Texas Pride

by Kindle Alexander

  “You know, we might be an absolute mess in the morning. I’m not sure it was one of our brightest ideas to try and feed each other in the dark,” Kitt said, over his shoulder, looking at Austin who stood stretching his long body before he began to undress. Kitt turned back to the fire, tossing a couple more logs on it. All of the remnants of their dinner were gone, and the sleeping bag lay on the blanket for a little extra padding.

  “It’s cold over here by myself,” Austin said, from inside the sleeping bag.

  “We can’t have that.” Kitt grabbed a beer and a bottle of water from the small cooler. After grabbing a roll of paper towels, condoms and lubricant, he laid everything within easy reach. He stood between Austin and the fire undressing before he stretched out.

  Austin didn’t hesitate to move into Kitt’s arms. The pillow was positioned so they could both lay on it, but Austin opted for Kitt’s chest to lay his head on. He gave Kitt a small kiss, not letting him take it deeper like he tried to do.

  “It’s colder outside, winter’s close,” Austin murmured. With Kitt’s urging, he lifted again for another kiss, but again denied him deepening the kiss. He kept it simple and sweet, which was not at all the direction Kitt had in mind.

  “That’s October in Texas for you, warm days and cool nights,” Kitt said casually. He wondered why they were talking about the weather. Kitt took more initiative and rolled them both so they lay on their sides. Running his nose along Austin’s jaw, Kitt wrapped him in his arms, caressing his fingertips down the bare skin of Austin’s back to his ass.

  Both their cocks were good and hard. Kitt pivoted his hips, rubbing them together as he snuck his finger down to massage the tight rim of Austin’s ass.

  “I was thinkin’ maybe I’d lick you right here tonight. See if I can get you to come with just fuckin’ you with my tongue. We haven’t done that before, but I’ve wanted to. I used to be pretty good at it in college,” Kitt whispered in the crook of Austin neck. He kissed and nipped the skin as he spoke. Austin again leaned in for a kiss, but kept it light and stopped his hand before he was able to slide his finger inside. That was a hard sign to get past and Kitt looked up confused. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I just like spending time with you. It doesn’t always have to be just sex,” Austin said, looking him in the eyes. It kind of threw Kitt off.

  “Okay.” He pushed back to match Austin’s position. He lay with his head propped up on his hand, but the confusion was clear on his face.

  They spent a lot of time talking and never about anything important or relevant to their lives, except maybe when Austin asked him questions about the ranch. Everything else was either the past, like what happened to kids from high school or safe topics like world events and what beer was the best on the planet. That answer never changed for Kitt no matter how Austin tried to persuade him Bud Light wasn’t truly the king of beers.

  “Stop with that look…and come closer. I didn’t mean for you to move away. Scoot closer,” Austin said.

  After a minute of speculation, Kitt did move back closer to Austin meeting him half way. Austin pushed Kitt back down on his back and leaned up on his elbow. He looked down at Kitt who just watched him, trying to read his expression. Kitt couldn’t get a vibe for what he might be thinking. Austin gave nothing away.

  “I’m gonna miss you when I go back to California,” Austin said, studying Kitt’s face.

  There was a pause as Kitt tried to figure out what the sentence really meant.

  “You might decide you like it better there and stay. It’s a pretty lonely kind of life around here. Or wait, is that what you’re tryin’ to say to me now?” Kitt asked, immediately schooling his features and forcing himself to stay casual. The pain of his unguarded words pierced his heart and ran rapidly throughout his body.

  “Absolutely not! Babe, I like it here. I know I get in the way and slow things down, but I like working my body, learning all these new ways of things. It feels right to be here.” Austin lifted his fingers to run across Kitt’s lower lip as he spoke. “Besides, I’ve had everything, but solitude since I’ve been here. You all night, Mike and the guys all day…I need some alone time!” Austin leaned forward for another chaste kiss on his lips. “Remember what I told you in the truck. I want this between us, Kitt. I do.”

  Kitt let it settle between them; gave his heart the minute it needed to slow, to stop the instant jerk of panic and ache. His gaze still searched Austin’s face. “How long are you gonna be gone?”

