Crazy In Love With A Thug: Bari and Seven

by LaDonna Robinson

  "Move? Bari, ain't moving no damn where!" Uncle Meestake roared as he came into the kitchen hitching up his boot cut Roebuck jeans. "What the hell is all this I hear about moving, Bari? I know good and damn well you ain't trying to live in that big ass house by your damn lonesome!"

  "Actually, yes, I am."

  "Well, you can forget it! Ain't nothin' in that damn house but a bunch of fuckin' ghosts! I'll be damned if I let you live in that house by yourself! I ain't gon' allow it!"

  Now, Uncle Meestake was upset.

  "Let me tell you both at the same time. Uncle Meestake, Seven, I'm moving. I want to live on my own. You both knew that so quit trippin'."

  "Trippin'?" Uncle Meestake asked. "Trippin'! Girl, you crazy if you think for one minute that I'm gon' let you live there by yourself! This a fuckin' outrage! I can't believe this sh..."

  "For a minute, I could have sworn I heard ..."

  Marion came into the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about.

  "Baby! Where the fuck did you come from? I mean ...I can't believe it!" He swept her up into his arms. "That's where y’all went last night! I sho'll am grateful. Ooh, I missed me some you!"

  They kissed, hugged, kissed, hugged and kissed some more, then headed upstairs. Uncle Meestake said he wanted to show Marion his room. Yeah right.

  I placed the scrambled eggs on a large platter, got the biscuits out of the oven, put the grits in a bowl and laid the sausage on a plate covered with a paper towel. I put it all on the counter until I finished setting the table, then set the food on the table as well and filled the glasses with orange juice. The whole ordeal didn't take a whole five minutes. When I looked up, Seven was leaning against the counter watching me, and Uncle Meestake was standing in the doorway with a sheepish grin on his face. Marion stood behind him, all red faced and flushed. Her hair, which was perfect a few minutes ago, now stood out at all angles. I suppressed a smile and acted as if l didn't notice, and I probably would have gotten away with it if my eyes didn't rest on Uncle Meestake's zipper, which was partly unzipped with his shirt sticking through. I looked back at Seven, who I could tell was trying his hardest to hold back his laugh. As Marion walked into the kitchen and took her seat at the table, Seven whispered to Uncle Meestake about his zipper.

  "Aw man, you know how it is." He grinned and followed Marion. "Seven, If it's alright with you, I'll say the grace." Seven nodded in relief. "God is good, God is great, I thank him for the vittles on every plate," Uncle Meestake prayed and dug in.

  I looked at Seven and shook my head. He smiled. I felt Seven's eyes on me and knew he was watching to see if I'd eat. So I did. I didn't want to hurt Seven. I knew he cared about me and loved me. I ate a biscuit, drank some orange juice and chased it with some coffee.

  When breakfast was over, my uncle decided that he wanted answers that I wasn't ready to provide. I knew he was watching and waiting. I turned to look at him. He motioned for me to come to him. I walked over and stood in front of him.

  "Baby ..." The ringing of the phone interrupted him. "What?" He asked, picking it up. “Hold on."

  He held out the phone for me.

  "Hello?"

  "Bitch, what happened? Seven called and said the move is off."

  "That's cold that he believes that."

  "It's not?"

  "Believe it when you hear it from me," I said, glaring at Seven, who glared right back.

  "What time are we coming over?"

  "Major and Birdie will be here around four."

  "Us too then. Bari?"

  I could tell she was covering the mouth piece with her hand.

  "Yeah?"

  "He didn't hit you, did he?"

  "Of course not, Gucci! Why?"

  "It's just some things that Six said last night made me think it was close to that. I love you,

  Lil’ Sis."

  "I love you, too."

  I hung up the phone and looked at Seven.

  "Yeah, I told her that," he said, before I could say anything.

  "That's okay," I replied.

  I wasn't about to get into it with him.

  "Can I go with you then?"

  His question caught me off guard.

  "What?"

  "I said, can I go with you, and I'm serious."

  I was so touched that I could hardly speak.

  "You wouldn't leave this house, baby."

  I couldn't believe he had said that. It made me want to cry.

