A Most Excellent Midlife Crisis: Good To The Last Death Book Three

by Peterman , Robyn

  Clarissa flew like a bat out of hell to steal it.

  However, Birdie was faster.

  My mind went back to static for a brief second and then we were in a home—a home that I’d been in many times in my life.

  Chills skittered up my spine. “Oh my God,” I said. “I know where we are.”

  “Of course you do,” Birdie said. “Watch.”

  An old woman came into the room with a young girl. I smiled when I saw the child. I would know my best friend anywhere. The little girl who’d stopped my tears. Missy. And the old woman looked just as Missy had described her. The very same woman who had told her the story of the Soul Keepers.

  Missy held her beloved great-granny’s hand and had no clue that the old woman was conversing with a ghost who carried my mother’s precious soul in her hands.

  Looking down at the child, Missy’s great-granny smiled. “This little one is the strongest Soul Keeper of them all. My tiny gal has the magic and the love.” She focused her attention on Birdie and the glowing remnant of my mother. “Missy will keep the two of you safe. I’m goin’ to my maker soon, or else I’d let you hitch a ride in me. She will accept you both, and you will be respectful of my baby.” The last part had been directed at Birdie.

  Birdie nodded her ghostly head and kissed the gnarled old woman on the cheek. Missy played with her great-granny’s colorful skirt and giggled as Birdie and my mother slipped in and hitched a ride.

  “Missy,” I whispered. “My mother is still inside Missy.”

  I opened my eyes and looked at Birdie. “That’s why you were so excited to see Missy.”

  “Indeed, it was,” Birdie said. “She’s a rare and beautiful one. I was sad when I had to leave, but I knew it was my time—just didn’t know why, until I met up with you.”

  I shook my head and tried to take it all in. “Could you see me? I mean, could my mom see me through Missy’s eyes?”

  “No, darlin’,” Birdie said. “Nothing like that, but your mama could feel you. When you and Missy were together, Alana could feel your spirit.”

  “I think I felt her too,” I said, marveling at the magic. “Missy’s the one who stopped my crying when we met. She’s been my best friend forever.”

  “Forever is a long time,” Birdie said with a chuckle.

  I nodded and then shivered. “I have to get to Missy.”

  “Yes, you do,” Birdie agreed. “Don’t wait for me to go into the light. I can get up to my Heavenly maker just fine. When you leave me, go to Missy. Find her before the evil one does.”

  “Birdie,” I said, throwing my arms around her. “I love you and I will never be able to thank you enough.”

  “Find your mama and send her into the light. That is thank you enough, hooker.”

  I laughed through my tears and flipped her off. “I’ll miss you, hooker.”

  “Right back at you,” she replied with a beautiful middle finger salute. “Go now, Daisy. May God be with you. Or at least that hot man you’re banging.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  As I came to, Gideon held me cradled in his arms with his forehead pressed to mine. We were on the couch and Birdie was gone. Staying in his protective embrace would have been heavenly, but I’d just learned too many hellish truths.

  “How long was I out?” I was worried that hours may have passed.

  “Only ten minutes after you left Birdie. An hour total,” he said, tucking my hair behind my ear and looking so relieved, I laughed weakly.

  “Did Birdie move on?” I asked, looking around the room. I’d be sad if I missed it, but she’d promised me she’d be fine on her own.

  “She did,” Tim confirmed. “Birdie flipped all of us off and laughed like a loon when she went into the light. Told Gideon his balls were in for a treat.”

  “Of course she did,” I said with an embarrassed groan. “Sorry.”

  “Nothing to be sorry about,” Gideon said with a smile. “Looking forward to it.”

  I was about to comment, but instead, rolled out of Gideon’s arms and jumped to my feet. I had just witnessed my mother’s death… which meant my father had, too.

  “Where’s Michael?”

  “Outside,” Charlie told me. “You will need us to re-landscape for you in the next few days. Michael has decimated your property.”

