First Instinct

by Suzie O'Connell

  “What do you think of Nick’s girlfriend?” Beth asked lightly, hoping a change in the conversation would further dispel her dark musings.

  “She’s a hottie, but he’s always had good taste in women.”

  “Thank you for not making a big deal about going out with them tonight. I know you didn’t really want to.”

  “I had fun. And Nick wasn’t a buzzkill like he usually is anymore.” He fingered a strand of hair that had pulled loose from her ponytail for a moment before tucking it behind her ear. “Next time we go out with him and Michelle—that’s her name, right?—remind me to bring enough cash to pay for all of us. I honestly thought it was your turn.”

  “I know you did.”

  “And I think maybe you should teach me how to dance…. Properly like you and Nick do. Because I know you enjoy it, and I like making you smile.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. “You have the most beautiful smile, you know.”

  “So do you. Well, since you’re here, shall we get started? I have the first draft of the script done. Here.”

  She handed him the copy she’d made for him, and he sighed. Rolling her eyes, she pressed record on the tape recorder and sat up straight. “All right. We’re recording. Just read it through this time. I want to check first for flow and rhythm. Ready?”

  “I guess.”

  “Here we go.”

  She waited for him to start reading. When he didn’t, she glanced at him to find him watching her with a peculiar half-smile.

  “Have I told you yet today how much I love you?” He leaned in and kissed her again.

  “Yep.”

  “Have I told you how beautiful you are?”

  “You have now.”

  “How about that you drive me crazy?”

  “Trey….”

  “I know, I know. But I can’t help myself.” He brushed his hand across her cheek and tucked it behind her head as he pressed his lips to hers once more.

  “I suggest you find a way because the tape recorder is still recording, and I doubt Dr. Keller will accept a make-out session for our ad.”

  “Sex sells, babe. Lighten up and have a little fun for once.” He grinned, then glanced away. “You know, I’ve always liked that you don’t have a totally girly room. No pictures of your favorite pop stars plastered all over your walls. Lots of horse stuff, but since you are a ranch girl, I guess I can deal with that.”

  Beth’s mouth fell open. He guessed he could deal with that? What the hell? She said nothing as he lazily perusing her rustic decorations and her array of pictures of the Northstar Valley, her family, and friends, and it was only by pure stubbornness that she was able to keep her expression blank. Between that comment, his recent aggressiveness, and Nick’s comments, she was beginning to wonder if they’d make it to their one-year anniversary.

  “The pink and purple your roommate last year filled your dorm with was disgusting,” he said after a while.

  Just let it go, she told herself. “Yeah…. Why do you think I was so glad to have my own room this year?”

  “I’m glad you have your own room this year, too.” He slid his hand over her knee and up her thigh. When she squirmed away, he said, “Oh, come on, babe. We’ve been together for a year.”

  Don’t you dare let Trey convince you he needs it. Nick’s words sprang into her mind, and anger flashed. “And I’ve told you I want to wait until marriage. You used to respect that.”

  Ignoring her, he scooted closer and slipped his hand under the skirt of her dress as he sought her mouth with his.

  “Trey. Stop.”

  “No.”

  When she tried to pull away, he dug his fingers into her thigh. The spark of amusement was gone from his eyes, and charming smile no longer lifted his lips. A shiver of dread shuddered through her, and she leaned away in alarm, knocking her tape recorder off the nightstand with her elbow. She glanced briefly over her shoulder to see where it had gone, but Trey tightened his grip, drawing her attention back to him.

  “Trey… let go.”

  “I think your whole waiting-until-marriage vow is a sham. Darryl had some very interesting things to say tonight. Said you were quite the wildcat in bed, that you like it rough. I never would have thought it possible until he brought it up—you’re always so quiet and shy—but watching you dance with Nick tonight…. You really do know how to use that sexy little body of yours.”

  “Nick and I have been dancing together for years now. You know that. Of course we know how to move well together.”

  “I get the feeling that’s not the only way you know how to move with him.”

