Igniting the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

  She stops, but hangs her head. “No.”

  “Please?”

  “No.”

  “You need to talk about it. So let’s talk. Converse. Discuss. Chat. Debate. Create dialogue. Have a tête-à-tête. Yak.”

  She jerks her head up, her cinnamon brown hair flying around her glum face. “Stop!”

  “Sorry. How about we go get some ice cream and go to the park?”

  “I don’t want to go anywhere.” I have to keep trying.

  I smile and shrug. “No, it’s cool. It’s a park where only bums and hippies hang out.”

  “Sounds tempting,” she dully replies, going back into my bedroom. Damn it. I suck at this.

  I hurriedly get up and follow her into my room as she climbs back into my bed. When I first took her in here last night, her eyes nearly bugged out from all of my band posters on the walls and the kites hanging from the ceiling. She said my bedroom looks like a twelve-year-old girl’s ultimate fantasy. It’s definitely the enormous Bon Jovi poster above my headboard. I did get the tiniest, teary smile when she saw her skull kite hanging in the corner. What? It’s a rad kite! She left it in Morgan’s car. Hadley wasn’t using it anymore and she didn’t even realize it was gone.

  I laugh. “Yeah, it is tempting. It’s fun watching all the crazy people there.”

  From under the blanket, she muffles, “So, you blend in?”

  “I do, assjack.” She’s quiet, so I bound onto the bed, vigorously bouncing the mattress with my knees, making the springs squeak and for Hadley to stir. “I’ll just join you in bed then.”

  She moves away from me, and morosely jokes, “I have crabs.”

  I’m getting her there.

  I stop jumping. “So do I. What a pair we are!” I lightly laugh and then the silence again fills the room. “I’ll go get some ice cream and bring it back here then.”

  “I don’t want any.”

  “You know, I haven’t changed my sheets in a while.” That’s gross and a lie.

  “Eww.”

  “Yeah, and I’m a single guy with no hopes of ever getting laid again. So, you can only imagine what I do in it…” She doesn’t respond. Come on, Hadley. Laugh. Squeal. Yell. Anything.

  “I don’t care.” Wow. I thought for sure that’d get her out of bed. This is serious.

  This calls for tough tactics. I hop off, go to the end of my bed and yank the blanket from the bed in one swift move. Ta-da! Surprised, Hadley looks down at me, curled in a fetal position.

  “Greg!” Now she’s pissed.

  Good.

  I kneel up on the bed and crawl to the top. I lie next to her, essentially spooning with her. Sitting up on my elbow, I say over her, “Alright, Hadley. Talk.”

  She turns her head into the pillow and says something. I think it’s, “No.”

  “What happened last night? Hell, what happened Saturday night? You’ve got to fill me in. I’m thinking the worst!”

  She wraps her arm around herself, and sadly says, “Yeah. A cop called you last night to pick me up from my apartment, hysterical. Draw your own conclusions.”

  “Did you break up with him?” She makes a moaning sound and starts crying. Christ. I feel like I just shot her grandmother over the last piece of pie at a Weight Watcher’s meeting.

  “Oh. I thought you were going to stay with him if he said no.”

  Hadley shakes her head and weepily mumbles, “It’s not that.” Oh? This is a new development.

  “Is it because he’s a gay space alien?” She doesn’t answer that question. “I didn’t think so.”

  She whispers, “He and Cara.” I guess he did tell her about the kiss. He’s such an asshole for kissing that dick cozy, as Morticia would say—actually saying something funny for once in her life.

  “What about them?” I guardedly ask. I don’t want to volunteer any information and make her more upset.

  Her whisper is quieter. “I… I walked in on Cara giving him a blow job.”

  My heart stops.

  What. The. Fuck?

  I sit up. “What?” My mind is a clusterfuck, a flurry of non-activity as I absorb that bombshell.

  Wilder actually did that…with Cara?

  Take a number, Morgan Yates. I’m going to fucking kill him.

  I have to chew on the inside of my cheek to not say what I really want to say. I steadily ask, “You saw that?”

  Crying, she nods against the pillow. “Yes. He said he thought I was breaking up with him because he said no to my proposal.” No surprise there he said no.

