Crazy In Love With A Thug: Bari and Seven

by LaDonna Robinson

  "I'll eat when I get hungry, Seven."

  "Bari."

  "What?" He hesitated a moment too long. "You don't even have anything to say do you?"

  "I thought I did. I just don't know what to say now."

  "Then don't say anything, just leave me alone."

  "Bari ..."

  "And stop calling my name and not saying anything. You know I hate that." He stood up to leave. "Seven," I called when he was almost to the door. He turned around to face me. A huge lump formed in my throat, tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends. That wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry if I caused you to think less of me."

  "Bari."

  "Leave it at that, please."

  He reluctantly backed out the door and closed it behind him. I picked up the phone and dialed the number that Uncle Meestake had given me for Marion.

  "Hello?"

  "Hi, can I speak to Marion please?"

  "This is Marion."

  "My name is Bari. I'm Meestaques's niece."

  "Bari! I've heard so much about you! I'm so glad you called! How have you been?"

  "I've been fine, and I've been much better since Uncle Meestake got here."

  "Meestake! That is so cute! He was so excited."

  "I know. He told me that you couldn't make it because of the county fair."

  "That's the truth, but I honestly regret it now. My friend Tess could have entered the cobbler, and I could have went with my sweetie."

  I smiled to myself.

  "Actually, I was hoping you would say that."

  When I was done talking to Marion I hung up the phone, got out the phone book, made a few calls, then called her back.

  ''I'm so excited, Bari! Thank you so, so much!"

  I hung up the phone and ran downstairs to pour myself a large cup of coffee. I looked up, and Seven was standing there leaning up against the counter. I rolled my eyes towards the ceiling. Marion assured me that she could make it to the airport in fifteen minutes, and I truly hoped so, being that her flight left in forty-five. I had about three hours to play with, and instead of spending them standing there having a staring match with Seven, I decided to spend them at the airport. I reached past him and snatched the keys off the hook.

  "Where are you goin' this late, Bari?" He didn't ask, but demanded to know.

  "I have something to do."

  "You ain't got shit to do this damn late at night and quit playing with me."

  "I'm not playing. I really do have something to do," I explained, trying not to upset him.

  All I needed was for him to stop me from leaving the house. It would ruin everything.

  "What do you have to do?"

  "Yeah, what do you have to do this late, Bari? You're too young to be out driving around this time of night," Uncle Meestake chimed in.

  I glared at Seven.

  "I have to go to the airport," I whispered. "I'm going to pick up Uncle Meestake's girlfriend. It's a surprise."

  His face immediately softened, then he seemed to be deep in thought.

  "Come on, Milkshake." He took my keys, put them back on the hook and took his down. "I'll take you." That was fine by me, as long as I got there. "That's cool. How'd you set that up?" He asked with admiration as we pulled out of the driveway after lying to my uncle and saying that we were going to the store.

  "Go on and bring me back a li’l’ chicken while you out!”

  "I called her and asked her to come. He loves her. They should be together. There'll be other county fairs."

  “Okay, but what about us?” Seven asked.

  "What about us, Seven?"

  "You said they love each other, and they should be together. We love each other. Shouldn't we be together?"

  "You should have thought about that before you stayed away from me for a whole week and didn't care if I thought you were alive or dead."

  "It wasn't that I didn't care. I was upset, Bari."

  "Regardless. You could have called and said, 'I'm upset,' but you chose not to call at all. That was messed up. And you wouldn't even talk to me until you thought I was about to leave you. It shouldn't take for that to happen to get you to tell me that you're upset."

  "What time is this lady's flight coming in?"

  "In about three hours."

  "Three hours! What the hell kind of shit is that, Bari?"

  "You wanted to come. I was coming by myself for a reason, Seven."

  "How 'bout we go back home, and I'll come pick her up when it's time?” I shook my head. "Why not?" He asked irritably.

  "Because a two hundred and sixty pound black man can't pass for a one hundred and twenty pound black girl. I already gave her a description of myself, and that's who she'll be looking for."

