Bound by Secrets

by Angela M Hudson

  “Shhh.” She squeezed a bit tighter. “Don’t cry, Dad. Mom understands, I’m sure of it.”

  “She does now, but she only found out today.”

  Elora pulled back a bit. “So that’s what’s been eating her up today? I knew it was something!”

  I nodded. “She’s okay, but it’s been hard for me—having to live with what I did and not being able to tell her why.”

  Lors nodded. “I think she loves you, Dad. I know she doesn’t say it, but keep trying with her. I can see it in her eyes. She is head over damn heels.”

  I wanted to laugh, to tell her we were back together, but I felt Ara should be here for that. After all, it was her gift to Elora today. So I just smiled softly instead. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “And I still love you, Dad,” she said, her green eyes shining as I looked at her. “I was mad with you, but I also knew there was something bigger going on here. I just… I forgot about the curse is all. But now that you mention it, so many things make sense.”

  “Well, let’s not dwell on it any more tonight.” I moved her hands to the correct position for dancing. “I only get one more night to dance with you, and then you’ll be gone forever—”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Dad,” she said, laughing. “I’ll be living just down the street.”

  “Yes, but you aren’t my little girl anymore. You’re… Eric’s.”

  “I am not Eric’s little girl,” she said firmly. “I’m his wife. We’re partners in crime, Dad, like you and Mom, like Uncle Mike and Aunt Em, and that changes nothing between you and me. I know I always said I’d never get married, but we were wrong when we said it meant I’d belong to someone else. I’m my own person, as I have always been but, in that, no matter what, no matter how old I get or how far away I am, you are my father and I will always be your little girl.”

  I brought her in close so she wouldn’t see me cry, but she laughed then anyway as a tear dripped down past my chin and landed on her heart.

  53

  Ara

  After dinner and speeches and greetings of many kinds, with both old friends I didn’t remember and royal acquaintances I was glad I didn’t remember, I stood by the gift table, inspecting the packaging. People here spent up big, if the wrapping was any indication. It seemed each guest had attempted to best the other, but nothing was going to beat my gift. I even considered telling Elora about her new little brother or sister, but I just didn’t want her to have the same sort of reaction David had. Only a day had passed, but already the cells within my body were changing. It was too soon to even call it a fetus, let alone a baby, but with all my heart that was still how I saw it. I couldn’t wait until the day I would be able to feel it move, feel its soul, its gender.

  “What are you doing standing over here alone?” Jason asked, suddenly behind me, motionless, as if he’d been there a while.

  I turned fully, making a conscious effort to lower my hands from my belly. “I guess I was wondering what’s next for Elora.”

  “In what sense?”

  “For the last year-and-a-half, her life has been about me, in so many ways. She was waiting for me to come back, waiting for me to remember her, then she was waiting to get married. Now it’s done, I suppose I’m excited for her that she can just get on with her life.”

  Jason smiled, his eyes shrinking, showing his age. He had a warmer smile than David, as though his heart hadn’t been quite as tainted by life. “And what about you?” He moved over and leaned on the gift table. “What are your plans now?”

  “Finish school. I’ve only got a few weeks left, and then…” I bumped my shoulders up passively. “I think maybe I’ll find a way to break my curse.”

  Jason choked on his drink, shaking off his hands where it splashed all over them. “Who told you?”

  “You mean you didn’t read it?” I tapped my head.

  He shook his. “I’ve mastered staying out of people’s thoughts now, Ara. I only enter when it’s intentional.”

  “You should start working with Harry then,” I said.

  “I already am.” He smiled warmly. “So, the curse? Who told you about it?”

  “Why? Are you mad?”

  “I’m not mad. I’m shocked.”

  “Why?”

  “I thought they’d take that to their grave.”

  “They?”

  “David and Mike. And Falcon.”

  “So Mike knows about the curse too?”

  “Ara”—he looked at me with narrowed eyes—“Mike’s under your curse. He has been since he was still human.”

