End of the Alphabet

by Fleur Beale

  ‘Yep,’ she said. ‘Perfect, wouldn’t you say?’

  A short, sweet romance. Trust Tia to have it all worked out. She said, ‘You should grab one. They go for blondes. Jenny reckons when she was there she got mobbed.’

  But I couldn’t think that far ahead. The big, scary interview was on Monday. And anyway, I just couldn’t believe that a hot Brazilian guy would want to talk to me.

  We chained up our bikes and cruised the shops.

  She picked out a top in the third place we went into. ‘Not that one!’ I took it away from her. ‘Babydoll styles aren’t for you, my friend. Stick to clothes that hug your figure.’

  She snatched it back. ‘It’s pretty.’

  ‘Not with you in it,’ I said. ‘It’s the wrong shape and the wrong colour. Try this.’ I handed her a red top. It had shoestring straps and would hug her figure.

  She hugged the baby-doll number. ‘Bossy cow! I love this. I’m having it.’ She marched up to the counter.

  I spoke to her back. ‘Any guy that sees you in that is going to say Ouch! and move on.’

  She whirled around, grabbed the red top and snarled, ‘All bloody right! I’ll try it on. Satisfied?’

  I laughed and waited. She slammed the door of the fitting room shut then, moments later, flung it open. She stood there with her hands on her hips. She looked sensational. Grumpy, but sensational. ‘Not bad,’ I said. ‘You might get noticed by — oh, fifty hot guys in that one.’

  She didn’t say anything, just slammed back into the changing room. She came out with both tops and headed for the counter without looking at me. I left her alone and flicked through a rack of skirts.

  When she came back she was smiling again. She didn’t say which top she’d bought. I didn’t ask.

  That afternoon, Carly rang to ask if I’d go over to her house for pizza and DVDs. Megan and Tia would be there. Mum gave me a hug. ‘Yes, of course you can.’

  It was good to get away. Max was in a cold rage. He didn’t talk to us. The only time he spent with the rest of us was at mealtimes. He tried taking his dinner into his room. Mum jumped on that pretty fast. She was big on family togetherness and the importance of eating at the table.

  In the morning, the boys woke me at seven. ‘Go away. Horrible, nasty gremlins,’ I moaned. They jumped on my bed and pulled the bedclothes off me.

  I really, really would like a room of my own.

  ‘Read us a story, Ruby!’ Theo shouted.

  ‘She can’t read,’ Davey said. ‘Play with us, Ruby. Play hide and seek.’

  I sat up. ‘Get out, kids. Leave me alone.’ I pointed at the door. ‘Go!’

  They gulped. Theo started crying. Too bad. I lay down and pulled the pillow over my head.

  I got up about ten. Max was still in bed. He emerged for lunch. He didn’t say a word. He kept his eyes on his food. When Mum asked him how he was, he curled his lip at her and didn’t answer.

  He was exactly like Mr Vine — charming when it suited him. He got up from the table.

  Calvin said, ‘Max, you and I are going out for the afternoon. We’re going fishing.’

  ‘Get stuffed,’ said Max.

  Mum roared at him. ‘Max Yarrow! I will not have you speaking like that. Or behaving like a spoilt baby. You are going with Calvin this afternoon. That’s it. No argument.’

  Wow. Max stared at her. He had the look on his face you’d get if a favourite teddy bear suddenly bit you.

  Calvin stood up. ‘We’ll be off. No, Davey, Theo — this is a Max afternoon.’

  They drove away. Theo cried and Davey threw a tantrum.

  Not the best Sunday ever.

  Calvin and Max stayed out till after six. Mum didn’t say anything, but she kept looking at the clock and digging worry lines into her face. They came back without any fish. Max still didn’t say anything, but it was a different sort of not saying anything. He disappeared into his room.

  Calvin gave Mum a nod and a smile. She ran to him and put her arms around him. He hugged her back. ‘We’ll see, Tessie. We’ll see. We had a good talk, but I don’t know how much he’ll take on board.’

  ‘I’ve spoilt him,’ she sobbed.

  Yes, she had, but that was not going to happen with the kids. I’d make sure of it.

  Before I went to bed, I said, ‘Mum, I’ll be back from work as soon as I can in the morning. I’ll get the kids up.’

  Good, helpful Ruby. Cunning Ruby.

