ArousingMemories

by Samantha Cayto

  Sev shook his head and then nodded it, his own cock growing in anticipation. “I don’t mind, and yes, it’s the adrenaline.” Shutting off the water Sev stood under, he added, “You did great out there and underneath the high of the excitement, you must be tired. You shouldn’t have to do that yourself.” Sev sauntered over to the other man, keeping his eyes on the hard, uncut length Noah still gripped in his hand. They were well matched, Sev thought, in size and arousal, the only real difference being that Sev was circumcised.

  He entered the stream of water with Noah, and backed the other man against the slick tile wall, dislodging Noah’s grip on his cock. Sev took hold of the smooth shaft. It jerked at the touch. He brought his face close and spoke in a low, hoarse tone. “Just so you know, I don’t intend to stop at a hand job, boy. I intend to fuck you.”

  “I’m not a boy, and being fucked by you was my plan all along.” So saying, Noah closed his eyes and surrendered to Sev.

  Sev could tell the guy expected to be kissed and worked into a climax. Because Sev liked to be the alpha male—hell, needed to be the alpha male—he did what he had wanted to do from the very moment he set eyes on the pretty boy. Dropping Noah’s cock, he spun the other man around to face the wall. Noah grunted in surprise but otherwise acquiesced.

  Sev turned off Noah’s water before placing both hands on Noah’s tight, perfect ass, squeezing and kneading the smooth flesh in appreciation. He wanted to savor the moment, make it last, but he hadn’t been bullshitting about the adrenaline. Coming off an op, he was too aroused to take it slow. He released the man’s ass and pumped liquid soap into his hand. He coated his hard-on, making himself slick. Given their extensive medical exams, condoms were blessedly unnecessary. He returned to the object of his desire and clasped the cheeks once more. This time he pulled them apart enough to slip his cock between them. Stilling his movements, he placed his mouth by Noah’s ear. “Are you a virgin?”

  “Hell, no,” was the amused reply.

  “All I needed.” Sev pushed forward, slowly and carefully, pressing his cock against the other man’s puckered hole and entering the tight place with care. Or at least he tried to be careful. The moment he entered the welcoming heat and heard Noah’s moan of pleasure, Sev lost control. He pumped hard and fast. With each thrust he embedded himself deeper, pushed his lover against the shower’s wet walls. The climax hit him like a proverbial freight train. He barely had time to reach around and grasp Noah’s cock, bringing the guy over the edge with him. They both yelled with their release, two voices echoing each other’s pleasure. Sev worked Noah’s ass and cock until both men collapsed in a heap on the tile floor, a tangle of arms and legs and labored breaths.

  And when they were calmer, blood no longer racing through their bodies, Sev leaned over and kissed the younger man, long and slow and sweet.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Remembering the first time and all the rest that followed caused Severin to lean against the wall and groan. His cock was hard against the fly of his jeans again, painful and demanding. He pressed the heel of his hand against the bulge and pictured Noah lying on a bed, welcoming him inside. Then the picture changed and it wasn’t Noah but Haley who looked up at him with desire. The images of two sets of eyes, one green, one brown, morphed from one to the other. Two sets of arms lifted up, beckoned him. Both were strong and muscular, one more so, one softer and more comforting. And there were two kinds of heat he buried his cock into, two kinds of grips milking him to climax. Different, yet each one perfect in its own way. He wanted them both, he wanted them now.

  “Shit!” Severin swore and pressed the heels of both palms against his eyes instead of his cock. Still leaning, he took deep breaths and forced himself to the here and now. Apparently Haley wasn’t the only one too tired to think clearly. He made his body stop ruling his head. He was a man who prided himself on control. These thoughts were way out of it.

