Just Between Us: A Friend's to Lover's Romance

by Bri Stone

  “I see. So, you’re trying to be a good friend not a horny man in love?”

  “Ma!” She laughed at my embarrassment.

  “I’m joking. Well what did she say then?”

  “I told her to tell me her decision today, so I don’t know.”

  “Do you think she’ll say yes?” I exhaled all at once.

  “I don’t know. Honestly. I can’t lie and say I don’t hope she does. Really, I just don’t want her doing it with some random guy, more than anything.”

  “I know. It shows how much you care about her.”

  “Yeah, I do care about her. I don’t want her to get hurt, and I especially don’t want to be the one who hurts her.”

  “You won’t. Not if you’re honest.”

  “Thanks, ma.” I smiled a bit. Already feeling better. If I ever want to talk about something to someone, I do it with Lori. But I can’t for this. My mom is my only other confidant. I don’t keep many friends around; I don’t really need to. I’m cool with all the guys on the team but I can’t talk to them about shit like this.

  “No problem sweetie. You talk to me if you need to, okay?”

  “I will. I gotta go.”

  “Okay, bye sweetie.” I tapped my phone and hung up.

  I exhaled heavily and ran a hand through my hair. I rubbed my face, suddenly feeling very tired. I went in the living room to find Lori on the couch.

  “Ready?” She stood up. Her jeans hugged all the lines of her legs perfectly, as did her tight sweater with a high V-neck, showing only a little bit of cleavage. I swallowed.

  “Yeah.”

  On the way to the library, she was quiet. I decided I should tease her a bit, bring her out of the shell she tugged herself in. She does that anytime she has to make any sort of decision so I didn’t take it personally.

  She walked through the aisles of books and I followed. Didn’t have anything else to do, and before you say it, I do it all the time.

  “What are you looking for?” I asked her. She scrunched up her face as she grazed the spines of books. We were in the fiction section, usually she just grabs something and runs with it.

  “Um, anything besides romance.” I moved closer to her so that I was inches away.

  My chest was close to her shoulder and I looked down at her head.

  “That’s different.”

  She shrugged.

  “It’s been giving me unrealistic expectations.” She turned her head to read the spines sideways.

  “Hmm, nothing wrong with that.” I smirked.

  She turned up to look at me. Her eyes met mine before she moved down to my lips. I licked them for good measure and then she looked away. She turned and started on the other shelf.

  “What kind of stuff do you read at work?” I asked casually.

  “Um, this is the first manuscript I’ve been given. But my editor works mostly with science fiction.”

  “You haven’t read stuff like that since junior high.” She nodded.

  “I need to broaden my horizons.”

  “And other things?” She froze, the look she gave me made me double over in laughter. She turned to face the opposite wall, I moved behind her. I inched closer to her so that my waist was against her back, her body tensed but then relaxed. We don’t really get close like this. I was trying to make her see what she could have, see that she should be comfortable with the person she has sex with for the first time.

  “I’m not rushing you, but you haven’t given me an answer.” I leaned down to whisper in her ear, I saw the goosebumps rise on her cheeks, “I want to make you feel good, Cheesecake.”

  I heard her shallow breaths, saw her cheeks darken. I was getting her hot and bothered. Well, I can’t say whoops because I do mean it.

  “Dillon…” she turned to face me. I trapped her between the shelf and my front with my hands by her head. She swallowed, dragging her eyes up my body slowly until her eyes met mine. Her big blue eyes seemed to grow larger, wide with wonder. I did that. I smirked a little.

  “I’m just putting it out there.” I rubbed my crotch closer to her. I didn’t want to do too much and scare her off, but I wanted her to see that there could be sexual tension between us. And that it was important for her to have a good time.

  “It’s way out there.” She nodded to my budding erection.

  “Just go with your gut and answer. It doesn’t have to be complicated.”

  “I know it doesn’t. But how would we even go about it?”

  I shrugged.

  “We can pick a day…or I can just come up behind you and take you.” I joked. But her breath hitched and she blinked twice. No…

  “Unless…you want me to do that? Surprise you?” I couldn’t help but smile ear-to-ear. She swallowed and bit her lip nervously. She is so damn cute.

  “I…it’s something that I’ve thought about. But it can’t be the first time.” I nodded. I could do that. I could do a whole lot of things she wants.

  “Okay. What other fantasies do you have?” She giggled.

  “I’m not talking about this with you.”

  “You’re about to have sex with me Cheesecake, this is elementary.” I jumped the gun but she didn’t deny it…

  “I think about lots of stuff. But I don’t want to say it in a library.” She looked around. We were blocked off by two shelves so I don’t know what she was worried about.

  “It’s only the beginning of the semester, no one is in here. Spill.”

  “I’ve only ever thought of role playing and…and being tied up.” My eyes widened in shock but then softened a bit.

  “I did that once.”

  “You got tied up?” She shrieked.

  “Yeah, but I also tied her up. She’s on the dance team here.” She thought back, because I had told her about it. Why does she forget these things?

  “Oh.” I sighed. I gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek softly.