  "What if I hold up a sign with her name on it, like the chauffeur's do?"

  I glanced over at him. He was dead serious.

  "If you don't want to stay you can go back home. I can handle this."

  "That's the problem now. You think you can handle any and every thing by yourself."

  "Then stop complaining, Seven. You wanted to come. I didn't invite you."

  "Well, what the hell would I look like letting you sit in the airport by yourself this late? Do you know what kind of people be at these places waiting to jack people and shit?”

  I dramatically turned my head and looked out the window. I guess he was right. Not five minutes after we found a place to park, a man wearing a long gray pee-stained trench coat, opened it wide and flashed his grimy penis in our direction. I gasped. Seven laughed. He had made his point.

  "That's not funny, Seven!" I snapped, visibly shaken at the thought of what could have happened if I was alone. He was still laughing. "Well, I guess it wasn't so bad. Beats not seeing one at all," I said sarcastically. He immediately stopped laughing. "Maybe it's about time to find a new one."

  "You better quit fuckin' playin' with me, Bari." He suddenly got serious.

  "What do you care? You don't even know how to keep your mutha fuckin' ass at home where you belong! You don't give a fuck about me, for real, and you know it! If you did, there wouldn't have been no way that you could have stayed away from me for so long!" I burst into tears. "And how do I know that you weren't with someone else?"

  "You know better than that shit. Don't even come at me like that." He was right. I did know better, but still, it sounded good. "Look, Milkshake ..."

  "Don't call me that," I interrupted. "That's what you used to call me when you loved me!" I said dramatically.

  "Girl, cut that shit out!" He laughed, and I soon joined in. "You're crazy as hell." He turned and faced me in the seat. "I love you, Bari. You know that, and if you don't think that being away from you was just as hard for me as it was for you then you don't know me at all."

  I looked at him for a long time.

  "I was scared," I admitted.

  "I know, baby, but you have to believe that no matter how mad I get, no matter what I say or do, that I will never leave you. You're my whole world, Milkshake."

  "I wasn't trying to hurt you, you know," I said.

  "I know that. I knew it then, and I know it now. But still. You might not ever understand why I felt like I felt, but you need to know that I never stopped loving you, Bari. I love what you gave me. That's an awesome gift, and I appreciate it, even though I'm not going to accept it."

  "Why not?"

  "Because, baby, some things just aren't meant to be given away. That's part of your future. Your father gave that to you. It's not for you to give away. I know you love me. I know you're not going anywhere," he said with force and glared at me. "And I know that there's nothing in the world you wouldn't do for me. So all that paperwork you signed over is voided, baby. The club is still yours. Besides, I think it'll be a-bomb ass experience for you to run that club. You're young, you're energetic ...well, you would be if you would eat something,” he said sadly.

  "I'm not trying to starve myself or anything. It's just that e
very time I start to eat, I feel sick inside. I missed you too much to be thinking about food, and sometimes it seems like I just forget to eat."

  "I understand. My baby was lovesick, huh?" He asked, pulling me into his arms.

  "I love you so much," I whispered.

  "I love you too, baby." He squeezed me tightly. "Your uncle is going to be so happy, huh baby?" I nodded. "What about his party? Did you call Gooch and Six?”

  “Yes, I did."

  "You call Major and Birdie?"

  "Yes."

  "They all might as well just stay the night. It's gon' be late. Then they can kick it all day Sunday. What do you think?"

  "That's cool. I know Gucci is staying. She's helping me move Sunday," I said quietly.

  "What the fuck did you just say?" He asked, holding me by my shoulders.

  "I said she's helping me move."

  "Move?" He sounded confused.

  "Yes, move. Into the house that you just failed to mention is ready for me, but hold on, Seven. I know now that you didn't tell me because you didn't want me to leave, and I think that's sweet, but it's still messed up that you didn't tell me."