  “Knock it off, Trey. You know I’ve never been with anyone.”

  “Do I? Darryl says differently.”

  Beth’s eyes burned with tears. “Darryl is lying.”

  “I don’t think he is. The way he told it was a little too—what’s the word—plausible to be made up.”

  “I’ve never slept with him or anyone. And I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.” She winced when Trey tightened his grip, certain he was going to leave a bruise. “Please let go.”

  “Am I not good enough for you? Is that it? But Darryl is.” His grin turned feral. “And Nick, too, that stick-up-his-ass son of a bitch.”

  “Leave Nick out of this.”

  “You two always have been a little too friendly. For God’s sake, you have more pictures of him in your room than of me,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “He’s always hugging you, kissing your cheek… and, wow, the way you two moved together at the Club tonight. Made me hard just watching you. Tell me my eyes are lying to me, Beth.”

  “Nick and I are friends. Very good friends, yes, but I promise, that’s all we’ve ever been.”

  Trey met her gaze, and the hatred in his brown eyes sent a shock of fear and anger straight to her core. “Bullshit.”

  She glanced at her clock and hoped Nick would hurry up with his paper.

  “Let go of me and get out of my room,” she said, carefully enunciating each word. “And don’t come back until you’re ready to apologize.”

  For a moment, Trey stared at her, and she thought he’d listen, but then he buried his fingers in her hair, loosening her ponytail a bit, and kissed her with a tenderness that entirely contradicted his words. Instinct told her to stop him before he got carried away again, but he refused to relinquish her mouth. He shifted his hand lower, splaying his fingers across her upper back and pinning her firmly to him while his other hand stroked the curve of her hip under her skirt. There was no trace of the desire that should accompany such touches, only deepening alarm. He was strong. She tried to wiggle away again, put her hands against his chest and pushed, but he held her firmly and grabbed hold of her hip roughly enough to make her whimper.

  “Where ya goin’, babe?” he said mockingly. “I’m not finished with you yet. Not even close.”

  “Yes, you are. Let me go and get out. Now.”

  “Not until I’m finished.”

  “You are finished. Stop this now and get out.”

  He backhanded her and shoved her face-down into the mattress. “I bet you never told them to stop.”

  She screamed then as terror lanced through her. With horrifying ease, he wrenched her arms behind her back. Straddling her with his knees holding her arms firmly against her body, he yanked his belt off and wrapped it tightly around her wrists. She thrashed with every ounce of strength she possessed and screamed again, but it was useless.

  “Scream all you want, babe. No one’s around to hear you. Everyone’s out partying it up, remember?”

  “Please, don’t do this.”

  He ignored her and sat back for a moment to rip her dress. Tears flooded her eyes as she panted for breath and continued to struggle in his grasp.

  Please, Nick… please hurry.

  Trey loosened his hold for a moment to unbutton his jeans, and she writhed beneath him with renewed effort, twisting her head out of his grasp to let out the loudest scream she coul
d. Then she flung her upper body back and cracked him in the nose with the back of her head. He bellowed in wordless rage and grabbed a fistful of her long hair, jerking her head around painfully until her face was turned toward him. From the corner of her vision, she saw a trickle of blood seep from one nostril, and fury ignited. She shrieked again, this time with savage anger.

  “Shut up!”

  He cuffed the side of her head again, dazing her, and her next scream came out as a whine.

  With his hand pressed cruelly against her neck to keep her pinned to the bed, he dragged her legs over the edge and spread her knees apart.

  Her screams disintegrated into sobs. She couldn’t fight him off, couldn’t wrench herself free from his grip. He was too strong. And he was right. It didn’t matter how loud or how long she screamed; there was no one around to hear her. Even if by some miracle Nick had, it was too late.

  “That’s right, bitch,” Trey snarled, twisting his hand in her hair again and yanking her head back. “You’re mine now.”