  “So…he thought sticking his cock into the nearest port of call would solve his problems?”

  She yells, “Exactly! I’m so stupid! I trusted him, Greg!” She sniffs and the bed vibrates more as she cries harder.

  Lying back down, I put my arm around her and softly say, “I’m so sorry, Hadley. I didn’t think he’d… Wow. I can’t believe he did that to you. I thought he really loved you.”

  “Me, too. He says he does. He claims he was in so much pain because he thought I was leaving him and he wanted to forget. Do all men do that?” I wouldn’t have! I would’ve fought for her. I would’ve married her. Damn it.

  “No. Not all men are sleazy like that, Hadley. I promise.” Shit. That douchebag makes the rest of us look bad.

  “You’re right about what you said. He told me he’s been trying to get me pregnant.”

  “Oh. What if you are now?”

  “I don’t know. He proposed to me last night. Several times.”

  “After he polished Cara’s tongue?”

  Hadley marginally sits up, putting her hand over her mouth and garbling, “Oh, God, Greg. I’m going to puke.”

  “Oh, fuck. I’m sorry.” She settles back down and I try another version. “He had the nerve to propose to you after turning yours down and then you catching him with…?”

  “Yeah, but it was after I threw my key and ring at him, kneed him in the balls and punched him in the face. So, I think it was a genuine proposal.”

  I loudly laugh over her and snort. “You did that? That is fucking badass, Hadders!” She lightly scoffs at me. It’s close to a smile, so it’s a start.

  “What did you tell him? I mean, I guess the cops weren’t called to your engagement party.”

  “I told him we’re done. We were outside and he was screaming for me. He was bawling, Greg. I’ve never seen him like that before. I’ve never even seen him cry before. It was so sad, even though he brought it on himself. I actually felt bad for him.”

  “Maybe he is sorry. When he wasn’t jealous, I thought he was a nice guy most of the time. Cocky, but nice.” Why in the fuck am I defending that assbag?

  “Did you really have to say that word?”

  “Oh. Shit. He’s egotistical.”

  “A little, but it’s all an act. He’s really a scared little boy who has no confidence in his relationship with me. No matter what I told him, he believed you and I were having an affair.”

  “It must be all the times I grabbed your ass or tongued you in front of him.”

  “Must be.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. I miss him already. I can’t just stop loving him. I can’t turn it off like that. I thought he was my soulmate. My epic love.”

  “I don’t get how he could cheat on you.” I’m still flabbergasted.

  “He said he was dying without me. Well, I’m dying without him. What am I going to do?” She rolls over and looks at me with tear-filled eyes. “What if I am pregnant? I’d tell him. He’d be in my life forever then. How do I not love him? He’s all I ever wanted. I want to forgive him. What the fuck is wrong with me? I caught him cheating on me and I’m still in love with him.” She shakes; full-on crying again, yelling behind her hands, “I’m such a whore like Cara!”

  I pull her to me and hug her. “No, you’re not! You’re right. You can’t just turn your feelings off. I know that. It’s okay if you still love him.”

&nbs
p; “I want to hate him! I do for what he did to me! But, then I still love him so much! I miss him!” She clutches onto my Journey shirt and shakes her head against my chest. “He said he was thinking of me the whole time, even though he tried to forget me. He didn’t think it was cheating because he thought we broke up. He swore he had never cheated on me before.”

  I don’t know if I should tell her about the kiss. Maybe he did tell her. I’m guessing it kind of pales in comparison.

  I need to talk to him prior to kicking his ass.

  Hadley stayed in bed the rest of the day and night Tuesday. Morticia texted me, saying Wilder’s neighbors saw them fighting in front of his apartment. Sounds like what Hadley described. I told Morticia what they were fighting about. A mistake doesn’t quite describe the regret I feel for telling her. She is obscenely upset. Shit. That wench gets back from her pre-honeymoon thing Thursday. I’m sure the shit is going to fly for Wilder then. May God be with him because if she gets to him first, she’ll torture him and make his death painful.

