The No Bad Boy Rule (Rule #2)

by Ashley Erin

  “Momma, can we see the bears first?” Noah grabs Dax and my hands as he drags us in the direction the picture of a bear is pointing. Grinning at Dax as he stares in wonderment where his hand joins with Noah’s, I swear I see a sheen to his eyes as he quickly looks down the path. This side of Dax is one that only a select few are privileged enough to see, most people only get to see a guarded version of who Dax truly is.

  Noah drops our hands as we arrive at the bear exhibit. Both grizzly bears are lumbering about, close enough that you can see their enormous size. As one stands on his hind legs, Noah grips the railing to stand on his toes to see them better.

  Dax bends and picks Noah up, setting him on his shoulders. Stepping into his side, I slide my fingers into his and squeeze.

  Standing there, watching the bears, it feels like we are already a family. The picture of what I had always dreamed of is no longer hazy. These are the moments in time that we often forget to cherish and as Dax squeezes my fingers almost as though he knows what I’m thinking.

  “Momma, are you and Mister Dax going to get married?” Noah’s question causes me to choke on an inhalation. Bent in half, I laugh at the irony of his timing.

  “Why do you ask?” Finally able to form words, I look sideways at Dax who is smirking as I deal with this question. I don’t want to lie to Noah, but I know we need to inform Joe before we tell him.

  “Ben at school has two dads and I thought it would be cool if I had two. Plus then when I’m with Daddy, you won’t be lonely.” My throat catches at his concern for me, Dax’s hand squeezes mine, grounding me.

  “You don’t have to be worried about me being lonely.” I fumble around my head trying to think of how to distract Noah from his initial question, thankful when the bears start playing and distract him from my lack of an answer.

  Glaring at Dax as he chuckles softly, he shows no shame as he teases the skin around my left ring finger.

  Moving on from the bears, we circle the entire park, stopping at each exhibit and watching the animals. Dax buys us all some caramel popcorn. The entire time we walk through the zoo, Noah stands between us, holding both of our hands.

  We spend the whole day at the zoo, revisiting our favorite animals and picnicking by the elephant so we can watch her bathe herself. This entire day will be imprinted in my head; the first day we’ve spent together knowing we will be a family. Knowing that these kinds of days, these adventures are just beginning. Some people wait their entire lives to start living, all I needed was Dax to show me I could do what’s best for Noah and still have a part of me that is more than a mom. A person independent in herself and capable of handling whatever comes.

  “Let me drive.” Dax holds his hand out for the keys to my car, and I gratefully drop them onto his palm. “I’ve been thinking about selling my motorcycle. Now that it’s spring, it should go fairly quickly. It’s not very practical when it’s my only vehicle, and I figure it’s time I start thinking ahead.”

  “Dax . . . You don’t need to do that. I know how much you love that bike.” Twisting in my seat, I face him square on.

  “Honestly, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. It sucks borrowing Andie’s vehicle in the winter. Besides, I can always buy a new, better bike down the road. It’s not forever, just for now, but keeping you and Noah safe, that’s forever.” He glances at me before focusing back on the road. “I hope that doesn’t eliminate my bad boy status though, I wouldn’t want you second guessing our relationship.”

  The muscles in his forearms ripple with tension as he grips the steering wheel. This is the only outward sign that he’s only half-joking. “I don’t think that’s possible. You will always have that vibe about you.”

  Shifting so I’m facing forward again, I watch the blur of the trees fly by. Eyes drifting closed, I smile when Dax folds my hand in his. Safe. He always makes me feel safe.

  The box feels heavy in my pocket; my hand obsessively checking to make sure it’s there. Knowing how I made the money in my savings, I only momentarily thought about using any of it for this purchase. Instead, I listed my motorcycle on the University’s buy/sell Facebook page. It sold that same day. Leading me to where I am now, laying in Ava’s room waiting for her to get home.