  “I hope not more than a day, maybe two, max,” Austin replied, now back to just staring down at him. He ran a stray finger across Kitt’s cheek.

  A day wasn’t so bad. Kitt’s heart begged his brain to listen to Austin’s words. He didn’t want to be the always too practical, negative and analytical one, constantly dissecting everything.

  “When I was growin’ up, I always thought I’d be outta here the first chance I got. I hated workin’ with my dad. He took raisin’ me so seriously. I’d get licks for goofin’ off, and the whole time he was wallopin’ me, he’d tell me it was for my own good, to make me strong. But, the first chance I got, I didn’t bolt. I dug my own roots in. I wouldn’t even know what to do if I wasn’t ranchin’ and runnin’ cows on this farm.”

  “You’re really good at what you do, Kitt. Mike talks about you all the time.” Austin showed some anger when Kitt spoke of his father, but never mentioned it or said anything.

  “We all help each other out. Mike just didn’t come from that kind of life. It always surprised him when I’d show up to help, but he’s always the first one anywhere to lend a hand. He’s a good guy. I liked him from the beginning. Older than his years. He’s only twenty-three, you know,” Kitt said.

  “There’s more to it than that. Besides, you act older than your years, too. I think it’s this farming lifestyle. Micah’s kids are the same way.”

  “Mike’s a good hire for you,” Kitt replied, not saying anything more. He always shut down when Austin tried to compliment him.

  “I can see that.”

  Silence fell between them. Austin kept his eyes on Kitt, searching his face. Kitt resisted the urge to run a hand over it to see if any stray food might be left behind.

  “You’re a very handsome man,” Austin said a little louder than a whisper. Those eyes of his kept roaming his face, and Kitt couldn’t stop his crooked grin from stretching across his lips.

  “Not so much. Not like you. I’m pretty scarred up and broke my nose one too many times,” Kitt said. That was his dad’s doing.

  “I’ve been trying to think of anyone I’ve ever seen who was or is as handsome as you,” Austin said quietly. “But, I can’t come up with anyone.”

  “You help my ego.” Kitt grinned as he ran a hand through Austin’s thick hair, and then down along his jaw until his fingertip ran the length of his face. Austin was so good with the compliments. He said them so matter-of-factly Kitt wanted to believe them, even the crazy, absurd ones like this one.

  “I want this to continue between us. I don’t wanna slow it down. Straight guys have friendships all the time with each other. It can just look like you’re my buddy, but I don’t want this to slow down at all. I like it. You’re unexpected, but very good for me,” Austin said, entwining their fingers together as he spoke.

  “Okay. We can see how it goes,” Kitt said cautiously.

  “I wish things were different. You need to know I would date you. Take you out, show you a good time and feel privileged to be with you.” Austin brought their joined fingers to his lips.

  “I’m havin’ a good time like this. I don’t need to date.” A mischievous smile came to Austin’s lips at Kitt’s words.

  “A good enough time to ditch Fisker for good?” Austin lifted his brow in question, but kept his eyes trained on Kitt.

  Kitt stared back, not answering. How were they back here again? This was like the third or fourth mention of Sean in the last twenty-four hours. Kitt didn’t want to
talk about this at all, and Austin wouldn’t give it up.

  He’d already texted Sean, told him he’d met someone unexpectedly. Sean hadn’t taken it well. He’d called Kitt a fool for wasting away over someone who wouldn’t be there in a few months. By the end of the text marathon, Sean made it clear he’d be there for Kitt when it was all over, but Kitt would have to work hard to get him back. Apparently, Sean looked forward to the moment. Kitt knew, without question, Sean was one hundred percent right, but none of that mattered right now because Austin already meant something to him. Even if it was only for a few months, or hell, even if it were only days they shared together, he didn’t regret letting Sean go.

  Austin tightened his grip on his fingers. “Don’t avoid the question this time. Answer me.”

  “I’ve been with Sean for a long time.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Kitt saw the hurt they caused Austin although he quickly masked it, hiding behind something Kitt wasn’t sure about.

