Bound by Secrets

by Angela M Hudson

  * * *

  The night was winding down. It had that feel of exhaustion lingering over the top of excitement, people reaching the point where they were still celebrating but were ready to go home. As Lors and Eric prepared themselves for the final walk of goodbye, which was to be done in a circle—a farewell circle, I was told—I sat at the table waiting until we were called to form said circle. I’d managed to, surprisingly, get a good few moments alone too, which gave me plenty of time to think. There were so many thoughts to collect—how I felt about my daughter getting married; how I felt about having a daughter; Jason, and so many thoughts to go along with him; David, and his reaction to me kissing Brett today; the fact that he had been more worried about me leaving than he was about the kiss; what that kiss meant to me, and if I hated myself for it, or if I was willing to see it as a hard-learned lesson—so many things. But I hadn’t spent much time thinking about my father, or Morgana, or even the curse that needed to be broken, which is why, when a bold voice said my name, a thousand thoughts suddenly rushed to the front of my head; a wave of dread weighing me down because I hadn’t yet spoken to Lily about Morgana.

  “My sister tells me you’ve not come to her yet and, as my calendar would have it”—he looked at his watch—“my daughter is due for another round of torture tomorrow.”

  “Jason thinks Lily will say no.”

  “Not if you ask her.”

  “Well”—I sat forward a little, glancing back to see if they were any closer to calling the circle of farewell—“he also seems to think there’s some other reason she should be punished.”

  “And what, pray tell, might that be?” He sounded really irritated.

  “Look, if you’re the all-powerful king of vampires, why don’t you just step in and take Morgana?”

  “Because that would start a war,” he said. “One cannot simply go against a monarch, disregard our treaty because he feels he’s been wronged. My people would not have it, and neither would yours. There must be trust among us, or there will only be chaos.”

  I huffed to myself. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Drake. If Jason doesn’t think Lily will—”

  “Jason is not Lily. You must ask her yourself.”

  You must ask her yourself, I repeated in my head, using his odd intonation. I found it weird that his nineteenth-century kind of voice didn’t sound out of place here. He looked like a regular and somewhat stunning guy from this century, and yet he sounded like he should have a role in a ‘Game of Thrones’ episode.

  “I’ll ask tomorrow.”

  “While my daughter is being tortured?”

  My eyes went to his watch. “What date is she booked in for this horrific act?”

  “The seventh. What does it matter?”

  “Because we’re in Australia, Drake. It’s not the seventh in America tomorrow. It’s the sixth—a day behind, remember?”

  He clearly felt a little silly then. “I forgot about that.”

  “So you see? It’s okay. I can talk to Lily tomorrow and, if it really means that much to you, I won’t ask her. I’ll tell her.”

  He smiled, a knowing smile that suggested my plan would go awry. “Good luck with that. You are twin souls, Amara, which means you are alike in more ways than one.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked as he stood up and walked away. He didn’t bother to answer, and I didn’t bother to push. The M.C. called us to the circle then and my heart grew three times larger, realizing, with a sudden sense of heartbreak, how close I was to saying goodbye to my daughter for the next six weeks.

  * * *

  Confetti rained in the sky above the hot red convertible as one of my oldest friends drove away with my daughter by his side. I thought I’d feel sad and maybe even nostalgic, but I was actually relieved at this point that the night was over. David and I had a lot to deal with, a lot to talk about, and I needed to spend some time discussing things with Lily too. I was once running the monarchy, and only my death had stopped me, but that did not mean I was no longer fit for the job. So, I mean, yeah, I didn’t remember who I was. Big deal. That shouldn’t mean I have my position stripped away from me. Okay, and yes Lily was the rightful queen, the first queen, but if she couldn’t do this job with as compassionate a heart as I’d been told I did, then she would be forced to step aside. I needed to get to the bottom of why she would put her own family—a girl whose mother she pretended to be for a very long time—through such horrific torture. No matter what Morgana had done to me, Lily was her family; how could she be so adamant about punishing her?

  “How do you feel?” David asked in his deep, milky voice.

  I looked up as the car vanished into the night, my tired eyes taking in only the bright lights behind his shadowed face. “Honestly, I just want to go to bed.”

  “Come on then.” He reached down and picked up my hand. “Harry fell asleep on a chair about an hour ago. We’ll use him as an excuse to leave.”

  “Why do we need an excuse?”

  “I’m in the band.” He jerked his head to the ballroom inside, where everyone else was headed. “Everyone’s expecting to drag this out until one.”

  I checked my watch. It was still early, only ten-thirty, but after an early start and an emotional day, it felt later. “Who will play lead?”

  He shrugged. “Who cares? Between us, we have enough musicians in the room. They’ll be fine.”

  My ears pricked then, tuning in to the sweet voice and the gentle strum of an acoustic guitar on stage. He sounded different to David, as if maybe I expected them to sound the same because they were twins, his voice softer and more timid, but in a very mature and sexy way.

  “You always did love my brother’s voice when he sung,” David said.