  Three

  Nick leapt down the entire first flight of stairs, nearly slamming into the wall on the other side of the narrow landing. He pushed against the wall with one hand to regain his balance and bounded down the second flight three steps at a time with the screams growing louder as he descended. He hit the floor and took off at a dead run. By the time he reached Beth’s door, the screams had quieted into sobs. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked, and panic grew with each thud of his heart.

  “Beth!” he yelled.

  “Nick!” she wailed in response.

  The hysteria in her voice knifed through him, and he rammed the door with his shoulder again and again until wood splintered and the screws fastening the hinges to the solid panel ripped out. Only vaguely aware of the sharp throbbing in his shoulder, he kicked the door open and burst into the room. A split second was all he had to take stock of the situation. Trey, with a bloodied nose and a savage sneer, had Beth naked and bent over the bed. For the briefest moment, Nick’s gaze locked with Beth’s, and at the sight of the pain in her beautiful blue eyes, all rational thought vanished.

  He barreled into Trey, driving him into the wall beyond the foot of the bed. Beth cried out again, and at once, Nick placed himself between her and Trey. Trey pushed off the wall and sent a fist toward his face, but he ducked, and his injured shoulder took the blow. Pain shot through it, but he twisted and drove his elbow into Trey’s gut. Pushing his head against his opponent’s chest, he grabbed him behind the knees, and in a single fluid motion, he hoisted Trey off the ground and slammed him down. Trey’s head connected with the hard floor, and the air rushed from his lungs, but he thrashed wildly and clipped Nick in the cheek with a fist. With one arm across Trey’s chest, Nick pulled himself up and sent his fist into Trey’s face. It took only a few punches before Trey stopped fighting back and could no longer lift his arms to shield himself.

  With his chest heaving, his lungs burning, and his right shoulder aching, Nick pushed to his feet and paused only a moment to make sure Trey wasn’t going to get up. His old friend rolled onto his side with a half-conscious groan. Shock and fury pulsed through Nick, but he ignored the desire to go after Trey again and instead turned to Beth.

  She lay on her side, curled into a ball. Her arms were tied behind her back with a leather belt, and tears seeped between her tightly closed eyelids. Nick took a step toward her and noticed the smudge of blood on the inside of her thighs, and he nearly collapsed to the floor beside her. Let this be a horrible dream. Please don’t let this be real.

  He settled on the edge of the bed and softly called her name. She didn’t respond, didn’t give him any indication that she’d heard him.

  “Beth, sweetheart.”

  “Nick,” she croaked, turning her eyes on him.

  “I’m going to untie you, all right?”

  She nodded, and her body shuddered as she tried to draw a deep breath. As gently as he could, he loosened the knot Trey had tied the belt into. He expected her to shy away, but when her hands were free, she curled her fingers tightly around his arm, and dragged herself to him, clinging to him as sobs wracked her body. He leaned down to pick her ruined dress up off the floor and draped it around her. He held her tightly as she babbled incoherently.

  A few feet away, Trey groaned again.

  “I have to get you out of here,” Nick said as a fresh burst of adrenaline rushed through him. “I have to get you away from him.”

  Without letting go of Beth, he reached toward the small dresser at the head of her bed and pulled open the top drawer. He grabbed a tank top and her flannel pajama pants, then carefully lifted her into his lap and pushed shakily to his feet. With one arm behind her shoulders and the other behind her knees and her arms tight around his neck, he stepped past the skewed door and into the vacant hall beyond, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Trey hadn’t gotten up yet.

  “I think… I need to puke,” Beth said.

  He carried her into the bathroom, set her on her feet, and she promptly leaned over the garbage can and vomited. When the gagging stopped, she crumpled to the floor, crying again.

  “I need a shower,” she said, scrubbing her hands over arms before folding them closely around herself.

  Nick knelt on the floor beside her and gathered her into his arms, ignoring the stabbing ache in his shoulder and how badly he was shaking. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he acknowledged that his cheek stung and that the knuckles of his left hand were torn and bleeding, but he ignored all that, too. Every drop of his attention was focused on Beth.

