If You Only Knew

by Dixie Lee Brown

  Nate was his partner—and probably the best friend he’d ever had. If he got it in his head to tag along, there’d be no stopping him. Telling him the truth might be the only way to make him back off.

  Ty took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Andre Komarov . . . is a Russian Mafia general.” He glanced in the mirror at Rayna’s gasp. She still leaned close to his shoulder, and he recognized the shock in her eyes. “He moved into southwest Portland six years ago and set out to eradicate any competition for his drug trade. It got bloody in a hurry.”

  Nate shifted sideways and looked over the seat at Rayna. “No one could get anything on the bastard. Hell, we didn’t even know what he looked like.” He gestured toward Ty. “This guy volunteered to go undercover. We needed Andre out in the open, but to do that, Ty had to get past the Bobbsey Twins.”

  “The Bobbsey Twins?” Rayna regarded Nate as though she thought he’d lost his mind.

  “Andre has two men who run interference for him. Boris and Mikhail—Nate calls them the Bobbsey Twins because they’re always together. You’ve met Mikhail—briefly—on the way out of the house back there. He’ll have one hell of a sore shoulder because of you. He’s also got some pretty serious bruises on his face and a broken nose. Your handiwork. Right?” Ty grinned.

  A satisfied smile crept across her face. “Two men came into my apartment with Andre. They were doing the dirty work . . . but not very well.”

  “I’m flat-out impressed.” Nate eyed her appreciatively. “Good thing Andre brought plenty of help. Obviously they’d have never taken you in a fair fight.”

  “You’ve got that right.” Ty’s chest swelled with pride in the woman behind him, even as his heart ached with emptiness.

  “So . . . what happened?” She glanced at him in the mirror again.

  “The Bobbsey Twins had him jumping through hoops—proving himself, they said—but he wasn’t getting any closer to Andre. So Ty gave them an ultimatum.” Nate turned to Ty and fell silent.

  “We were running out of time. If they didn’t trust me after everything I’d done, they weren’t ever going to. They said one more test and, if I passed, I’d be in. Except, the test was to kidnap a baby from its mother in a public park in broad daylight. Turned out the baby’s mother was Bree Knight, an FBI agent. Even if I’d wanted to snatch the kid, I’m not sure I could’ve gotten the job done.”

  “She was one tough mother. That’s for sure.” Nate took up the story again. “The PPB was all set to come in, save the day, and make it look legit for Ty, but she barricaded herself and the kid in the women’s bathroom. She wasn’t about to trust anyone she didn’t know, especially a long-haired undercover cop she thought was endangering her daughter.”

  “Ten minutes later, all hell broke loose when a carload of Bree’s FBI buddies arrived. She’d apparently called them from the john.” Ty grinned at his partner, obviously reliving the excitement of the moment. “It was a cluster. The FBI agents weren’t aware of the PPB undercover operation and could easily have destroyed six months’ worth of work.”

  “Luckily, the Twins skipped out, leaving Ty holding the bag, and he spent the night in jail so he wouldn’t blow his cover. What he didn’t expect was Bree visiting him in his cell and telling him her life story. He decided she’d be a big help to us, and she was more than eager to give us a hand. One of her FBI friends, though . . . he didn’t think it was such a great idea. He dropped in on Ty later that night and asked him to reconsider. When Ty refused, the jerk, and a couple of his buddies, beat the shit out of Ty. What was his name?”

  “Sean Phillips.” Ty still found the name distasteful and never understood why Phillips didn’t simply go to Bree and order her to stand down. In the end, though, it was none of Ty’s business, and he was getting what he wanted. As the saying went, what goes around comes around, and Agent Phillips would get his from Ty one day.

  “When we finally got everything sorted out, we learned Bree had been undercover in Andre’s organization during an investigation by the joint task force two years earlier, before Nate or I showed up on the scene. She had him on numerous charges, from drugs to human trafficking. Something went wrong—evidence disappeared. Most of the charges were dismissed, except for a couple of drug-related offenses. Andre went to prison for a year, but while he was inside, her husband was murdered.” Ty burned with the familiar anger that washed over him. “We couldn’t prove it, but everyone knew it was Andre’s hit.”