  Five-thirty. It was much too early to be awake. I lay there trying to decide whether or not to get up. Brazil. I wanted to go to Brazil. I got up and went to work. I was three minutes late. Mr Vine scowled at me, but he didn’t say anything.

  I swept and mopped the floor in half the time it had taken the first day.

  ‘I’ll do the toilet now,’ I said when I’d finished. ‘Where is it?’

  He didn’t look up from the desk he was working at, just pointed to a door.

  I opened it, and took a step backwards, my hand over my mouth. That toilet stank. It reeked. It was rank. I switched on the light. The room was filthy. I’d need danger money to clean that.

  ‘Mr Vine, can I have gloves to do this please?’ I wondered if the stink would float out into the shop.

  ‘You want gloves — you pay for them,’ said my charming boss.

  Why was I doing this? I walked to the door into the shop. He looked up. ‘What’s the matter now? Get started, or you’ll be moaning that there’s not enough time to do it.’ He put on a girly, whining voice.

  Let him sack me, I didn’t care. ‘Mr Vine, you’re the one doing all the moaning.’ That made him glare at me. ‘That toilet is disgusting, and you know it. I’ll clean it, but you supply gloves and disinfectant. I won’t finish it today because it’s too dirty. Take it or leave it.’ I walked away.

  Behind me, I heard a slam and a thump. ‘All right, all right. You’ve made your point. You’re wasting time. The gloves are in aisle two.’

  I taped plastic bags onto my feet too. No way was I going to let my sandals make contact with that floor. I took a new cleaning cloth to tie over my nose and mouth.

  By the look on his face he wasn’t happy, but he kept his mouth shut.

  By seven o’clock I’d only cleaned the floor and the walls. Even that much made a big difference to the smell.

  He looked at his watch. ‘You started late, you finish late.’

  Well bugger you, mate. ‘I’ll take it off the time you kept me waiting for my pay on Friday. Please give me my money now.’

  He didn’t say anything, but perhaps that was because my truckie from Saturday came in. ‘How’s it going, lassie? Hey, what’s your name? Can’t go calling you lassie every day. You might turn into a dog!’ He grinned at me.

  ‘I’m Ruby Yarrow.’ I held out my hand. ‘Pleased to meet you.’

  He shook my hand. ‘Mick Williamson.’ He glanced at Mr Vine. ‘You’ve got your pay okay today, then?’

  I smiled at him. ‘He’s getting it for me now.’

  ‘Good, good,’ said Mick, rubbing his hands. ‘I’ll just wait till it’s in your hand and then I’ll be off.’

  Mr Vine handed it over without a word.

  Mick and I left the shop together. ‘You just can’t tell with people,’ he said. ‘Always had that guy tagged as a good bloke.’ He shook his head. ‘But he’s mean as shit.’

  I laughed all the way home.

  Chapter Eleven

  I got the boys up. They didn’t moan. They didn’t fight. They laughed. They got themselves dressed and made their beds.

  When I arrived in the kitchen, Mum looked cheerful for the first time since I started looking for my backbone.

  Max came in. He said good morning to Mum. He answered when Davey asked him if he liked fishing. (No.)

  I was still invisible. Fine with me. But I nearly fell over when he got up from the table — and took his dishes with him. My goodness! What had Calvin talked to him about?

  Mum and I stared at each other when he
left the room. I couldn’t help it. I giggled. That started her off. It was nice. It felt like Mum was treating me like an equal.

  Today was interview day. I hadn’t told Mum and Calvin about it. I think there was a place on the form where they had to sign. Too late now.

  Davey chatted all the way to school. Tia chatted all the way to school. When we were putting our bikes away, she said, ‘You’re jumpy this morning. Who is it — Marvellous Max or old Vinegar Vine?’

  I laughed. ‘It’s not them. It’s the interview. I’m really, really nervous.’

  ‘Hmm, well — good luck.’ She gave me a shove to get me moving. ‘I bet you’re the only one who’s already got a job.’

  That made me feel better. Megan was a worse mess of nerves than I was.

  ‘At least you get yours over with quickly,’ I grumbled. I should have taken Calvin’s name and then I would have been straight after Megan, but Ruby Diamond wasn’t the best combination ever.

  Wiremu wasn’t bothered. ‘If they don’t pick me, I’ll apply for one of those scholarship things that gives you a year in another country.’