  “That’s fine. If I had time, I’d join him,” I said, testing my arms and legs. I was good to go. “Missy’s house is about twenty minutes away. If I drive, it’s ten.”

  “We’re not driving,” Michael said flatly as he reentered the house looking haggard and years older than he had just an hour earlier.

  “Well, we’re certainly not walking,” I said, moving to the foyer closet and pulling my coat off the hangar.

  As I turned back to the group of men, I ran smack into my father’s broad chest. His arms encircled me, and he hugged me like he would never let me go. All of my pent-up emotions drained from my body and I held on to him as tightly as he held me. The moment was beautifully tragic, heartbreaking, and long overdue.

  “I’m so sorry, Daisy. I didn’t know,” he whispered brokenly in my ear. “I’m so damned sorry.”

  “I am too, Dad,” I said, letting my tears flow freely.

  His large body shuddered in my arms and a need to protect him from his pain consumed me. Holding him tighter, I tried to absorb his agony. But I had no more room. My anguish equaled his. The only thing left was to help each other heal, but that would be impossible if we didn’t find my mother’s soul.

  “Missy’s house,” I said, pulling back and wiping my tears away with my sleeve. “Now. We have to get to Missy.”

  “Yes,” my father agreed.

  “I texted Heather,” Tim said, tucking his phone back into his pocket. “She’s with Missy. She hasn’t planted the vacation in her mind yet, but she knows not to leave her.”

  “Did you tell her everything?” Gideon asked.

  “No,” Tim replied. “Just that we were on our way over and for her to watch out for Clarissa.”

  Picking up my purse, I started out the front door. “Guys, we’re wasting time. I’ll drive.”

  No one moved. What the hell was wrong with everyone?

  “Am I not speaking in a language you understand?” I asked, getting angry. Time was of the essence. Birdie had said so.

  “We understand English quite well,” Tim replied.

  I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and glared at them. “Great. Let’s go. Now.”

  “Take my hand,” Gideon instructed.

  “Why?” I asked, walking to him and automatically doing as he asked.

  “We’re not driving. We’re transporting,” he told me.

  My mouth dropped open. Apparently, I’d missed the memo. “I can do that?” I asked. “By myself?”

  “I’m sure you could if you tried,” Michael said, taking my other hand. “However, we’ll test the theory another time. Right now, we’ll transport you.”

  “This is nuts,” I muttered.

  Tim shook his head. “Not nuts at all. Transporting is an excellent mode of transportation. The safety record is outstanding. Ninety-nine percent of the time there is no issue.”

  I refused to ask about the other one percent. I didn’t want to know.

  “Will it hurt?” I asked.

  “Not a bit,” Gideon promised. “Close your eyes, Daisy. The only side effect is dizziness. If you close your eyes, it will abate faster.”

  “Are we ready?” Charlie asked.

  “No, but that’s never stopped me before. Let’s do this.”

  My father squeezed my hand. “As you wish.”

  * * *

  I’d had no idea we’d all materialize at the same time in Missy’s small living room. Missy’s scream of alarm and horror made me feel like the worst friend in the world. It reverberated through my body and I felt it from my fingertips to my toes. It was ear-splitting.

  I was relieved that I wasn’t in the one percent that Tim ha
d mentioned, but if I’d known where we were going to land, I would have insisted on driving. Although, I had to admit transporting was much faster than driving, even with me at the wheel. However, the fact we may have traumatized Missy for life was not worth it.

  The comfort of being in a place I loved was erased by what I’d just potentially done to someone who I loved like a sister. Missy’s house was a place where I’d logged many hours over the years. It had been a second home of sorts. The décor was bo-ho chic and fit my best friend perfectly—crystals and wild bursts of color in the fabrics and on the walls accented the comfortable furniture. It was a serene and mystical place.

  But not right now.

  “Are you people serious?” Heather shouted, wrapping her arms around a terrorized Missy. “You couldn’t have arrived outside and then knocked for the love of everything wildly stupid and inappropriate?”

  Missy’s eyes were huge and her body trembled visibly. She peeked up at us and her gaze landed on me. “Daisy?” She looked paler than any ghost I’d ever seen.

