boating...”

  “We can’t move up there,” Em said, her voice rising on a note of panic.

  “But...”

  “Brad can’t live in Seattle. He needs a dry climate for his asthma.”

  Roger said something under his breath, but Em was too concerned with her own thoughts to pay any attention. The world she had created only moments before, of marriage and a life with Roger, had just tumbled in ruins around her.

  * * *

  EM AND ROGER didn’t talk on the short walk to security.

  “I’ll have to go in.” He held out his arms, and she wrapped hers around him. In one wonderful moment she was warm, cuddled and wanted. When he squeezed her to him, her feet left the floor, and she clung to him with all her might out of desperation.

  Please don’t leave me, she thought. Please don’t go to Seattle. But she remained silent, unable to put additional pressure on him. When he finally loosened his hold, she slipped down and stood next to the black tape designating the aisles to security.

  She remained nestled in his embrace, as people pushed past them. Roger whispered close to her ear. “This job—it’s what I do. It’s what I know.”

  Em moved her head so that her mouth brushed his neck. She felt his pulse, his life blood pounding against her lips. Unable to speak, she kept her eyes tightly closed to control the flood of tears that threatened.

  “I have to go there for the kids. I can’t sacrifice their well-being.”

  She nodded, unwilling to risk using her voice.

  “I’m not a gambler, Em. I know men with more education than I have who’ve gone years without finding any work in their profession. And as you said, it wouldn’t be fair to you to support me while I look for work.”

  She wanted to take back those words, tell him she’d sacrifice everything to keep him, if he’d only stay in Phoenix. But unlike Bradley, Roger was too proud to allow her to support him until he found what he needed.

  Reluctantly, Em backed away. “I understand.” She put her fingers over his lips so he couldn’t offer any other reasons. She knew them all. Besides, his children were as important to him as her son was to her. How could she fault him for that?

  Her throat was tight as she said, “You and the kids will do great there. And they can always come back for a visit.” Em tried to smile. The tortured movement hurt so badly that she stopped and pressed her lips together. “You’d better get going,” she said, as she pulled her shawl closely around her shoulders. “You wouldn’t want to miss your plane.”

  He kissed her again, this time on the cheek. She slipped the ring off her finger and put it in his hand. Abruptly, she pivoted and headed toward the elevators without a backward glance.

  Somehow she managed to retrace her steps and get back to the Mustang. She had no desire to stay at the airport. It reminded her of everything she had lost and was about to lose. Already she missed the ring she’d returned. It had felt so right, so perfect on her finger.

  How would she survive without him?

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  EM TOSSED IN her bed, swirling in and out of dreams that left her exhausted. Roger was calling to her, his arms opened wide, motioning for her to come. Rain poured on him, while she stood in sunshine. Someone coughed behind her, but whenever she turned to see who it was, no one was there.

  Several times during the night, Em woke, sat up and listened. Was Sammy coughing? When the house remained quiet, she lay back and relived the previous hours and Roger’s proposal.

  Despite his remark about their marriage being a business deal, he had to care for her a little. Then again, since they could never be together, maybe it was best he didn’t love her. He didn’t need the added torture she felt.

  At the first sounds of her mother stirring, Em tossed her feet over the side of the bed. Tears she’d managed to hold back threatened to overflow. Afraid that she might wake her mother and have to provide an explanation, Em gathered her clothes and running shoes and left the room. Once she had a chance to absorb what had happened last night, she’d be able to face her mother and her inevitable interrogation.

  “I’m not going to cry,” she told herself as she slipped into her shorts in the powder room off the hall. Despite her resolve, she needed to swipe the towel across her eyes.

  “You need a cigarette,” she told her reflection. That should calm her and give her the composure she lacked. She found money in a jacket pocket in the hall closet and headed for the door. With any luck, she’d have half the pack smoked before she came home.

  * * *

  ROGER SAT UP and tried to rub the crick out of his neck. A day’s growth of beard was itchy on his chin, and he scratched the stubble. If he had known his flight would be delayed this late, he could have spent the night sleeping in his own bed instead of on a seat in the terminal thinking about...

