ArousingMemories

by Samantha Cayto

  “Shh,” she soothed, her hand running lightly over his skin. “It’s Haley.” She hesitated a moment before asking the necessary question. “Do you mind?”

  Noah placed his hand on hers and sighed. “No, not at all, although I’m afraid I’m not in any condition right now to do much.”

  Haley chuckled. “It’s okay. I’m not looking for anything more than to hold you while we both sleep. How does that sound?”

  “It sounds wonderful actually, although,” he said, twisting toward her and moving his hand to cup her breast, “I haven’t forgotten that there are far more interesting things to do with a naked woman than simply holding her.”

  His palm, rougher than her own, made her groan as he rubbed it against her straining nipple. The folds between her legs became even wetter. Without conscious thought, she brought her knee up between his legs and brushed against his balls. Now it was his turn to groan. “Sorry,” she hissed, although she wasn’t sure she really was. It was too good.

  “No,” was his breathless reply. “This is great. It feels great, and it feels familiar. We’ve done this before, haven’t we?”

  Haley smiled into the darkness. “A time or two.” Even she could hear her wistful tone.

  “I’m sorry I don’t remember you.” There was a catch in his voice and it tugged at her heart.

  “Shh,” she soothed again, bringing her hand up to cup his face. His cheeks were damp. Was he crying? Oh God. “Noah, it will be all right.”

  He turned his head and kissed her palm. “I hope so, but for tonight, may I ask a favor?”

  “I’m here for you,” she answered, knowing it was the truth. Jogging Noah’s memories was critical to save lives. Nevertheless, part of helping him to remember was to help him get his life back. To her mind, this second reason was nearly as important as the first.

  He shifted closer to her and spoke in almost a whisper. “I’m having trouble sleeping and I don’t want any more drugs in me. My sense of reality is shot as it is.” He paused. “Would you mind helping me relax?” As if the meaning of his words was unclear, he shifted her hand with his own down from his face to his cock. It was half hard already. “Would you mind?” he asked in a tone that tugged hard at her heart. He was so vulnerable.

  Wrapping her hand around his burgeoning erection, she leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips. “I love playing with your cock, Noah,” she whispered. She took a firmer grip and pumped his shaft to full hardness. “Are you sure you can handle this? You’re pretty beaten up.”

  “Mmm,” he moaned. “This will chase the pain away better than morphine.” The rest of his body went slack. He lay still and passive, very unlike him, but testament to how hurt he was, as she settled into a steady rhythm.

  Sensing he would need more stimulation, Haley shifted her body to free her other hand and switched it with the one clasping his cock. This freed her first hand to cup his tightening balls. She rolled the soft globes between thumb and fingers and was rewarded by another groan from Noah. She pushed the taut skin of his cock up and down, while using her thumb to rub the underside of his glans with every stroke upward.

  Noah’s hips twitched to hump him in her hand. His breath quickened and his hand grabbed her arm as his cock pulsed. Hot liquid burst from its tip, coating Haley’s fingers, easing their way as she continued to pump his shaft. His fingers dug into her skin while he groaned his way through the climax. Breath as hot as his cum tickled her face. And then he was still. His breathing slowed and his fingers lost their grip.

  “I should,” he started to say in a voice barely audible before he went silent. Moments later, Haley heard the steady, even breathing of a sleeping man.

  She nudged him over onto his back and lay on her own, both satisfied at a job well done and miserable because her body throbbed in its own unfulfilled arousal. Undoubtedly Noah was going to say he should reciprocate, but the poor man was in no position to do so this night. She didn’t expect it in any event. The whole idea of slipping in beside him was to help him sleep, not get her own rocks off, so to speak. Besides, she was an old pro at satisfying herself.

  Her fingers still slick from Noah’s semen, Haley reached down to rub her clit. Hot as she was, her body jerked at her own touch. She circled her clit only a few times before her body exploded in orgasm. It wanted to buck with the intensity. She worked to stay as still and quiet as possible, biting back the cry of release clawing to get out. White points burst behind her eyelids and she went deaf to all but her own blood singing. And when she was done, she turned and wrapped herself around Noah once more and fell asleep.