  “I’m gonna need an answer by dinner time. You know you can’t make a decision without a deadline.” I teased her.

  “Okay…but,” she shook her head. I moved my hands and stepped back so she could move, but she didn’t. I grinned internally.

  “But what?” I craned for her gaze. She met my eyes and gave me a stern look.

  “I can’t lose you, you’re my best friend. It can’t…change things.” That scared me a little, only because I didn’t know what she meant.

  “Like what? Fall in love with each other or something?” My voice was tremulous. I had already fallen in love with her.

  “I just want you to always be my best friend.”

  “Of course.”

  I knew it wasn’t much. But she didn’t dismiss the thought entirely. It gave me hope. And it had me counting down the hours until dinner time.

  Sixteen:

  Watching anyone else browse books would have been boring and time consuming, but watching Lori do it just had me lost in time. Lost in her. I started to wonder, if she did say yes, if I would be able to resist her after that. Having sex with her would just open a can of worms—a whole new kind of desire for her.

  If I knew what it was like…I could never forget it and move on, not with her.

  “I think I found something.”

  She held up a hardback book. I took it from her, pretending to read it. All I knew was the title, A Canticle for Leibowitz.

  “Looks good…isn’t it a bit old?” I knew enough about books from Lori to know when they were older or newer.

  “Yeah, but a book is a book.”

  She finally went to the check out after almost two hours. Two hours of watching her bend and reach for books, showing off her ass and bare stomach…I was begging her to say yes but at the same time, I would be relieved if she said no.

  How could I be just her friend after having her?

  It didn’t seem possible.

  We’ve been friends for so long though, I think it would take more for us to grow apart.

  I
swiped my ID for her and we were on our way.

  “You better turn it in on time, I have a perfect record.” I teased her. She shook her head with a laugh.

  “Because you never go there for anything.”

  I shrugged. That was also true.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “You just did.” She retorted.

  “Come on, don’t be smart.” I nudged her knee, my hand lingered before I pulled it back to the steering wheel.

  “What?” She giggled.

  “Did anyone else…say anything about your blog?” I asked hesitantly.

  “You mean did anyone else offer?”

  I glanced at her quickly, she arched her thick brow.

  “Yeah.” I replied softly. She sighed and fiddled with her fingers.

  “Not really. Well, they didn’t mean it. Just guys being perverts.”

  “I mean; you did open the forum for having sex with you. What did you expect?” I said as kindly as I could.

  “I don’t know.” She shook her head.

  “You shouldn’t let it bother you. If a guy hears anything about sex all bars are gone.” I chuckled.

  “You didn’t do that.” She murmured. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

  “Because I care about you, you’re my best friend.” I replied honestly. She beamed.

  “I care about you too. It’s the only thing keeping me from jumping at your proposal.” I laughed a bit.

  We had gotten to my apartment. When we got inside she sat with me in the living room, curled up on the couch with her arm resting on the back of the couch.

  “Anything else keeping you from it? I just want to make sure you considered everything; if I can put you at ease about anything.” I said lightly. She stared back at me.

  “I just don’t know if the…connection will be there.”

  I nodded. It's one of the reason she even held out for so long, wanting that connection. I feel it, I just wish she could feel it too.

  “Well you already know I can get it up for you,” I smirked and she blushed, “you can’t honestly say you haven’t thought about me that way.” She opened her mouth to speak but didn’t for a second.

  “I…not for a long time.” I was giddy, but didn’t show it.

  “What’s a long time?” My eyes drifted to her chest, rising quicker.

  She was enticed right now; didn’t she know that?

  “I don’t know.” That means it hasn’t stopped, but I didn’t press her.

  “Guys are perfectly capable of being friends with girls, obviously…but I still fantasize about you like that cause at the end of the day I’m a guy, and you’re a girl…a hot girl.” I smiled. She swatted my leg as she laughed.

  “Stop it.”

  “What? Telling the truth?” I laughed with her.

  “Do you fantasize about me?” I asked gingerly. Her eyes widened like she was caught in headlights.

  “A little.” She finally admitted.

  “There you go. It will be there…it already is.” She furrowed her brow.

  “What?” My lips twitched with a smile.

  “Your face is two shades darker, so is your neck. You’ve been rubbing your thighs together since we started this conversation and your resting heart rate is not this high.” I gestured to her rapidly falling and rising chest. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed her nerves.

  “Oh.” She barely whispered.

  “Anything else?” She bit her lip as she thought.

  “What happens after?”

  “I pull out.” She glared at me and I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

  “Sorry…what do you mean?”

  “I mean what happens after we finish.” She drawled.

  “We go to sleep, wake up the next day and go about our lives.” She nodded. “I’ll hold you afterwards.” I added.

  Her eyes flickered at me and her lips curled with the hint of a smile. She avoided my gaze for a moment before speaking again. She hadn’t been expecting me to say that, but I knew she would need it.

  “You…won’t try and do it again?” I furrowed my brow in confusion.

  “You think I would do that?” I gaped.

  “I don’t know. No.”

