Mother For His Children, A

by Drexler, Jan

  “I will marry you, Levi, if you accept my terms.”

  Her terms. He scratched his beard. She wouldn’t choose to live in the Dawdi Haus if she thought she could ever love him. Could he take this step into marriage with her on the chance she might change her mind later?

  He watched her lean over the fence, coaxing Buttercup to come nearer. He wanted to break down this wall she had put up between them, to be able to tell her how he felt. Would that barrier break down with time? As they lived and worked together for the rest of their lives?

  Combing his fingers through his beard, he knew the decision had already been made. He had to take that chance.

  “Ja, Ruth, we will marry on your terms. I’ll go to talk to Bishop about it this afternoon, and we can tell the children tonight, after supper.”

  She nodded once, then turned and left him standing in the cowshed.

  * * *

  “You’re what?” Elias’s words burst from him.

  Ruthy ducked her head at his shout. Of all the children, Elias had been resenting her presence the most, and now the news of the upcoming wedding brought that resentment into the open with a vengeance.

  “Elias, calm down.” Levi’s voice was firm, but quiet as he faced his oldest son.

  Ruthy glanced at the other children, all of them staring at their brother. Levi’s news had brought smiles and exclamations from all of them—except Elias and Nathan. She watched Levi as Elias dropped his gaze, his dark face stormy and defiant.

  “You can’t marry her, Dat. She has no right to be here in the first place, and now...”

  Ruthy’s heart wrenched as Elias looked from face to face around the table. So much a man, and yet a boy. Why did he resent her so much?

  “Elias, you may not speak in such a way about Ruth.”

  Elias stood again, his face twisted in an effort to make his point. “She doesn’t belong here, Dat. Mam is your wife, not her.”

  With that, Elias pushed past Levi to the door, banging it behind him as he went out into the night. Nathan stood to follow, but Levi stopped him with a motion.

  “Let him be, son. Give him some time, and then I’ll talk to him.”

  Nathan sank back onto the bench, but turned to watch Elias’s flight to the barn through the window. The other children sat in silence.

  Levi looked at Ruthy down the length of the table, his eyes reflecting the helplessness she felt. What if Elias never accepted her?

  “We’ll let Elias sort out his feelings. I’m sure he’ll calm down.”

  “Ja, you’re right.” But Ruthy knew how strongly a sixteen-year-old could hold on to his resentment. Elias may never forgive her for intruding in their family.

  Levi put a smile on his face and reached over to pat Waneta’s shoulder. “How about the rest of you? What do you think about Ruth living here with us always?”

  “I think it’s wonderful-gut.” Waneta took her daed’s hand and gave Ruthy a smile that eased the sting of Elias’s rejection.

  “Me, too, Dat,” said Martha, her eyes glowing. “It will be wonderful-gut to add to the family. It’s been so long since a baby came to live with us.”

  Ruthy felt her face grow hot and she took a drink to cover her reaction to Martha’s words. Of course the children would expect a baby. How could she tell them not to?

  “Martha, don’t you think we’ve had enough babies in this family?” James’s voice was filled with disgust as he regarded his sister across the table.

  Ruthy smiled. Eleven-year-old boys wouldn’t look forward to a new baby the way their sisters would.

  “We don’t need to worry about babies right now.” Levi stopped any arguments before they started. “The wedding won’t be for several weeks. Bishop suggested we have the ceremony on the last Tuesday of the month, so we have plenty of time to adjust to the idea.”

  Waneta turned to Ruthy. “Will your mam and dat be able to come?”

  Ruthy smiled at the thought of seeing them again. “I hope so. I’ll be writing to them tonight to tell them about it.”

  Jesse stuck his fork into his cherry pie. “You can marry Ruthy, Dat, as long as she makes pie for us.”

  Even Nathan laughed at this.

  “Wedding or not, it’s time to get dishes done and homework started.” Ruthy stood and started gathering the plates from her end of the table.

  “Ruthy.” Sam grasped her sleeve and tugged her down to his level. “When can I call you Mam?”

  Sam had whispered his question, but the others had heard him and waited for her answer. Ruthy looked at Levi, but his eyes were on the spoon he had stuck in his coffee cup. Waneta’s eyes were wet, and she dabbed at them with her handkerchief.

  Ruthy held the little boy close and looked in his face. “As soon as Bishop says we’re married, then you can call me Mam.”

  She was rewarded with a pair of arms thrown around her neck and a sticky kiss on her cheek. Her eyes stung as she held him tighter. She may never have a boppli of her own, but God had given her these children to love. Ach, what a blessing!

  * * *

  As Ruth settled the children at the cleared table to do their homework, Levi followed Elias out to the barn. He was a good boy, growing into a fine young man. Some fathers had trouble with rebellious young people, but Elias had never gone against anything Levi had said or wanted—until now.

  Levi found his son in the box stall with Champ, the new driving horse. The three-year-old was spirited, but was making progress in his training. Elias had done much of the work with him under Levi’s direction, and the horse responded well to the boy.

  Not the boy—the man. Elias was young, but a man in most ways. He would soon be taking baptism classes and courting some young woman. Did he have his eye on a particular one yet? But before any of that happened, Levi had to get to the root of this outburst against Ruth.

