The Secret Saddle_Anna Troy's Emancipation

by Dani Larsen

  George drove the horses as fast as he could without it being a dangerous ride for his wife and child that he adored. As they entered Union County there was packed down snow on the ground under the rig and soft mounds on the side of the road, but the gray clouds of winter didn't look stormy. The sky was starting to look dark just before the family got to the Hempe Ranch. It was starting to sprinkle and the temperature had dropped several degrees by the time they got into the house, and George got the buggy put away in the barn.

  "What a beautiful baby, aren't you two proud?" Caroline was so happy to see them. "I have a new grandbaby! Look Frank, he has an angel face."

  "He is a handsome one." Frank looked at the tiny bundle. "What did you name him?"

  "John Francis, Pa, after you and Anna's pa." George was happy to tell his father.

  "Good solid name for a son!" Frank was happy that the new baby would have his name, even if it was a middle name.

  George's sisters and brother were excited to greet their new nephew too. They all wanted to take turns holding him. It didn't take long before he started to cry, and Anna knew it was time to feed him. Just then, there was a knock on the door, and Jude and the rest of the ranch hands were at the door wanting to see the new baby.

  Anna wasn't too happy to see Jude, but knew she had to be nice. The men all crowded around Anna and the baby, and she held him up so they could all see him. The men said all the right things to make Frank and George Hempe proud.

  "Come on in fellas. This is a reason to celebrate. Caroline, bring out the whiskey. It's time for a toast. In fact, stop working for the day, we will celebrate and then have supper."

  Anna took the baby to their small room where George had taken the cradle, and sat on the bed nursing her baby. Tears came flowing down her cheeks as she sorely missed her family already. She loved George's family too, but after spending a few weeks with her own family she realized how much she had missed them and wanted to see them more often. She had fallen asleep with her baby in her arms when there was a knock on the door.

  "Come in."

  Caroline peeked in through the door.

  "Is everything okay, Anna?"

  "It's fine, Caroline, I'm just overly tired. It was a long ride from Pleasant Valley to here."

  "Supper is ready, honey. Can I take the baby for a few minutes? I haven't got to hold him yet."

  "Of course you can. He is your grandbaby too. I'm sorry. I guess I just wasn't thinking."

  "Thank you, honey. I've been dying to cuddle this little cutie."

  Anna rose and handed her tiny son to her mother-in-law.

  "I will be out in a minute. Just let me freshen up a bit"

  Caroline took the baby in the main room, and Anna went to the pitcher and bowl on the dresser and splashed some water on her face. Then she brushed her long hair and straightened up her skirt before she walked in the other room. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Jude taking the baby from her mother-in-law.

  "Let me hold the little feller for a minute, Mrs. Hempe. I've always been good with children."

  Everyone was sitting at the big rustic table, and Caroline and her daughters were putting the food on the table. George was sitting next to Jude, and beaming as Jude cooed over the baby. As Anna came over, Jude looked at her with a smirk on his face. Thankfully the baby started to cry just then, so Anna quickly took her child out of his hands.

  "He's a fine baby, Anna. I can't wait for him to get big enough, so I can teach him how to ride." The ranch hand said laughing.

  Anna got a cold chill down her spine at the thought, and she was suddenly filled with dread. She would talk to George tomorrow about getting a cabin somewhere, anywhere but here. She could not live here until her child was old enough to ride. She didn't trust that Jude Burden for a minute.

  Chapter Four

  "Bad Memories Return"

  1909 ~ 1910

  Anna hadn't thought about what happened to her, when she was a child, for many years. She had successfully put those memories deep in the recesses of her mind, and she wanted them to stay there. Suddenly, she started revisiting those happenings in her dreams. The first time it happened she awoke with a start, finding herself sweating, even though it was freezing outside. She got up immediately and went to the cradle to check on Little John. The cold floor on her feet was like a shock to her senses, but it helped her to cool down and wake up.

