Beautiful Mess

by Preston, Jennifer

  “Go!” Cole barely avoided an elbow in his nose as he ducked back to his table. Watching him, Bri was suddenly very worried about what she’d just gotten herself into. This was a bad idea, she could feel it. A very bad idea.

  Chapter 9

  Standing in line with the Dance Team, waiting to walk out to the field, Bri got her first glimpse of the football game. There were two minutes left before halftime, and Santa Monica was up by three points. The opposing team had just punted, and the Tigers had the ball on their own ten yard line. As the offense took the field, Bri couldn’t help but look for Cole. She mentally smacked herself upside the head, and turned her attention back to the game.

  The quarterback, who she knew was Trey, called the snap and threw a long pass, which was caught and then ran for another ten yards, before being stopped by a wall of bodies. The announcers voice came over the speakers.

  “Number thirty-three, Cole Marra, with the reception. First down at the forty-five.”

  Bri’s eyes snapped to number thirty-three running over to his huddled team mates. She had to admit, Cole looked good in those white football pants, and her eyes lingered on his perfect rear end for a moment. She forced herself to avert her eyes, and watched as the team drove the ball down the field for a touchdown right before time expired. The crowd in the stands went crazy. The team came running towards the tunnel leading to the locker rooms, where the Dance Team was lined up. Cole had taken off his helmet, and despite her best attempt not to, Bri’s eyes found him as he ran towards her. Catching her staring at him, Cole smiled and winked at her as he ran by. Busted, Bri cursed herself internally for her lapse in concentration. Cole didn’t need any encouragement, and she wasn’t going to give him any. She was over him. Shaking her head, she focused on her upcoming performance.

  The Dance Team took the field and performed their halftime routine flawlessly. Bri had always loved football halftimes. There was just something about performing out on the grassy field, under the lights, that wasn’t like anything else. They hit their ending position, and the crowd cheered as they left the field. Back in the locker room, the girls changed out of their uniforms and into their team warm ups, which they were required by Belinda to wear as they watched the rest of the game.

  Bri and Layla found Jess, Ethan, and Maddie sitting in the student section, and squeezed themselves in. Somehow they ended up sitting right in front of the cheerleaders. Great, now she had to watch Serena jump up and down for the rest of the game.

  The football players were just taking the field again, and Serena emphatically waved Cole over. He stopped briefly, and she whispered something in his ear. Bri rolled her eyes and tried to shove her jealousy back down. As Cole turned to go join his team, he caught sight of her in the stands. She quickly averted her gaze and pretended that she hadn’t seen him. He ran over to the team, and Bri breathed a sigh of relief that he was gone.

  But, as she watched the rest of the game, Bri was convinced that Cole was deliberately taunting her. Whenever he could, he stood right in front of where she was sitting, so she was forced to stare at that sexy butt of his. Of course, this also put him right in front of Serena, too, so maybe it was Serena he was trying to taunt. But judging from the looks he kept shooting her when he wasn’t on the field, she didn’t believe it was Serena’s attention he was trying to get at all.

  The game ended, the Tigers winning, and as Bri slowly made her way out of the stadium, she was very conscious of Cole’s eyes following her every move.

  Bri hadn’t thought she’d been expecting Cole to be any different at school on Monday, but she was surprisingly disappointed when he continued to ignore her, even after she’d agreed to help him. Berating herself for being so stupid as to think that would have changed anything, she sulked into history.

  “Whoa! Was that a tattoo I just saw?” Trey was talking to Cole, but staring at Bri.

  Not having much time that morning, Bri had pulled her hair up into a ponytail. Obviously Trey noticed.

  “Yeah, I think it was,” Cole replied.

  “Dude, is that hot or what?” Trey was eyeing her like he was starving and she was an all-you-can-eat buffet.

  “Hell yeah, it is,” Cole mumbled.

  Trey let out a forced laugh. “Dude, you’re not moving in on my territory, are you?”