  Elias glanced at him as he leaned on the side of the stall, but kept on with his grooming.

  “How is Champ doing with his kicking?”

  “He still hates to have his feet handled.” Elias picked up the horse’s front hoof, patted the bottom and then set it back on the floor of the stall. “But I do this a couple times a day, and he seems to be getting used to it.”

  The horse turned his ears back when Elias moved to a rear foot, but didn’t kick.

  “Where did you learn that?”

  Elias straightened and ran his hand along Champ’s back. “I don’t know. I just thought of it, I guess.”

  “You have a way with horses, son. It’s a gift.”

  Elias moved to Champ’s head and straightened the forelock as the horse nudged his pocket. “Ja, Champ, there’s a carrot in there.” He pulled a chunk of carrot out of his coat pocket and gave it to the horse.

  If only he could be as understanding with Ruth.

  “Champ has come a long way since we first bought him last fall.” Levi moved into the stall on Champ’s other side.

  “Ja, he has.” Elias patted the horse’s cheek. “He was a pistol at first, wasn’t he, Dat?”

  “A big surprise after Maddie.”

  Elias turned to Levi. “Maddie just wore out. She was a good horse.”

  “Ja, she was.”

  “You can’t expect Champ to take her place so easily.” Elias moved quickly to defend his horse. “He’s young and green, but he’s learning quickly. By spring he’ll be as good a driving horse as Maddie, for sure.”

  “But he’ll never be another Maddie.”

  Elias snorted. “I wouldn’t expect him to. No two horses are alike.”

  “No two wives are alike, either, Elias.”

  Elias froze and Levi waited, letting his words sink in. Elias picked up the curry comb with a jerky movement and started in on his grooming. “She’ll never be my ma
m.”

  Levi sighed and kicked at the straw littering the floor. “Ne, son, she’ll never be your mam. You don’t need a mam so much anymore, almost grown as you are. But the little ones need her.”

  Elias leaned his arms on the horse’s back and stared at Levi. “What about you? Do you need another wife?”

  Levi’s memory filled with the feel of Ruth in his arms. Not just another wife. He needed her.

  “I do, Elias. God didn’t make man to live alone. He made us to be yoked with a companion, a wife.”

  “You have me, Dat, and Waneta and the others. Why do you need her, too?”

  Levi gestured to the other stalls surrounding them. “We have Badger and Drift, Pokey and the others. Why did we need to buy Champ?”

  “That’s different. Badger and Drift and the others are draft horses, and Pokey’s just a children’s pony. None of them could be a driving horse like Champ.”

  “It isn’t that much different. The horses all have their roles to fill. Waneta has been trying to fill your mam’s role for too long, but we all need someone older, more suited for the task. God has sent us Ruth.”

  Elias leaned his forehead against the horse’s back. “I think I see what you mean.”

  “Elias, have you forgotten Maddie, even though she’s gone and we have Champ instead?”

  “I’ll never forget Maddie.”

  “You’ll never forget your mam, son, whether I marry Ruth or not, and neither will I.”

  Elias raised his head, his eyes wet, but the face looking at Levi was a man’s face. “I’m sorry, Dat. I’ll tell Ruth I’m sorry, too. If you think she’ll make a good wife for you, and a good mam for the little ones, that’s good enough for me.”

  “Denki, son.” Levi’s voice came out rough and he cleared his throat. “Someday you’ll understand better, I hope.”

  “I think I already understand why you want a new wife.”

  “You do?”

  Elias grinned at him and went back to currying Champ. “Because I know how much I like Ruby Zigler.”

  Levi grinned back. Elias only had the slightest idea of the joys marriage could bring.

  * * *

  Ruthy set the sponge for tomorrow’s bread as the scholars worked at the table, the only sound coming from the turning of a page or the scratch of a pencil on paper.

  She would have never thought a house could be this peaceful with so many children. Salome must have been a wonderful-gut wife and mother.

  And Levi was a wonderful-gut father.

  As she went through the evening routine of redding up the kitchen for morning, Ruthy felt a new sense of ownership. This was to be her stove, her mixing bowls, her wooden spoons.

  Ne, she would get new ones and keep these back to send on with the girls as they married and set up housekeeping. Each should have something of their mam’s to take with them, just as she had the few kitchen things her mam saved for her.

  Her busy hands slowed as she wiped the counter for the final time. Who would she pass those things on to when the time came? Without a true marriage to Levi, she would never have her own daughters.

  She rinsed the rags a final time, and with her work done, she sat in the small rocking chair and picked up her knitting. Before long, Levi would return to the house, the scholars would be done with their studies and it would be time for evening prayers. She would need to continue to step carefully around Elias’s feelings, but the other children were anxious to welcome her into the family. Other than that one cloud, she could look forward to years of joy in this home.

  Ruthy concentrated on the pattern of stitches to turn the heel of the stocking. Ne, there was more than one cloud on the horizon. With only friendship between them, would Levi grow tired of her? Once the children grew up, would her companionship be enough to make their marriage last? Or would they end up as two strangers sharing a house?