  “When she found out Ty was undercover, she was only too happy to help. She’d been up-close and personal in the organization. She knew where the bodies were buried. It could have been a huge coup—if everything hadn’t gone to hell.” Nate’s gaze swept from her to Ty before he faced the front.

  “What went wrong?” Rayna laid her hand on Ty’s arm again.

  Nate slammed his palms on the dash. “Damned if I know.”

  Rayna jumped and her hand trembled. Ty cast an angry glare at his partner, then covered her ice-cold hand with his.

  “Are you warm enough?” It was a balmy night, and he’d been running the air-conditioning. He flipped it off.

  A hint of a smile appeared as she nodded, but she still trembled, her eyes searching his. “What happened, Ty?”

  The freeway traffic got heavier the closer they came to Redding. Ty signaled and shifted to the right lane. He’d hit the first exit that offered a decent motel. Rayna still watched him, obviously waiting for the answer to her question. Funny thing was—he wanted to tell her. His girl would understand.

  His girl? Get over yourself, man. She had bigger plans for herself than an ex-police officer turned gun-for-hire. If he wasn’t careful, he’d throw his heart down for her to tromp all over again. He’d been the fool once. That was enough.

  He shook his head. “I managed to keep my cover intact by convincing the Bobbsey Twins I could deliver Bree . . . for a price.” There was a big drug buy about to go down—big enough Andre intended to make a personal appearance. That’s where we planned to make the exchange—Bree for a million dollars. He wanted her that bad.

  “Almost as bad as Bree wanted him.” He flipped on his blinker and switched lanes to go around another vehicle. “She was willing to use herself as bait because she wanted him to pay for her husband’s murder, and she knew her daughter, Madison, would never be safe until we put him away. If we could get him doing the drug deal, plus attempting to kidnap a federal agent, he’d go down for a long time. At least that was what she led me to believe would happen. Special Agent Sean Phillips and a couple of his buddies were nearby to make sure things didn’t get out of hand. Made sense to me, but all I really cared about was getting the scum off the streets of Portland.”

  Ty spotted a Hampton Inn sign ahead. The exit he wanted was a quarter of a mile away. “The official story was the exchange went bad. In order to save Bree’s life, I shot and wounded Andre.”

  Nate snorted. “Right. Now tell me what really went down.”

  Ty swallowed the last of his reluctance. “We had him exactly where we wanted him. Neck-deep in a drug deal and red-handed on kidnapping, attempted murder, human trafficking, and any number of other charges.” He flipped on his blinker and veered onto the exit ramp. The motel sign towered above the roadway about a mile ahead.

  “Agent Phillips detained Andre’s boys and the drug suppliers, and we were ready to call for transportation. That’s when Bree grabbed my Glock and started shooting. She hit Andre twice before I tackled her.”

  “She fired? Why the hell did you tell everyone you shot him?” Nate eyed him in disbelief.

  “Don’t you get it? She was grieving for her dead husband and scared for her kid. I’d have done the same thing if the situation had been reversed. It would’ve been attempted murder for her. For me, it was just a bad shoot. Internal Affairs did a full investigation. I was prepared to accept the consequences, but Phillips apparently pulled some strings, and the PPB ruled it was justifiable use of deadly force. I was cleared for duty.”
Ty pulled through the arched entryway and parked in front of the door to the Hampton Inn. He killed the engine.

  “Andre got ten to fifteen. Bree and Madison went into hiding, afraid he’d reach out from prison again. He was paroled three weeks ago and, apparently, lost no time in trying to find her.” Ty glanced in the rearview mirror, but Rayna didn’t meet his gaze. No one spoke.

  He looked out his side window and grimaced as he relived the destruction of his career, as he’d done every day until he met Rayna. Reaching for the door handle, he paused, the silence condemning him much more certainly than any accusations.