  Today, I made one of the most important purchases of my life. It should have been exhilarating, or at the very least held more excitement than it did. However, it was entirely uncomfortable. The saleswoman was obviously uneasy with me, and I hated being in that store. There were over five sales representatives, all dressed up in designer clothes, all looking at me with varying levels of disgust or nervousness. Watching every step until finally one woman lost the draw and had to help me.

  I would have walked out. I should have walked out, I almost did when I saw the ring. To me, it was perfect. A single oval diamond circled with delicate sapphires the color of my eyes.

  All the discomfort in the world was worth going through to find this ring. I just hope she feels the same way.

  I don’t have to wait long before I hear Ava come in the door. Faintly¸ I can hear her moving throughout the apartment. Abandoning her bags in the living room. Perusing the fridge in the kitchen. Every second that passes is torture.

  Finally, her footsteps echo as she walks down the short hall. She gasps as she sees me in her bed, hand clutching to her heart. “Holy crap. You gave me a heart attack.”

  “Not the first time someone has said that to me.” Smirking, I hold my arms open waiting for her to join me on her bed.

  “I thought you had to work today.” Her warmth presses against me, momentarily distracting me from the anxiety I’ve been fighting with.

  “They let us out early. Apparently the board of directors for the University is taking a tour of the renovations.” My hand folds over the small box in my pocket. Wavering over what to say, I give up trying to think of something and silently remove it from my back pocket.

  Ava’s eyes are closed, only opening them when I turn her hand over and set the box on her palm. Watching her nervously as she stares at the box, I resist the urge to snatch it away. I hate feeling vulnerable and out of everything we’ve gone through, this is in the top three vulnerable moments. To some, it’s just a ring. To me, it’s a symbol of what my life has become, the person I’ve become and it rests on the finger of the woman who made it possible, where it will stay for the rest of our lives.

  Her eyes move quickly between the box and me, before she silently closes her hand and draws it to her. She slowly sits up, every movement feels like it takes longer than it should. Holding my breath as she opens the box, my heart stops at her intake of breath.

  She just stares at it.

  Seconds tick by, no movement.

  “Dax . . . It’s . . . Perfect.” Her hand shakes as I remove the ring and slide it onto her left ring finger. Breathing out a sigh of relief as it slides on smoothly.

  “I know we’re not announcing anything yet, but I couldn’t wait to give it to you.” She turns her hand back and forth, looking at the ring on her finger.

  “Maybe we can tell Lucas and Andie. It’s been torture keeping it from them.” Almost as though they heard Ava say their names, the door to the apartment opens carrying their voices down the hall.

  We join them in the living room, Ava bouncing excitedly.

  “What’s going on?” Lucas looks between us humorously, jaw dropping when Ava thrusts her hand out, the ring on full display.

  I’ve only heard Andie squeal a handful of times, but the noise coming out of her as she rushes Ava has me eyeing the window for cracks. “That noise is going to shatter the window. I’m pretty sure I hear dogs howling outside. Are you excited, Nugget, or summoning the wolves?”

  “Shut up. Oh, my freaking . . . When?” Andie inspects the ring before hugging Ava tightly. “Nicely done Dax.” She moves to me, hugging me forcefully.

  Lucas is slower to stand, and I straighten as he approaches. It never crossed my mind that he might think it’s too
fast or disapprove. Shit, I didn’t even ask Ava’s dad for his blessing. The excitement of the moment fades as I dwell on my fuck up. My mind slowly processes the smile on Lucas’s face as he hugs Ava before clapping me on the shoulder.

  “From making out in the hall to being engaged in a matter of months, I can’t say you guys are traditional.” He winks at me, and I finally relax.

  “It is fast, but it feels right. You are the only two that know, please wait until we announce it after finals.” Ava tucks herself back into my side. “We don’t have a date and most likely we will wait until at least one of us is done with school.”

  Andie chatters excitedly about how that gives us more time to plan the wedding. I gape at her even more as she pulls Ava into the kitchen. She’s changed so completely, in all the ways I hoped she would as she started to truly deal with her issues and I realize that I’ve done the same thing.