  Wednesday, I got Hadley up and made her go to work with me, at least try to work. I told her I’d take her back to my place if she couldn’t get through the day. Val has been awesome, as usual. I filled her in on what’s going on, to an extent, leaving out the gory details. I’ll let Hadley tell Val what she wants, but mostly I felt awkward talking about the misdeeds of our coach’s penis to Hadley’s boss. I only told Val that they broke up after he said no. Val was so dejected. As she cried and hugged me, she said I was a good egg. Not sure why me telling her a sad story about our friend makes me any kind of egg, good or otherwise. She said Hadley didn’t need to worry about vacation days, telling me to do whatever I need to do to help Hadley through this. As will Val. I know Val loves Hadley. Everyone does. I offered Val to take my vacation days I have saved to use for Hadley, but she laughed at me. I didn’t think it was funny. I was serious.

  I check on Hadley often. Or pretend to not check on her. I take the long way to the restroom, the copy room, and the kitchen. I visit her office to check on the scenery more often, and accidentally dial her extension and then chatting with her, making up funny happenings going on in the alley below my window.

  Before lunch, my phone vibrates. I pick it up and see a text from none other than Finn Wilder.

  -----------------------------------------------

  Can you get Hadley to meet me at

  Chimborazo? She won’t answer my

  emails or return my calls. Liberty statue.

  12:00. Please, Greg. I need to talk to her.

  I love her.

  -----------------------------------------------

  I reply back that I’ll try to. Shit. Why am I helping that fucker?

  Knocking on Hadley’s doorframe, I ask, “Yo, what up, hoochie?” She tolerantly glances at me, but then back at her computer. Still not in a joking mood. Can’t say I can hold that against her. Poor Hadley.

  I sit on the edge of her desk, crossing my arms. I happen to notice the pictures of her and Wilder are broken and in the trash. Great. How do I approach this now? I don’t want to not tell her he wants to see her. She’s been lied to enough.

  I lick my lips and clear my throat. “Um, Wilder texted me. He wants to see you.”

  Her ponytail flips around before her head does. “No! I can’t see him. He’s been calling me nonstop.” Her hands start shaking and she agitatedly bounces in her chair, looking around. Scattering papers on her desk until she finds her phone, she picks it up and briefly looks at the screen before she yells, “I don’t want to talk to him ever again!” Suddenly, she wings her phone across the room where it smashes against the wall, breaking into a bunch of pieces. Nice throw, Hadders! I think she could step in for Crick or me with no problem.

  I look from the wreckage and then to Hadley. “So, I’m taking that as a no?”

  “Oh, my God! My phone!” She jumps up and runs over to it, crying hysterically as she picks up the pieces.

  I laugh and stand. “Wow. You just put that one out of its misery. Now try throwing Morticia like that.” Her shoulders jump with her cries. She is unquestionably losing it. I walk over and kneeling next to her, I put my hands on her shoulders. “Hadders, it’s okay. It was old. It was its time to go. It’s a part of the beautiful cycle of life.”

  Frantically shaking her head, she argues, “No! How will I talk to him?”

  I sigh. “Hadley, you just said you don’t want to.”

  She swings her arms and ponytail crazily. “I might change my mind!”

  “We’ll get you a new phone. It ain’t no thang, chickadee. That one was a piece of shit anyway. If you want to talk to him in the meantime, you can use my phone.” She wails louder and I look to Val’s office for assistance, but her door is closed. “Come on. It’s okay.” Hadley puffs air fast, covering her face to hide. I curl her into my arms and she cries into my shirt. Fuck. She’s not going to make it through the day.

  After getting her calmed down enough to sit at her desk, I text Wilder back telling him she’ll be there. He’s not going to like what Hadley looks like now.

  Walking up to little Lady Liberty, I see Wilder standing in front of the railing, looking out at Richmond. He’s wearing a gray T-shirt and long, dark blue nylon shorts. Ugh. He looks like he’s going to the gym. Well, maybe he was. I would never leave the house looking that bad. I guess he has that hard body to maintain for Cara. What a canoe.

  When he hears my footsteps, he turns around, appearing sort of optimistic, but when he sees it’s me, his shoulders hunch and he mopes.

