A Surrendered Heart

by Tracie Peterson

  “Wait a moment and I’ll go with you,” Amanda said.

  Sophie shook her head. “Your mother wants you to go with them.”

  “But why?”

  “I’m sure I don’t know, but she was insistent you remain here.” Sophie nuzzled Elizabeth’s neck until the baby chortled with delight. “Would you mind taking Elizabeth upstairs to her nanny? Paul said he would bring her with him. We have a long day ahead of us, and she’ll be in better humor if she has a nap.”

  Amanda lifted Elizabeth from Sophie’s arms and watched her cousins stroll down the path to the dock, still uncertain why her mother should want her to remain behind. She kissed Elizabeth’s plump cheek and carried her inside. “Let’s go upstairs. As soon as you take your nap, you can go on the boat and have fun.” The baby gurgled and smiled. How simple life was for babies. No cares or worries. They had only to cry and their needs were met. “Your life will become more difficult with each passing day, dear girl. You had better enjoy this simple life while you can.”

  After leaving the baby with her nanny, Amanda went in search of her mother. She made a stop on each floor of the house and inquired of the servants, but none of them were any help. Even her father seemed to have disappeared. When she wanted to speak to her parents, they were nowhere in sight. After a half hour of searching, she gave up. She’d return to the front porch and wait.

  “Uncle Quincy! When did you get here?” Her uncle was sitting on the lower veranda watching Beatrice’s children play a game of croquet.

  He looked up and smiled. “I arrived only a few minutes ago. Managed to jump on board with Captain Visegar and save Mr. Atwell a trip to Clayton.”

  “Mr. Atwell’s off to Round Island at the moment.” She pulled a chair close. “I’m glad to have a few moments alone with you. I wanted to know how work is faring at the Home since I’ve been gone. Have you been able to meet all of the necessary needs?”

  He shook his head. “I doubt we’d ever be able to do that, my dear. However, I will tell you that it has been much more difficult without you. I didn’t realize what a load you must have been carrying. And now . . .” His voice trailed off as he stared at the river.

  “Now what? I pray there hasn’t been any further outbreak of the cholera.”

  “No, but there are always those in need of medical attention. And with no one to care for them . . .” Once again his sentence remained incomplete.

  “What do you mean no one to care for them? Dr. Carstead is capable. He managed quite well before I came to train with him.”

  “He managed. Though not as well as when he had you working by his side. But now that Blake is gone, it leaves us without anyone to tend to the needy.”

  “Gone?” She hadn’t meant to shout. “Where? Why? I don’t understand.”

  “I can’t give you many answers. I only know that he left town with a young woman. I don’t know where they went or if they’re ever coming back.”

  Amanda wasn’t certain if it was fear or fury that propelled her out of her chair. “Why didn’t you ask him?”

  Her uncle raised his brows, obviously startled by her brusque behavior. “If I’d had an opportunity, I would have done so. He left a note. I’ve told you everything he wrote in his message.”

  “That’s it? Dear Mr. Broadmoor, I’m leaving town with Julia?” Amanda couldn’t believe he wouldn’t say something more.

  “Well, something like that. He did apologize for his abrupt departure.”

  As her anger dissipated into an overpowering sadness, she dropped back into her chair. How could Blake leave without a word? Then again, why would he feel the need to tell her? He’d obviously decided he still loved Julia. The two of them were likely married and settling into a beautiful home in California. Her lips trembled as she struggled to keep her tears in check. Perhaps she had only imagined those words of love being whispered by her bedside. There was no hope for a marriage filled with love and laughter in her future.

  As if on cue, her father stepped onto the veranda. “There you are. Look who’s come for a visit.”

  Amanda swiveled around and looked directly into the eyes of Ellert Jackson. This was the reason she’d been told to remain on Broadmoor Island. Her parents had invited Mr. Jackson.

  Her stomach churned at the sight of him.

