3

by Shera Eitel-Casey

  “All night, huh.” He said to me, narrowing his eyes.

  I shrugged my shoulders with a smile and said “All night...”

  He didn't grab a jacket, I swung mine back on and we trekked out to the barn. When we got there he pushed me slowly against the barn wall bringing himself with, I couldn't move. He whispered in my ear “So you just wanted to get me alone.” He kissed my neck and then moved to my lips.

  I put both hands on his sternum and pushed back. “No, I actually thought that the two of us could get this done faster than by yourself.”

  “Hmmm” was all he said. He grabbed the key from above me and started up the tractor and signaled for me to get on. There was a trailer on the back, I hoped he didn't mean for me to get on that because I hopped on the seat behind him and grabbed him around the waist. He pulled up and around to the driveway. He stopped the tractor alongside the other trailer attached to his dad's truck and I got off. It was too wet to drive the truck down to the barn. Jett asked “So, you can pick up a bale of hay and feed huh?”

  I said “Hell no, not the hay anyway, well maybe. You need to turn the tractor around so both trailers are back to back. “He looked at me quizzically.

  “Trust me, Nic and I have done this a million times. Just do it” and to my amazement he did. I made sure the tractor trailer was lower than the trucks by pushing it down with my foot.

  I hopped up on the truck trailer and told him to come up with me. “Now what genius, I do all the work?”

  “I'm glad I'm not the only sarcastic one. Now, we flip the top row end over end so it's on the trailer bed.” The hay was stacked two rows high and three rows deep. He went to grab one, and I showed him. “No do it this way.” He moved his hands to mimic mine, he looked at me thru his eyelashes, “Now just slide.” He slid it so hard that it went off the tractor trailer. “Pure genius Hercules, try to be a little gentler. If we slide together it will go right to the end of the trailer.” We got three bales of hay on the tractor trailer and straightened them. It was a little awkward and not as easy as when Nic and I did it but I hopped back on the truck trailer and nodded for him to come up, he didn't look really impressed but the rest went easier. He jumped down and I slid the feed bags to the end of the trailer where he was standing. He plopped them on top of the hay. He smiled at me.

  “See, not so bad” I said. “Now we're half way done.” We got on the tractor and I got on behind and put my arms around him.

  Another ten minutes at the barn and we had the trailer emptied. I turned to him and said “Now that you know how to do it right it'll go faster next time.”

  He laughed “Really? I don't know how to do it?” he said mocking me.

  “Well you do now,” I replied. “I bet you and your brothers try and toss each bail by yourself seeing who could toss them the farthest or lift it the highest and hurting yourself in the process.”

  He laughed “Just about.”

  “You and your brothers could get it done superfast this way and without hurting yourself. Plus, Nic and I use hooks to hook the hay - it's way easier.” He shook his head in satisfaction.

  I walked outside the barn to check out their yard. We owned an acre and a half which I thought was a lot but they had ten. They had a small pond just beyond their barn and a perimeter of trees and brush surrounding the property. I was scanning the woods nearest us when I swear I saw something large move.

  “Dammit!” I was pissed! How was this guy stalking me when I didn't even know I was going to be here today? I started walking toward the woods, slowly at first. Then I saw the movement again but it stopped behind a tree. I yelled "Hey!" Jett came out of the barn and asked me “what?” I glanced at him and back at the stalker or whomever it was and they started running, I took off after him. Come hell or high water I was finding out who the heck has been following me today. I heard Jett yell "Addie" I just kept running in the direction of the stalker, he was running toward the street. I lost him so I slowed down. The trees were dense and suddenly I was knocked onto the ground and then I was being dragged by my arm, but he stopped, looked back and let go of me. I couldn't tell who it was as he had a ski mask on, but I swear I saw sandy brown hair hanging down from its edges. He looked tall enough and his build looked the same. I laid there frozen not sure what my next move was.