  “Quitting the force seemed like the right thing to do since I’d compromised everything I believed in. I knew Andre might try to find me someday. As it turned out, I still didn’t go deep enough. I couldn’t stay, Nate. Not after I lied. I’m sorry I shut you out but, under the circumstances, I didn’t want you involved.” Ty opened the door and stepped out of the car. Neither Nate nor Rayna uttered a word as he swung the door closed.

  He should have felt better having unburdened himself of the lie that destroyed his career, but an immense sadness weighed him down. He’d lost everything important to him with that one decision six years ago. Now, it was happening all over again. The good thing was, he didn’t have much left to lose.

  He walked into the motel lobby and waited his turn to register. How would Nate take his confession? He could still cause trouble for Bree if he wanted to, and he obviously harbored some bad feelings for her. Nate blamed her for Ty leaving the force, and he’d just found out he’d been right about that all along. Regardless, Ty couldn’t allow him to undo what had been done. Maybe he didn’t make the right choice, lying for Bree, but the decision was made, the ramifications dealt with, and he wasn’t backing down now. He’d have to find a way to convince Nate to let it go.

  The couple in front of him got their keys and headed toward the elevator. Ty stepped up to the counter and smiled at the pretty brunette behind the desk. “Three single rooms, please.”

  The girl returned his smile with a slight blush before she typed some information into her computer. “I’m sorry, sir. We only have two rooms left. One single king . . . one double queen.”

  “Same floor?”

  “Adjoining, actually. We usually save them for people with children, but they’re yours if you want them.”

  “That’ll work.” He tossed his credit card on the counter and began filling out the paperwork she put in front of him. Nate and he could share a room. Not like they hadn’t done it before. It would give them a chance to talk.

  Armed with keys and directions to the rooms, he returned to the car. The silence within was eerie as he parked along the back of the motel, close to a side entrance. Rayna opened her door but sat quietly until he stepped around to help her out. She still trembled, and he tucked her against his side as he studied her eyes. She must have guessed what he was thinking.

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I just need to sleep this off . . . and maybe eat something.”

  He wasn’t convinced, but damn it, he should have thought about feeding her hours ago. No wonder she’d decided she didn’t need him around. “I’ll order something. What sounds good?”

  “I could really go for a big fat cheeseburger and fries.” Her eyes took on the twinkle he remembered when he used to tease her about eating like a truck driver.

  He took her arm and stepped toward the back of the car. “You got it, sweetheart.”

  Relief that her response had been so typical warred with a crazy desire to taste her soft, warm lips. The desire came from nowhere and held him prisoner while he lost himself in her eyes. Thank God Nate cleared his throat and broke the black magic spell.

  “I took the liberty of retrieving your bag from the Best Western while you were waiting for the Bobbsey Twins to show. Had to charm the hell out of the woman behind the counter. In fact, I think I might have a date later.” Nate chuckled, closed the trunk, a bag in each hand, and started toward the door.

  With his arm around Rayna’s shoulders, Ty unlocked the side entrance and found the elevator. “They only had two rooms, but they’re adjoining. Nate and I will bunk together. I’m a light sleeper . . . if you need me. Okay?”

  She nodded, but her eyes were slightly glazed and didn’t quite focus on him. He met Nate’s gaze over her head and acknowledged his worried expression. Nate had apparently also noticed Rayna’s weakening condition.

  The elevator deposited them on the second floor, and they walked halfway down a long hallway before they found their rooms. Ty unlocked the double room first, then walked to the connecting door and opened it wide.

  He caught Nate’s eye. “I’ll be back as soon as I get her settled. I think we should talk.”

  Nate nodded, a grim set to his jaw. “Damn straight.”

  Ty led Rayna to the bed and sat her on the edge. “How about you get some rest and I’ll wake you as soon as your burger and fries arrive?”

  “I could really use a shower.”

  “Maybe later. I’ll help you. Okay?” Ty pulled the covers back.

  She laughed faintly. “Yeah. I’m sure to fall for that.” She crawled up the bed until she reached the sheets.