  “No man, not at all. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the view! Besides, I’ve got my hands full with Serena as it is. I don’t think I could handle anything more!”

  “Good, because I’d hate to have to punch you for eyeing my girl over there!”

  Bri couldn’t take it any longer. She turned and glared at Trey and Cole.

  “You two asshats do know I can hear you, right? And just so we’re clear, Trey, I am not, nor will I ever be, your girl. The sooner you get that through your thick skull, the better. Now, if you two don’t stop talking about me, I’m going to start throwing books at your heads!” She turned back around.

  “Did I mention I love the feisty ones!” Trey chuckled.

  At lunch, Bri noticed Cole sitting at Serena’s table. He was talking to another of the cheerleaders, who was smiling dreamily up at him. Serena walked up behind the girl, said something, and motioned rudely for her to vacate her seat. The poor girl’s eyes dropped, and she moved to the end of the table. Serena quickly slid in next to Cole and smiled possessively at him.

  Bri leaned into Layla. “Hey Lay, what’s the deal with Serena?”

  “Serena Blake,” Layla snorted. “She’s an anal retentive, obsessive-compulsive, control freak, who’s declared herself queen, and thinks she gets to order the rest of us around. She’s got her nose in just about everything that goes on here, and is in about any club and organization you can name. She’s a spoiled little rich girl who has always gotten whatever she wants. And believe me, all hell breaks loose when she doesn’t. If I were you, I’d stay under her radar. She’s viscous.”

  Bri swallowed her pride, and asked, “What about her and Cole? Are they together or something?” She had tried to sound nonchalant, but Layla eyed her with a smile.

  “Despite what everyone is saying, no they’re not. Not that Serena isn’t trying her hardest to convince him otherwise. But is seems Cole isn’t interested in a relationship right now. Not that you’d know it from watching the two of them.”

  Serena was whispering something in Cole’s ear, and he was laughing. They really did look like a couple. A beautiful, perfect, red carpet couple. Bri cursed the pang that racked her heart. She didn’t care if they were together or not.

  “Why?” Layla asked slyly. “Is someone interested in Cole Marra?” She wagged her eyebrows at Bri.

  “Not even remotely,” Bri scoffed. Layla didn’t look like she bought it, though. Bri had never told Layla about meeting Cole that summer, and what happened when school started. That was something she’d take to her grave. But she still didn’t want Layla any ideas. So she quickly changed the subject, and they spent the rest of lunch talking about other, much more pleasant things.

  Given Cole’s arrogant and dismissive behavior, Bri was surprised when he tried to sit next to her in Ceramics that afternoon.

  “This seat taken?” He flashed his most charming smile.

  “Yes,” she replied curtly and turned away. Much to her chagrin, he sat down anyway.

  “So, we still on for tomorrow?”

  “Yeah fine, whatever.” Bri was still in a sour mood after watching him and Serena cuddling at lunch.

  “Okay,” Cole hedged. “Anything special you want me to bring?”

  “Nope. Just your math book and your assignment.” Bri continued to focus on the clay in front of her, not sparing Cole a glance. After a few minutes of silence, he finally got the hint.

  “Um, okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He walked away.

  Bri let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. What was with that guy? One minute he was pretending she didn’t exist and didn’t matter, and the next he was tryin
g to be all buddy-buddy? It was driving her insane. He was driving her insane.

  In fact, Bri was still thinking about his hot and cold, back and forth behavior as she lay in bed that night. And it finally hit her. Cole would only talk to her when he was alone, when none of his friends were around to see him. But if anyone he knew was around, he was cocky and aloof. The realization had her fuming. She wasn’t good enough to associate with in public, but she was adequate enough when he needed something. Well, he had another thing coming if he thought she’d just play along.

  So, the next day, it was back to ignoring Cole’s existence as usual. Two could play at this game. She refused to look at him, or acknowledge him in any way. She didn’t even stop to make sure he was going to show up that night. In fact, she was really hoping he would bail on her, so she would have an excuse to get out of this whole tutoring thing. She was a little disappointed, then, when her doorbell rang at 5:25. Dang it, he was even early. Bri plastered a neutral expression on her face and opened the door.

