Bereft

by Jennifer Foor

  He rinsed his face, using his hands to rub over his five-o’clock shadow. “You said you wanted to forget. How’s it going so far, baby?”

  When he called me baby my heart fluttered. It was just a term of endearment I found sweet, especially for this scenario. “I think I need a breather.”

  He fastened his fist around a wad of my hair and pulled me into a deep tongue-filled kiss. I lost myself in it once again, succumbing to the fact that we were only beginning. This encounter was far from over, and I was already panting, exhausted even.

  Our intense make out allowed me to climb onto his lap. His huge erection pressed over my bottom, allowing me to anticipate our future events. He paused for a moment, kissing around my neck, while I closed my eyes. “Your pussy is so wet for me. I could slip inside without trying. Damn, I need to have it. I want to take you in my bed and fuck you so unbelievably hard you’ll forget anything else exists. For tonight it will just be us, you and me, our bodies connected, your mind clear and relaxed. Say the word and we’re there. Tell me not to stop.”

  “Don’t,” I abruptly answered. My heavy breathing was pretty obvious. Our tongues met before our lips were able to make contact. His hot breath was against my wet skin again, coursing over the area closest to my mouth. “Please don’t stop,” I reiterated.

  Chad reached up and turned off the water. He scooted over and stood, pulling me up with him. I was dizzy, needing to take a second to regain composure, because parts of me were still tingling. I launched my arms around his neck, awaiting on him to pick me up and carry me out. I didn’t have to ask. He attended to our predicament, lifting me so my legs wrapped around his waist. We were soaking wet, slowly moving across the tiled floor.

  The temperature changed once we were back in his bedroom. He plopped me down on his soft mattress before joining me, not caring we were still covered in beads of water.

  He laced his hands into mine, bringing both down to sit over my breasts. With only his thumbs, he skimmed my nipples, allowing the natural chill in the room to harden them the rest of the way.

  I watched his intent-filled eyes ogling each one, before he bobbed down to suck the left nipple into his mouth. I could feel his tongue scour the sensitive tip. My gasps were almost silent, but very able to hear in the quiet atmosphere.

  Once again, he grumbled against my flesh, vibrating those tingles to travel to the ends of my limbs.

  My body arched, and the heat between my legs intensified, while I struggled to continue holding onto his hands. Finally, he freed them, trailing his fingers down over my hips. It tickled, causing me to shiver. He smiled suggestively, gazing into my eyes as his hand lowered to my pussy. Barely making contact, I felt a slight brushing over the outer lips, before he separated them and played in my wetness. “I might have to wipe you off. You’re almost too wet.”

  “You made me that way.”

  “Oh, I take all the credit proudly.” He walked naked back to the bathroom, coming back out with a rag in his hand. I felt the fabric rubbing over my sensitive origin, doing it’s job so we could continue. “Now you’re ready.”

  Chad climbed back on the bed, kissing his way up to my face. He stared me right in the eyes and dove down for a chaste kiss. Then I felt him, his arousal pressing against my opening. The pressure became stronger, and then he was there, fully inside of my channel. I watched his face react to my tight walls. I bit down on my lip and hummed out his name. “Chad, please keep going. You feel amazing.”

  “You feel amazing, Rach. You like it when I go slow or fast?”

  “Both,” I managed to say in between deep pants.

  “Oh yeah, I know it. You feel so good. Your pussy is strangling me, holding me prisoner. It’s so fucking tight I want to come.”

  “Do it.” I was ready. Never in my mind did I consider we weren’t using protection. I didn’t care. I’d already lost everything. My life was miserable, and this was the only thing keeping me from losing my mind.

  “No,” he exclaimed while slowing. “I can go all night if we take our time. You need to stop being so sexy.”

  I crossed my eyes and giggled. “How’s this? Does it help?”

  He shook his head and leaned down to graze his lips against mine. “No. You’re still irresistible. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

  “Just keeping fucking me. Don’t stop.”