  He started running for the street again. Jett jumped over me flying toward the guy, Jett was running fast! Although Jett seemed to be just as fast or faster, he couldn't catch him. The guy jumped in a dark navy banged up pickup truck, someone was waiting for him, "Did you get his license plate?" I asked Jett as he offered me a hand and helped me up.

  "No, his licensed plate was covered up.”

  “So this was all planned." I said. “I think that’s Cale’s truck” or his ladies friends truck I thought.

  Jett looked a little panicked but he wasn't breathing all that hard, I was still winded and had been on my butt for at least a minute or two. I asked him "What's wrong?"

  Jett started pulling some leaves from my hair and jacket.

  "What is it with you and weirdo’s attacking you?" He asked.

  I stood there and stared at him in rapt. “How do you know it wasn't the boogie man and he was after you?” I said trying to be funny. The sky started to turn dark and ominous, we headed in.

  CHAPTER 22

  We took our shoes off inside and Jett helped me peel my coat off. We went to his room, I stood in the doorway. He peeled off his shirt and put on a new one and asked “Not coming in?”

  I shook my head no. He met me at the doorway and I asked “Aren’t your parents’ home?”

  “Yeah, why?” He replied and unbeknownst to me I let out a sigh of relief a little too loud. “What you don't want to be alone with me?”

  I replied shakily “Not that alone” but smiled. He looked concerned, he leaned on the other side of the door jam and asked me if I wanted a clean shirt. I tugged on the one he had on and I said “I'll take this one.”

  “I wore this for a bit this morning, it's not clean.” I just raised my eyebrows. He took his shirt off right in front of me. As he did, I put my hand on his chest and let it slide down six pack. He almost shivered.

  He handed me the shirt and pointed to the bathroom and he disappeared into his room again. What I don't get is why this gorgeous, super talented, intriguing guy liked me. When he re-appeared he had a new shirt on.

  “I could use a sweatshirt, it's a little chilly.” He gave me a peck on the forehead. When he returned, he smiled at me and said “I'll need that t-shirt back in trade for the sweatshirt. He stepped even closer holding the folded sweatshirt just off to the side. I’m not sure why, but right now, at this instant I wasn't a bundle of nerves, I felt safe and warm, steady. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else, I wanted to be here. I couldn't take my eyes off of his dark and full lips, he moved in closer, slid one hand behind my neck, I closed my eyes and let our lips part.

  I pulled the sweatshirt out of his hand and whipped into the bathroom shutting the door behind me. When I came out Jett wasn't in his room so I went to the family room, he was watching TV on the floor and his mom was in the kitchen. She was only there for a minute and disappeared upstairs.

  “So you don't trust me” he said as I sat next to him. I leaned up against the couch and held my knees up to my chest casually, I started getting nervous. “I do, why would you say that?”

  “You said you didn't want to be alone with me so that must mean you don't trust me.”

  “Do you always think everything is so black and white?” There was a slight pause, a laugh and a “No” escaped his lips.

  “Have you ever thought that maybe I have morals or that I’m not as experienced as you think and I just don't want to go jump into the sack with you? Maybe I’m not interested in having sex at all, it's not like we've even talked about it. Maybe I don’t trust myself around you. Besides it’s not like we are even dating exclusively, are we? What do you want from me? I mean we haven't talked about tha
t.” I went on so long I'm not even sure what I said. I almost felt mad though, I was waiting for him to respond.

  "And there is the fact that you're hot and cold - your mood swings are killing me."

  Jett was looking at the TV now, how long could the silence last. After what felt like forever, he scooted closer to me lying on his side and rested his head on the couch. He broke the bond easily between my hands and put his arm over my legs pulling me closer to him. I let them fall limp to my sides. Softly so no one else in the house could hear, he said “I like you a lot and I feel a lot when we touch or kiss. I would like us to date exclusively, I'm not interested in anyone else."

  He kissed my shoulder I felt a little relieved, but still a little tense. “And for the rest of it” he continued “we can go as slow as you want. If you tell me no or to back off I'll stop, no pressure, I promise, you can trust me.”