  All the air drained out of the room. I didn’t realize Mike was caught up too.

  “We once thought only humans were susceptible, but it’s since been proven that Lilithians are just as much at risk, and Mike has been through hell because of it—almost lost his marriage.”

  “Why?”

  “Because as much as he tried to fight his feelings for you, they have been and will always be there.”

  “Then that’s even more of a reason why I have to break this curse.”

  “There is no way to break it.”

  “How do you know? Have you ever tried?”

  “Well… no… but…”

  “Well, then there’s no reason why there shouldn’t be a way to break it, don’t you think?”

  “Ara.” He put his drink down and slid closer to me, leaning in slightly as if to make a private bubble. “That curse was placed on your grandmother Lilith, some say by angels, some—”

  “I know. Brett told me. And I don’t think it matters. A curse, from what I know, is deliberate. And if something was done intentionally, it can be undone.”

  “Not all spells or curses can be undone. Some have to outlive their maker, or the time set upon it.”

  “Well, I figure I can at least look into it.” I glanced over at David, who looked happier than I’d ever seen him, and maybe a little bit drunk. “Imagine his life, Mike’s life, even Brett’s, if they weren’t under my curse.”

  “And Elora’s,” he said, looking across the room at my daughter.

  “What does she have to do with it?”

  “Same thing Lily does, and Beth. You’re all the blood of the Original Lilith.”

  My mouth gaped. I shut it quickly before a fly could get in. “I didn’t know that.”

  He nodded, sliding sideways to pick up his drink and then sliding back, standing comfortably beside me with one arm crossed over his waist, propping his glass-holding hand on it. “So did you finding out about the curse have anything to do with the state of my brother’s hand?”

  I smiled at his cheeky smile. “He punched Brett in the face after I kissed him.”

  “Kissed who?”

  “Brett.”

  “What!”

  “Shhh.” I pressed my finger to my lips. “I don’t really want everyone knowing I’m a terrible whore.”

  “You’re not a whore, Ara,” he said sweetly.

  “Says the guy that had sex with me while I was married. I think you’re a little biased.”

  At first, he seemed shocked, then his face cracked and he laughed in the back of his throat. “Good to see you have a sense of humor.”

  “I kind of have to,” I said. “There’s so much fucked up shit going on in this world, if I don’t make the odd joke about it, I’ll take myself too seriously and jump off a lighthouse again.”

  “Hm. Yes. Don’t do that.”

  “I wasn’t planning to. Besides, do you see any lighthouses around here?”

  “Why do you think they all moved here?” he joked, winking at me.

  “I did want to run, you know? After I made that mistake today.”

  “I don’t doubt that.” He nodded softly. “It’s in your nature. Not because you run from your problems but because you naturally panic—you don’t know how to deal with them, how to come back from them. It’s like you think no one will want you if you make a mistake.”

  Wow. He hit so close
to home I almost cried.

  “But we’re your family, Ara. And it’ll take time, but pretty soon, as you did before, you’ll learn that we love you no matter what—that every mistake can be fixed, and that an apology will always mean something.”

  I cocked my head, a smile stuck on my face where words wouldn’t come. What could I say to that? It was probably one of the sweetest things anyone had said to me, aside from David. I could see it was just in these boys’ nature to be incredibly sweet, and I was glad now that I hadn’t kidnapped Harry and run away from David when I thought he was evil. I mean, knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have made it very far before they hunted me down anyway. Scary thought.

  “So where will you start?”

  “Huh?” I looked up from my world of free thought.

  “The curse. Where will you begin?”

  “Um…” I had no idea, but as I thought about it, I heard Ali’s voice—well, her screeching laughter—rise over the noise of the room, and I had an idea. “Ali might know something, being that she’s your best practiced witch. And if she doesn’t, she might know where to look.”

  Jason nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Of course, failing that, you could just ask Lilith.”

  “Lilith?”

  “Mm.” He nodded, sipping his drink. “She returns to the forests around Loslilian every so often to check on the tree.”