  He had a job to do and it started with walking into that room and seeing if there was something he could do to help the mission. Maybe it meant touching Noah in all the ways he wanted to. He had no doubt sexual touch was what Haley planned. But he also knew that while the world had changed in many ways, it was still harder for two men to be involved than a man and a woman. An amnesiac might be happy to accept a woman’s advances, but not necessarily a man’s. He and Noah hadn’t really talked about their relationship. Hell, talking was what women did. Men were more likely to simply fuck for a while. If it led to a lasting relationship, yeah, maybe talking would occur. They hadn’t gotten that far, maybe never would have. So Sev didn’t know if Noah was as comfortable as he with being bisexual or one of those guys who insisted he was straight, but would be gay for the “right” man. He hadn’t been Noah’s first, that was all he knew, and it wasn’t enough.

  So he’d play it safe, keep the banter with Noah light until he got a better sense of how the other man viewed him. For certain, there would be no replay of his most recent fantasies. There was no way he and Haley and Noah were going to wrestle around on the sheets together. That would be a disaster even if Haley was willing, which he knew she would not be. She hated him even if she still desired him. He couldn’t blame her. He’d made a hash of things and there was no going back. There was no taking back the rotten and unfair things he’d said to her even though they were born more from his own fear than anything else. Far better for him to concentrate on the mission, to picture the possible devastation if they weren’t able to stop these murderous sons of bitches. Yeah, that did it. Thinking about dead innocents definitely killed his desire.

  With his body under better control, Sev took a deep breath and knocked.

  He heard the knock on the door, but before he could respond, it swung open and a tall, muscular man walked in. For an instant, a frustrating one, he thought he recognized the other man then the thought was gone. Instead he saw yet another stranger, one who watched him with a mixture of hope and concern. Once more he felt a failure. Why the hell couldn’t he remember? Sitting up straighter in his bed, he tamped down the growing panic and forced himself to act as normal as he could, whatever normal was.

  “Come in,” he said, although it was a moot point because the other man was already in the bedroom and closing the door quietly behind him. Everything about the guy screamed authority and as it had with the woman, Haley. Something inside him said he needed to pay attention to this person. And as with Haley, his body, weak as it was, reacted to the sight of this man with warmth, and desire? His cock, lying naked beneath the sheet, strained to come to life. Was it possible he was attracted to this guy? Was it possible he was involved with him? His body had reacted awfully fast.

  There was no way for him to know. No one was telling him much of anything except his name. Noah. Noah Turner. He wasn’t sure he even liked the name, although he had to get used to thinking of himself as such. For damn sure he didn’t know how he felt about being attracted or involved with anyone, let alone two people. And a woman and a man? What the fuck! The information that managed to stick in his brain told him this was weird. Or, maybe his brain was so fried he was thinking and feeling things that didn’t really exist.

  Something in his expression must have conveyed his thoughts because the other man stopped by the end of the bed and cleared his throat. “Is this a bad time?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t think there’s such a thing as a good time under the circumstances.” Man, did he sound pathetic. Whoever he was, whatever he was, he didn’t like being an object of pity. Before his visitor could reply, he amended his response. “Actually it’s a great time. I’m bored shitless lying here. I appreciate the company, especially from someone who isn’t going to stick something into me. You aren’t here to stick something into me, are you?” he added belatedly.

  It was meant to be amusing, but the look on the other guy’s face told him he had said something decidedly unfunny. The man’s eyes flashed open, and his large hands gripped the footboard. For a couple of seconds, their gazes locked.
Heat and intensity crossed the few feet that separated them. His cock stirred enough to make him raise a leg to hide what was happening. He thought the other man was going to say something.

  The moment passed. Releasing the footboard, the guy walked around to the side of the bed, his hands jammed inside his jeans front pockets. Hiding his own erection? No, Noah’s injured brain had to be playing tricks on him.

  “I’m not a doctor or a nurse,” his visitor said, the voice deep and powerful. “I’m Severin Blake. I’m a friend.” The last bit was added with some hesitation.

  Was it a lie? How could he know? He didn’t know squat. It was frustrating, although somewhere deep inside, he knew this man was telling the truth. He was a friend. Noah’s friend. It was important to remember his own name. This other man had an odd name, though. “Severin Blake or Blake Severin?” he couldn’t resist asking.

