Igniting the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

  “Oh, so you also took her for granted. How fanfuckingtastic of you.”

  He nods his head at the sloping ground in front of us. “Look, I know I’m a prick. I fucked up Hadley’s life, which is my life. I made mistakes.” He turns to me and yells, “I want to make them right with her!”

  “I don’t know if you can! You ripped her goddamned heart out! She’s a fucking wreck! I can’t even imagine what she’s going through since she saw what she did! Can you?”

  He sighs and stares out past the railing again. “No.”

  “Do you think she’ll just get over that? How do you think she’d ever have sex again with you without thinking about your dick in Cara’s mouth?”

  He angrily looks at me. “I don’t know, but I can’t let her go! I love her! She’s the only woman I’ll ever love! I want her back! I’ll do whatever it takes! Fuck, Greg!” Wilder bows his head and runs his hand through his hair before yelling at the weeds, “I thought I was in pain before when I thought she was leaving me! No! This is fucking excruciating! I can’t live without my Becks!”

  “You should’ve thought of that and fought for her before you turned to Cara! Shit! You don’t know how fucking lucky you are, or were. You’re an insecure asshole who’s so self-absorbed you only were worried about how you felt after you rejected her!”

  “I know! I should’ve… Shit. I should’ve…”

  “I think you know what you should’ve done! You should’ve kept your dick in your fucking pants and worked it out with Hadley! Told her you’d marry her for Christ’s sake!”

  He gives me a stern look. “I will. I will marry her.”

  “Too late, douchebag!”

  “No! It’s never too late!”

  “Then fix this, Wilder!”

  “I’m trying!”

  “You’re doing it wrong!”

  “Then, what do I do?”

  I laugh. “You’re asking me? You tore into me at the church, accusing me of being in love with her!” Wilder gawks at me, but he doesn’t seem to have anything to add. “You are so fucking jealous of my friendship with her! For what? We’re friends!” I nod and look him in the eye. “But, you’re right. I do love her.” His eyes snap open wide like headlights on a sports car. “Who doesn’t love her? You fell for her in a hospital.” When I say that, something hits me and I again laugh. “Oh, I get it now! That’s why you were so worried about her in Fayetteville with me. You thought she’d fall in love with me down there since we were in a hospital, like it’s some kind of aphrodisiac. Am I wrong?”

  He actually looks chagrined. Imagine that. His face twitches when he reluctantly says, “No. It crossed my mind.”

  I’m amazed. “I can’t believe I actually connected those dots,” I say out loud to myself. Well, shit. Go figure. I’m more observant than I thought.

  “I love Hadley like a sister. I don’t know how many times I have to get that through your thick skull! She wouldn’t cheat on you! I’m not fucking her and I have no plans to!” I make a face. “That would be just too weird anyway. That would be like making out with one of my sisters, which thanks for that thought. She loves you! Oh, and hey, another thanks to you for thinking I would carry on an affair with her while she’s with you. Because that would be so fucking classy of me!”

  “I’m sorry, Greg. I am.”

  “You say it, but you don’t seem to mean it because you keep going back to being jealous!”

  “Sorry.”

  I frown. “How many times can you apologize without needing to hire a damn publicist to do it for you?”

  Sulking, he nods. “Okay.”

  “You could always get a stamp and use it.”

  “Right.”

  I laugh. “Or one of those key chains that records messages.”

  Annoyed, he pounds the railing. “I get it!”

  Dropping my smile, I snap, “No. What you really need to get is over your fucking self! Put Hadley first for once! Man-the-fuck-up and quit boo-hooing about how scared you are, how sad you were when you thought she was breaking up with you or how you can’t live without her now. It’s time to put your big boy pants on, Martha, and join the rest of the grown-ups at the canasta table!”

  He screws up his face. “Huh?”

  I close my eyes. “Criminy. Pay attention, Wilder.” I point at his chest. “You need to show her you’re going to be a better man for her. Sell yourself. Wow her!”

  “How? She won’t even talk to me!”

  “Do you really blame her? She did see you playing dick pool with Cara’s tonsils.”

  He glares at me. “Watch it.”

