Paying the Price

by Julia P. Lynde

  The captain was staring at me. I wasn't wearing a simple dress. I was wearing what was clearly a court dress, done in the Norinian style. I wasn't wearing any jewelry, but as much as I could, I carried myself as a princess. I stopped and looked at him.

  "Please don't," Dareena said to me.

  She had gotten all the favors from me she was getting, and she hadn't offered any in return. I turned back to the captain.

  "Captain," I said loudly and clearly in Norinian. "I am Her Royal Highness, Princess Meorie of Norinia, heir to Queen Linara, first in line for the throne of Norinia. Thank you kindly for your hospitality."

  Then I stepped past him while Dareena swore in Tendarian. She exchanged more words with the captain. I stepped down the passageway and onto the deck of the ship, waiting for her.

  Dareena caught up to me and hissed, "That was foolish. You will speak to no one until we are before the queen."

  I turned to her and clearly mouthed the word, "Bitch." But I followed docilely as she led the way from the ship. There was a small carriage waiting for us.

  "Get in," she said into my ear. I climbed into the carriage then made a point of being in her way when she tried to climb in after me. Yes, it was petty, but what else did I have remaining to me?

  She squeezed into the carriage and said something out the window, and then we were rolling forward.

  I didn't bother looking out the windows. I was working on becoming dead inside. It wasn't working, but I was trying. I stared straight ahead, somewhere over Dareena's shoulder as she sat on the seat opposite me. She shifted so our legs were touching, but I shifted away. She shifted again, watching me. I mouthed the word "Bitch" again and shifted away. Soon I found myself tight in the corner of the carriage trying to escape her touch. All she accomplished was letting me know she could be far more petty than I was.

  "Meorie," she said. "I'm trying to give you what comfort I can. I know my touch feels good to you."

  I glared at her and shoved her legs away from me.

  She took the hint and left me alone.

  The streets of Rendarin must have curved, as our route to the palace was not straight.

  "Mother knows I have arrived," Dareena said. "No one knows that you are with me. We will go straight to court and present ourselves. There may be a lot of people there, if she was already holding court over some issue or another, or it may be whoever can be assembled quickly."

  I heard what she was saying but gave no indication.

  "When we get out, you will follow immediately behind me. You will keep your head down and address no one until we are before the queen. Do you understand?"

  "Yes."

  After several more minutes, the carriage pulled to a stop. Dareena looked out the window and said, "We're here. Meorie, I am sorry."

  She hadn't given me permission to speak, so I didn't respond. She was lying anyway.

  She stepped out of the carriage, then held the door for me. I followed her, then kept my head down as she had ordered. I didn't get much view of the palace, but it was obviously quite opulent. It had that in common with the palace in Darlor.

  She turned and I obediently followed on her heels. We passed through into the palace, Dareena announcing herself and waiting for the guards to open the doors. We collected an honor guard of four guardsmen, two in front, two behind. Dareena led me into the palace until we came to an ornate set of doors. She stopped in front of it, and the guards opened the doors.

  We stepped into the court room. I glanced ahead and saw a woman sitting on a throne at the other end of the room. I decided that was Dareena's mother, the queen. I also decided that we were now before the queen, which meant the end of the orders I had received. Other than the longstanding orders to make no attempt to escape, I was under no particular compulsion.

  I looked around. The room was full. There was clearly some sort of proceedings going on, with numerous people in court attire between us and the queen. Dareena stopped at the back of the room and waited. For what, I didn't know.

  I decided I didn't care, either. She wasn't paying attention to me, so sure she was I would follow docilely. I took a step to the side, then another. Then I began humming loudly enough to drown out anything she might say, and I began striding through the crowd, stepping past and around the people between me and the queen.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Dareena's surprise, and she said something, but she'd said it quietly, and I couldn't hear her. I moved as quickly as my shoes and the dress would allow, putting more distance between me and the woman who could stop me.

  Some of the people I passed seemed annoyed, but they took a look at my clothing, far finer than the clothes they were wearing. They saw the look of determination in my face, and they left me be. A few glanced over their shoulders and stepped aside, allowing me to pass.

  I continued to hum, hoping to drown out any orders Dareena was casting my way. I was sure she must be saying something, but if I couldn't hear her, I couldn't be forced to comply.

  I arrived at the front of the audience. Before me were several people kneeling to the queen. Facing me on the dias was the queen herself. With her were two men who looked like they might be ministers. There were guards all over the room, but none was particularly close to me.

  The queen hadn't noticed my passage through the room but then I stepped forward, assuming as regal a bearing as I could, and stepped around the people kneeling on the floor. I didn't kneel.

  The queen stared at me in shock. The room behind me grew abuzz, which only helped to further drown out Dareena's commands.

  The queen said something curtly to me. Of course, it was in Tendarian, and I didn't understand a word.

  I opened my mouth and raised my voice in the way I had long been trained. "I am Her Royal Highness, Princess Meorie, heir to Queen Linara, first in line to the throne of Norinia. I understand you wished to speak with me. Something about a trial."

  I had presented myself to the palace for my trial, satisfying the requirements of the collar. I heard it click, and I pulled it from my neck. Dareena came out of the crowd behind me, and I threw the collar at her feet.