  With a bit of effort, I brought my ears back to this moment. “I hope all this talent in your blood gets passed on to all of our children.”

  His eyes went to my belly. “I just had a thought.”

  “Which is?”

  “This baby”—he took both my hands and drew me closer—“it’ll be the first half-human baby in our family.”

  “It will, won’t it?” My eyes widened. “I wonder what it’ll be like.”

  “More like you, I’d say—probably Lilithian, with the change not occurring until late twenties or with the help of blood.”

  “What’s Harry?” I asked. “I never even asked if he drinks blood?”

  David shook his head. “He’s never needed it. We’ll let him try all three kinds of blood when he’s twenty-five or so, and see what happens.”

  “And what if he doesn’t turn?”

  “Then we turn him vampire the way humans are turned.”

  “And what if that doesn’t work—like with half-bloods?”

  He pressed his hand to my upper arm. “Let’s not think about that for now, okay?”

  “Okay,” I said, but my heart felt heavy with worry. This new baby would be half-Lilithian, half-human. It wouldn’t be anything like what I was. My pureblood father was vampire, and with a human mate, a Lilithian was born. There was no saying that Lilithian and human would create Lilithian. If I were Vampire having a child with a human, it would be a half-blood and, in that case, it would not be capable of the change. And it would not be immortal.

  “Stop worrying,” he demanded sweetly. “And let’s go home. I thought I’d lost you today. I need to spend all night making love to you.”

  I had to smile at that. “That sounds nice.” My eyes followed Lily as she left a group of laughing women and headed toward the steps. “After I speak with Lily.”

  David stayed put as I ran to catch up with her. What needed to be said had to be done out here, away from other people. If she refused my request, she would be very firmly put in her place and, out of respect, I didn’t want to do that in front of her loyal subjects.

  “Lily.”

  “Yes, my darling?” She turned to face me, her friendly smile giving me second thoughts.

 
“We need to discuss Morgana.”

  “Yes.” The smile became an expectant one.

  “You already know what I’m going to say.”

  “Yes.” She took a step down to my level. “But I wonder why you would feel that way after what she did to you, and I also wonder if you have discussed this request with your husband.” Her gaze moved to include David in the conversation. He wandered over slowly, eyes fixing mine in place.

  “What’s she talking about, Ara?”

  “Drake wants Morgana set free—”

  “No!” David said firmly. “Out of the question.”

  “She can remain in prison,” I said. “But without the torture.”

  “Ara, why?” He grabbed both my shoulders. “After everything she did to us—”

  “Because after everything you did to her, David, I think she’s suffered enough now.”

  “I—” He looked at Lily then at me, shaking his head. “How can you say that?”

  “David, please remember, Ara doesn’t understand what you both suffered—”

  “Then she needs to see it to understand!”

  “You would truly make her relive that just to prevent her from helping Morgana?”

  “Yes!” He cupped my head and brought his closer. “Look into my mind, Ara. You need to see; you need to understand what you’re asking of us.”

  “Not here.” Lily put her hand on David’s forearm, pushing him away from my head. “She will be overcome with emotion.”

  “No I won’t.” I backed away from David. “Because I won’t be looking at that memory. I don’t need to. It was horrid, but what he did to her was too. This isn’t fair, Lily. How can you not see that?”

  “How can you advocate for her?” David said. “She cut pieces out of us. She killed you, Ara—”

  “And you shoved knives into her orifices, David!” I reminded him. “She deserves to be locked up, for good. But not tortured.”

  David sighed impatiently and Lily just smiled, closing her eyes slowly before opening them again. “You have a kind heart, my darling girl, but Morgana’s punishment stands.”

  “I will fight you on this,” I said as she turned away.

  “And you will lose.”

  “Grrr!” My teeth ground together so hard I felt one chip. I hated her right then. She could be so infuriating!

  “Ara, don’t.” David’s hand shot out to grab my arm. “She is your Queen. You must not forget that.”

  “She’s being unfair.”

  “She’s doing what she thinks is right, and it is your duty to follow her command.”

  “The hell it is.”

  “It is!” he said firmly. “Because you are no longer Queen, and I know that’s hard for you. You may not remember being the queen, but you clearly still hold some passion for the job, and yet you hold no respect for it. For Lily. For the fact that she is your sovereign.”

  “You’re only saying that because you agree with her.”

  “Yes. I do. But if you put that aside, you have no right to question her.”

  “I have every right! She took my position, David. I didn’t give it to her—”

  “And you took hers. You took her soul, and she gave you life by offering half of it. Don’t piss her off, Ara.”

  “Or what? Is she gonna take the soul back?”

  “I don’t know.” He held my gaze, both hands on my arms, clammy and wet with stress. “But I love you too much to watch you make a mistake like this over Morgana—”

  “I promised him, David,” I said, my voice cracking. “I promised Drake I’d help her.”

  “So that’s what this is about.” He looked off at nothing for a second, sighing. After a moment, he pulled me in to his chest and held on tight, kissing my head. “You’re trying to win him over.”