  I reluctantly smirk. “Maybe that was a bit much.”

  He continues to glower. “Maybe.”

  I sigh and cross my arms. How do I handle this? “I want to hate you and tell you to go fuck yourself for what you did to Hadley.” He looks at the ground and inhales. Fuck. Why am I such a blathering asshat? Now I’m feeling bad for the cheating bastard. “But, I can’t.” He flips his head up to me in shock. I roll my eyes. “I know you love her. I’ve been around the two of you for two and a half years. I want to believe you do love her like you claim to.”

  He nods. “I love her so much. I made the biggest mistakes of my life and I do want to fix them.”

  “Oh, and why did you kiss the knee-happy whore?”

  “She kissed me and I reacted for a few seconds. It was a reflex. Nothing more. I told her I’m in love with Hadley. Did Morgan tell Hadley about it?”

  “Not yet, but she probably will.”

  “Shit.”

  “In the grand scheme of things, how much more damage could it really do at this point? It’s kind of like putting out an inferno by blowing on it. Oh, fuck. I’m sorry…”

  “I’m sure you are.” Apparently, he’s pissed, but trying to hold in his rage.

  So, I push him again.

  “I think seeing you competing in the cock luge in the Blow-lympics was too much for her to handle.”

  “That’s enough!”

  Just in case, I clarify, “So, you don’t want Cara?”

  He instantly negates, “No! I never did! Only Becks.” His eyes fall and he sucks on his bottom lip. “Hadley.”

  I glare at him. “You better not be blowing sunshine up my ass, Wilder.” Shit. I don’t even realize what I say until I do. I can’t help it.

  His voice hardens. “Believe me. I’m not. I’m dying without her.”

  “If I’m going to go to bat for you, coach, you better not be fucking lying to me.” He shakes his head as the wind blows through his blonde hair. I thought his hair was brown? Maybe I’m not that observant after all.

  “I’m not. I swear to God I’ll never hurt her again.”

  “Because if so, I’ll make sure she moves on without you. And if you do anything to fuck up again, I’m done helping you.”

  “I know.”

  Looking hard at him, I warily nod and peer out to the houses in the distance outside the park. He asks, “You’re really going to help me get her back?”

  “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll talk to her. You have to give her time, though. Ease up on the calls, the emails, the impromptu visits. Leave her alone for a while. Let her think.”

  “I don’t want to lose her…again.”

  I shrug. “That’s entirely up to her. If she wants to move on, that’s for her to decide. If she wants to start dating our mailman Fred then God bless her. I won’t stand in her way, but neither will you. Hell, I’ll even DJ their wedding. She deserves to be happy. With or without you.” Oh, shit. That song describes this situation perfectly. There goes another good one out the fucking window. Damn it, U2.

  “I know she does.” Wilder sighs and twists around to lean his back onto the railing. He looks at me and squints from the sun, and I squint from the glare off his glasses. He sadly says, “I’ll back off, but I don’t want her to think I’m giving up on her.”

  “I’ll tell Hadley you’re giving her time. She’ll kn
ow you didn’t give up.”

  He looks at me with determination. “I’ll never give up on my Becks.” He wouldn’t if he knew what’s good for him.

  I look around us for any bodyguards I didn’t notice, saying, “How are you here, by the way? I’m sure Ricky is all over your ass about Monday night.”

  He lowers his head and nods. “Uh, yeah. He’s been staying with me. He’s asleep since he works tonight.”

  I raise my eyebrows and grin. “Oh, so when the babysitter’s asleep, wicked Finnigan will play.”

  “Funny.”

  “You look like shit. Don’t you work today?”

  He looks up. “No. They’re not exactly happy with me right now since I made the police blotter in the paper.”

  “Oh. I see you have a busted lip. Is that from Hadders?”

  “Yeah.” He frowns and ruffles his hair.

  I nod at his arm. “Are those scratches from her or Cara?”

  His frown deepens. “They’re not from Cara.”

  I laugh. “Ooh! Those scratches are dick-centric, right?” I love it. I have the upper hand now.

  Crossing his arms, he snaps, “Will you shut the hell up?”