  Smiling at the question, the man grabbed a chair and sat a couple of feet from the bed. His long, muscular legs stretched out before him. The tight jeans and formfitting t-shirt showed off his well-toned physique. Again, something stirred deep within. He liked looking at this man, but he had liked looking at Haley, too. Maybe he was a brain-injured nymphomaniac. If he regained his memories, it might turn out he looked at everyone as a sexual conquest. If he got his memories back. No, when he got them back. He had to hold on to hope or he might break down and cry, and he didn’t want to do that in front of anyone, let alone this man.

  “Severin is my mother’s family name. Just my luck my father’s family name sounds like a first name. I’ve been correcting people and forms my whole life. I’ve always been a little envious of people like you. Noah Turner. Everyone knows how your name goes, no problem.”

  Except it was a problem for Noah because he couldn’t remember. It was a fresh stab to his heart, this simple observation, and damn it, the tears pricked at the back of his eyes after all. He had to look away, his gaze unfocused as he tried to get himself under control.

  “Hey,” Severin called out gently. “It’s going to be okay. Give yourself some time. You’ll get back your memories.”

  Noah looked at him. “Will I? How can you be so sure?”

  Severin shrugged. “I’m an optimist.”

  Something told him it wasn’t really true. “I don’t think so,” Noah replied with a slow shake of his head. It still hurt like a bitch as did the rest of his body, reminding him he had been in some kind of accident. Haley had told him as much. That was all, though. No one wanted to explain everything. There was some big mystery to all this. To his damaged mind, his bedroom looked like a hotel room tricked out with hospital equipment. With the curtains drawn shut, he couldn’t even see the building’s location. He was isolated, adrift, lost in every possible way. It was lonely and frightening. Maybe Severin would tell him something that would help. Even though there was no clear thought in his head as to why, he knew he trusted the man.

  “What the hell happened to me? I mean I’ve been told I was in an accident, but not the specifics. Who and what am I that I would be in this strange place anyway?”

  Noah watched Severin wage some internal battle before answering. “What the fuck? No one told me you can’t know the truth, so here it is. Maybe knowing will help you fill in the blanks. You and I, Haley, all of us here work for an international organization for counterterrorism.” Severin looked at him sharply. “You understand what terrorism is?”

  God, yes. Some things were as clear as day for him, and this bit of knowledge unfortunately was one of them. “Assholes killing innocents in the name of some bullshit sense of self-righteousness.”

  Severin nodded once. “Close enough. Anyway, we work to stop them. You’re Haley’s boy. She runs you in the field. Your team leader,” the man explained. Good thing, too, because all Noah could think when told he was Haley’s “boy” was toy, as in boy toy, as in wrestling around naked in bed with the woman. And whoops, he was really starting to feel better because that fleeting thought sent his somewhat-erect cock into full-mast position. It felt good. It felt normal, and he really needed normal at the moment. What he didn’t need, however, was Severin Blake seeing how happy he was at the thought of being with Haley. Good thing his leg was up between them to hide his erection. Or, at least he thought it was hidden. Given the way Severin was suddenly looking at him with narrowed eyes, he wasn’t so sure.

  “So, we fight terrorists?” Noah prodded the other man to deflect any mention of his inappropriate condition.

  A couple of seconds ticked by before his visitor answered. “Yes. We go after the homegrown ones, too, including a charming group known as The True Sons of America. These murderous freaks believe our country is being run by all the wrong kinds of people, which means people other than those who share their total bullshit bigoted view of the world. You infiltrated them and learned they are planning an attack somewhere here in the Boston area just in time for the Fourth of July.” He paused, swore briefly and softly before continuing. “And you weren’t in an accident so much as tortured.”

  Noah let the words sink in, as incredible as they were. His body was riddled with cuts and bruises, pain seeped through the relatively light medication they gave him at his insistence because he didn’t like his brain foggier than it already was. He tried desperately to remember if anything Severin said made sense to him. It didn’t and the effort made his head ache. He brought his fingers up to press against his temples, his eyes closed to shut out the light in the room. A hand, warm and comforting, descended on his raised thigh. “Are you okay, Noah?”