  “The tree?”

  “The Tree of Life—the one you awakened.”

  “Me?”

  “Yep.” He smiled. “Anyway, she might know how to help you. Although, if she did, she probably would’ve broken the curse herself, but it’s worth a shot.”

  “So I should come to Loslilian?”

  “You should anyway,” he said. “You need to see it.”

  “Okay, I’ll plan it for when school finishes for the year.”

  “Which is when?”

  “Early December.”

  “Okay.” He looked over at Lily when she called him. “And if you plan on asking Lily about Morgana, by the way, you might want to do it soon.”

  “How did you know—”

  “Drake mentioned it. He wondered if you’d had the chance yet.”

  “What do you think she’ll say?”

  “I think she’ll say no. I know your argument is that Morgana’s suffered enough—same argument as Drake. But Lily isn’t just punishing her for what she did to you and David. She’s punishing her because she betrayed family, and because she ki—” He stopped dead on that last word. “Never mind that last bit. Forget I said anything.”

  “No. What were you going to say?”

  “Nothing.” He backed away. “If you want to know more, you have to ask David.”

  I watched him walk off, watched him press his lips to Lily’s hair, whispering something that made her look over at me with worry in her eyes. David was holding another dark secret, and drunk or not, it was time he spilled the beans.

  * * *

  “Arrrraaaaa!” He threw his arms up and wrapped them around my waist, pulling me onto his lap at the table. Elora laughed, going pink in the cheeks as she muttered something about her father being very drunk.

  “This guy keeps feeding him shots,” Quaid added, backhanding Eric.

  “Yeah, he’s only human,” Elora reminded him. “He’ll end up in hospital if you don’t stop it.”

  “I’m tougher than I look,” David said in a very stern, controlled voice. And he was. He may have been loud, and his personality grew three times the size of his body when he was drinking, but he was still upright and his eyes were clear and focused. “Now, what brings my beautiful wife to the table with such a solemn look on her face?”

  I wedged my thumb in between his arms and my belly as he squeezed me way too tight. “I—”

  “Dad,” Elora said, “I think you’re making her uncomfortable.”

  David just laughed, pulling the chair beside us out with his foot and planting me on it. “I think it’s time to tell them, Ar.”

  “Ar?” Elora scoffed. “Since when do you ever call Mom that? Like, ever in my entire life?”

  We both smiled at them, and they read the grins on our faces to be exactly what they were.

  “Oh my God!” Elora screamed, jumping to her feet.

  To my total shame and mortification, everyone in the room stopped talking and laughing, and even the music seemed to have stopped so they could all gawk at us. She ran around the table, falling to her knees between us, crying into our shoulders.

  “You’re really back together?”

  “Yeah,” I said, kissing her stiff, hair-sprayed hair.

  She sniffled loudly as she drew back, her mascara running around the base of her lashes. “So you were just messing with me this morning?”

  I laughed. “Yeah.”

  “Aw, Mom. I didn’t realize you had such an evil streak.”

  David laughed louder. “She’s not as innocent as she looks.”

  Elora looked at her dad then back at me, her face soft with a pout. “You guys…”

  “I know.” I thumbed her chin.

  “This is honestly the best thing anyone could’ve given me today.”

  As those words hit David, I saw his mind map out his next sentence, something like: “Nope. The best news is that you’re going to be a big sister again.” But I stopped him, standing up quickly.

  “I think the band should get back on now.” I gave David a ‘look’. “I feel like dancing.”

  “Agreed!” Elora jumped up, taking my hand. “Come on, we’ll grab Lily too.”

  As she dragged me away, I turned back and mouthed to David, “We need to talk.”

  His brows pulled together, eyes all serious, and even though I was a bit pissed that he was keeping something else from me, I couldn’t help but think he looked remarkably cute when he had that face on. Serious David suited him better than boyish David. Whereas the boyish grin suited Jason more, and yet they had the same face.