  “You can sit at the dining room table,” she answered the door, all business, not even sparing him a greeting. “Did you bring everything?” She led the way to the dining room.

  “Yep,” Cole lifted his backpack. He seemed unsure of what to make of her curtness.

  “Good, let’s get started then.” They sat down and Cole pulled out his book. Bri noticed his hair was still wet from his shower. Crap, she did not want to think about him in the shower. As she leaned in to take a look at his math book, she caught the scent of his shampoo, and almost groaned. It was not fair that he smelled so good, it made it much more difficult to stay mad at him. Angry at her reaction to him, Bri shook her head, attempting to clear it and focus.

  “So, what are your questions? What aren’t you getting?” she demanded bluntly.

  Taken aback by her abruptness, Cole tried to explain what he was struggling with. Bri began quickly going over some problems with him, hoping to be done with this as quickly as possible. Halfway through her explanation, he stopped her.

  “You know, this might be a little easier to grasp if you weren’t being so snippy and hostile with me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, perturbed.

  “Oh, I’m sorry Cole,” she replied sarcastically. “I didn’t realize you needed to be babied.”

  “Hey,” Cole looked right into her eyes. “I know you don’t like me much right now, but I’m here because I need your help. The least you could do is not make me feel like a loser because I need it! And could you quit being so damn condescending?”

  Bri opened her mouth for a retort, but snapped it closed again. Cole was right. He had asked for her help, and she’d agreed to give it. No matter what she felt about him, she could at least be civil while she helped him. She took a deep breath to calm herself.

  “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry I’m being snippy and hostile. I’ll try to be nicer,” she managed to get out.

  “Thank you. Want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

  “Nope. The only thing you and I will be discussing is math. That’s it. Understand?” When Cole nodded, she continued. “Good. Now let’s get back to this.”

  They continued working math problems for the rest of the hour. After packing up his bag, Bri followed Cole to the door, where he paused.

  “You know, you can still talk to me Bri. We used to talk about things, remember? We used to be friends. I miss that.” Cole’s eyes held a depth of sadness that surprised her. “I just want you to know that I’m still here, if you need me.”

  “Really?” Bri was skeptical. “Because it seems to me, Cole, that the only time you will talk to me is when you’re alone. If your friends are around, suddenly I’m not even good enough for you to acknowledge. And then now, when no one else is here, you want me to pour my heart out and tell you everything that’s wrong? It doesn’t work like that! You are either my friend all the time, or you’re not. And you’ve made it very clear that you are not my friend. So don’t come over here and give me that “I’m here for you” crap!” she finished angrily. “If I’m not good enough for you at school, then you’re not good enough for me, period.”

  Cole dropped his eyes, but not before Bri saw the pain there.

  “Okay,” he replied quietly. “If that’s the way you want it.”

  “No Cole!” She was furious that he still wasn’t getting it. “This isn’t the way I want it! This is the way you’ve chosen for things to be. So this is the way they are.”

  He nodded slowly and turned to go. He paused, looking like he desperately wanted to say something, but then changed his mind. “Goodnight, Ambria,” he said sadly.

  “Goodbye, Cole.” She shut the door.

  Bri leaned against the door and felt the sting of tears in her eyes. How was he still doing this to her? How was he still able to jack with her emotions like this? She was over him. He was nothing but a lying, conceited, self-absorbed jerk. But the pain, the sadness, in his eyes had been real. He genuinely regretted the way things had turned out between them. But he was the one who caused the rift between them in the first place, so why would he be so upset? Nothing made sense. Cole was a confounding dichotomy, and Bri didn’t know if she had the energy to figure him out.

  Things continued in much the same way for the next few weeks. To her great horror, Trey asked Bri to the Homecoming dance, which she emphatically rejected. Layla had offered to find her a date, like she had for Maddie, but Bri gracefully declined. She really didn’t feel like going to the dance at all, and stayed home with the six hour miniseries of Pride and Prejudice instead.