  With his back against the cold, hard wall of a bathtub, he held her as she cried. Tears trickled hotly down his cheeks, and he pinched his eyes closed only to see again the scene that had greeted him when the door broke off its hinges. There was no doubt in his mind what had happened, but he wished with everything that he’d wake up in the morning and find out that this was all no more than the most hideous dream.

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered. “So, so sorry.”

  Slowly, she stopped crying but didn’t loosen her hold on him. Nick lifted her up and over the tub and turned on the tap so she could rinse out her mouth, then settled her in his lap again and stroked his hand lightly over her back. As the adrenaline ebbed, the pieces of coherent thought knitted together. He needed to take her to the hospital to be examined.

  “I need a shower,” Beth said again.

  “I know you do, sweetheart, but you can’t yet. We have to get you to the hospital first.”

  “No!” she cried, and her tears broke loose again. “No, please. I can’t.”

  “Beth, you’ve been raped.” He choked on the word, but it was the truth. “The sooner you get a rape exam, the better.”

  “I can’t….”

  He tightened his arms around her and promised that he wouldn’t let anything else happen to her.

  “Just like that night when we were seven, and we rode out a snowstorm in a shed. Do you remember? Your folks came down to help us move some calves into the barn, and while everyone else was distracted, you took off to check on the kitten of the barn cat who’d been killed by a coyote. I found you just as the whiteout hit, and we kept each other warm snuggled up with that cat under an old canvas tarp. And when we walked into my house in the morning, your parents were so happy you were all right that they let you keep her as a pet. You named her Winter.”

  “She’s been the best cat,” Beth murmured.

  “Yes, she has.” He rested his cheek on the top of her head. “We survived that night, and somehow, we’ll survive this one, too.”

  At last, she calmed enough to let him help her dress in the pajama pants and tank top. She eyed the ruined turquoise dress and after she nearly wretched again, she begged him to throw it out. Because she still seemed incapable of walking, he picked her up again and carried her out of the bathroom and down the hall, grimacing against the intensifying pain in his shoulder. When he passed her room, h
e glanced inside. Trey had disappeared, so he hurried outside, hoping they wouldn’t see him again tonight.

  The night air had cooled quickly, and Beth shivered. Nick wished he’d thought to grab her pullover or anything to keep her warm, but he had a flannel in his truck; that would have to do. His truck was parked on the street that ran by the north side of Mathews Hall, so the walk was short, and once he reached his vehicle, he settled Beth gently in the passenger seat. For a moment, he was afraid he’d have to pry her arms from around his neck, but she grudgingly released him, and he draped his flannel over her like a blanket.

  She didn’t say anything during the short, two-block ride to the hospital nor when he carried her to the door. She only stared blankly ahead. Her lack of responsiveness scared him. He buzzed the emergency room door, and within seconds, a nurse clad in wine-colored scrubs arrived with a wheelchair and flipped the switch on the automatic glass doors. They hissed open.

  Nick dismissed the wheelchair with a shake of his head.

  “What happened?” the nurse asked, ushering them inside.

  “She was….” Nick’s voice failed, and he swallowed before he tried again as he followed the nurse up the ramp to the nurses’ station. “She was raped. I–I heard her scream…. I didn’t get there fast enough.”

  “How long ago?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe twenty minutes. Thirty. I don’t know. I’m sorry.” Then he remembered talking to Michelle just before eleven and finishing his paper shortly after and trying to print it. “Wait. It was just after eleven.”

  “Nearly two hours ago, then. It’s almost one.”

  Two hours? Had they sat on the floor of the bathroom that long?

  The nurse led him to an exam room, pausing at the nurses’ station only long enough to page the on-duty doctor and to grab a clipboard and paperwork. She gestured for Nick to take Beth inside. When he tried to set Beth on the bed, she tightened her arms around his neck and whimpered.

  “Shh,” he whispered. “It’ll be all right. No one’s going to hurt you again.”