  Though he offered a smile, Amanda was unable to clearly gauge his mood. His expression seemed almost guarded, but his words were affable. “It’s a pleasure once again to be in your company, Miss Broadmoor. Or may I address you as Amanda?”

  Her father patted Mr. Jackson’s shoulder. “Of course you may. You’d welcome that, wouldn’t you, Amanda?”

  Her throat felt as though it had been stuffed with cotton. Her lips moved, but not a word came out.

  Mr. Jackson chuckled. “I do believe she’s so overcome with joy at the sight of me that she can’t even speak.” He pulled a chair close and sat down beside her. “I hope you will be pleased to know that your father especially invited me to be your escort to the festivities at Round Island.” Resting his left ankle across his right knee, he tapped his finger on the arm of her chair. “I trust that bit of news is agreeable.”

  Her father stood behind Mr. Jackson’s chair with a beseeching look in his eyes. He appeared to be holding his breath. She cleared her throat. “I accept your invitation, Mr. Jackson.” Her brief acceptance would have to suffice, for she couldn’t bring herself to say the idea of spending the afternoon and evening in Mr. Jackson’s company gave her any joy. “If you gentlemen will excuse me, I believe I’ll go upstairs and fetch my hat.”

  “Don’t be long,” her father called after her. “The boat is leaving in fifteen minutes.”

  Chin tucked, she raced up the steps and into her bedroom. Slamming the door behind her, she leaned against the cool wood and wrapped her arms around her waist. For a short time her breath heaved in short rapid bursts and then slowed to a more normal rate. Her dreams of love collided with the reality of Ellert Jackson, and she wondered if she could possibly marry him. Perhaps he would be willing to wait until they gained a better understanding of each other. If she didn’t love him, she would at least want to become better acquainted prior to their marriage. She pressed her knuckles to her mouth at the thought of marriage to someone so old—a complete stranger. They would have nothing in common.

  A knock sounded on the door, and she jumped in surprise. “Who is it?” The quiver in her voice was obvious.

  “It’s your mother. May I come in?” Her mother didn’t wait for a response. Instead, she was across the threshold and into the room before Amanda could object. “I know this is more than you should be required to bear, and I’m so very sorry.” She wrapped Amanda in a warm embrace and then stepped back and looked her directly in the eyes. “Not all marriages that begin as arrangements are unhappy. If you work at pleasing Ellert, I believe he will treat you with kindness and generosity. After our talk the other night, I had hoped you had begun to accept the arrangement. Who can say? You may even grow to love him.”

  “Mother! How can you ever imagine I could love that old man? We have nothing in common. I won’t even have the comfort of my family close at hand, for you know he won’t want to live in Rochester.”

  “Your father tells me he admires your interest in medicine. Perhaps he would allow you to get the proper education you desire. Maybe in time the age difference won’t seem that great.”

  “But I had hoped to marry for love. To truly desire to spend my life with my husband has always been my dream.”

  Her mother held up her palm. “You know I have never liked this idea of arranged marriages. In the past I’ve opposed your father on every front. But I fear I can be of little help to you now. Too much hangs in the balance for your father—for all of us.” She clasped Amanda’s hand within her own. “Spend some time with Ellert and give him a chance to woo you. A spark may unexpectedly ignite if you give yourself over to the idea that you could care for him.”

  There was noth
ing to say. She wouldn’t argue with her mother, but she couldn’t deny the foreboding weight that had settled in her heart.

  Ellert Jackson waited impatiently for Amanda’s return. She was as beautiful as he remembered her, and he desired to be in her presence. He desired something infinitely more intimate but knew that would have to wait.

  He smiled to himself. How marvelous that things should have worked out so well in his favor. Not only was Jonas Broad-moor in his debt, but he was in a most desperate bind that left the simpleton forced to barter his own daughter to keep out of the poorhouse. The man’s social standing and financial reputation were still the only things that mattered to him.

  “And people believe me to be the cold and calculating one,” Ellert mused.

  “Mr. Jackson, it was a pleasant surprise to hear of your arrival.”