  “I understand.” Austin leaned in to kiss Kitt, deepening it quickly. He pulled his hand free to reach low and stroke Kitt. It brought his half aroused cock to a full rigid hard-on in seconds. Somehow the tables had turned. Now, it was Kitt who stopped Austin by placing a hand on his. He pulled from the massage and the kiss, linking their fingers back together.

  “Hold up, Austin. You didn’t let me finish. You need to know I don’t play around. I’ve been with Sean a long time. He’s the only person I’ve been with over the last five years. I can give him up with no problem. It’s just, I don’t know how long you’re gonna be here or even want me. What if you go back tomorrow and decide to stay? And if it’s not tomorrow, then the next time you get called back? What happens when you decide you’ve had enough of this life, of this town, or of me? You’re an international superstar. You’ve experienced life on a level I’ll never understand. This is all I’ve ever done, or will ever do.” Kitt’s voice was low, and he had a hard time keeping eye contact. It felt like he rambled, but he forged on through everything on his mind, hoping he answered whatever question Austin was truly asking him.

  “It’s so frustrating! I can’t get anyone to believe me. I’m done with that world. That life isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. I would put this last week up against any other time in my life, and I would pick you every time. I’m done with that out there. I promise you, I’m done. This is where I want to be. Right here, right now. For me, I know if I stay off the radar, they’ll eventually leave me alone. Someday, I’ll be able to lead a normal life, but Kitt Kelly, I swear to God, if the last five days with you are any indication, I can promise you I’m gonna want you there with me.” Austin faltered in his words as he looked Kitt directly in the eyes.

  “Austin… You don’t even know me.”

  “I know enough.” Austin’s reply was instant.

  “Is this a commitment you’re willin’ to make in return?” Kitt asked, knowing in his heart Austin wouldn’t be able to handle it long term no matter what he said.

  “Absolutely I will. I have fierce jealousy going on inside me about Fisker. He was too smooth…too good looking. I think we could both easily give a commitment and follow it. Seriously, how much more could I need? I have you three, four, five times a night. I’m fucked good and happy, Kitt. Unless, I had you all day, too. I’d like that more,” Austin said.

  “How do you know that about Sean? When did you see him close enough to know that?” Kitt’s question rang sharply.

  “Shit…damn it, Kitt, don’t be mad,” Austin said, and dropped back on his back.

  “What?” Kitt rose immediately, looking down at Austin.

  “I told you we followed him in. When he got to your place, we tracked him. You were so pissed off at my men you could’ve easily blown it for me,” Austin said, looking up at the stars now, avoiding Kitt who loomed over him. It was an effort on Austin’s part to keep his eyes averted from Kitt who was right over his face.

  “You told me you tracked him. It was dark. What did you do, watch me?”

  “Kind of…” Austin said with a wince.

  “So you knew without question before you ever asked me that night?” Kitt asked even though the answer was clear.

  “Well, I didn’t see what went on in your house.” Finally, Austin’s guilt stricken eyes came back to Kitt’s. It looked like Austin was regretful, but still for a man who hid and went out of his way to be so careful.

  “Damn, Austin,” Kitt muttered and fell back, breaking their stare.

  “I know! I know and I deleted all the pictures.”

  “You took pictures?” Kitt popped his eyes back in Austin’s general direction.

  “We had to know who Fisker was…head off anything trying to get in. If I needed to leave, I needed to know.” Austin quickly defended his actions.

  “He was there for me!” Kitt said and scrubbed his palms down over his eyes. Austin and his entire security team had known he was gay from the beginning. What if it got out?

  “I know that now! And it made me crazy, insanely jealous, and I didn’t even know you!”

  “See? You don’t know me like I’ve been telling you. If you did, you’d know I wouldn’t ever tell anyone you’re here. I don’t spread a bunch of bullshit gossipy crap! Austin, you took pictures of me and Sean, shit!” Kitt sat up with his legs bent, and stared out in the night.