  Ty pulled the covers over her and brushed the hair from her face. “Can’t blame me for trying, can you?” Damn, he wanted to kiss her. Wouldn’t that just be the topper to her worst day yet? He’d known it would be difficult seeing her again, feeling those same old emotions and not being able to act on them. He just didn’t realize how difficult. He had to finish his job and get out of here, before he did something he’d be sorry for.

  “How’s your head? Do you need anything? Water?”

  “I’ll just rest a little while . . . then food . . . then a shower. Don’t forget . . .”

  “Not a chance.” Before he could stop himself, he bent and kissed her forehead and was surprised by the strength in her grasp when she grabbed his shirt and held on. He plopped on the edge of the bed beside her and gently took her fingers in his, smiling at the impish, almost intoxicated grin on her face. She looked as though she was going to say something, but her eyelids were already at half-mast, and it wasn’t two minutes before they closed in sleep. He placed her hand under the covers, turned out the light, and went to face his partner.

  Nate stood propped against the table at the far end of the room. He finished up a phone call just as Ty walked through the door, removed his hat, and tossed it on the table.

  “Letting your friend Joe know our status. I didn’t figure you’d call him since you obviously aren’t happy about him asking for my help.” Nate set his phone down and crossed his arms.

  Ty stepped to the bed that held his bag, opened it, and pulled out his forty-five semiautomatic. He’d felt naked walking into Andre’s hideout without it. He rifled through the bag until he located the two fully loaded magazines, shoving one in the gun and the other in his back pocket. He crossed to the table, laid the gun down, and sat in one of the chairs, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

  “Let’s have it, Nate. I’m sure you have plenty you’d like to say.”

  Nate cast an appraising look over at Ty. Then he glanced away and shook his head. “If you ever shut me out again or lie to me, I’ll kick your ass. Other than that, you made your decision, and I’ll stand behind you. You’re like a brother to me, damn it. What did you think I’d do?”

  “I knew what you’d do. You’d have lied for me. That’s why I didn’t tell you the truth. I didn’t want you to feel responsible. It would have destroyed you like it did me. That would have been unacceptable.”

  “So you went through all of it alone and left me wondering what the hell happened. Did you think that was acceptable?”

  “Probably not, but it was the lesser of two evils . . . and it was my choice to make.”

  A scowl darkened Nate’s features for a moment. Then he took a deep breath, and the tension seemed to ease from his body. “What now?” He pulled ou
t the other chair and sat.

  “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t stopped Bree from killing Andre. I’m going to finish what she started.”

  “You’re talking premeditated murder.” Nate sat forward in his chair.

  “Don’t try to stop me.” Ty laced his fingers behind his head and watched his friend.

  Nate exhaled slowly. “Shit, Ty, there has to be—”

  A muffled crash came from the other room. Ty jumped to his feet, gun in hand, and raced toward the adjoining door.

  Chapter Six

  * * *

  AS SOON AS he entered her room, Ty spotted her empty bed. Water ran somewhere nearby and drew his gaze to the closed bathroom door. What the hell was she doing? She wasn’t steady enough on her feet yet. He should have known she wouldn’t wait for his help. She never had before.

  Nate came up behind him, and Ty motioned toward the bathroom door as he shoved his gun in the back of his jeans.

  He strode to the door and knocked. “Rayna? Are you all right?” He tried the knob. Locked. “Rayna?” Rapping his knuckles on the door, he called louder, then reared back to kick it in. Nate grabbed his arm and pushed in front of him. A second later, the lock gave way to the credit card his partner wielded, and he stepped back so Ty could go through.

  Cool air struck Ty’s face as soon as he opened the door. Still in her torn black dress, Rayna knelt in the bottom of the tub, shivering. The shower rod and curtain lay half-in and half-out of the bath with one of Rayna’s hands still fisted in the fabric.

  He turned off the cold water, grabbed a towel, and threw it around her shoulders.

  “Must have slipped . . .” She squinted over her shoulder at him. Her lips bore a tinge of blue, and she shook with cold.

  “Everything okay?” Nate stood just outside the door.