  Chad flipped us around, positioning me on top of him. He reached up and pinched both of my nipples at the same time, squishing my breasts together while bringing his face in to lick them. My head fell back and turned into a puddle of lust. I couldn’t control my orgasm, as my body bucked above him, I watched him wince and lose himself in pleasure.

  Afterwards, we lay there together in the quiet of the room. My head was rested on his chest, while his hands tickled my back. “Let me rest and we’ll get back to it.”

  “We don’t have to. This is nice.”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  I lifted my head to look at him. “Chad, what are we doing? What is this thing between us?”

  “Does it have to be something, Rach? It is what it is. Labeling things makes life complicated. Can’t you enjoy what’s happening and not question it?”

  I shrugged. “I guess. I just have a lot more at stake here.”

  “Exactly why we aren’t going to label this. If you want out, you simply stop. The same goes for me. No complications. No regrets.”

  I smiled and pretended it was fine, but in the pit of my stomach I felt uncomfortable. This wasn’t stable. It wasn’t anything more than a convenient fuck partner. We were colleagues. Although it was wrong, I couldn’t imagine it never happening again. It was quite a conundrum.

  Chapter 24

  Grayson

  I missed her so much. It hurt to get out of bed in the morning. It killed me to walk down the flight of stairs and see the photographs of our family, back when times were happy and we looked forward to spending the rest of our lives together.

  I wasn’t a fool. I had a feeling she was seeing someone else. Rachel had always been semi- codependent. She needed someone to entertain her needs, especially when she was stressed out.

  I knew my wife, so well it hurt, because the truth wouldn’t set me free. It would leave me burning away in my own personal hell. Punishment was as easy as looking in the mirror, and there was repentance, not for my sins. I couldn’t go back and change the past. My future was gloom and despair. That’s all it would ever consist of. Rachel was that one love people search their whole lives for. Unfortunately it took me losing her to see it for myself. She was gone, living somewhere in the city. She hadn’t called me in weeks, and that includes returning the slew of messages I’d left on her cell phone.

  Stephanie at least had spoken to me a few times. She was always short, speaking more about school than our personal lives. She mentioned staying the night at her mothers and I was glad they had each other, but so damn broken up I couldn’t be a part of their time together.

  I missed our life, even the bad parts where we had to struggle. I missed their smiles, and the way I always knew they’d love me.

  It was gone now. Stephanie couldn’t look past what I’d done to our family, not to mention her friendship with Kyla. I think for a while she couldn’t believe it really happened. Kyla went to her begging for forgiveness, even throwing the protective order in her face, like I’d done it to spite her. When Stephanie called to ask me about it, I told her everything. I think she believed me, not that she’d say otherwise. Like I mentioned before, she didn’t like to talk to me, not about that especially.

  Life was getting to be unbearable, but it wasn’t until an evening visit that I knew it couldn’t get any worse.

  A hard knocking was coming from my front door. I called out to hang on, climbed off the couch and went to answer it. Standing on the opposite side was someone I didn’t want to face, not now, not ever. Kyla’s dad had been considered a friend of mine for years. Now, staring him down in my foyer, I knew
there was nothing left of that relationship. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, serving my daughter with papers after what you’ve done to her.”

  “Phil, you need to hear me out. Kyla is out of control. She’s stalking me.”

  “Stalking you? You know what I see, Grayson? I see a grown man who preyed on my daughter. You brainwashed her, forcing her to make decisions she never would have before. Then when you got caught you kicked her to the curb like the trash. This won’t stand, Grayson. I won’t let you bring my daughter down with you.”

  “You’ve got this all wrong.”

  “No, I don’t think I do.”

  “So are you hear to take me down? Are you going to hit me? Shoot me?”

  Phil stared me down, I suppose to figure out what his next move would be. “I’m here to tell you to drop the bullshit protective order. She doesn’t need something like that on her record. You and I both know she’s harmless. Don’t ruin her life because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants.”