  And somehow I did trust him and began to relax, my shoulders fell away. He pulled me down so my head was resting on the couch with his, it was uncomfortable and he whispered “I know something else is bothering you and I wish you'd tell me. Maybe I can help.”

  He got up slowly and pulled me up and held on tight to my hand as he led me downstairs. This time he pulled the door shut making me flinch and he felt it, he turned to look at me. The basement seemed to be a place we went for privacy. I sat on the old gold velvet couch that matched the tattered love seat and Jett sat across from me on the stained and faded coffee table. They didn't look nice enough to sit on but that's where we sat. He waited for me to talk. I waited not knowing how to start.

  I knew he knew some stuff but how much? I asked him “What did Nic tell you?” I asked with no particular tone.

  “What does Nic have to do with this? Does she know?” he looked down and fiddled with his hands, scratching a callus he probably had from lifting weights. He looked back up at me with compassionate eyes and I looked back. “Of course she knows” he said. I felt uneasy and started to squirm in my seat anxiously. I'm not sure if the fact that I was assaulted by a guy bothers me more than the thought of Jett knowing or anybody else for that matter. To me enough people knew and I wanted to keep it that way; but then again if Logan wasn't going to leave me alone then I'm sure more people were going to find out. Plus, who knows how many people already knew and God knows what Kevin, Logan and Lucy have told people. I just assumed everyone was keeping it to themselves but now I’m not so sure. And maybe he’s talking about my dreams, I’m so confused, it’s gotta be about the latter because I keep flinching…

  I started to feel a bit dizzy. Maybe I wasn't remembering to breath. My eyes started to gloss over and I pulled my knees up to my chest. “I really don't want to talk about it, I'll be fine.”

  He sat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched again. Chill out, I told myself chill out.

  “What did this guy do to you? Maybe I can help. Maybe I can get this guy to leave you alone. Is he the one trying to grab you? Your ex-boyfriend?

  “Ex-boyfriend! Hell no, I don't even know him, he just ups and......" I exploded, but stopped myself mid-sentence, I may have opened a can of worms I can’t close. I think Logan needed to shut his mouth, but maybe I needed to shut mine too. Was Jett talking about the guy who tried to grab me today or on our date or both? Did he think it was Logan? I’ve always thought it was Cale, but I have no proof either way. I looked at him mortified, what does he know and what is he expecting me to tell him.

  “Declan, you know, one of my good buddies, plays basketball. He had a tournament at Baskin's School last week and ran into this guy named Logan.” I let my head sink into my knees and mumbled crap, he continued. “Declan said this guy Logan was talking matter-factly to him and asked if he knew you, when Declan said yes, he asked to pass a message along to you.”

  I had a complete look of utter horror and disbelief on my face, I didn't say a word. I wiped a tear and looked the other way. I put both my hands up to cover my face and said “I don't want to hear it.”

  He waited a minute and said “His message was to tell you that 'He’s in love with you and that he cannot wait to be with you again.’ ” He kept looking at his hands.

  “What a bastard” I mumbled.

  Jett said “What did you say?” very slow and calm.

  I repeated myself and said “I don't even know him Jett.” I could tell by the look on Jett's face he wasn't happy.

  “Then how does he know you?”

  "He's a friend of one of my parent’s friend’s kids." As soon as I let that sentence out I knew I was going to have to explain. Maybe messages from this guy were the reason why Jett has been so distant and moody.

  I couldn’t look at him as I spoke… “We were over at my parents friend’s house this last July and I ahh.......met him.......” I took a deep breath. I felt my eyes welling up and turned so he couldn’t see me cry.

  I was going to continue but Jett told me more, “Declan said he went on and on about you how you're so pretty and that he thinks you like him too, and he's sure you two will see each other again but he didn't have your phone number. He made it sound like you had a one night stand with him."

  "Did you have sex with him?” he asked.