  When the nightmare came back the very next night it was even more upsetting, and she tried to figure out why after all these years; she was dreaming about what had happened when she was four years old. She decided it must be because she was now a mother, and those new instincts told her how scary it must have been for her mother. Although the incident terrified her, she had been able to suppress those memories until now. Suddenly that event came to the front of her mind as the thought of someone kidnapping her child brought terror to her heart, and she knew for the first time what her parents had felt. The memories began to return nightly in her dreams.

  Jeremiah and I are playing on the floor with the Chinese puzzles that Mama's friend, Ah Kim, gave us. Auntie Kate comes in with tears streaming down her face. We just keep playing until Mama starts crying too. Then Jeremiah starts crying also. He is only two. I get his attention and start making faces to entertain him. Mama and Auntie are holding each other and crying, when Da and Uncle Sean come in.

  "What's wrong, Kate?" We saw you riding up fast, and I could tell you were upset, even from a distance."

  Mama tells Da that Ah Kim is dead, and so are a lot of his cousins. Da is upset now too. He says that he and Uncle Sean are going into town to find out what happened to them.

  I keep playing with Jeremiah. I don't like it when Mama cries, or Jeremiah, so I try to make him happy. Auntie Kate fixes tea for Mama, trying to calm her down.

  "Try to stop crying, Mary; this is not good for the new babe in your belly."

  I didn't know Mama had a new baby in her belly until now. They sit at the large table drinking tea, not talking at all, but I see that Mama's face is wet with tears. I don't know what to do to make Mama feel better, so I just try to keep Jeremiah happy. Then it all happens.

  Three mean looking big men come in the front door, with guns in their hands. Mama stands up looking really scared, so I start to pick up Jeremiah, but the big man with the bald head and ugly nose grabs me and puts me under his arm. I'm terrified and start crying. Mama is running toward us as the man speaks harshly.

  "One step further, Mary, and you won't have a daughter anymore."

  I am so scared, and he is holding me so tight I can't breathe. I try to wiggle myself free, hoping to make him drop me, but he just holds me tighter. I can hardly move, much less speak or cry, as he holds me so tight. I stop wiggling when I see Jeremiah screaming, because he sees me gasping.

  "What do you want, Bane?" Mama's voice becomes shrill.

  "You know what I want, Mary! You have the deed to the mine. I know you do. Your yellow eyed friend told me you have it before I killed him."

  His laugh is so evil that I start to shiver.

  "I knew it was ye who did it the minute I heard he was killed. I don't have any old deed, so just put me little girl down."

  Mama looks so mad and so afraid at the same time. Aunt Kate grabs my arms and tries to take me away from him. I reach for her just as the man punches her in the face with his gun, and she falls to the floor. Jeremiah starts screaming louder and hitting the man who is holding him.

  "Put the brat down. We only need one." The man holding me hollers.

  The man standing by the door shouts. "Bane, someone is coming!"

  "Mary, I will give you until tomorrow morning to come up with the deed. If you want your daughter back alive, bring it to the top of Lookout Mountain tomorrow just after sunrise. Bring this bitch with you and the little brat too, but nobody else. I'll be watching, and this child will be dead if I see anyone else. Do you understand me, Mary?"

  Mama just nods as tears run down her
face. He turns around and walks out the door, with me under his arm still struggling desperately. The other man sits my screaming brother down hard on the floor, and they point their guns at Mama and Aunt Kate as they back out the door heading toward their horses.

  He keeps his arm around me as he roughly sits me in the saddle and climbs up behind me. He still holds me tight as we ride out of the yard, and I am still gasping for breath. I hear my da yell, and I'm able to turn my head around in time to see him jump off his horse and head into the house. When the man releases his hold on me a little, I start crying as I realize Da hadn't seen me and isn't going to save me. As I sit in front of him in the saddle, he is able to slap me and says, "Shut up you little brat," loudly into my ear. My face stings, and my head hurts, as I try to hold back the tears. I can't help making funny gasping sounds. The tears still flow silently as I am terrified.