  "I would for you," he assured me. "I would do anything for you."

  "I believe you."

  "So, can I? If I don't go, then you don't go. Which is it? Am I going with you, or are you staying here with me?"

  "Seven. . . "

  "Which one?" He gently kissed my lips. I let him pull me into his arms. "Don't ever leave me, Milkshake."

  "I love you, baby."

  "Bari." He held tightly to my waist. It was starting to hurt. I had lost so much weight that his fingers were digging into my ribs. "Answer me."

  "Why do we have to live together to be together? And have you noticed at all that I have a hard time looking at you, or do you think you're the only one that's embarrassed. I'm very ashamed of what I did, Seven. I don't need you to be embarrassed for me. I'm embarrassed enough for the both of us. And no. No, I'm not going to tell you that I'm not moving, and I love you, baby, but I don't want us to live together."

  When I finished cleaning up the kitchen, I went upstairs leaving Uncle Meestake in the living room with Seven watching football. Marion sat curled up by my uncle's side, just happy to be there.

  “Bari!" Uncle Meestake called.

  “Yes?”

  "Come down here!" He yelled excitedly.

  "What is it?"

  "Oh, Bari!" Marion cried.

  "Bari, what' chu think about Marion and I moving out to California?"

  I hugged him so tight I probably squeezed his breakfast right into his pants.

  "Are you serious?"

  "Oh Bari, we can't wait! Please say yes!" Marion pleaded.

  "Yes to what?" I asked.

  "Well Bari, we was hoping you'd let us move into your house until we can find somewhere."

  I looked at Seven and knew he was the one who had suggested it.

  "When are you coming?" I asked.

  "As soon as possible. Maybe in the next couple of weeks. You know I got to tie up a few loose ends," my Uncle said.

  Marion looked at me hopefully.

  "That's fine, Uncle Meestake," I said. "I'd be glad to have you here."

  "Well, why can't Bari live there, too?" Marion asked. "There's all those rooms."

  I thought Seven was going to take off on her. Uncle Meestake saved her.

  "Now baby, now, that ain't a good idea. A man and his woman needs they privacy." I knew what Uncle Meestake was up to. He was definitely in cahoots with Seven. "Thank you, Bari! I sho'll do ‘preciate it. I sho'll do!"

  I nodded and headed back up the stairs. I lay across my bed and thought for a long while. I was overreacting. He had apologized. He had offered to leave his home and come with me. What was I looking for? So what that he left for a few days. He was mad, he was angry and he was trying to avoid a confrontation. It seemed to me that he was trying to go to any length to keep me from leaving, but not in the same way that Darshon did. Seven just loved me and didn't want to be without me. Darshon was Satan.

  "I know you're mad at me," Seven said, coming into the bedroom.

  "No, I'm not, baby. I'm not mad at you. I know why you did that."

  "Maybe you can just keep your room that you've been sleeping in or pick another one further away from mine. But you don't need to be in a whole different house, Milkshake. How am I gon' make sure you're alright?" He asked.

  I looked at him and gave him a little smile.

  "How about I just stay on my side of the bed?" I asked.

  It took him a second to catch on.

  "That's what the fuck I'm talkin' 'bout," he said, pulling me in
to his arms. "Now let's go

  get you some food.”

  "I'm not hungry right now! I'll eat when everybody gets here."

  "Major is already here. Him and Birdie are downstairs."

  "They're early."

  "That fool is crazy. You should see all the shit he brought. Man, I'd be mad if l was Birdie. She said they made like five different stops at different butcher shops. And Major figured that since 'he was in the neighborhood' they would just come over now. They were like an hour away. He really wanted to meet your uncle."

  "Leave Major alone. If it wasn't for him you wouldn't be here," I joked.

  "Damn, that's some real shit! Some other dude would be sitting here with my Milkshake, huh baby?"

  He pondered that thought for a moment, made himself mad and swore that he loved his father.

  Chapter 35

  "Well, it's about time, young Bari! You actin' like you don't miss old Maja! Come give me some love!"

  I hugged him, then Birdie, who let out a small gasp. Major looked past me and glared at Seven, then looked at Birdie who had a worried look on her face.