  Lucas chuckles as he pushes me towards the kitchen. “I just heard the words ‘destination wedding’ you may want to get in there.”

  Hurrying into the kitchen, I laugh as Andie blushes guiltily. “It’s just a suggestion.”

  “Why don’t we get through finals and then you can figure out ways to spend money we don’t have.” Elbowing her in the side, I sink into a chair.

  “Bullshit. I know you have a savings account full. Enough to replace your bike and pay for a nice ceremony.” Andie smiles triumphantly.

  “That money is tainted. Besides, that’s how I’m paying for school.” Ava and Lucas watch us curiously. Sighing, I explain. “I received a percentage of whatever money I recovered for Ivan. Since my expenses have always been small, until starting school, I put most of it away. Part of me always felt guilty for having it. I’m not proud of the way I got it.”

  Lucas looks confused as I speak, but Ava’s expression is understanding.

  “We have time. I’m not in a hurry.”

  The four of us sit at the table, talking about how much has changed over the past year. The train finally feels like it’s moving the right direction down the tracks. Looking towards Andie, we smile at each other. Genuine, at peace smiles. A cycle we both dreaded is finally splintering into a million possible directions.

  Unable to bear the thought of taking my ring off, I switch it to the other finger. After telling Lucas and Andie, keeping it a secret no longer seems as important as it did a week ago, but every day I switch my ring to my right hand.

  My first final is in twenty minutes, and I’m already sitting in the empty classroom pouring over my notes. Slowly the room fills, Dean appearing right as the exams are being handed out.

  He’s a mess.

  “I was at the hospital all night. The treatments have been making Danny really sick and I wanted to be there for him.” He fumbles around for a pen, groaning as he comes up empty handed.

  “Here.” Handing him my extra pen, I rest my hand on his forearm. “I’m sorry about Danny. Maybe once finals are done, we can visit him and have a game night. Take his mind off what he’s going through.”

  Dean gives me a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. A test lands on the desk in front of me, stealing my attention. I wish we were anywhere but here. Dean may not be the one going through chemotherapy, but he needs support too. Shame fills me as I realize I’ve been so caught up in Dax that I haven’t even really checked in on Dean since the picnic. The only thing that brings me comfort is knowing how involved and supportive his family is. Maybe that’s all he needs is to be surrounded by them, regardless of how sad the circumstances are.

  That thought easing my guilt, I immerse myself in my final. My first semester of university is coming to a close. People always say you change during university, I just never expected so much so fast.

  Handing in my exam, I decide to hit the library for some quiet study time. Finding a quiet corner, I sit on the floor and surround myself with my notes. My next final is in Art History, and while I know most of the techniques they discuss, some of the actual artwork tends to slip from my brain.

  “Psst. Ava.” Suppressing a groan, I look up as Kensi folds herself up into my tiny corner. So much for studying.

  “Hey. Don’t you have an exam right now?”

  “I’m done.”

  Looking at the time on my phone, I gape at her. “You finished in under thirty minutes. How is that possible?”

  “I have a strict policy with exams. I always do best when I work through them as quickly as possible. That means I don’t have time to question myself.” Kensi has always seemed rash; everything she does has instant gratification in mind.

  “Whatever works for you.” Stacking my notes, I lean into the corner. Out of all the girls, I’m the least close with Kensi. I’m not surprised she came to say hi, but I am surprised she is lingering this long.

  She fills the silence with whispers of parties she has heard about and her plans for the summer. Apparently, her parents are forcing her to spend the summer on Vancouver Island with them. “It’s not that I mind going, I know this is their way of guaranteeing they see me before I disappear during the new school year again, I just will miss you guys.”

  Thinking about my first summer with Dax, I feel the smile creep up on my face. “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you being kidnapped for three months, I’m just thinking about Dax.” Unconsciously my fingers play with my ring. Kensi’s sharp eyes notice the movement, her hand darting out to grab my right hand.

  “Holy shit! And you didn’t tell us?”