  He looked up to find Victoria Broadmoor standing before him. He gave a polite bow and beamed a smile. “The pleasure, I assure you, is mine. Why, this island is positively blooming with beauty.”

  She blushed. “I wonder if I might speak frankly.”

  “But of course. I would have it no other way.”

  “My husband has told me of your desire to marry our daughter.”

  Ellert nodded. “It was love at first sight. Your Amanda is the most radiant and beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon. Her intelligence and charm far surpass all others.”

  Victoria looked at him oddly for a moment. “You love her?”

  “But of course. Would a man propose marriage for any other reason?”

  “I thought . . . well, that is . . . I presumed this was a type of financial arrangement,” Victoria replied.

  “My dear woman, I know there are those who would consider such an arrangement acceptable, but I cannot be counted among their numbers. My heart’s desire is to marry your daughter and give her the love she deserves.”

  Victoria’s expression seemed to change almost in an instant. The worried countenance softened to a look of pleasant surprise. “I must say, hearing you say that does my heart good.”

  “I’m so glad I could assuage your fears, madam. I would hate for us to get off on the wrong foot. Especially if you are to become my mother-in-law, although with such a youthful and beautiful woman as yourself, we would be better considered siblings than mother and son.”

  She laughed nervously at the comment, as Ellert had hoped she would. Women of her ilk were so easily persuaded by a few flattering words. He would charm her and win her over. While Jonas might know the truth of his choosing Amanda to wed, Ellert believed the man would never confide such a thing to his wife. To tell her he’d all but sold their daughter to save his hide and beloved reputation would surely have killed Jonas Broadmoor.

  15

  Mr. Jackson didn’t appear pleased when Amanda lifted Elizabeth from Paul’s arms and carried her to the boat.

  “I believe the baby would be happier with her father or her nanny,” he said when Amanda settled Elizabeth on her lap.

  “She’s perfectly content right here,” Amanda said, clutching the child closer. She had hoped the baby’s presence would deter him, but Mr. Jackson sat down beside her.

  “I’m pleased to see you are fond of children, Amanda. I hope to have a son—perhaps by this time next year.” He winked and slid closer. “Of course, I wouldn’t want it to interfere with your passion for medicine. But with my money, we could afford the best help. I believe it would be entirely possible for you and me to have a family, even while you completed your medical training.”

  Amanda didn’t know quite what to say. Ellert Jackson was clearly indicating his approval of her interest in medicine. “Your comment surprises me, sir.”

  He leaned close. “And why is that?”

  His breath tickled her ear, and she drew away. “Most men would not desire their wives to seek employment, much less to take an interest in something so controversial as medicine.”

  He straightened and squared his shoulders. “You will learn quickly that I am unlike most men. I respect intelligence, and I equally desire a family.”

  “You were married before, were you not? Did you not desire children then?”

  “My wife suffered certain . . .” He hesitated a moment before continuing. “Difficulties. She suffered difficulties throughout her life that prevented her from bearing children.”

  Heat rose in Amanda cheeks. She shouldn’t have pursued such a delicate subject.

  “I’m sure you’ll have no such problems, my dear Amanda.” He patted her hand. “I hope I have not embarrassed you, my dear. I would like to think we could speak openly about anything.”

  Amanda looked up and nodded. He was clearly doing his best to be kind and considerate of her feelings. Perhaps she could bear this arrangement better than she’d originally thought. Still, there was something about the man that made her uneasy. Maybe it was her inexperience in courtship and matters of the heart. Mr. Jackson had been married before and knew what it was to share such intimacy. That might have explained why he seemed rather . . . possessive. Yes, that was it. He seemed as if he already knew what her answer to his proposal would be. His confidence in the situation made Amanda feel very uncomfortable.

  The water churned alongside the boat as they pulled up to the dock. When Paul extended his arms to Elizabeth, the baby chortled and lurched forward. Amanda watched Paul step onto the dock with Elizabeth in his arms. Silly, but she felt as though she’d lost a semblance of security when she’d handed the infant over to her father. Now there would be no escaping Mr. Jackson.