  The stocking’s heel turned under her needles, smooth and perfect. That’s how things turned out when you followed a pattern. Whoever wrote the pattern had a plan in mind, and if you followed the pattern, the end result was perfect, every time.

  God’s plan for marriage was perfect, wasn’t it? Ruthy pushed away the fly buzzing in her thoughts. There were plenty of examples of marriages in the Bible where the two people didn’t even know each other, and they had good marriages, didn’t they?

  She and Levi were friends, they liked each other, they knew they worked well together...wasn’t that enough?

  It had to be enough.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “It looks like we’re going to have good weather the next few days.” Levi’s words carried over the clatter of breakfast dishes being cleared and feet pounding on the stairs as the children hurried to finish getting ready for school.

  “Ja?” Ruthy stacked bowls and gathered spoons into an empty serving dish. He stood at the window next to the kitchen table, adjusting his suspenders as he peered at the lightening sky. She paused to watch him, taking just a little longer than necessary. His brown hair held tints of red in the morning light, and she had never noticed what a well-shaped nose he had....

  He turned around so suddenly he almost caught her staring. “I think we need to visit Eliza today. It’s a good day for the drive, and we can stop at the store in Middlebury to pick up the replacement parts for the cream separator and other things you’ve been needing.”

  “I’ll make sure the children are ready.” Ruthy started stacking plates. Levi was right, they would have to tell Eliza about the wedding sooner or later, and the sooner the better, before she heard the news from someone else.

  “The children can stay here.” Levi stacked the plates on his side of the table and passed them across to her. “The scholars will be at school, and Waneta and Elias can look out for the farm and Sam. You tell Waneta and I’ll hitch up Champ. We’ll leave right after the school bus comes.”

  Ruthy took the plates to the sink where Waneta was getting the dishpan ready. “I’ll go braid the girls, and then I’ll be down to help with the dishes as quick as I can. Your dat wants to visit Aunt Eliza today.” She laughed at the stricken look on Waneta’s face. “Just the two of us—you, Elias and Sam can stay here.”

  “Ach, es gut....” Waneta went back to drawing water from the reservoir. “Not that I wouldn’t be happy to visit Aunt Eliza...”

  Ruthy gave her a quick hug. “Ja, I know. It might become an uncomfortable visit once your dat tells her about the wedding. You’ll be all right on your own here? You don’t need me to stay behind and let your dat go by himself?”

  Waneta laughed. “You’re not trying to get out of going, are you? We’ll be fine here for a day.”

  By the time the dishes were finished and Ruthy had put on her thick stockings and warmest flannel petticoat, Levi was waiting for her with the buggy. As she climbed in he made sure the warming pan was next to her feet and laid a clean horse blanket over her lap.

  “It isn’t as cold today as it’s been, but it will take us a couple hours to drive to Eliza’s.”

  “This is fine. Denki.”

  Levi drove down the long farm lane and turned north on the county road.

  “We won’t be able to court the way young folks do, but we should try to get to know one another better before the wedding.”

  Ruthy glanced at him. He looked as nervous as a young man driving a girl home from his first Singing.

  “You’re right. This is a good time to learn to know each other better. You can start. Tell me about your family. Is Eliza your oldest sister?”

  Levi talked about his six sisters and how he had been a surprise addition to the family when his mother was in her forties. “Dat had given up on ever having a boy, and then I came along. Eliza was already married, and Dat had considered giving the farm to Eugene, her husband, but he didn�
�t want to.”

  “Why not?”

  “The folks over in Middlebury have always been a bit freer with their Ordnung than we are here in Eden Township. Eugene had some pretty liberal ideas about things like using tractors for farming instead of horses, but then changed his mind. He knew if he went too far afield, Dat would never give him the farm. But then he died young, leaving Eliza a widow. By that time, I had come along and the problem was solved.”

  “How much older is Eliza than you?”

  “She was twenty-five when I was born, and Eugene died just a couple years later. They never had children.”

  “And she never remarried?”

  Levi gave a short laugh. “Ne, not Eliza. She’s always been a bit too independent.”

  “And your other sisters?”

  “They’re all married and have families. Three of them live in the Shipshewana district, one moved to Iowa with her husband about twenty years ago, and you’ve met my youngest sister. She’s Nellie Graber, Mose Graber’s wife.”

  “Ja, I remember meeting her.”

  Levi had turned west while they talked, and now pulled Champ to a stop at the state highway while a truck lumbered by.

  “I’m afraid Eliza gave you a pretty hard time the last time you saw her.”

  Ruthy shook her head. “Ne, not too bad.”

  “You stood up to her. She likes that.”

  The truck passed and Levi hurried Champ across the road. Ruthy snuggled closer into her shawl, wishing Champ would go a little slower. Levi and Waneta were both right. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing Eliza again, but when she married Levi, they would be sisters-in-law. They didn’t have to be friends, but they needed to come to some kind of understanding.

  “What do you think she’ll say when you tell her about the wedding?”

  Levi reached over and covered her mittened hands with his big leather glove. “I don’t know. I hope she’ll be happy for us, but she can be awfully stubborn at times.”