  I happily shake my head. “Hey. I can say whatever the fuck I want, Wilder. So, don’t even start.” He sighs, but doesn’t say a word. He knows I’m right. Gotcha by the balls, coach.

  I prod, “What about your hands?”

  He flexes his fingers into fists. “That was me.”

  I move on with my questioning. “Are you going to keep coaching our team?”

  “Uh, that’s up to Hadley. I think I should probably sit out a couple games. I honestly don’t want to be there if she’s not going to play anymore. It’ll be too rough for me.”

  “So…if Hadley stays but wants nothing to do with you still…”

  “I’ll quit. Ricky will stay. Cara’s gone.”

  “Won’t you still see that bitch at work?”

  He grumbles, “Yeah, but nowhere else.”

  “Except maybe in a bathroom stall, right?”

  Looking up, he pleads, “Stop.”

  I giddily laugh. “Nope. Anyway, I have no idea what Hadley will do yet. I’m guessing she won’t play this Saturday.”

  Wilder nods and sighs before asking, “Where is she? She’s not at her apartment. Her car is, but…”

  “Oh, I see you’ve tried visiting her.”

  He stares at me, which is awkward, and then quietly admits, “Yeah.”

  I cross my arms and try not to laugh at his useless attempt to see Hadley. I crook an eyebrow, asking, “Make a scene?”

  Shrugging, he looks away from me and over his shoulder at the weeds. I hear him mumble, “A little.”

  “She’s safe.”

  Like he’s a cat watching one of those red lights on a wall, he looks back to me fast. “Is she with you?”

  “Leave her alone, Wilder. I mean it. You’ll drive her even further away.”

  He nods again. “I will. I just want to know if she’s…”

  I snort. “Okay? No.” He glances to the ground, gnawing on his lip. “Oh, and here’s a friendly heads up, coach.” Wilder looks back up and I say, “Morticia is after your ass. She’s on her broom and she’s gunning for you. She’s definitely not as cuddly as me.”

  He sighs. “Fuck. I expected as much.”

  I push off the railing. “Well, anyhoo. I’m hitting the road. Like I said, give Hadley some distance. Maybe it’ll all work out, but only if you don’t push too hard. Oh, and don’t go around sticking your dick into open containers for Christ’s sake.”

  “Fucking knock it off, Rodwell!”

  My entire body shakes with laughter. “Not a chance in hell. This is kind of fun.”

  “Thanks.” His dirty look gradually lightens when he sighs. “Really. Thank you for helping me. I need her back. I’ll do whatever it takes. I want to marry my Becks. That’s the truth.”

  “I just hope I’m not making a colossal mistake the way you did. I guess I won’t since my zipper doesn’t have an Express Lane sign above it.”

  He frowns and I laugh. Shit. Maybe I’m the asshole.

  “How is she doing?”

  On the phone and looking out my office window, I watch an old man across the street fighting with a newspaper machine. The old bastard finally kicks it and flips it the National Bird. Another satisfied customer.

  “Morticia, she threw her phone at a wall. Smashed it to bits.”

  “Shit.”

  “It deserved to go out with a bang.”

  “Has that asshole been calling her?”

  Never missing an opportunity to harass her, I ask, “The phone? I just told you it’s deceased. It’s not calling anyone.”

  “Ass Rod!”

  I laugh. “Oh, yeah. That’s kind of why she threw it, but then she cried because she won’t be able to talk to him if she wants. I feel so bad for her.”

  “She doesn’t need to be talking to him!”

  “Morgasm, he wants her back. He seems truly sorry for what he did.”

  “You fell for it? Of course he’s sorry now! He was caught! Do you think he’d really tell Hadley what he did with Cara if he wasn’t caught?”

  “I don’t know. I hope so.”

  “No, because he would’ve lost her anyway! He wouldn’t have told her!”

  “He’s a fucking mess!”

  “So is Hadley! That’s all we should be worried about right now!”

  “I know, but if they want to get back together, that’s up to them! Let them work it out!”

  “Why? So he can fuck around again? I don’t think so! He told me he wasn’t fucking Cara!” I hold the receiver away from my ear as she continues with her tirade. “He’s nothing but a liar and a cheat! I’m going to let him know he doesn’t have a chance in hell with her!”