  It hadn’t occurred to me until he put it into words that I had actually been trying to win his love. He despises me because I walked away looking like the victim. He stayed behind to care for the woman that hurt me. And yet I wanted him to love me, be as dedicated to me as he was to her.

  “A lot’s happened today,” David said softly. “You’re tired. I’m drunk. We need to go home, sleep this off, and we can talk about it all tomorrow with a clear head. If you put your argument forward and you can convince me you’re right, I’ll help you convince Lily.”

  “Really?” I rolled my face up to look at him.

  He smiled down at me. “Sweetheart, I love you. If ending Morgana’s torture matters so much to you that you’re willing to risk pissing off our queen, I’ll help you. But you need to think long and hard about whether you really do agree this is right, or if you’re only doing it to make Drake love you.”

  “Okay then.” I nodded. “I’ll sleep on it and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

  * * *

  I woke in a cold sweat.

  He raped me. My vagina had been cut open and I was raped by my own husband, but I didn’t remember it. I hadn’t even dreamed about it. But it did occur to me, as thoughts of it all ambled throughout my dreams, defragmenting inside my brain, that Morgana was being raped over and over again.

  She tortured David and I for what happened to her last time. If she was ever freed, what would she do to seek revenge this time?

  I knew it then as deep as I knew my core values: she could never be freed. She could never be trusted, but I would not lie in my bed and sleep peacefully ever again knowing my own sister, evil as she was, was being raped repeatedly.

  David didn’t stir as I threw the covers back and hopped out of his bed. He was still fully clothed, his tie hanging loose from his neck, laying in exactly the same position I’d found him when I came out of the bathroom before we went to bed. I’d been a little disappointed that we weren’t ending this night making love, but after laying beside him, I’d fallen asleep within seconds. And now there would be no sleep for me again, which means Lily wouldn’t sleep either. Besides, Brett hadn’t looked at me all night. Before I woke Lily to discuss Morgana’s options, I needed to hug him and tell him it was all okay.

  It was cold outside for November. By the time I reached the corner where mine and Brett’s house stood proudly overlooking the street, my fingers were stiff and Mike’s garden boots were giving me blisters. No one was awake inside, obviously, so it shocked me out of my own skin when Brett suddenly appeared as I pushed the door open.

  “What are you doing here?” he whispered.

  “I needed to talk to Lily—”

  “She’s asleep.”

  “I know. I will be waking her.”

  “Why?”

  I took his hand and dragged him into the kitchen. “I want her to end Morgana’s torture.”

  Brett didn’t react the way I expected him to. He didn’t argue or laugh condescendingly at me. He just smiled and sat down at the counter. “I knew this would eventually happen.”

  “Do you agree with me?”

  “In ways, no. And in other ways, yes. But you don’t have the full story, and I think, if you did, you might not be seeking her a lesser punishment.”

  “What’s the full story then?” I sat down beside him, closing my fingers together under my chin.

  “It’s not my place.” He put both hands up. “David will never forgive me if I say anything.”

  “You kissed me, Brett, and he saw it. It’s not likely he’s ever going to be friends with you again anyway.”

  “Argh!” He hid his face behind his hands. “I’d almost forgotten about that.”

  I laughed, pulling his hands down. “Don’t stress it, okay? I understand. I mean, if David beat me because of the curse then…” I paused at the look of horror that crossed his face.

  “He did what?”

  “Um…” Shit. “He… he just… the curse got the better of him one day and he… he kinda tried to beat the ‘old’ Ara out of me.”

  Brett was speechless, and very clearly angrier than he’d ever been in his life. “So that’s what you meant—on the stairs today, when yo
u asked him about the surge?”

  “Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? It’s in the past—”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” He sounded hurt. “Why would you keep something like that from me?”

  “Because you’re immortal. And David’s not.”

  “And you knew I’d kill him?”

  I nodded.

  He reached over and took my hand, closing his eyes tight. “I’m so sorry, Ara.”

  “I’m okay.”

  “I know you are. You’re strong. You always have been, but you should have told me about that.” He leaned closer and touched my face. “You must have needed me then and I wasn’t able to be there for you.”

  I brought his hand down to the countertop. “I did need you. But knowing you’d kill him if I told you made me feel better.”

  He laughed. “And… do you forgive me for kissing you today—well, for trying to make you leave David and run away with me?”

  “Of course I do.” I leaned my head on his shoulder, smiling to myself. “I love you, Brett. Nothing will ever change that, and I’m going to do everything in my power to end this curse—”

  “End it?”

  “Mm-hm.” I nodded, sitting up. “I’m making it my life’s mission to break it.”

  “Ara, that’s not possible.”

  “So you all keep saying. But I don’t believe that. If it’s possible to curse someone, it is possible to uncurse them.”

  Brett laughed, the long dimples arching around his mouth. “Is uncurse even a word?”

  “You tell me.” I shrugged. “I’m still learning to talk.”

  He laughed, but his eyes became distant, obviously going over the journey we’d been on to get here.