  Chapter Three

  Noah woke up feeling much better than he had the day before. His head didn’t ache, but other, more fun parts did. It meant he was definitely on the mend, and his cock was looking for a playmate to celebrate. It was looking for Haley. She wasn’t there, though. Glancing about his room, he saw the male nurse who had been tending to him bending over a medical cart. Noah tried to suppress the sigh of disappointment. Tried and failed as the nurse turned from his task and smiled.

  “Good morning, Mr. Turner. How are you feeling today?”

  “Better, thanks.” Sitting up, he maneuvered to hide his condition and ignored the subtle, yet clear signals the nurse was putting out. This guy was interested, but despite Noah’s appreciation of Severin, there was no thought of asking this other man to ease his morning wood. This was not the sort of man he was looking for apparently. Those aspects of Haley as a woman that he appreciated, soft roundness, grace, beauty, were not what he was looking for in a man. He wanted hard strength, a commanding presence, an alpha male. Nurse Whatshisname, for all that he was a kind person who took good care of his patient, did nothing for Noah.

  The nurse approached the bed. “Would you like a bedpan, or do you think you’re up for a trip to the bathroom?”

  Oh, Christ! Noah had no idea what kind of man he was, but he knew he’d had enough of playing the invalid. No more bedpans, but he wasn’t interested in having this earnest guy help him and his hard-on over to the bathroom, either. Time to stop feeling sorry for himself and time to start taking charge of his own life again. He summoned up a smile.

  “Neither, thanks. I’d rather have breakfast first.”

  “All righty, then,” was the cheerful reply. “But first we need to take your temperature.”

  With a sigh, Noah looked up at the ceiling and prayed the thermometer would not be the rectal kind.

  * * * * *

  “Haley, wait up.” Severin picked up speed and caught his quarry at the end of the hall. He’d been looking for her for a good half-hour, always missing her by mere minutes. The woman never stopped. She had now, though, and was waiting for him with obvious annoyance plastered on her face. She also tapped the folder in her hand against her leg with impatience.

  “What?” she asked before he had even arrived.

  Now that he had found her, he was reluctant to talk. The subject matter was touchy. He took a quick look around to confirm there was no one within earshot before he spoke. “I, ah, wanted to talk to you about Noah.”

  The look on Haley’s face morphed into concern. “Is he all right?”

  Shit! “Yeah, he’s fine,” Severin was quick to reassure her, and was glad when the alarm that had played across her face disappeared. “I mean, I heard he’s doing much better this morning.”

  Haley smiled, and man, when she did, Sev wished it were directed toward him. It had been once upon a time and he’d blown it. Move on, moron, he told himself. Dwelling on the past didn’t help anyone, least of all Noah, and their focus needed to be on him.

  “I heard that, too,” she confirmed. “In fact, I’m heading to his room now. I, ah, want to see for myself.” Holding up the folder, she added, “I’ve cleared it with the doctor to show him surveillance photos of the Sons, although not of Markowitz. The doctor said that might prove too traumatic at this point. These might jog his memories, though, or they might also agitate him and repress
his memories even more. Either way we have to take the risk. We have to try anything that might work even at the risk of doing Noah more harm.”

  Her eyes flicked away from him and wasn’t that an interesting tell. She was ready to put her Plan B into action, assuming she hadn’t done so already as her Plan A. There was a stab deep in his gut, a bad one, one unfamiliar to him, yet he knew instinctively what it was. Jealousy. And didn’t it just suck! He had never been jealous in his life, but he’d also never been in love before. Try as he might, there was no denying he loved Haley still, and while the general knowledge that she was sleeping with someone else hadn’t really registered with him before, this actual knowledge did not sit well with him. The hell of it was, he really liked Noah and cared about him, was worried about him. Yet a nasty little voice inside his head told him maybe he had set out to seduce the other man as a way to get to Haley, to get back at her.