  The memories flooded through her dreams. Anna felt the pain from that slap and couldn't breathe again. She was suddenly awake and realized it was the dream again, but the tears came as the reality of what had happened a long time ago finally came to the front of her mind. George turned over and opened his eyes.

  "What's the matter, Anna?"

  "It's nothing, George. I just had a bad dream, that's all."

  She wiped her eyes and took deep breaths as she tried to calm her racing heart. The baby started crying, so she got out of bed and went to the cradle. The cold hard floor made her shiver as she only had on a thin sleeping gown. She smiled at her little boy through her tears, as she changed his wet diaper, picked him up, and took him to the bed to nurse him. It was early and still dark outside, so the rooster hadn't crowed yet, but just as she wondered what time it was, the old bird said his good morning. George climbed out of bed, slipped on his breeches, and went into the main room to start the fire in the fireplace. She heard others in the house stirring as she held her sweet boy close, and felt tears running down her cheeks.

  Anna tried to stop thinking about the dream, but the memories kept flashing through her mind as she went through the day. The dreams had started after John was born, just snippets at first but now nine months later they were getting worse. It was as if the whole thing had happened just yesterday, and the fears of a four-year-old kept running through her head. When John was asleep, she went outside to wash his diapers and hang them on the line. Deep in thought, she didn't hear him come up behind her.

  "Mrs. Anna, how is that little guy doing?"

  She could hardly breathe, as she turned around to find Jude standing right behind her.

  "Oh, you startled me." She finally spoke after she got control of herself.

  "Sorry, ma'am, I just thought I would inquire about how the wee one is doing. I was heading out into the pasture."

  He seemed to sneer at her with every word. Suddenly, her mouth got so dry that she couldn't speak.

  "Well, I guess he is doing okay, as I see you are washing out and hanging up his diapers. You have a nice day now, Missy."

  He got that smirk on his face again, as he turned around and sauntered out toward the pasture. She started shaking and sat down on the large rock in the yard. Anna felt bile rising in her mouth, and she was afraid she was going to be sick. She took a couple of deep breaths trying to control the hysterical feeling that was overwhelming her. What is wrong with me? Why are these old memories coming back? Why am I so terrified of Jude? She took another deep breath, when she saw her mother-in-law come toward her after leaving the chicken coop.

  "Is everything okay, Anna? You look awfully pale."

  "I'm fine, Mother Hempe. I didn't sleep very well last night so I'm really tired."

  "Is that sweet little boy still keeping you awake at night? I haven't heard him for a few months now."

  "No, but I still get up and check on him every once in a while. I just can't seem to sleep very soundly."

  "Well, that just comes with being a mother, I guess. I remember so well. When I was young I could sleep through anything, but the minute George was born I was awake at the drop of a pin. You should be getting used to it as I don't think it ever goes away when you have children. I do hope you get more sleep though, you look really tired today."

  "I guess I just need to stop worrying about him so much."

  "Try some warm milk before bed. That might help you go to sleep better. I will heat you up some tonight."

  "Thank you. That would be very nice. I better go in and see if he's awake yet. He is not sleeping as long on his naps now."

  Caroline made her some warm milk that night, like she promised, and Anna drank all of it hoping to sleep better. After she nursed the baby and put him to bed, George came in and got ready for bed.

  "How did everything go today, George?"

  "It was a long day, Anna. I had to round up about thirty head of cattle that wandered way over to Uncle Anton's property. I searched at least fifty acres before I found them. I just don't understand how they got so far away from the other cattle. They usually all stay pretty close. Anton's land is completely on the other side of the property from where the rest of the cattle were roaming."

  "Do you think something spooked them?"

  "I don't know. It's possible, but I haven't seen any cougar tracks anywhere."

  "Could it have been a skunk?"

  "Well they certainly don't like skunks, but I would not have thought they would all have wandered that far. And I didn't smell a skunk. It just seems like I end up spending a lot of time doing things that a rancher with this many hands shouldn't have to be doing himself."