  This guy had every reason to hate me, but he was wrong. “Phil, your daughter came on to me. She seduced me. It wasn’t the other way around. I had to get that order, because she won’t leave me alone.”

  I didn’t see his fist coming until it was too late. My nose cracked, and I was certain it was broken. Blood oozed out, pouring down over my shirt, shoes and floor. He pointed to me while I tried to manage the situation. “Stay away from my family, Grayson.”

  After making sure Phil left, I rushed into the bathroom to access my situation. It was apparent my nose would need to be reset, so I stuffed it with toilet paper and drove myself to the hospital, where I sat and waited for more pain to be inflicted on me.

  In that time, I had a chance to think about my life. Without Rachel I was lost. Maybe I deserved the punch. Maybe I deserved everything.

  I just wondered how much more I’d have to go through before things would start to look up – or if they’d ever.

  Chapter 25

  Rachel

  Before I knew it four weeks had gone by. I was only keeping track because that’s how long it took for my furniture to finally be delivered. I’d already paid back the money for the living room set. I just owed for a kitchen table and chairs, and my bed, not that Chad cared. He kept telling me not to worry about it, and hiding the money back in places I wouldn’t discover until later. For all I knew I hadn’t really paid anything back, because somewhere in my things was a wad of cash.

  The two of us spent most of our time together, especially after business hours.

  I wasn’t even that excited about moving into my own place, because I’d become comfortable staying with him.

  Stephanie called me every single day. She was adamant about checking on me, although she still had no clue I was having a hot affair with a younger guy. I’d visited her on the weekends when Chad went out of town, and only told her I was staying in the city with a friend until my place was ready. She didn’t have a clue I was staying with a guy, especially a sexy younger one I happened to be sleeping with.

  Then there was my estranged husband. I hated referring to him that way, but it’s exactly what he was. I hadn’t seen him in weeks, and I wasn’t planning on it anytime soon.

  My conversations with him were becoming next to none. I had nothing to say to him, so when he called I had to come up with things to discuss. For the most part he was inquiring about bills I’d normally taken care of. Maybe he just needed a reason to pick up the phone. He sounded sad, tortured even. I could tell he regretted what he did. I think a part of me even knew he was sorry for his actions. There was no doubt in my mind that he would have done things differently given the chance again. His remorseful demeanor left me vulnerable. Hearing his voice was becoming unbearable. I hated even being on the phone with the man.

  When he did call, my heart ached. It’s how I knew I’d never get over him. No matter how long it had been, I still missed his touch, his face, and most importantly the way he loved me. At the end of every call he still said it, and I’d even catch myself saying it back. It was habit; one I didn’t even consider wrong. I’d made it clear I’d always feel that way about him. For me, I think he was the one true love of my life. Sure, I could have other meaningful relationships, but they’d never be what we had together. They’d never filled the void I had when I thought back to what tore us apart.

  Grayson was still trying to win me back. He’d sent flowers, tickets to concerts, and even invited me over for dinner. I always declined on account of being so busy with work. I wasn’t lying about it. I was swamped. Being the CEO of Leviathan Agency was hard work. Chad had been right about it consuming my time.

  I guess that’s why our situation worked for us. We were always around each other, so when it came time for a break we didn’t have to look far for a companion. Though we did our best to hide our secret affair, I knew several co-workers were catching on something was happening between us. At first it bothered me. I’d always been happy to talk about my marriage and my wonderful husband. The idea of admitting it had failed broke my heart. When people asked about Grayson I’d simply reply he was fine, as if we were still happily together. I couldn’t bring myself to shed light on the truth; we were separated and headed for divorce.

  I looked out the glass windows of my office at the full office of employees. Twenty had returned to their old positions. The rest decided to move on to something new. The transition was going successfully without any huge hiccups. For the most part, Chad managed the new entity, while my whole focus was on the agency. Weekly we’d have a meeting with the managers, but aside from that we had different jobs with different companies.