  Damn! No, he wasn’t going there. He couldn’t have sunk so low. He wasn’t going to succumb to jealousy either, and yet why else had he tracked her all morning? To prove otherwise, he decided right on the spot he wasn’t going to simply pry into her plans, he was going to encourage them. It was best for Noah, best for the people of Boston. It’s what he told himself, and he was determined to believe it.

  “You really think you can fuck him into getting his memories back?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he winced. It wasn’t the way to support her plan, but maybe his subconscious wasn’t in quite the same noble mood as his conscious.

  Haley’s eyes narrowed. “You can be such an asshole. But for the record, yes, I think there’s a chance it could work. Do you really think I’m so out of line about this?”

  “No,” he replied in a far more petulant voice than he’d ever used in his life. His gaze dropped. It wasn’t in his nature to be so self-indulgent, and he sucked it up and looked her straight in the eye. “No, I don’t think so. In fact I think it’s a good idea.”

  “Good enough for you to try the same thing?” Typical Haley, direct as always. He admired that about her. He had to answer honestly, though, because there was too much on the line.

  “Probably not,” he admitted.

  She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. Classic Haley move telling him she was pondering the facts. He could all but see the cogs turning in her beautiful head. He waited patiently for the inevitable question. “Why not?” she finally asked.

  He considered not telling her the truth, then figured what the hell? He gained nothing by keeping his thoughts to himself and lost nothing in telling them, except maybe some pride. Pride had always been his Achilles’ heel. It wouldn’t kill him to put it aside once in a while. “I’m not sure Noah would be receptive to my attention.”

  Haley frowned. “Noah isn’t exactly a kiss-and-tell kind of guy, but he left me with the distinct impression something happened between you two.”

  “Yeah, something, a few somethings, happened between us,” he admitted, hands jammed inside his front pockets like a schoolboy confessing to his teacher or mother. Shit. “He’s a great guy and a really promising operative. I wanted him the moment I met him. The same way I wanted you from the start.” Now that was a real confession, and he’d be damned if he knew what made him say it. Haley, bless her, made him move past it.

  “Don’t go there,” she commanded with a thrust of her finger and a hard set of her jaw.

  The thought of placing a row of kisses along that delicate line, as he had many times before, popped up unbidden. He felt the loss keenly. “Sorry,” he said with regret and forced himself to go back to the topic at hand. “Anyway, he was as eager as me, but I didn’t have a chance to get to know him well. I can’t say if he’s as comfortable being bi as I am. I’m afraid to chance making a move. What if I upset him, setting him back even more?”

  She was thinking again as if weighing something. Finally, she spoke. “Look, Sev, if there wasn’t so much at stake, I’d cut out my own tongue before giving you a sexual leg up with anyone. But Noah getting his memories back is too important for me to play some kind of game with you. I don’t know how Noah feels about you exactly, except I do know he likes you and admires you. I also know he’s quite comfortable being attracted to both men and women. His experience with either is nothing like yours, of course.”

  “Thanks, sugar,” he grinned at the backhanded compliment.

  Tugging a stray piece of hair behind her ear, she shrugged. “I’m saying if you want to try calling up his memories by seducing him, I’m hardly in a position to tell you it’s a stupid idea or a dangerous one. Just don’t ask me to help you.” This last bit was said in a quiet voice. It told him more than any shouting how much he had hurt her.

  “Haley?” Sev lifted his hand to touch her. She didn’t give him the chance.

  Backing away, she said, “Look, do what you think is best. I’m going to, but I don’t have time to talk to you about it. I’m going to spend some time with Noah now. Don’t get in my way.”

  He watched her hurry down the hall. Get in her way? How? Did she really think he was going to walk in on her and Noah, and what, join them? Hell, no, except he’d had that fantasy only yesterday outside Noah’s room. Haley and Noah and Sev in the middle, or maybe Haley in the middle, or Noah. A laugh barked past his lips. A crazy idea. So why did his cock twitch inside his pants? It didn’t think it was such a crazy idea.