  "What were the other ranch hands doing?"

  "They were all busy; mucking out the stables, branding new calves, and slopping the pigs. It takes a lot to run a big ranch like this. I just can't wait to get our own place. It would feel a lot better if I was doing this for our family. That sounds selfish, I know, but I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels and not going anywhere."

  "How much longer do you think we will have to stay with your family, George? When do you think we will have enough money to get our own place?"

  "I don't know, Anna. Soon, I hope. How are you doing on getting things ready for our own place?"

  "I've got everything I need for the kitchen to start with, George. I've got dishes, eating and cooking utensils, sheets, pillow cases, and table cloths. What we will need is furniture . . . chairs, tables, kerosene lamps, and a bed."

  "I'm going to start making some furniture as soon as I have a few extra minutes. Once we get the stock to market, things will settle down a little bit."

  "I know you've been working real hard, George, but I do hope we can get our own place soon. I'm restless for us to make our own way, I guess."

  "I know, Anna. I'm hoping we can be on our own within the year."

  "I hope so, George. I hope so." She leaned over and kissed her husband goodnight, and then turned over to try to get some sleep. George blew out the lamp on the table next to the bed. The minute Anna closed her eyes, the terrible memories came back. Again, the same incident raced through her nightmares, and the face of the evil Mr. Bane was terrifying.

  "I want my mama. Please take me home."

  I am crying so hard by the time the horses stop that I can hardly get the words out.

  "I am cold and hungry. Please, I want my mama."

  "Just quit your damn yapping you little brat! You'll get some food as soon as we get it fixed. Here's a blanket. Go sit down. Mac, get the fire going."

  I wrap the blanket around me and stop sobbing; only letting the tears come quietly. My nose is running, so I wipe it on the blanket. My little dress is not keeping me warm. It has long sleeves and a long skirt, and I have on warm socks and high top shoes, but I have no coat and it is so cold.

  The man called "Mac" starts the fire and has it going pretty good within a few minutes. I stand as close to it as I can, trying to get warm, and finally I sit down on a rock close by. It is getting dark fast, and I am afraid of the dark or I would run away. I think about it, but I a
m not sure which way to go to find Mama and Da. I know Mama will find me the next day. I try to be quiet, as I don't want the big man to yell at me again. My tummy is making hungry noises, and I am feeling sick by the time they give me a tin bowl with beans in it and a hard piece of bread. They don't give me anything to eat with, and I don't know what to do until I see the man called "Mac" put his bread in his bowl and use it to sop up the beans and eat them off the bread. I start doing the same thing and eat all my beans using the bread as a spoon. It did soften the bread so I eat it when the beans are gone. Then Mac gives me a tin cup with coffee in it. It tastes bitter, but it is warm so I drink it. I am so cold, and it helps me to get warm.

  The men sit around the fire laughing and talking. Mac is the only one who is sort of nice to me. I can tell that I just irritate the big bald man, with the ugly scar on his face, and the one with the big hat just ignores me. Finally, they all lay down by the fire and go to sleep. I sit there shivering as the fire starts to burn low. I finally huddle between the big rock I was sitting on and the fire and fall asleep.

  When I wake up, the men are up and sitting by the fire eating. I see the tin bowl of beans in front of me and another hard piece of bread in it, with another tin cup full of coffee next to the bowl. I sit up, pick it up, and begin to eat. I am really, really hungry now, because I was still hungry after eating the night before. Only Mac is looking at me, and when I get done eating he speaks to me.

  "If you have to pee you can go over there to the edge of the woods."

  I am glad he says that, because I have to go really bad but am afraid to ask. I am afraid of the woods too and go in carefully, watching for wild animals that I know live there. As I am finishing my business, a large bird suddenly flies out of a pile of leaves at the base of a tree, which scares me to tears. I run out of the woods and back to the fire as my heart thumps loudly in my chest. After we are done eating, they put out the fire and load up their things. I just sit there until the big man speaks.