  “Do you plan to remain on the boat, Amanda?” Mr. Jackson stood in front of her and offered his arm.

  She shook her head. “I was lost in thought.”

  With a firm stance, he offered his arm when she approached his side. Amanda ignored his authoritarian attitude and tucked her hand inside the crook of his arm but was taken aback when he placed his hand atop hers in a far too possessive manner.

  With a jerk she attempted to withdraw from his grasp. He squeezed her hand tight against his arm. “The ground here is quite rocky. I would not want you to fall, dear Amanda.”

  She forced herself to relax. “You are very kind.”

  “I can be kind in many ways,” he said in a low husky voice. “I can hardly wait to show you.”

  “It’s very inappropriate for you to whisper, Mr. Jackson. I wouldn’t want others to get the wrong idea.”

  He laughed. “But we are engaged. Surely they will understand.”

  Amanda frowned and looked away. She hadn’t agreed to marry him, but already Ellert Jackson presumed everything was settled. “Oh, there are my brothers. I’d like to say hello.”

  She tried again to pull away, but he would not release her. “I would be happy to meet your brothers. Why don’t you introduce us?”

  Just then the boys linked arms with their companions and headed toward the hotel. “We should hurry or we’ll never catch up with them. I don’t want to lose them in the crowd.”

  “It appears they are engaged with a group of their friends. Why don’t you wait until later when they aren’t otherwise occupied.”

  The tight grasp he maintained was enough to alert her that his remark was a command rather than a suggestion. A command he meant for her to heed. There was no need to argue. She could see from the set of his jaw that she’d not win.

  When amplified bullhorns announced the horse races would soon begin, Ellert said, “Come along. I have a horse and rider participating in the race. I want to place a wager with some of the owners.”

  “You wager on the horses?”

  Ellert guffawed. “Yes, my dear. So does your father, as well as every other wealthy businessman who attends or has a horse in the running. I’d guess that your brothers have even been known to place a wager or two on an animal. A well-placed wager has proved an enormous help to many a man.”

  “And an enormous loss to others, I would guess,” Amanda said. “I don’t think the risk is worthwhil
e. And I’ve been told it can become addictive—just like strong spirits.”

  Once again he laughed. “Forgive me. I forget your youth and how much you have to learn.” He pulled her close to his side. “I will take great pleasure in teaching you how to become a woman.”

  “I am a woman,” Amanda said.

  “According to the year of your birth, but you are not a woman in the true sense of the word. Not yet.” When they neared the edge of the racing track, Ellert said, “Wait here while I go and speak to my rider and place my wager.”

  A shiver ran up her spine. What manner of man was this that he would speak so intimately of things proper people never discussed in public? She thought to leave, to go in search of her brothers, but knew it wouldn’t please Ellert. She supposed there was no sense in appearing unkind or disrespectful, so she remained in her assigned spot and watched the horses prancing and snorting while their riders led them toward track. The animals held their heads high, seeming to anticipate the attention that would soon be centered upon them.

  “Here you are!”

  Before Amanda could turn around, she was being hauled into the air. She twisted and stretched her toes toward the ground. “Jefferson! You look so much older.”

  He set her on her feet and then held her at arm’s length. “And you look far too thin. Your bout with cholera has taken a toll on you, sister. I think an extra portion at each meal is called for.”

  “Enough about how I look. Do tell me when you arrived home.” She peered over his shoulder. “And where is George?”

  “He’ll be here soon.” Her brother chuckled and leaned closer. “He’s gone to place a wager on a horse. He’s hoping to help save the family from complete financial disaster, although I’ve been advised that you have been charged with that duty.”

  She took a backward step. “Who told you?”

  “Mother. She’s none too happy over the turn of events, but she tells me she holds out hope that all will be well, since your suitor is quite smitten with you. George and I arrived only a short time ago, and we didn’t have time for a long talk with her.”