  After Homecoming, the bet the football players had about Bri seemed to be forgotten, and she was able to sink back into relative obscurity at school. Serena, her BFF Natalie, and the rest of her cheerleader minions continued to give Bri dirty looks, and Serena was known to offer the occasional snide comment. But for the most part, people quit paying attention to her, which was just the way she liked it.

  The girls on the Dance Team even mellowed out a little, with the exception of Natalie and Erica. But for Bri, not having the rest of the team despise her was a nice change of pace.

  She and Cole continued to ignore each other at school, even in ceramics. But he never once missed their tutoring sessions. He was always on time and very attentive. They didn’t talk about anything but math, as per her rule, but Bri was reminded how much she’d enjoyed spending time with him, before he’d turned into a prick. That was one mystery that still consumed her. She knew she’d never be able to move on until she figured it out. So, as the days and weeks passed, Bri watched Cole, covertly of course, trying to figure out what his deal was. At school, he was always the arrogant, apathetic ass, who only cared about himself. Surrounded by his popular, superficial friends, he fit in seamlessly. But during their tutoring sessions, she saw none of that. Cole was respectful and considerate, engaging, and even grateful. More like the Cole she’d known before. It was like he was two polar opposite people. It all depended on who was, or wasn’t, around.

  Much to her dismay, she found herself liking the Cole that came to her house on Tuesdays, and began looking forward to it. It made her miss her friend, the boy she’d grown to care about. She had forgotten how much fun he was, how nice it was to be near him. How his eyes lit up when he smiled. How he melted her heart with that smile. And over time, her anger began to diminish, and she felt herself softening.

  Bri didn’t realize it, but by doing what she’d asked him, Cole was slowly breaking her down.

  Chapter 10

  It was the second week of October, and Bri was doing some homework while waiting for Cole to come by for his weekly tutoring. The past few weeks had begun to wear on her. Keeping Cole at a distance was taking more out of her than she’d like to admit. But she couldn’t complain; he’d done exactly what she’d asked and given her the space she’d wanted. The problem was that now she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted anymore. She was more confused and confounded than ever.

  There
was a knock on the door at 5:30 sharp. Bri had to admit, she’d been impressed. Cole hadn’t been late or blown her off once. When he was there, he listened and paid attention to her explanations and examples. He seemed to be making some real progress.

  Bri rose and went to answer the door. She had the house to herself, as she did every Tuesday. Her brothers had soccer on Tuesday nights, and her dad was never home before 7:00. It was about the only quiet time she had.

  She opened the door to a beaming Cole. Unable to help smiling in return, she asked, “Hey, what has you so happy tonight?”

  He didn’t say anything, but held up a piece of paper. Curious, Bri took it and looked it over.

  “95%! Cole that’s awesome!” She smiled as she handed him back his math test. She motioned for him to come inside, and he walked in, in full swagger mode.

  “Yep, I’m pretty amazing!” he joked. “I don’t think I’ve ever done that well on a math test before.” He dropped his bag by the table as Bri went to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of sodas out of the fridge. “Wow! Refreshments? This is a first,” he shot at her as she handed him a Mountain Dew.

  “Well,” she shrugged, “you acing your first math test is cause for celebration. Well, a small celebration, anyway.” She nodded at the sodas.

  “Small? Are you kidding? Coming from you, this is huge!” he teased. “I remember when you used to do stuff like this for me all the time,” he said softly. “It’s been a while.”

  “That’s because I used to like you back then,” Bri gave Cole a look before sitting down at the table next to him. She picked up his test and looked at it again. She didn’t really feel like getting down to math business, and so she decided to break her no- non-math-related-conversation rule. To be honest, she was tired of pushing Cole away.

  “Well, this ought to help your GPA,” she set the test back down. “So, where are you thinking about going to college?” She tried to sound casual, but the stunned look on Cole’s face told her he realized what she’d just done.