  "I was just tellin' your Uncle Meestake about that dinner you cooked for me and Birdie the night we met you. I think he's jealous," he laughed.

  "Man, my niece is the best cook under the age of sixty! Let me tell you 'bout the liver I had the other night ..."

  "Y’all ain't seen nothing! I had smothered steak and potatoes a couple of weeks ago," Seven said, quieting Major and Uncle Meestake.

  They sat back down on the couch and talked about food; all of their favorite subjects. I looked up to find Birdie watching me. I took her hand and led her into the kitchen, indicating for Marion to come too. They got better acquainted while I moved around the kitchen preparing the food for the grill.

  "You've lost some weight, huh Bari?" Birdie asked quietly when Marion excused herself for a moment. I nodded. "I wish Major would piss me off that bad." She laughed.

  I joined in with her, then noticed that she was looking at me angrily.

  "What's so funny?" Seven asked, coming in and heading for the refrigerator.

  "None of your damn business," Birdie snapped.

  "Mom! You gon' get at me like that? Wha'd I do?"

  "Since you asked, let me tell you." I could tell he regretted asking. "I know you guys will have fights, all couples do, but don't you ever put your hands on this girl again! I'll have your ass carted off to jail!"

  "Who’s going to jail?" Major asked, coming to stand next to Seven.

  "Seven!" Birdie informed him.

  "Mom. . . "

  "What's he going to jail for? Maybe we can send him to Uncle Teodore, too," Major suggested.

  "I ain't goin' nowhere with no damn Uncle Teodore!" Seven yelled.

  "Oh no, boy. You don't curse the uncle! You'll have bad luck for the rest of your days!" Major said dramatically, while looking around the room like demons were floating there.

  "I didn't do anything!" Seven said.

  "He hit Bari! Look at her eyes!" Birdie accused.

  Before Seven could defend himself, or I could tell her she was wrong, Major popped him upside the head, held his hand over Seven's head and said a Jamaican prayer. Seven loudly smacked his lips in frustration, which was absolutely funny to me because I had never heard him do that before, and swatted away Major's hand from over his head.

  "Oh, Birdie. Da boy has sealed his fate for sure now. He has laid his hands upon his father. The Grands always said ..."

  "Check this out', you and the Grands can s..."

  "Seven!" I yelled. "Birdie, Seven didn't, and hasn't ever hit me. I haven't slept in a while, that's all."

  "What did old Maja tell you about jumping to conclusions, Birdie?" He said, while holding up one finger like he was talking to a toddler.

  "Shut up, Major."

  "Cucumber, Bari. That's what Maja uses when he parties too long and doesn't get enough sleep."

  Seven stood there with his mouth hanging open. Birdie put her head down.

  "Don't try to act like you 'shamed of old Maja. You'll be wanting to borrow these same cucumbas one day," he said to Birdie.

  "Who the hell wants a used cucumber, Major?" She asked.

  He decided to ignore her and started snapping his fingers to a Sean Paul song that was on the C.D. player.

  "I can't believe you, Mom. You should know I would never hit my Milkshake."

  "You're right, baby," she said skeptically.

  "Enough of dese accusations being thrown around," Major began. "Old Maja is ready to put on his chef hat and get to cooking!" He smiled.

  "I hope you brought one for me to. You know I came first in the barbecue sauce contest in last year’s county fair," Uncle Meestake bragged.

  "Well, let's get to it!" Major said.

  "Marion, let's go make sure they don't burn my baby's house down," Birdie suggested.

  "Don't play, Mom."

  Seven didn't want to hear anything about his house becoming a pile of ashes. I didn't blame him one bit.

  "I guess it's just us, huh baby?"

  I stood on my tiptoes and kissed my baby's lips.

  "I better go help."

  "They don't need you."

  "How do you know?"

  "'Cause I do. I know a whole bunch of shit."

  "Like what?"

  "I'II show you," he said, pulling me towards the stairs.

  "I don't think so."

  I stood where I was.

  "You are trippin'," he laughed.

  "Quit playing." I was dead serious.

  "What's wrong with you?"