  The room had become silent at hearing my Norinian voice, and they surely must have recognized my name. Then the roar started.

  Dareena arrived at my side and bent down to kneel to her mother.

  "You need to kneel!" she hissed at me. "Kneel!"

  "You no longer command me," I said to her, then ignored her continued orders and entreaties to kneel.

  The room was roaring with noise, but not a single person approached me. Queen Fridara raised her voice loudly, saying a single word, and the room immediately fell silent with just a small echo from the rafters for a brief moment.

  Then, looking straight at me, she said another word. I didn't know what it was, but just looked at her calmly, my head held high.

  "She ordered you to kneel," Dareena said from her kneeling position at my side.

  "She isn't my queen," I said loudly enough for the people immediately around me to hear. "She is the sworn enemy of my country. I do not accept her orders nor offer her the allegiance implied by kneeling."

  The queen reacted, telling me she spoke Norinian. That's what I really wanted to know. Then she schooled her features.

  I didn't see any gestures from anyone on the dias, but from the corner of my eye, I saw a guard step up behind me. I was expecting it, but it still hurt when he thrust the butt of the spear rudely into my back. I sprawled to the floor, yelping. Then, the tip of his spear in my back, I slowly climbed to my feet and smiled at the queen.

  The guard hit me again, and I sprawled. This time, I felt the spear point draw blood from my back as I stood back up.

  "Just kneel!" Dareena said.

  The guard waited a moment then hit me again. Each time I cried out, but each time I stood back up.

  The fourth time, two guards stepped forward and forcibly moved me into a kneeling position. They were strong and rough, and one of them cloute
d me to the side of the head before grabbing my arms.

  "I see you know how to treat a princess in Tendaria," I said to the queen. I received another hit from the guard. "Nice to meet you, too," I told her. I was hit again. "This is the treatment I told your daughter I would receive." I was hit hard enough to sag in the arms of the men holding me. I hung there for a moment, then straightened up and looked directly at the queen. I got hit for it. I looked up, got hit. Before I looked up the next time, I said, "Do your men enjoy hitting women?" Then I looked up again and got hit.

  I decided I'd made my point, at least for now. I hung limply and made the men support me. When one of them grew lax, I pulled my arm from his hold and slammed my elbow into his knee as hard as I could.

  That earned me a solid beating that went on for a while and knocked the remaining fight out of me.

  I ignored the conversation between Fridara and Dareena. It was in Tendarian, so I wouldn't have understood anyway. I hung limply from the guard's arms.

  The discussion went on for a while, then another guard strode forward carrying shackles. My wrists were shackled behind my back and I was pulled rudely to my feet, then shackles were attached to my ankles. Dareena was watching all of this, and I looked at her. "This is your justice," I told her. "This is your proper treatment. Isn't it pretty?"

  I was dragged away.

  It turns out they had a dungeon. I expected nothing less. I didn't see anything that looked like a torture room. I was dragged to a cell with stone walls and floor and a heavy door in the doorway. They thrust me into the room, and I sprawled on the floor. The door was slammed closed.

  They hadn't removed my shackles.

  There was no light, just a tiny glimmer from the bottom of the door. I crawled until I encountered the wall, then levered myself into an uncomfortable sitting position. I wondered how long I would have to wait like that.

  I think I slept. I wasn't sure. I don't know how long I was there, but it didn't feel like the next day, so I presumed several hours only. There was noise at the door, then it opened. Dareena appeared in the doorway, holding a lantern. She stepped in and looked down at me.

  "I'm sorry."

  I didn't respond, but I rolled around so she could see my hands were still shackled.

  She swore.

  "Were you honestly expecting me to be treated differently?"

  "You could have behaved."

  "Do you honestly think that would have made any significant difference? Your country needs someone to punish. That someone is going to be me. And everyone who can is going to take their opportunity, starting with the guards and ending with the executioner. Your mother will be in the middle somewhere. The only thing that isn't sure is whether there is a torturer involved at any point."

  "You don't have to be so proud," she said.

  "Ah yes, I could grovel." I paused. "I suspect I will eventually. Everyone breaks." I sighed. "What do you want? Come to gloat?"

  "I came to see if you were all right."

  I looked around the room with the light from her lantern. "Nice quarters. Very fitting. The floor is doing wonders for my fashionable appearance."

  "Mother has offered more appropriate quarters if you agree to kneel to her."

  "Tell me, did you kneel to my sister?"

  "Briefly once."

  "I see. Did you look her in the eye?"

  "Yes."

  "Did the guards repeatedly hit you for it?" She didn't respond. "What do you think would have happened if you hadn't knelt? Would you have been given accommodations such as these?"

  "I am trying to help you."

  "If you want to help me, you will do everything you can to bring this trial to a speedy start and a speedy finish followed by a speedy, clean execution. However, I suspect the entire country is ecstatic to have me suffer for a while first."

  She turned around and stood there. I didn't want her to leave, but I didn't want her to stay, either.

  "Why are you being so stubborn?" she asked.

  "Am I supposed to make it easy for you to put a pretty face on all of it?"