  “I’d never force you to do anything, or make you uncomfortable. I really hope you know that. If you decide to and somewhere along the way you change your mind, just tell me.” She nodded.

  “I know you wouldn’t. I just meant…I don’t know.” She waved it off. I figured out what she was getting at.

  “I’m leaving the ball in your court. If you find yourself obsessed with orgasms and need a release, just come knocking. It won’t ruin our friendship, I know for sure…and if you end up finding the right guy in the near future then we stop. That is, if we even do it more than once.”

  “O-okay.” I smiled a bit. She visibly relaxed. I smiled at her softly and she shook her head, giggling a bit.

  “You up for a ‘Game of Thrones’ Marathon?” I asked.

  “Always,” she grinned, “let me grab my book.” She never did one thing at once. Always reading while doing things. Always doing that while reading.

  Lori was one of the few people that actually read the books before obsessing over the show. She tried to get me to read them, but the only thing I read are my biology textbooks.

  “Let’s catch up on season five.” I clicked through Xfinity. We always waited for each other to watch the new season, we were due for six but hadn’t finished five yet. I was studying for the MCAT when all that happened.

  She wrapped the blanket around herself and started reading. I relaxed into the couch and kicked my feet up. She wasn’t too close to me, but I could feel the heat of her body. I wanted to wrap my arm around her, pull her in close, just like I wanted to do a bunch of things with her…to her. But as her best friend, I couldn’t. If she said yes, for that one night, I could be anything but her best friend. Thinking of that sent a chill down my spine.

  “You want some of the blanket?” She held up her hand, wafting her scent in my direction.

  “Nah, Cheesecake. I’m not cold.” She went back to reading.

  Sometimes, I wouldn’t even know what was happening and I just sit here and watch it, she can read a book and still explain everything that’s going on. As we sat there watching episode after episode, I kept asking myself if I was sure I even wanted to do this.

  I accused myself of being selfish, so you don’t have to do that. Thinking it was just because I wanted her as more than a friend. I know that isn’t it, because I would be fine if she said no. I would, however, not be anywhere near fine if she gave it up to some stranger. Not out of jealousy.

  But because it wasn’t right for her. She isn’t fragile, but she holds on to her feelings, gets lost in them like she gets lost in her books and I know that would mess her up. If it was me though, I would do it right, make sure she felt good and safe and I would be there afterwards if she needed to talk. Just like I always am.

  My stomach growled. I was starving.

  “Hush, Dillon.” Lori teased me. I paused the episode.

  “I’m going to make something to eat.”

  “Make spaghetti like…”

  “Like my mom makes it, I know.” I finished for her. It was probably her favorite thing I make from my mom’s recipe books.

  I made sure I had all the ingredients before I started. She put on Grey’s Anatomy but kept reading, she had already gotten through a considerable portion of it. All through grade school, she was always winning awards for reading the most books in a short amount of time. Or reading all the books on a certain list—I forget the names of these things.

  Once everything got cooking I sat back with her on the couch.

  “How is it so far?” I nudged her with my foot and she made a face while swatting my feet away. She hates feet, it’s the funniest thing.

  “I like it. There’s no romance to mess it up.” She licked her middle finger and then flipped a page. I briefly imagi
ned her licking something else but then brought myself back.

  “I thought you liked romance.” She shrugs.

  “Not these days.” She muttered.

  “Hey,” I nudged her knee to make her look at me, “someone will date you eventually, you aren’t that terrible.” She scowled but not for long, she couldn’t help but laugh. Sometimes I feel like I live to make her laugh, her loud cackle and quiet snort just made my day—my entire week maybe.

  “Thanks for that.” She said between laughs.

  “Anytime.” She stared back at me. I got lost in her eyes, until my gaze drifted to her slightly parted lips, plump and kissable.

  I tore my eyes back to hers quickly only to find she was staring at my lips too. Our eyes met again, I thought about kissing her right then. What harm would it do? We’d already talked about having sex together. But I didn’t.

  “I gotta check on the sauce.” I cleared my throat and left the heated bubble between us.

  That was the only time as I made dinner that I told her to answer me by dinner time. I didn’t regret it, she needed a deadline or we would go back and forth for months—but I didn’t want to remind her either.

  “You want garlic bread?” I asked her. I could see her gleaming eyes from behind the island.

  “Yes!” I chuckled. The girl loved bread, and cheese. She would always say she doesn’t need a flat stomach, she has bread and cheese.

  I loved that she didn’t care. I didn’t have enough fingers and toes to count how many girls I came across that were hung up on how their bodies looked. Sure, Lori worked out and did her yoga. However, she never passed up a cheeseburger or pizza, or anything fried. Maybe it’s why we get along so well.

  I basted the French roll, it was the last thing before dinner was ready. I even set the table, feeling a little weird for doing it. It made it seem kind of like a dinner date but she didn’t seem to notice.

  “This is like a carb dream.” She smiled as she dug into the pasta.

  Watching her eat made it harder for me to. The way her tongue would catch the sauce off of her lips, how her lips would close around the fork—it was all mesmerizing.