  “It’s me,” I said, unsure what to say or do to help her understand the unbelievable.

  “How?” she asked. “How did you do that?” She turned her attention to Heather. “And why aren’t you surprised?”

  Heather’s eyes narrowed in fury at us as she led Missy to the scarf-covered sofa. “It’s a long story that you will find difficult to believe,” she said, placing her hands on either side of Missy’s face lovingly.

  “Try me,” Missy said, still shaking and glancing over at everyone who had literally popped in.

  “Do you have wine?” I asked.

  She nodded. “In the kitchen.”

  “Would you like a glass?” Gideon inquired politely.

  Again, Missy scanned the room. “Will I need it?”

  “Yes,” I said with a weak smile.

  “Then yes,” she replied to Gideon. “No glass needed. I’ll drink from the bottle.”

  “Excellent call,” Tim said approvingly.

  “I’m good like that,” Missy replied, still guarded. She turned her attention to me. “Start talking, dude.”

  I nodded and sat down.

  I started talking… and talking and talking. We all did.

  There was a whole hell of a lot to tell.

  * * *

  “You look shell-shocked,” I said, impressed that her head hadn’t exploded. It had taken me a while to come to terms with the otherworld that existed under my nose. Missy had truly taken it much better than I had. It was a lot to absorb that the collective age of the Immortals in the room was a number so high it could fry a brain.

  “Understatement,” Missy replied dryly. “I’d add gob-smacked, amazed, dumbfounded, astonished and freaked out. I’m not sure if I’m dreaming or if I’ve lost my damn mind.”

  Tim chimed in. “You’re wide awake and your vocabulary is impressive. And your sanity is completely intact.”

  “And what you’ve learned—albeit against normal protocol—is the truth,” my father said.

  Missy squinted at him. “Not real sure normal should be a word in your vocabulary,” she pointed out.

  “Touché,” Michael said with a small smile.

  While Missy had taken in the information about all of us fairly well, I still hadn’t told her about what she was and why we were here. Quite honestly, I hadn’t been sure she’d believe a single word of what she’d been told, but, at least, she hadn’t passed out or tried to leave.

  There was that…

  Missy took another swig off the bottle of red and shook her head. “Scarily enough, some of your stories sound familiar,” she said, offering me the bottle.

  I happily took a sip. “Not following.”

  “Remember when I told you about my great-granny?”

  My body tingled and I almost choked on the wine. I’d met her great-granny in a roundabout way a little over an hour ago. “I remember. Why?”

  Missy sat back and let her head fall back on the couch. She sighed and then got lost in thought.

  No one said a word. I think they were as surprised and relieved as I was that Missy wasn’t on the floor in a fetal position and babbling.

  Missy sat back up and slowly and deliberately made eye contact with each and every person in her home. “My great-granny told me these stories—or at least versions of them. I thought she made them up. I loved the tales—begged her to repeat them to me all the time.” She shook her head sadly and looked down at the floor. “It was when she was telling me the story of the Death Counselor for the hundredth time that my parents walked in on us and caught her. They sent her away the next day to a home, and I never saw her again. They said she was crazy and had the Devil inside her—told me if I wasn’t careful, I’d have the Devil inside me, too.”

  “They were sick people,” Heather said, taking Missy’s hand in hers.

  Missy leaned into Heather and rested her head on her shoulder. “True. I always thought it was my fault they sent her away. I still blame myself for it.”

  “Can I share something with you?” Michael asked Missy.

  “Will it freak me out any more than I already am?” she shot back.

  Michael smiled. “No. I don’t think it will.”

  “Then have at it,” Missy said with a small laugh. “Wait, what do you call him, Daisy?”

  I grinned. “At first it was Darth Vader, then John Travolta and now Dad,” I said. “You can call him Clarence or Michael if you’re more comfortable with that.”

  “I’m going to go with John Travolta,” Missy announced. “It fits.”