  “We wanted to wait until after finals.” Smiling as I gently remove my hand from her grasp, I answer the string of questions she fires at me. No sense in trying to keep anything from her, she is relentless when she wants something.

  What feels like hours later, she leaves me back to my studying, and I know it’s only a matter of minutes before everyone else in the group knows about the engagement. Flipping through my notes, I sigh happily as I set my alarm for when Dax gets off work.

  Covered in paint, I finally walk into my apartment and beeline it straight to the bathroom. It feels incredible to wash away the sweat and dust. The construction manager asked if I would be interested in learning how to drywall. It pays an extra few bucks an hour, but I always leave covered in a layer of drywall dust. The water finally starts to run clear, and I turn the tap off.

  Despite picking up close to thirty hours of work this week, I’ve written two of my five finals and don’t feel like I’m drowning. I think it would be impossible not to be optimistic, every time I look at Ava my world is complete.

  Toweling off, I toss my dirty clothes into the hamper and quickly throw on the first clothes I find in my drawer, regretting that decision as I realize the jeans have a hole in the crotch and the t-shirt is actually Andie’s.

  Starting over, I finally feel like a normal person.

  Grinning when I hear the door to the apartment open, I go to join Ava in the living room.

  Turning the corner, I pause stunned before the rage fills me. Peyton sits on the couch, quietly sobbing, while Ivan and Tom sit on either side of her. Tom’s arm rests over her shoulders and I see red. “Remove your arm before I remove it from your body.”

  Tom’s face whitens, he was always a pussy, and his arm falls limply to his side.

  “Now now, Dax. No need for hostility.” Ivan’s voice is placating, having the opposite effect of what he’s hoping for.

  “What the hell are you doing here? Peyton, are you okay?” She shakes her head, fresh tears rolling down her face as her breathing accelerates to near hyperventilation.

  “Breathe Peyton. This can all be fixed, as long as Dax is willing to help.”

  My jaw hurts from clenching it so hard, and I have to focus on unlocking it. “I ask again, what the hell are you doing here? What is going on?”

  Peyton stands, her voice trembling. “It’s Bear. Manny has him.”

  Peyton’s brother Bear is two years older than I am, the one who Peyton followed into gang life and the closest member of
her family. Understanding why Ivan and Tom are here dawns on me. “You want me to get him.”

  “Manny likes you, we’re willing to pay the price, but he won’t let any of us close.” Pacing the room, my mind reels. The chances that Ivan is full of shit are high, but the risk if he’s being forthright isn’t one I’m sure I want to take. Peyton’s eyes plead with me, Ivan and Tom promise it’s a quick job and then they will leave me to my boring, menial life. Nodding, I quickly jog back to my room to grab my wallet and cell phone.

  When I get back to the living room, Ava is standing there frozen and wide eyed. “Dax?”

  Her voice is soft as she asks the question she can’t put words to.

  “We’ve just met your lovely girlfriend. While I regret we don’t have more time for pleasantries, we need to hurry, our window is only so wide. Shall we?” His tone is pleasant, but I can see the joy behind watching me trying to stay afloat.

  Dismissing Ivan, I ignore his smirk as he and Tom vacate the room. Peyton waits anxiously by the door, all thoughts on Bear and not about the look on Ava’s face.

  Realization.

  “You’re leaving. To go with them.” Her words are sharp, causing me to cringe, which just affirms what she’s already been told.

  “Peyton’s brother Bear is in some trouble, and I can help.” I try to convey the importance of why I’m making this decision to here, my words pleading her to understand.

  Her face closes off, disappointment the only emotion she’s letting me see. “You promised. You told me when we were sitting in the car that you were done with that part of your life. That you had no interest in EVER going back. When you proposed to me, and we lay there talking until the early hours of the morning; all that talk about priorities. Was it all bullshit?”

  “I’m not going back for good, I’m just going back to help Bear.” Stepping towards her, I freeze when she steps away from me. “I know where my priorities lie, Ava. If I thought there was another way, I wouldn’t be going.”