  I keep my distance from him like he’s a wild animal that will do something unexpected, like feeding my nuts to angry rodents. Well, he did stick his peter into the jaws of a cock-eating vampire. That was pretty unexpected.

  I walk to the railing, turning to face him as I hold onto it. Upon closer examination, he looks worse than his clothes do. The most obvious thing I see is that he’s wearing glasses. Did not know that he did. Different. Behind his glasses, his eyes are bloodshot and swollen. His hair is also all over the place, his beard is filling in, his shoulders are drooped, and there’s no smile. Finn Wilder usually has a hint of some sort of smile, be it cocky, teasing, friendly or his ridiculous gross-in-love smile he only gives to Hadley. Yuck. Now, he looks like a broken man. He should be. The next thing I see is his key necklace. Something catches my eye. Hanging on the chain next to his key are Hadley’s ring and key. That scores a few points with me.

  He looks past me and then eyes me suspiciously. “Where’s Hadley?”

  “Not here. I’m her stand-in.” I glance down at my teal dress shirt and then back up to him. “Damn it. I forgot my name tag. It should read: Asskicker. Sorry for the confusion.”

  He inhales and messes with his damn hair. “Shit.”

  “Why in the fuck did you hurt her?”

  “Greg, I’m not talking about this with you.” He starts walking away, but I follow his ass.

  “Oh, no you don’t, dickhead! You filleted my best friend!” He stops walking and I stop a couple feet behind him and go on, “Do you know what she’s going through? She looks like fucking hell! She’s not sleeping, eating, smiling, or working. She’s on the verge of a fucking meltdown every second! I have to constantly check on her to see if she’s still alive!”

  He suddenly jolts to me. “I’m a fucking asshole! I know! Nobody can tell me something about myself that I don’t already know! I hate my fucking self!”

  “Awesome because I hate you, too! I don’t get how you could fuck another woman if you were so in love with Hadley!”

  “I’m a dick! I thought she was leaving me!” He throws his head back and closes his eyes. “I just wanted to not hurt. That’s not an excuse, but I don’t know what else to say. I was weak.” He brings his head up, and walks past me to go back to the railing, hanging his head and hands over it. When I walk closer, I now notice he has bandages on a couple of his fingers. Did he punch a mirror? I wouldn’t blame him bec
ause I want to punch him, too.

  “How could you tell her no in the first place?”

  He shakes his head at the view. “Because I’m a motherfucking moron. I thought I’d lose her if we got married, but then I thought I’d lose her if I didn’t marry her. I always had a feeling I was going to lose her either way. Like I never had a prayer of ever truly holding onto her.”

  “You didn’t exactly help by cheating on her. She wasn’t going to leave you, even if you turned her proposal down. She told me she would stay with you anyway, you jackass.”

  His face crinkles as he looks at me. “She was?”

  “Yeah. That’s how much she fucking loves you. Even now. Fuck.”

  He raises one of his dark eyebrows that don’t match his head’s hair color. “She still loves me?”

  I try glaring at him, but end up rolling my eyes. “Yeah, she does.” He drops his head and I hear him snivel. This is weird. Is he crying? I have no idea how to handle an awkward situation like this. I’m usually the one crying, which is a whole different jurisdiction of awkward.

  He clears his throat and raises his head. His eyes are a little glassy, but hopeful. “Do you think she’ll take me back?”

  “I don’t know. Should she?”

  “I love her, Greg. I’ll do anything to get her back.”

  “Even marry her?”

  He eagerly nods his head. “Whenever and wherever she wants. I’ll do it in all 50 states if she wants me to.” That’s a lot of paperwork. He’d hate that.

  I feel a dare coming on.

  Still, I’m skeptical. Putting my hand in my pocket, I shake my head. “So, you just changed your mind about that now? How’s that shit work?”

  “I guess, I uh, I didn’t know what I had until…” He sighs and looks away from me.

  I laugh. “That’s fucking grand, Wilder. You really didn’t know the best thing that will ever happen to you was right in front of your damned face?”

  “I did. I just was scared and I thought she’d always be there like she said she would, and that I had time to change my mind.”