  He had to stop thinking about last night and the time he’d spent with Em. Each remembered moment ended with that final blow of rejection, not of him, but of the life he could provide for his family in Seattle.

  To keep his mind off last night’s agony, Roger now kept busy making a list of all the chores he had to complete on this trip. Number one: find a real estate agent to start checking out homes for him and his children. He needed something close to a good school. Maybe a place on one of the islands, where they could spend quality time boating and fishing.

  The man in the molded plastic seat next to him leaned over. “Any idea why we’re delayed?”

  “No, not a clue.”

  “Bet it’s engine trouble. You hear about the plane that went down last week?” The man nodded sagely. “Engine trouble.”

  Roger returned to his list. Number two: find an agency to help him locate a housekeeper or nanny, someone to watch over the boys while he worked. If only Doris would leave her grandson behind. She was wonderful with the children, providing love with a good sense of discipline. How would they adjust to a new nanny?

  “You take out extra insurance?”

  Roger looked up. The man next to him was fidgeting in his seat. The last thing Roger wanted to discuss was the possibility of a plane crash right before he boarded.

  “It’s automatic when I purchase the ticket.” He tried to return to his list, but the man continued.

  “I’ve got a million on me. We go down,” the man said, aiming his thumb toward the floor, “and my wife’s set for life.”

  “Yeah,” another man across the aisle added. “She’s probably the one who created the mechanical problem.” His wife tittered and swatted his arm before slipping her hand in his. Roger smiled at the affectionate couple. Two people growing old together and still enjoying each other’s company.

  He crossed one knee over the other and focused on number three: find someone to help him with Samantha. She’d give him the most problems, getting in with the wrong crowd just to spite him. He visualized tattoos, pierced body parts. They’d fight, she’d run away and end up on the streets, lying in an alley somewhere without friends or family. The vision made him cringe.

  He glanced down at his watch to check the time.

  What was going on? If the delay continued, he’d miss his afternoon meeting with the president of the company to discuss his transfer. The man sitting next to him had gone to the desk. “Another half hour,” he said as he returned to his seat. “I got appointments. What about you?”

  “If it’s only a half hour, I’m okay.”
The man looked as though he might start a conversation, so Roger took out his pad again, but he couldn’t concentrate.

  Maybe he and Em could consider a long-distance marriage, with her staying in Phoenix, raising Brad and Samantha, while he stayed in Seattle with the twins. It certainly would solve several problems. Let’s face it, I’d go broke or die from exhaustion commuting that distance on a regular basis. Especially if he had to deal with these damn delays. He checked his watch again. Fifteen more minutes.

  Finally, they were called to board the plane. The man and woman who had been sitting across from him came up behind him. “It’s a shame you couldn’t spend all this wasted time with your wife,” she said, adding a smile. Roger smiled back, not willing to correct her.

  “I saw you both when we entered the terminal. A lovely woman.” She smiled again. “And the two of you, so much in love.” Her words ended on a sigh, and she returned her attention to her husband.

  Love? Was that what you called this knife sticking in his chest? Was he giving up on love?

  As he waited in line, he thought of what he’d told Em—he wasn’t a gambler. No, he certainly wasn’t. All his life he’d taken the safe route, the one with the least amount of friction. Then why was he transferring to Seattle—disturbing his sons’ lives, destroying his daughter’s as well as his own? Oh, the move might provide a job, but it certainly offered little else. It didn’t offer love.

  “Your boarding pass,” the flight attendant said.

  So what if he had to start over, sell the house, use the money he’d put aside for his retirement and the kids’ education? He was still young, still able to make his way in the business world. He could tackle anything with Em by his side. He turned to the couple behind him.

  “You’re right. My wife is a lovely woman, and I’d be a fool if I left her behind.” The man looked stunned, but the woman beamed a smile at him and extended her hand. Roger gave it a firm shake before heading for the exit.

  * * *