  Maisie said, ‘I forgot all about it. We went water skiing in the weekend. I got onto one ski! How about that?’

  Did she even want to go to Brazil? I didn’t like to ask her.

  Tom slouched in his chair. ‘I don’t have to think about it till tomorrow.’ He yawned. ‘And tomorrow may never come.’ Another night playing video games by the look of him.

  Megan and I kept quiet.

  I couldn’t keep my mind on my work. I had a teacher aid in the mornings and she got fed up with me. ‘Ruby — you’re hopeless today!’

  ‘Sorry, Jan, sorry!’

  Megan came back halfway through social studies. ‘It wasn’t too bad,’ she whispered.

  That was good.

  I felt sick. I should have asked Mum to do my essay. Or Max. Calvin would have helped me.

  Two o’clock came. Half past. I left my class at 2.45 and waited outside the interview room.

  Amanda Trask came out, grinning. ‘That was fun!’

  The same sort of fun as slamming your finger in a door.

  They told me to come in. There were three people sitting behind a long desk.

  Ms Adams, the guidance counsellor, introduced the other two. I knew the woman. She was Mrs Swann, the deputy principal. The man was Mr Parks. He owned a vineyard. He had started the Brazilian exchange three years ago and his son had gone on the first trip.

  Mrs Swann held my form. ‘Now Ruby — we know you have learning problems, but this essay …’ she tapped the paper, ‘isn’t good. It looks to me like you couldn’t be bothered putting the effort in.’

  I hung my head and gripped my hands together on my lap. The tight, sick feeling slammed into my chest.

  ‘Well? Do you have anything to say?’ She sounded fed up. She was probably sick of interviewing.

  ‘Ruby?’ said Ms Adams. ‘This is your chance. Tell us about it.’

  I tried. ‘That took me two hours. I did it as well as I could.’

  Mr Parks had a kind voice. He read out what I’d written. I will be the same. Nobody will be able to read. He read it as if there were no mistakes, but I knew there must have been. ‘Tell us what you meant by that.’

  I couldn’t look up. ‘They don’t speak English in Brazil. All of us will feel dumb. Not just me.’

  Nobody said anything for ages, then Mr Parks cleared his throat. ‘I see. That’s a good point. Tell us why else we should pick you to go to Brazil.’ I couldn’t think of one other reason why they should pick me. I could only think of reasons why they wouldn’t. I whispered, ‘I just want to go.’ It sounded dumb. It was dumb. I couldn’t do a thing to fix it. There was a huge, hot band pulling my throat shut.

  Mrs Swann sighed. ‘Tell us about yourself. What are your hobbies?’

  My face burned. ‘I don’t have any.’ Tia should have applied. She had hobbies coming out her ears.

  ‘What do you do in your spare time?’ Mrs Swann sounded like she was talking to an idiot. I felt like an idiot.

  Mr Parks was kind. ‘Take your time, Ruby. Tell us about your spare time. You can do that.’

  He reminded me of Mick, the truckie. I managed to give him a tiny smile. ‘I don’t have much. I help Mum a lot. She works and I look after my little brothers.’

  He winked and mouthed at me, ‘Good girl.’

  I relaxed a bit.

  Ms Adams asked the next question. ‘What do you know about Brazil?’

  My heart thumped. Nothing. I knew nothing. ‘Um — it’s in South America.’

  ‘What language do they speak?’ Mrs Swann demanded.

  ‘I don’t know.’ This was worse than Mr Vine. Much, much worse.

  Mrs Swann leaned over the table and glared at me. ‘Ruby, don’t you think it would have been a good idea to read up about Brazil before this interview? Look it up on the computer?’

  I wanted to run. My face was hot. I kept my eyes on my fists clenched in my lap. ‘I can’t read well enough. And we haven’t got a computer.’

  Nice Mr Parks asked, ‘Did you do any preparation at all? Talk to people? Ask questions?’

  I just about said no, but I had done preparation. I lifted my head, but I looked only at him. ‘I got a job to earn the money. I clean a shop from six to seven in the mornings. That’s so I can still look after the boys for Mum.’

  ‘All right, Ruby,’ Ms Adams said. ‘Thank you. We’ll be letting everyone know on Wednesday who’s been chosen.’

  It wouldn’t be me. I left the room and slumped against the wall outside. What a mess I’d made of it.