  “Knock it off,” he commanded the less intelligent part of him and went to find something useful to do.

  * * * * *

  Haley paused before knocking on Noah’s door. Even the long walk through the building hadn’t given her time enough to calm down from her encounter with Sev. She worked so hard to appear calm and in control around him. The truth was he had a way of getting to her that no one else had. She’d actually felt a pang of jealousy at the idea of Sev seducing Noah. Yet, here she was doing the very same thing. Her sense of fairness had made it impossible, too, for her to ignore the insecurity and even sadness she had seen in his eyes when he spoke about Noah. It wasn’t a bad thing really for them to make the same effort. Better for one to succeed than both fail because they tripped all over each other. One thing was certain, however. They were going to be making separate efforts. No way they would work it as a threesome. Not that the idea of making love to two men at the same time bothered her. But touching Severin Blake again, letting him touch her? No. Way. An ache deep inside her screamed Liar! She ignored it and took several deep breaths.

  More centered, she knocked and entered Noah’s bedroom when she didn’t hear a response. The bed was empty and her heart raced with concern for a second before she saw him leave the bathroom. He staggered out, actually, with a towel wrapped around his narrow hips. She rushed over to help him by placing an arm around his waist. His body was warm, not hot from a fever, and slightly damp.

  “Hey,” she admonished. “What are you doing?”

  Noah draped his arm without hesitation across her shoulders and leaned into her a bit. “Thanks, Haley. I wanted to take a shower and I guess I overestimated my strength.”

  “Why didn’t you ask your nurse for help? It’s his job, you know.”

  As he lowered himself into a large wing chair, he gave a rueful smile. “I didn’t want help. I’m tired of playing the invalid.”

  Arms folded, she looked down at him and shook her head. “Stubborn.”

  “Sorry. Am I usually stubborn?”

  The question was asked lightly enough, but she knew there was tension in it. Still, she kept her answer light as well. “Most men are.”

  “I bet Severin Blake is,” he replied.

  Oh God, just what she wanted to talk about, Sev. A subtext underlined the question, or maybe it was her jealous imagination at work. In any event, not interfering with Sev’s plans did not include acting as matchmaker for the two men. “Yes,” she confirmed in as neutral a tone as possible. “He most certainly is.”

  For a second she thought he was going to ask a follow-up
question. He said something completely unexpected instead. “I was disappointed you weren’t here when I woke up this morning.”

  This simple admission brought both tears to her eyes and blood to all the right places. The familiar heaviness filled the space between her legs. “I’m sorry, I had an early meeting. And,” she continued blinking back the tears and dropping down to kneel on the floor by his feet, “I wasn’t sure you’d appreciate everyone knowing our business.”

  He took a strand of her hair between thumb and forefinger. She had deliberately kept it down because she knew he liked it that way. So did Sev, but she wasn’t going there again. He contemplated what he held for a few seconds. “Would it be trouble for you if people knew?” It was sweet for him to care, classic Noah. It was a good sign that he was still the same basic person, memories or not.

  “No,” she reassured him and couldn’t help clasping his hand with hers.

  He looked at her face now. “We are lovers, aren’t we? I mean we were before my injury?”

  “Yes, we are. Not exactly encouraged in the organization given that you’re my subordinate, but not disallowed, either.”

  Noah frowned. “I met our boss, Ms. McGillicutty?”

  “Ms. Mac, yes.”

  “A very scary woman. I think she made my nurse wet himself when she told him to leave us alone.”

  “She has that effect on everyone. Fortunately she’s on our side.”

  He nodded his agreement. “She was actually very kind to me. Very reassuring. She told me no matter what, the agency would take care of me. She said I was not alone. People keep saying that.”

  Squeezing his hand, Haley said, “Because you’re not, Noah.”

  “I certainly wasn’t last night. Thank you, Haley.”

  “Did my being here help?”

  He chuckled. “Oh, yes. You helped me get to sleep very well. However, I can’t help remembering somehow I didn’t manage to reciprocate.” He raised his eyebrows at her.