  The touch, even through the sheet, both electrified and soothed. His nipples tingled, his balls pulled up tighter. His cock hardened to a painful state. He wanted nothing more than to lean toward Severin and shift the large hand from his thigh to the hard length beside it. He wanted those strong fingers curled around his shaft, squeezing and pulling.

  “Shit!” Noah jerked away from Severin instead, dislodging the comforting hand and dismissing its owner. He didn’t dare do anything else. Maybe he couldn’t remember his own name or the fact that he was some kind of super cop, but he did remember how relatively rare men fucking other men was. He also remembered a man who made unwelcome advances to another man could end up getting hurt, as in having the crap beaten out of him. It’s not that he was particularly worried about the latter bit, but he had a connection to this man and didn’t want to jeopardize that by asking, Hey, would you mind giving me a hand job? And, when you’re done, could you crawl into bed with me and hold me while I try to sleep because I feel so fucking alone and scared. And I’m afraid of going to sleep because when I wake up I remember all over again that I can’t remember?

  No, in many ways he was back to living on a more primitive survival mode. Instinct told him to play it safe and assume Severin Blake was a straight as they come and not interested in playing with another man’s cock. So he closed his eyes and said, “Sorry, my head hurts and I’m tired. Do you mind?”

  Severin’s voice washed over him, soothing, understanding. “It’s all right. I’m sorry if I upset you. It’s going to be all right, Noah. You’re not alone.”

  How had the guy even known what he was thinking and feeling? Unable to trust his voice, Noah simply nodded. When he heard the bedroom door open and close, he let the tears fall.

  * * * * *

  Haley stepped quietly up to the bed and looked down at a sleeping Noah. It was late at night, and she had done all she could do for one day. The list of primary targets and the assignments for recon were made. She’d even managed to do it while sitting next to Severin. While her traitorous body had yearned to touch him and be touched, her mind had stayed engaged on the task at hand and on the plan for Noah. According to the doctor, his fever was gone and he’d choked down some simple food. Now he slept again, but fitfully from what she could tell in the darkness. His body jerked in apparent agitation. He needed soothing. The question was, did she dare help him in the way she’d been thinking about since the morning’s
meeting?

  For her own part, the answer was easy enough. Her body was hot and aroused from Sev’s proximity. Whether she liked it or not, the man called forth some pretty basic and strong memories from her body. Sleeping with the man had always left her wrung dry yet eager for more. No one, not even the young man lying before her, had left her in such a state. Too bad Sev had turned out to be such a male chauvinist asshole. My woman, that’s what he’d called her during the fight that ended it all, as in “my woman is not going out in the field risking her life while our kids stay at home with a nanny”. She had been his woman but he hadn’t been her man, not in the same way. Of course, her man could go out in the field risking his life while his woman stayed home raising their kids. Not the same thing at all, he’d shouted at her.

  “Oh, yeah? Well, fuck you and the horse you road in on, you Neanderthal,” she had shouted back. A master’s degree in criminology and it was the best she could come up with. He had made her that mad and sad. She had loved him and if she looked past her surface emotions, she loved him still. Pathetic—her, not him. But none of it mattered right now, or ever again. She needed to concentrate on Noah and help him remember.

  Before her good sense could talk her out of it, Haley stripped off her clothes. As she unclasped her bra, she rubbed her palms over her taut nipples. Her clit pulsed in response. When she pulled down her pants, she slipped a finger between her folds and found her pussy slick from her own juices. She was more than ready for a good fucking, yet knew it was not in the cards tonight. The last thing a recovering Noah needed was a hot and horny woman jumping in his sickbed. She could tell, though, he needed comforting, so that’s what she was going to give him.

  Slowly pulling the sheet back from his body, Haley slipped in beside him and wrapped her arm gingerly around his injured chest. He roused immediately at the contact. “What?” he sputtered in confusion.