  "Fuck all that shit! What the fuck do you mean you're moving?" He asked, slamming his fist on the steering wheel.

  "Seven, calm down."

  The veins in his thick neck were standing at attention, and his voice echoed inside the Hummer.

  "Don't tell me to mutha fuckin' calm down! Bitch, you must be crazy if you think you're moving away from me!"

  My stomach dropped to my feet as he continued to rant and rave. That was the first time Seven had ever called me out my name, and it hurt me worse than all the other times in my life put together that I had been the target of verbal abuse.

  "I'll kill yo' ass first!"

  I did the only thing I knew how to do. Something that I had learned many years before. I escaped to the safest place I knew. A place where Seven's threats and words couldn't touch me or my heart.

  "We're so happy for you, Bari. Your father and I are so proud of you for moving out on your own. We know you'll make us proud. We love you so much, Bari," Mrs. Cleaver said, as she placed a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a glass of ice cold milk on the table in front of me.

  Chapter 33

  "Bari, is that you? It's me Marion."

  She extended her hand for me to shake.

  "It's so nice to meet you."

  I pulled her into a hug.

  "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

  "I'm just so glad you're here," I lied. "Uncle Meestake is going to be so happy."

  "Oh, that is so sweet!" She exclaimed. "And you must be Seven. You sure are a big guy, aren't you?" She giggled. She was very pretty. Uncle Meestake hadn't lied about that. "I appreciate this so much. I can't wait to see him. I miss him so much. I can't stand being away from him. I love him so much," she said dreamily.

  "Did you have a good flight?" I asked, still fighting back tears.

  I was so upset, more upset than I could ever remember being in my life. I was more hurt and afraid than mad. ·

  "I had a wonderful flight. I've never flown first class before," she confided. After we retrieved her suitcase from the baggage claim, we headed to the parking lot. "Wow! An Army truck! This is nice! Nicer than my Stakie's Cadillac with the big bullhorns on the hood!"

  I couldn't help but smile. I climbed into the back and let Marion ride in the front with Seven. He hadn't said two words to the woman since he’d introduced himself. He glared at me in the rear view mirror. I turned my head. I was waiting for him to slam in a rap C.D. and blast Marion and I out, but he didn't.

  He carried Marion's suitcase into the house, carried it up to one of the guest rooms, then came back down. I showed Marion to her room, careful not to wake Uncle Meestake, who slept in the one next door. I could tell by the way he way snoring when I passed his door that we had not disturbed him.

  "I can't fuckin' believe you," Seven said when I walked into my bedroom.

  He was sitting on my bed with his head hung down.

  "And I can't believe your ass either," I snapped. "But thanks for showing me your true colors. I knew it was only a matter of time."

  "Fuck all that. You might as well cancel your plans. It ain't gon' happen."

  "Seven, you've been knowing for months that I was waiting for this. Why are you trying to make it difficult for me?"

  "Difficult for you? Difficult for you? What about me? What the fuck about me?" He asked. "You're playin' games, Bari."

  "I've never been more serious in my life, Seven."

  "Then what was all that shit you was talking a little while ago?"

  "It wasn't shit. I do love you, and you know it. But I never want to feel the way I felt this past week again, and it's just a matter of time before it happens again for some other reason. I'm not ever going to put myself through that again, and I'm not going to let you put me through it either. It doesn't matter if we would have stayed together or not. I still planned to move."

  "What the fuck do you mean, ‘If we would have stayed together or not'? We are together."

  "It's funny to me that a man like you would want a ho and a bitch for his woman."

  "You know I didn't mean that."

  "I don't know a damn thing. I only know what you said, and I know how it made me feel."

  "You're not moving, and we're not discussing it anymore. I said what I had to say."

  He walked out and slammed the door. I walked out behind him and followed him to his room. I mustered up some courage and began to speak.

  "I'm moving, Seven, and you need to accept that. That doesn't mean that I don't love you, or that I won't miss you, but I can't stay here, and I'm not going to."