  Elora tugged me along, and my mind mapped out where we’d stop on the dance floor and wait until the band got back on stage, even planned out a few dance moves, but it all stopped short when David grabbed my arm and yanked me back. “Ara.”

  “What?” I said, catching the breath that escaped me in surprise.

  Elora took in her dad’s eyes and his general posture and said, “I’ll wait for you on the dance floor, Mom.”

  “Okay.” I nodded, looking then to David. “What’s wrong?”

  “Why didn’t you let me tell her? Has something happened to the baby? Do you feel any pain? Was it—”

  “No. Nothing’s happened, it’s fine,” I sung, placing my hand on his chest. His heart was racing a million miles, his voice shaky, eyes wet. “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “I…” He let go of my arm. “Nothing. I was just worried.”

  “Well, it’s okay. Almost-baby is fine. We’re fine. I just didn’t want to tell anyone yet.”

  “Almost-baby?” he said with a smirk.

  “He or she is just a sac of cells right now—a flicker of life. It doesn’t really feel right to say ‘baby’ yet.”

  “It’s not a sac of cells, Ara!” he said firmly, backing down then as the facts of life kicked in. “Okay, maybe it is by definition, but I see it as a baby now because it will be a baby very soon, and I don’t care what anyone says—this twelve-week bullshit. If it’s life now and it will be life, no one has the right—”

  “Whoa! David, are you going all pro-life on me here? It’s not like I’m planning an abortion.”

  “I know.” He rubbed his face, hiding a smile. “I’m sorry. And I’m actually not against that, I just… It’s just a sensitive topic for me.”

  I looked into his eyes, deeper than the surface, searching for that thing that was resting right there on the brink of coming out. “Why?”

  “It just is. And why didn’t you want to tell anyone yet? Is it because you don’t see it as a baby?”

  “No. That’s not it at all. I
agree with you. It is life; it will be a child one day. But it’s more that I didn’t want anyone to judge me like you did.”

  His shoulders dropped. “Then why did you say we needed to talk—why did you look so serious?”

  I smiled. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. It’s not that big a deal. I just wanted to talk about not telling people until maybe they’ve had a chance to see the more grown-up version of me for a while.”

  I could see he felt silly for overreacting. “Then, in that case, you better kiss me, because our daughter looks worried.”

  Without glancing back to see her worried face, I rolled onto my toes and leaned into my husband, squealing as he crossed his wrists under my bum and lifted me up to kiss him.

  “That’s enough of that, you two,” Mike said playfully, slapping David’s back. “We’ve got fans waiting.”

  David looked over my shoulder at the gathering crowd, all anxious to see their past king and the new king play another set. He glanced down at his hand then. Ali had fixed the flesh using magic, but I could tell the bone hurt. It wasn’t broken, according to Jason, but it was definitely sore. “Got a song request?” he said to me.

  “Something really fun to dance to.”

  He smiled. “Okay, I got a good one.”

  I turned to watch him jump up on stage, my lady parts warming at the sight of it. I liked David on stage. I liked David with a guitar. I liked him even more in front of a piano. In fact, as Mike took a seat at the piano, I decided I quite liked him at the piano too, and it reminded me of what Jason said—that Mike was under my curse. No matter what we had done in life—sat and talked, mucked around, cooked meals together—it had always been something more to him than it was to me. And it broke my heart. Not just for him being trapped in love with someone that would never love him back, but for Em, who was just about to give birth to their next child. What must it feel like to know your husband loves you enough to stay with you even though he will never give you his whole heart?

  When the song started, I recognized it right away. An old song. I couldn’t remember the title, but I think it was something like ‘Twist and’… ‘Shout’! That was it. ‘Twist and Shout’. I wanted to start dancing, but my attention was on Emily. I felt like apologizing for having cursed blood. I felt like something needed to be said. But I decided instead that something needed to be done. I was resolved then to finish school in December and go straight to Loslilian to meet Lilith. This curse had to be broken, for the sake of us all.