  “No! No!” I shouted. “I don't even know him!”

  “Then why are you so upset? You can tell me, I won't tell anyone. I'll beat the shit out of this guy if that's what you want, at the very least I'll get him to shut his mouth.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little with relief. Jett putt his hands on my shoulders and said “You really can trust me.”

  Calmly, I turned, looked into Jett's warm attentive caramel colored eyes and told him "The thing is he's not my boyfriend and never was, I only met him the one time."

  There was another long pause, he was waiting for me to pour my soul out to him, he wrapped his fingers in mine. Just do it I told myself. I cleared my throat and said "He keeps sending me messages to people in our school that he's in love with me and we'll be together soon and all sorts of crap..." I trailed off a little thinking this isn't going to cut it either. "It's not something I have ever talked about to anyone and I really don't want to." I put my forehead on my knees, I'm conflicted whether to tell him or not. Will he think less of me, will he think it was my fault, will he even drive me home when I’m done telling him or will I have to wait for my mom out in the cold to come pick me up?

  "Addie, I really want you to trust me. Since we are dating we should trust each other, and we need to tell each other everything. Otherwise how am I supposed to help or understand? I can't defend you from this guy unless I know what's going on."

  I looked at Jett again and I knew I wanted to be with him and I guess I needed to just trust him. So I took a deep breath..... I started out telling him about where we were and that everyone was sitting in the living room, including Logan.

  I told him EVERYTHING from start to finish. That it started in the middle of a conversation we were having in the living room, then this guy came flying across the coffee table at me. I left out no details, except I did summarize some of the details of exactly how he touched me, but that he did have his hands all over me and ripped my shirt and tried 'other things' was all I said. I continued "I didn't even remember his name until Declan gave me a message back in September from him and I knew it had to be him. I don't even know if I would recognize him if I saw him again." I realized it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I know I must have had a horrified look on my face, my eyes were welling up more and more, enough to drop tears and they did. I was crying in front of Jett, just the thing I didn’t want to do.

  There was such a long lapse of silence, I almost got up to leave but not before I looked at Jett, he looked a little choked up himself. He sat up like he was going to say something and then bent forward and rested his arms on his knees and continued to pick at the calluses on his hands. The tears started to flow and I felt ashamed and like a baby, I couldn't stop crying.

  When I was done I just kept my legs up and m
y head down, I tried taking a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down. Then Jett started asking me some questions “So you never met the guy before that night?”

  “No.”

  “And you didn't kiss him or flirt with him at all before he attacked you?”

  "No! We were in the living room, the guy rang the doorbell and Kevin answered. We were all talking, I wasn't even looking at Logan, I was drawing pictures in the carpet. Tori said something and that started it!" I said with my voice strained; now I was getting mad. "If you think this was my fault or that I asked for it...!" I got up and he caught my arm.

  “Addie no, it wasn't your fault, you should have called the police or at the very least told your parents. That guy...that guy should not have touched you for any reason, even if you did flirt with him – and you just met him and his messages just mean he’s insane. He violated you as a person.... you need to tell your parents.” His voice was quivering with anger.

  “I can't, I just can't, especially not after all this time.” A very long awkward feeling was in the room with us. “I'll take care of this Logan for you, don't worry about that. If you don't want to tell your parents, well that's up to you, but I think you should.”

  "Jett, I don't want you beating him up, I don't want to make things worse!"

  "Worse! How could they get any worse? You think someone is following you and it could be him and you flinch every time I touch you!"

  "It's not you." I said softly.

  "What? I know, I know now."

  "I mean I'm just jumpy. Sometimes I flinch, but it's not as bad now." I hunched my shoulders toward my ears. He put his arms around me giving me a big hug.

  "That's everything, right?" Jett asked in a low soft voice.

  I laughed a little and said “That's everything I know about Logan.....” Wiping away my tears, hoping not to cry again.

  “That's all you know about Logan, so there is something else you aren't telling me?