  "It would really be in your best interest to shut that shit up, Bari. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to hear it and don't bring it up again."

  "You know what? I tried to be as adult about this shit as possible, Seven. I tried to make it as painless as possible for both of us, but I see you're not going to try to meet me half way so fuck it. I'm through."

  I turned around and began to walk out the door.

  "Through with what?' He stormed. "What the fuck are you through with, Bari?"

  He slammed the door shut so hard that it seemed like it would go right through the wall when it closed.

  "Everythang all right in there?" Uncle Meestake yelled form down the hall.

  He probably woke up to see if we had brought more chicken home.

  "Yes, Uncle Meestake!" I answered before he decided to come to the door and check out the ruckus. "What part don't you understand, Seven? I'm through with everything, including you!"

  "You got me fucked up! You better check yourself and remember who the fuck you're talkin' to! I ain't ever treated no bitch the way I treat you! I ain't never let nobody move up in my mutha fuckin' house! I invested my whole life into you! And if you think you just 'bout to pack up and move 'cause you feel like it you really got shit twisted!"

  "Seven," I said calmly.

  "Naw, fuck all that."

  "You need to give it a chance, and you need to respect my decision. Please."

  "Like I told you already, I'm not respecting a mutha fuckin' thing."

  "Seven, you just spent a whole week not being able to even look at me. You just spent a whole night going back and forth between being in love and being disgusted. I don't need to be here. At least until we can work through this."

  "We did work through it. Then you came out with that dumb ass shit about moving! You can stand here and talk 'til you're blue in the face. It ain't gon' change shit, Bari! You ain't goin' no damn where!"

  "Yes, I am," I said as gently as I could. "And you can keep saying I'm not going until you're blue in the face. It isn't going to change anything either. I love you more than I love myself, Seven, but this is something that I have to do for both of us. You don't know how it felt when I saw the look on your face when you came home after be
ing gone all those days. It was like you were looking at a stranger, and yes, we did have a partial make-up a little while ago, but you know what? The look was still there. Behind all the smiles and the hugs, you were still looking at the same 'ho' you saw in me that night. I can't live with that. You've lost respect for me, Seven. You know it, and I know it, and I can't stand that thought. So, do us both a favor and let me go."

  "I can't, and I'm not. So forget it," he said with finality.

  "I'm sorry, Seven, but you have no choice."

  I closed the door and went to my room. I pulled the curtains back and watched the sun coming up over the horizon.

  Chapter 34

  "Have you slept at all?" Uncle Meestake asked, sitting down with his coffee cup at the table.

  I was already up and making breakfast.

  "Yeah," I lied.

  "You havin' breakfast with your uncle this morning?"

  "I already ate,'' I lied again, and felt terrible for doing so.

  I would make it up to him though.

  "I tried to call that woman of mine this morning, and she wasn't home. I sho'll would like to know where she's up and off to this morning."

  "Just try back later, Uncle Meestake. I'm sure you'll get in touch with her."

  "I sho'll do miss that woman. Miss her like my favorite pair of alligator shoes that got burnt up in that garage fire," he said, getting up from the table, rolling up the newspaper and carrying it with him to the bathroom near Seven's recreation room.

  I wanted to holler after him and let him know it was that bucket of chicken he ate last night, but I left it alone and shook my head with a smile on my face.

  "Hi," I said, as Seven went to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of orange juice.

  "Hey," he replied, and stood there holding the glass with a confused look on his face.

  I was hoping he wouldn't snap and bust me in the back of the head with a frying pan while my back was turned. I decided to concentrate on the fluffiness of my eggs when I felt a pair of strong arms encircle my waist.

  "I love you, Milkshake. You just don't know how much I love you. I can't lose you, baby. You're my life. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you're anything less than my queen. You're my baby, and I can't give you up. The last thing in the world I wanted was to run you away. I don't ever want you to go. I apologize for everything I said and did, and I promise I'll never stay away from you that long again, but I'm not letting you move out of here."