  She didn't say anything but started to step out the door. My heart broke.

  "Dareena."

  She turned around.

  "I'm scared."

  She walked back in and knelt in front of me. "I thought you weren't afraid to die."

  "I'm not," I said. I looked around. "How long before I go mad in here?"

  "What?"

  "There are rats. And other things. I don't deal well with dark places. I don't deal well with not knowing. How long before I'm mad? If you want to help me, please put an end to this as quickly as you can. I don't want to go mad."

  I started to cry, then I got mad and glared at her. "This is your justice. This is what your treachery has brought me to. My sister's treachery. My uncle's. You all need a scapegoat. Good night. Have a nice meal and a comfortable bed."

  She stood up and walked away, breaking my heart again.

  "Dareena. The worst part is, I love you. Can you believe it? I love you. How sick is that?"

  "I am sorry," she said. The door closed behind her, leaving me in the dark.

  Propped in the corner of the cold cell, I still slept. I woke on and off, growing increasingly stiff from my position and the cold.

  I cried a lot, which I hated, as it increased the pounding headache.

  I woke and realized I really needed to relieve myself, but I was still dressed in a dress I couldn't take off without help. I tried very hard to suppress my needs. I slept.

  Each time I woke, the need was greater. I managed not to embarrass myself.

  Then I awoke to noise at the door. I was hoping it was Dareena, but it was the guards. They stood in the doorway, laughing at me. Then one of them stepped forward with a tray of food and a mug. They set both down on the floor near the door to the cell.

  There were two rats perched on the tray, and the food was crawling. They held a lantern near the food to make sure I got a good look, then closed the door to the cell.

  I decided that was probably breakfast.

  The rats finished their meal, then I heard their feet on the floor as they explored the room. When I felt one come close to me, I kicked out at it, but it was feeble. Still, they left me alone. I didn't know where the bugs went, but I didn't feel any crawling on me.

  Sometime during what I presumed was the day, my bladder decided it had lasted as long as it was going to last, and I soiled myself. One more indignity to thank my sister for.

  I dozed, propped in the corner of the room. I dreamed. I dreamed when I was young, and my mother was still alive. Then she turned to me and told me how ashamed she was of me.

  I woke sobbing.

  I cried myself back to sleep and dreamt of a day four years ago, of all the bodies, and then the bodies climbed to their feet and all pointed to me. I was familiar with that dream. It barely shook me up anymore. Still, I woke with my heart pounding.

  I dozed, had horrible dreams, and woke.

  There was noise at the door. It opened, and the guards were there. New guards. They cleared the remnants of breakfast and set down another tray. No rats this time, but instead there was a large pile of feces on the plate. Again, they made sure I got a good look before they closed the door.

  I decided that was dinner. My first full day experiencing the wonderful hospitality Tendaria had to offer a princess of Norinia.

  * * *

  At some point during the night, my bowels relaxed, and I soiled myself further.

  * * *

  The next day went much the same as the first.

  * * *

  As did the day after that.

  * * *

  Sometime after my breakfast of rats and bugs, the door opened. I didn't even react. Then I heard Dareena's scream.

  I looked up and she was dancing away from the rats and bugs.

  I hadn't had any food or water in three days. I was probably delirious. I laughed watching her dance. It was a very hoarse laugh
.

  Dareena began screaming at someone, presumably the guards, as one of them came and cleared the plate away. The rats jumped off and scampered into the cell. The guard laughed and walked away.

  Dareena stepped into the room and began screaming again. The guards came back, and she was pointing at my family of pet rats over in the corner opposite me. The guards laughed and disappeared, but then they came back with a broom each and chased the rats out of the room, laughing at their game.

  I watched Dareena shudder then she stepped into the cell, looking around for more rats. She approached me.

  "You don't want to get too close," I told her. "I'm sure I'm crawling with bugs."

  Then I giggled uncontrollably.

  "I love your hospitality. Your mother offers every kindness."

  I giggled.

  "Meorie, look at me," Dareena ordered.

  "Not your slave anymore," I said. "How long can someone go without water? Will I die before the trial?"

  "What?"

  Then I looked at her.

  "They said they were giving you food and water."

  "You saw my breakfast. Dinner has been feces. Human, I believe. A mug of something has been left by the door, but I can't exactly pick it up, and it's probably piss anyway. I haven't bothered to check."

  "Is that why it stinks in here?"

  "I haven't exactly been taken to the facilities, and pride and stubbornness only lasted so long. I'm sorry to offend your sensibilities."

  I giggled again.

  "If you knelt to mother, you could have proper accommodations."

  I sighed. "Your mother undoubtedly ordered those soldiers to break me. It's working, by the way, but I'm hoping to be delirious from lack of water first. There is no way she has earned my respect. You can carry me and toss me at her feet, but I will not kneel willingly." I paused. "I know I'll break eventually. Has it been three days?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, I won't make it another three days. You can tell her it's working. The two of you can laugh about it."

  "Mother wouldn't have ordered this."

  "Go ask her. Watch carefully to see if she lies to you. Did you order the soldiers to unshackle my arms when you were here last?"