  When she pauses, I slip in, “I warned him he’d better not screw up again because this is the last time I help him. Then, I told him if Hadders wants to move on without him, he needs to let her and I’ll support her, whatever she does. I think I even married her off to the mail guy or Rory with the limp in the cafeteria. I forget. Doesn’t he have a peg leg?” I spin my chair back around and say, “Just leave them alone. Be there for Hadley!”

  “You’re not leaving them alone! This isn’t fucking Love Connection! I can’t believe you’re taking that fucker’s side!”

  “I’m just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt! He’s sorry for hurting her. He thought they were breaking up and he wanted to forget about the pain. He made a mistake. I know he loves Hadders. I want to believe him.”

  “You believe what you want.”

  Yeah. At the risk of my life and my hearing. Fuck.

  Wednesday night, Hadley finds my liquor collection. Well, a few warm cans of beer, some wine coolers, and half a bottle of the Captain, if that constitutes as a collection. At least she’s out of bed, I guess.

  She offers me a glass of something questionable that looks like milky gasoline and smells like the shower at the gym. I smile at her and set the glass down. When I’m around her, I don’t drink much. I always feel like I need to watch her for some reason. Especially tonight. I don’t want to be sloshed and she does something stupid.

  I hear her in the kitchen messing with the ice as I hang my leg over the side of my chair, next to the couch, and flip through the channels. She finally takes a seat on the couch next to my bed pillow and blanket, and drinks her concoction. A lot of them. She keeps returning to the kitchen to make more, and each time, she sways and stumbles a little more. I don’t know if I should’ve let her get drunk, but then again, why the hell not?

  Engrossed in some stupid cooking show where they’re cooking raccoons, I’m pretty sure, I’m caught off guard when I hear her slurred voice in the kitchen.

  “Oh, you’re home! I didn’t mean to bother you! Are you and your penis busy?”

  Shit! I jump up and see she has my phone.

  “Hadders!” I sh
out, making her jump and bang her arm against the counter. She giggles at me, but then frowns at the phone.

  “So what if I’m drunk? Are you? That would be funny. You can drunk-dial me next!” She snorts and I roll my eyes. I swear she gave me that habit.

  She sullenly asks, “Do you miss me?” Oh, no.

  “You do?” This isn’t good.

  She snaps, “Does your cheating dick miss me, too?” Yep. Just as I thought.

  “What? I noticed when Cara had it in her mouth, it was a little…lacking. Why? Was she not good at it?” Son of a bitch.

  “I mean, it’s not like you have a whole lot to offer, but I’ve seen you a lot harder than that before. What’s that famous saying? It’s not the size of the canoe but the choking of the stream?” I burst out laughing. Fuck. That’s funny.

  I ineffectually try to take the phone from her, not really wanting to, but she teeteringly dodges me. I easily give up and go back to the chair. Let Wilder deal with it. He has it coming, so to speak. Shit. Sometimes I make myself laugh.

  “It reminded me of that one New Year’s Eve when we were staying at Ricky’s and you tried to fuck me, but you were so drunk you couldn’t really get it up.” Wow. “You kept humping my leg to get harder because I couldn’t get the condom on you. You finally gave up and passed out. I had a bruise and you had a dick burn from that.” I laugh and grab the remote, turning down the volume. This is better than any show on TV. By far.

  “You weren’t drunk with Cara, so what was your problem? Are you getting old?” I snort and shake my head.

  “What? Why would I make you harder? I don’t get it.” I laugh at Wilder for having to explain that one.

  She’s quiet as she lets him talk. “You say you love me, but you got even a little hard for her! You said I only get you hard! I swear I even got you hard at Mass! I don’t understand!” Oh, fuck. And here we go speeding downhill.

  I go back out to the kitchen as she says, “I don’t believe a damned word you say! You can fuck your whores as much as you want now! They can have your fucking limp dick! You could never get me off with your cocktail wiener anyway! I faked all of my damn orgasms with you! So, ha!” Damn. I kind of feel bad for Wilder. She sounds like a sailor on leave, stuck at an abstinence rally.