Possession
Page 26
My children, our children were gifted to us, and even though each day was different, at any moment shit could fall out from under me. My meds were still working, my head was as clear as it was going to get, and I had my family.
“Da-Da.” Royal rose to his feet, and wobbled as he caught his balance.
He walked on unsure legs, stepping in his paint and leaving footprints in his wake as he moved toward me. I held out my arms and he fell into me, smudging Indie’s paints, making her cry.
Paige laughed and stood, wiping her hands on her overalls. “Awe, come here, my sad little girl.”
Royal traced his fingers across the ink on my chest leaving a trail of paint on my bare skin. “I think we should shower before we head over to Liam’s,” I suggested and Paige nodded and leaned down to pick up Indie.
I settled Royal onto my left hip and he ran his hands through my hair.
“You’re a mess.” Paige’s eyes creased as she laughed and wiped what I assumed was paint from my forehead.
“This is nothing new.” I gave her a lopsided grin and I leaned in and kissed Indie on the nose before raising my gaze to Paige.
Paige’s lips naturally parted for me, the rose in her cheeks still burned to a crimson when I gave her my full attention.
I cupped her face with my right hand, my thumb dusting along the length of her cheek, and I kissed her, softly at first, but she tasted like candy canes, and I gave myself over to her control. She kissed me until I groaned, capturing the sound and then pulled away.
I kissed her cheek and brought my lips to her ear and she shivered as I whispered, “Merry Christmas, Paige.”
THE END
First, thank you for reading. As always I am grateful for you, and I hope you enjoyed Declan and Paige’s story.
I knew when I wrote this book, I’d be riding, for some people, a precarious line of morality. Whether you’re pro-choice or pro-life, religious or atheist… it doesn’t matter. That’s not what this book is about. I wanted to write a story about a mental illness that has affected me, in some ways, personally. I work as a psychiatric nurse, and I see these things. I wanted to give two characters a real life, have them make tough choices, and explore how I could, in the end, have their happiness blot out all of their dark.
Possession has no agenda, has no real stance… it’s a fictional story written from my heart.
Depression is real, psychosis is real… if you suffer from anything in this story, I encourage you to seek help. I have such low moments, but then there are brilliant moments, too. I know what it’s like to be in The Bell Jar and writing this story as much as I enjoyed it, it was an act of therapy, as well.
“You can only come to the morning through the shadows.” J. R. R. Tolkien
If you are in emotional distress or struggling to cope, and are affected by any of the issues covered in this book, please contact:
National Suicide Crisis Line: Call 1-800-2738255
The Samaritans USA 1(800) 273-TALK
The Samaritans UK 08457 90 90 90
As always, thank you to my readers… You are the support and the very legs I stand on.
My family, you guys are my rock, my foundation, my metaphor for solid things… Love you, Wolverine, and our little cubs.
To my beta team, um, yeah… you rock:
Anna, Laurie, Kelly, Melissa, Marissa, Cornelia, Karlee, Christy, Lucy, Taylor, Hayley, Emma, Lisa, Stephanie A., Mg, Sarah, Michelle, Crystal, Gio, and Simmy. Whether you have to deal with chapter to chapter reads, or second rounds or proofs, you ladies make my work shine, help me emotionally, and keep me sane… even when dieting and I can’t have fucking Oreos…
To AJ’s Crew (Jo, Jellie, Lisa, Anna, Michelle, Narine, Lacey, Mg, and Lucy) and my IG family, I’d be passed out, covered in tater tots and chewed up Oreo crumbs if it wasn’t for you. Big, HUGE… side hugs.
To my editing team, thank you for finding all my errors and making sure my ducks were in a row, and for dealing with my whining.
To Kathleen, your comments keep me sane.
To Sassy Savvy Fabulous, Kristi, thank you for having faith in me and for making me feel relevant.
To my friends… I can’t even begin… I don’t have the words. You know who you are and you know I love you more than peanut butter M&Ms.
Special Thanks to Hayley Stumbo, Ace Gray, M. Andrews, Danielle Rocco, Linda Oaks, A. Wilding Wells, A. Cramton, Steph Alba, Tali Alexander, Jaci Wheeler, and Jodi Drake, you ladies show true kindness, you give without expectation, and you deserve all the success.
I’ve probably forgotten someone and will feel like a dick later about it, but please know I love your freaking faces.
As always, if you are in my life, you know I love you. My heart is your heart. A~
“Get Hurt” by The Gaslight Anthem
“I Of The Storm” by Of Monsters and Men
“Runaway” by Aurora
“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” by She & Him
“Get On The Road” by Tired Pony
“Sleep” by Azure Ray
“Superstar” by Broods
“Letters From The Sky” by Civil Twilight
“’Till I Collapse” by Eminem
“Jet Black Heart” by 5 Seconds of Summer
“Phenomenal” by Eminem
“i hate u, i love u” by gnash, Olivia O’Brien
“Never Forget You” by Zara Larsson, MNEK
“Clarity” by Andy Lange, Andrew Garcia
“Evergreen” by Broods
“Hate Me” by Blue October
“Just Say Yes” by Snow Patrol
“Don’t Deserve You” by Plumb
“Gasoline” by Halsey
“Jesus Christ” by Brand New
“The Resolution” by Jack’s Mannequin
“Brick” by Ben Folds Five
“True Colors” by Ane Brun
“Windows” by AWOLNATION
“Love Story” by Yelawolf
“I See Fire” by Jasmine Thompson
“This Love” by Craig Armstrong
“Everybody Hurts” by Jasmine Thompson
“Till The End of Time” by A Boy and His Kite
“Condemnation” by Depeche Mode
“Unsteady” by X Ambassadors
“Silent All These Years” by Tori Amos
“Paralyzed” by NF
“Sane” by Fear of Men
“No Light, No Light” by Florence + The Machine
“Over The Ocean” by Low
“What I’ve Done” by Marie Digby
“Rescue Me” by Unions
“Pretty Thoughts” by Galmatias, Alina Baraz
“Ocean Eyes” by Billie Eilish
“Crystals” by Of Monsters and Men
“Turning Page” by Noah Guthrie
“Paint” by The Paper Kites
“You Got Me” By The Roots, Erykah Badu
A.M. Johnson lives in Utah with her family where she works as a full-time nurse. If she’s not busy with her three munchkins, you’ll find her buried in a book or behind the keyboard. She loves romance and all things passionate. Amanda enjoys exploring all genres and bringing life to the human experience.
Still Life (Forever Still #1)
Still Water (Forever Still #2)
Still Surviving (Forever Still #3)
Now and Forever Still Novella
Sacred Hart
Coming Soon
Kingdom (Avenues Ink #2)
A.M. Johnson writing as
Lillian Bryant
Beneath the Vine
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