  “Kitt…damn it, I was wrong to have those pictures taken. I knew the minute I got them it was wrong, and I do know you now. Do you remember when we were in high school? You played baseball on Varsity. I was a senior. Remember that?” Austin rose up next to Kitt, wrapping an arm around his back, trying to pull Kitt to look at him.

  Kitt refused to answer.

  “I watched you shower. I felt like such a perv, but I did watch you. You grew into this hot body that year. Everyone knew your dad sucked. He worked you hard, too hard. You stood in that shower with the water pouring down you. All these muscles flowing, and I watched and I remembered. I still remember.”

  Memories of that day came flooding back to Kitt. He’d thought he was the only one in the showers, but he’d caught sight of Austin leaving the showers from the corner of his eye. When he’d realized who had just turned away, his dick had grown instantly hard. It was a hard-on to end all hard-ons, and he’d been worried Austin might have seen him get hard. At the time, Kitt had thought Austin left because he didn’t want to be there with him. And now…to think Austin stood there looking at him like he would look at Austin...damn!

  Kitt shoved himself up off the sleeping bag. Austin reached for him, but he moved away. Kitt had all the same possessive emotions coursing through him as Austin seemed to have. He was jealous as hell of Austin going back to Cara and that life, especially now he knew Austin swung both ways.

  Kitt knew what he and Austin shared wasn’t love no matter how strong it felt. All this flowing through him was sexual tension and deep seeded lust, nothing more. It was his pin up poster come to life, materializing in front of him.

  He bent down close to the fire, resting his arms on his knees and watched the flames flicker. Why was he being asked to give up Sean when Austin had a line of ready sex partners just about everywhere...doing both men and women sure made it easy for him to find someone to fuck. How pathetic would it look for him to have already broken it off with Sean? Except, Austin had thought about him over the years. Damn it! Kitt’s runaway heart burst at the possibility of what that might mean.

  “You’re a frustrating man, Kitt Kelly. Come back to bed.” Austin matched Kitt’s position and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He leaned in, but didn’t pull Kitt to him. He just looked at him. “I’m sorry. I’ve asked too much, too soon. I need to prove myself to you. This whole relationship thing is all new to me. Here’s what I should have said. I’m not going to be with anyone else, you’re enough for me. You can do what you want, I’m fine with it. Now come back to bed. It’s getting late, and I want to make love to you at least a dozen times before morning.” Austin g
rinned and kissed Kitt’s shoulder.

  Kitt gave him a sideways glance, but turned back to the fire not trusting himself. Austin rose and held out a hand. “Come on, I’m really sorry for bringing all this up. Come back to bed.”

  Kitt took the hand and stood, but wrapped his arm around Austin’s waist, anchoring him tightly against his chest. Kitt’s eyes trained on Austin’s with an intensity he was sure he couldn’t hide. Kitt was learning that although Austin was an accomplished actor, there were a few seconds after every word spoken that Austin was raw, showing his honest feeling before reminding himself to hide behind his skill.

  “I already told Sean I couldn’t see him anymore. I was clear that I’d met someone down here. He thinks I’m a fool to trust it.” Kitt finally cut his eyes from Austin’s, landing his gaze somewhere around his chin. “I’m not comfortable being photographed without knowin’ it, but I get you need the protection. I want you safe. We’re gonna have to work somethin’ out, somethin’ in the middle that’s good for both of us, because I like the idea of the future you just drew out. But, you have to know I won’t ever willingly come out. Not as long as I’m responsible for my stepmother and sisters and this farm. They need me to be at the top of my game, and this industry’s too redneck. They’re never gonna accept a gay ranch owner. They would never take me seriously; all they would ever see when they looked at me is whether I topped or bottomed, nothing else would matter. I can’t have that, Austin.”

  Austin used his thumb of their joined hands to push Kitt’s chin up, forcing his eyes to follow.

  “What is it you need? Is it money? I have enough money to keep you and everyone in this town livin’ in style—” Austin began, but Kitt cut him right off.

  “No, I’m not takin’ your money! I’m workin’ my way out of a financial mess my father left behind. It’s for me to deal with, no one else, but I can’t risk anything right now. I don’t have the luxury to gamble at anything,” Kitt said firmly.