  He wrapped his arms around me.

  "Seven, we have a house full of people."

  "They won't hear," he assured me, kissing my neck.

  "There won't be anything to hear because nothing is going to happen."

  "Young Bari!" Major called.

  I started laughing.

  "He be trippin'," Seven complained. I started towards the double glass doors that led to the deck when I heard Seven behind me mumbling. "Cock-blockin' ass, makes me sick."

  I laughed even harder. A couple of hours later, it would have been impossible for the tiniest of cars to fit in our driveway.

  "Seven, where did all these people come from? And a better question might be, who are they?" I asked.

  He pointed at Major and shook his head.

  "These are 'his' friends."

  "Man, why is dude walking around in them red tube socks with them green shorts and them brown gator shoes?" Six wanted to know.

  "I don't know, Bro. That's Major's crowd," Seven explained as Uncle Meestake stood up from his chair and started demonstrating some dance he made up that he called the Runaway Slave.

  He ran in place, picking his knees up so high that they almost touched his chest, and kept looking over his shoulder. He kept running faster and faster. Everybody was laughing so hard they were in tears. Even I was cracking up.

  "You like that, Niece?" He asked me. I couldn't even answer him. "Yeah, you like that!"

  He smiled with his chest stuck out as he strutted around. He slapped Major five.

  "I'm going to use that one at the club, Birdie," Major announced. All his Jamaican partners nodded vigorously. I realized that they were dead serious and glanced at Seven, who just shook his head. "Oh, lighten up, Seven. You're too tense.''

  "Tense? Man, you are trippin'," Seven laughed.

  "The boy tiinks his dad is just an old man from the Islands." All Major's friends turned around and looked at Seven. "Struck me this morning." The gasps were audible. "Awww! Old Maja was only kidding you! If this boy ever struck me you would all be calling him three and a half, right Young Bari?" He laughed.

  I wanted to crack up, but Seven was staring all upside my head to see if I would laugh at him. I didn't.

  "That's not funny!" I informed Major, and barely got the words out before I started laughing in Seven's face.

  "That's cold, Milkshake."

&n
bsp; "Milkshake?" Somebody asked.

  "What is Milkshake," asked a man that had salt and pepper colored dreadlocks that hung down to his thighs.

  "Oh! Let Old Maja tell you the story of a young girl named Milkshake."

  Seven looked at me and did an exaggerated laugh in my face.

  "Tell 'em, Dad!" Seven urged him.

  "My uncle is sitting right there!" I whispered. "This isn't funny, Seven."

  And to think I was worried about Uncle Meestake hearing that story. He laughed the loudest, and pointed his finger at me as he laughed. He got up and slapped Seven on the back.

  "Girl, they are dirty," Gucci said. She would never sell me out like Seven just did. "Bitch, look!"

  "Who is that?" I asked, as a man that looked exactly like Major, with dreadlocks not quite as long came in the door.

  With him was a dude that looked identical to my baby, only his eyes were bright green. He was about the same height, same build and his dreads were about the same length. They could have been brothers.

  "Milkshake, this is my Uncle Mandro."

  I looked at Major, who was getting up from his chair, then back to the man.

  "Are they twins?" I asked.

  "Baby, Major is an only child. This is Uncle Teodore's older brother."

  "So, they're brothers of your grandfather?"

  Seven nodded.

  "And this is Mandro's son, Shepard."

  "She's a lovely lady, nephew," Mandro observed. "It's very nice to meet you."

  He had a strong Jamaican accent. I stared into the bright green eyes as I shook Shepard's hand.

  "Man, what's been up?" Six asked him, after his father hugged Major and walked away with him.

  "Tings ave been crazy on the Island. I assume you received what I sent since I didn't receive a phone call?" He asked Seven. I looked at Gucci, who was drooling all over the deck. He smiled at her and she blushed. "Ow ave you been, Beautiful Gucci?"

  "I ...I ..."

  "Oh, spit it out," Six said.

  Seven started laughing, so did Shepard.

  "Where did you find this exquisite an-get?" Shepard asked.

  Gucci giggled.

  "He was talking to Seven, Gucci," Six pointed out.