  I think it helped us get along. Chad wanted nothing to do with the agency, and because I could run it with my eyes closed, it was never necessary to involve him with concerns.

  Charles hadn’t been in the office in two weeks. I missed seeing his old butt walking around and stealing candy from people’s desks. He’d been known to stand around and talk until he emptied some co-workers jars. I think they got a kick out of it, because almost everyone had something out on display.

  Chad told me they were planning on throwing a big shindig, but I hadn’t received the details yet. When I got the mail delivery for the day I saw a fancy envelope I knew was an invitation, so I opened it first. Imagine my surprise when I found it wasn’t the invitation for Charles’ party, but one for a couples retreat with Grayson. I read over it five times, noticing it was located in the Poconos of Pennsylvania. He’d gone above and beyond on this attempt. Grayson and I had spent our honeymoon in the Poconos. He wanted to take us back to that special place to try to reconnect. The problem was, I didn’t know if I wanted to get back what we had.

  Don’t get me wrong, I loved being married. Grayson was a good husband, up until he slept with Kyla. Since I’d been seeing Chad I kept myself preoccupied, but sometimes at night, as I lay next to him, I wished Grayson was the person beside me. I missed him.

  For the rest of the day I kept the invitation out of my mind. It wasn’t until I went back to Chad’s apartment when I began thinking about it again.

  Chad had ordered us Chinese. We sat at the kitchen island eating out of the boxes. “How was your day?” He asked in between chews.

  “Busy. I got an invitation for a couples retreat from Grayson.”

  His brows raised. “Wow. Did you respond?”

  “No. Why would I?” I wanted to know why Chad would even ask.

  “Because he’s still your husband and you have residual feelings for him. Maybe some time together would help you make your mind up.”

  “My mind up? I thought I already had.”

  “It’s not how I see it. Rach, you’re still in love with him.”

  I don’t know why talking about this made me uncomfortable. Chad was always open with me. We were friends, yet I felt like it was something more; something stronger. “He was my husband. Of course I have feelings for him.”

  “It’s more than that, and in cas
e you’ve forgotten, you’re still married.”

  “On paper.”

  “Legally,” he added.

  “So, you think I should have a weekend away with him? What good would it do?”

  He sat his box down and used a napkin to wipe his lips. “It will either give you closure, or a second chance to make it work. Being in limbo isn’t anyway to live your life. You and I both know you haven’t seen a divorce lawyer. There’s a reason for that.”

  I wanted to ask him about us. I wanted to talk about how I’d felt while staying with him for almost a month. I wanted to talk to him about our relationship, because there obvious was something happening between us, but Chad acted oblivious. “I think you’re wrong. I don’t want to be alone with Grayson.”

  “It’s a couple days out of your life. What can it hurt?”

  He had a point. If I didn’t want Grayson it would be closure. If my heart was still torn at least I’d stop wondering. I think the biggest hurdle for me was the fact that Chad didn’t seem annoyed. He was pushing me to go, which made me feel like I meant nothing to him. To test out the theory, I decided to go ahead and give Grayson a couple days. I didn’t have to be intimate to spend time with him. It was just a weekend. “Fine. I’ll tell him I’ll go.”

  “I think you’ll figure out what you want to do, Rach. Don’t you want to make a final decision?”

  I shrugged. “I suppose it’s time.”

  Chad agreed and headed into the bedroom to shower, leaving me alone with the rest of my food. I waited until I heard him go into the bathroom to pull out my phone and message Grayson. I don’t know why I felt so torn, but I knew I was about to figure it out.

  Chapter 26

  Grayson

  Going a month without seeing my wife was something I never thought would happen. I could remember missing her after only a couple days. Now, the inevitable was staring me in the face. She might never come back to me.