  I didn’t go back to class. I got my bike and wheeled it to Davey’s school. I was early and he wanted to go on playing. I sat and watched him make roads in the sandpit. Cat was there too. She had a bulldozer and he had a tractor. She waved to me. ‘Hello, Ruby!’

  I smiled and waved back. It was soothing, sitting there in the sun and watching them play.

  Cat’s mum came after about ten minutes, then Davey and I walked home. He sang me a song they’d learned. ‘Sing it too, Ruby!’

  So for four blocks we yelled out to the world, telling everyone to be kind to their web-footed friends. I’d learnt the song when I was as old as Davey, and I remembered every single word. It cheered me up a bit.

  We got the dinner ready: kebabs. Davey shoved the sticks through the meat and vegetables. He had fun. I flicked his hair. ‘You’re a good bro, matey.’

  Max did the dishes after dinner. He sighed and his attitude said this sucks but he didn’t say it out loud. Calvin put a hand on his shoulder. ‘Good man.’

  I was glad I hadn’t told anyone about Brazil. I was glad Max hadn’t applied. They would have chosen him.

  When I went to bed, I picked up my phone to set the alarm. Then I put it down. I didn’t need the job. Not any more.

  I lay down. I wouldn’t go back. Mr Vine was horrible. I could do without him yelling at me every morning.

  Brazil. I turned over, grabbed my pillow and cried into it so nobody would hear. I should have thought about what they’d ask at the interview. I was so dumb. I wanted to go to Brazil. I should have made them see that. Now I’d never get there.

  That’s about when I stopped being a wobbly mess and started to think. I sat up. It’s easier to think when you’re sitting up. Who said I couldn’t still go to Brazil? Of course I could go. I just wouldn’t be able to go when the others went. I’d have to wait till I left school.

  I lay down again. I could do that. And while I waited, I could find out about it. Carly’s words zapped into my head: They don’t speak English. I shivered. It’d be scary, going somewhere like that by myself.

  ‘I’m going to do it. So there!’ I said it out loud.

  Theo muttered and turned over. I set the alarm.

  I was drifting off to sleep when an idea wafted across my mind. I could learn Brazilian. Was that what they called their language? I’d find out, and whatever
it was called, I’d learn it. Somehow.

  Chapter Twelve

  Mr Vine grunted when I arrived. I did the floors and sang another of Davey’s school songs. I chose Miss Molly and her sick, sick dolly. I hoped it would get in Mr Vine’s brain.

  He came stomping out from the back room. ‘Trust you to sing a baby’s song. Too dumb to know anything harder, are you?’

  I swished the broom at him. ‘That’s right.’ And I went on singing while I swept: the whole thing, three times. I sang different kids’ songs while I mopped. He didn’t like ‘Do Your Ears Hang Low’. He hated ‘Alice the Camel’ so I sang it over and over till I finished the mopping.

  I didn’t sing when I cleaned the toilet. It was better, but it still stank.

  He gave me my pay without a fuss. I met Mick on the footpath as I was leaving. ‘Any problems today, Ruby?’

  I grinned at him. ‘He didn’t like the songs I sang. But no — no problems today. Thanks again.’

  He wanted to know what the songs were. He gave a hoot of laughter when I told him, and went into the shop still chuckling.

  I rode home. I would bank my money this week. Yay for Ruby! I was on my way to Brazil.

  At home, I got the boys up. They went through the routine with no fuss. Wonderful Ruby.

  I sat at the table and ate my breakfast. Max was there already. His book was in front of him and he shovelled food into his mouth. ‘Max, can you pass me the milk, please.’

  He didn’t look up. ‘Get it yourself.’

  I snatched the book away. ‘You know what, Max Yarrow? You’re an arsehole. A stupid one.’

  ‘Mum!’ Theo shouted. ‘Ruby swore! She called Max an …’

  ‘That’ll do, Theo,’ Mum snapped. ‘Max, pass the milk. At once.’

  ‘I’ll get it for you, Ruby,’ Davey said. He slid off his chair, picked up the milk carton and handed it to me.

  ‘Thanks, buddy.’

  Mum said, ‘Max, you’re coming with me and Theo this morning. I’ve got things to say to you.’

  He did the reasonable act. ‘No, Mum — that would be counterproductive. You go the other way from school.’