  My father chuckled, walked across the small room and seated himself next to my best friend. “I will answer to many things. Whatever you choose is fine,” he assured her, and then grew more serious. “Your great-granny resides in the light—in Heaven. She watches over you as your Guardian Angel, and her love for you will never die.”

  Missy’s eyes widened and filled with tears. She gaped at the Archangel and watched in amazement as he let his own eyes turn a sparkling gold.

  “You wouldn’t lie to me?” she asked.

  “John Travolta doesn’t lie,” I offered. “He omits occasionally, but we’re working on that.”

  Michael smiled. “I neither lied nor omitted just now, Missy. What I told you is the truth.”

  Missy absorbed the information then leaned back onto Heather for comfort. “Okay,” she said, looking around suspiciously. “While all of this has been life-altering and possibly nightmare-inducing, I’m not following why you felt the need to blow my mind. What exactly is going on? Why do I need to know all of this?”

  “You ready for more?” I asked, hoping not to get shot down. I wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

  “Do I need more wine?” she asked, holding up the empty bottle.

  Charlie stood up. “Probably,” he said in his kind way. “I’ll go get another bottle.”

  “Wait,” Missy said, tilting her head in thought. “Does June know? About you?”

  Charlie smiled and shook his head. “She does not. For me, June is my once in a very long lifetime love. I will age with her, and when she passes on, I’ll pretend to pass on for the sake of our children. I’ll move away for a generation or two and then come back to watch my great-grandchildren grow from a distance.”

  “I’m confused,” I said as a thought occurred to me. “I thought it was rare for an Immortal to have a child. You and June have four.” Maybe my birth wasn’t as rare as I’d thought. If that was the case, Gideon needed to use something a little more reliable than condoms.

  “Adopted children,” Charlie said with great pride and a wide smile as he patted his heart. “The lights of June’s and my life.”

  “Oh Charlie, it makes me sad that June will die and you won’t,” Missy said softly.

  “No,” Heather said. “It’s rare and beautiful. So few of us get to experience what Charlie has. He’ll have memories of June for the rest of time.”

  Missy t
urned and stared at Heather for a long moment. Heather stared back. It was as if they’d both forgotten anyone else was in the room.

  Missy broke the stare first and touched Heather’s cheek gently. “I understand. Charlie, I would like that wine, please, and I’d like to know what you people have omitted.”

  “Long or short version, dude?” I asked.

  “Short,” Missy said. “Brain’s too full as it is.”

  I nodded. “You’re a Soul Keeper. It’s not a myth. It’s not a wives’ tale.”

  Missy grinned. I was floored and relieved.

  “I am?” she asked with a laugh. “I’m a freak like the rest of you people?”

  “That you are,” Gideon said with a chuckle.

  “Amazing,” Missy said. “An hour ago, I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Now, I’m kind of digging it.”

  “Highly unusual and quite remarkable,” Tim said, smiling at Missy. “You are uniquely suited to be part of the club.”

  “Thanks,” Missy said with a wink. “And let me tell you right now, Courier between Heaven and Hell, if you rehome the vibrator I just ordered, I will mess with your shit.”

  Tim looked taken aback for a moment then he sheepishly grinned. “Duly noted. Your toy shall arrive unscathed.”

  Missy hopped up and began to pace the small room. Charlie handed her a new bottle of wine as she passed him and she took a slug off it. Gathering her thoughts, she stopped then pinned me with a stare.

  “Okay, I’m ready,” she said. “It still makes no logical sense why I’m being told this if there’s not a reason, so hit me with it.”

  “Brave and beautiful,” Heather said with pride.

  “Back at you,” Missy said to Heather. “Out with the rest, Daisy.”

  “Clarissa killed my mother,” I told her, trying not to let the fact send me into a fit of tears or rage. It would do no one any good if I lost my shit when I needed to keep it together. “She tried to steal her soul, but one of Mom’s ghosts got to it first. Her name was Ethel, but she liked being called Birdie better because of her penchant for flipping people off.”

  “Is that important?” Missy asked.